FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKYOOOOOOOOUUUU
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Soviet paratroopers sliding off a Tupolev TB-3, shortly before WW2
May 23, 2016 11:54 AM
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKYOOOOOOOOUUUU
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Drewscifer
Did they mean to slide then?
Yoshk0
You see Ivan in Russia jump of plane not out plane
Zetor
Wheeeeee!
mercbrit
That's when sex was safe and skydiving was dangerous!
Peanutbunny
Good gravy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzMb_ue4aG4
robrudewastaken
you can tell the first guy had a redbull
thevoidedbridge
That first guy was having way to much fun
imgnh
Bye flaps.
Ullala
It's like a clown car with wings
Youcantpronouncemyname
I feel slightly nauseated now.
TurdSlynger
Are those wings made of corrugated steel?
ChrillerTheKiller
Username checks out.
IShowUpWhenSomeoneHasARelevantUsername
I have arrived
ChrillerTheKiller
You're kinda late.
DrProfessorRocketSurgeon
"Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft is an unnatural act" -- Gunny Thomas Highway
Lowlyelevated
This aircraft is Russian. "Perfectly Good" Is highly debatable.
madetheaccountjustforyou
... flying in general is a pretty darn unnatural act for human beings.
bond100
That's why the plane flies and we sit in it. Sitting is pretty natural. Evidence: 2/3 of americans.
TadashiK
Fuck.
JoeHarkins
Note the guy standing up in nose turret, waving them off. This plane needed all those engines to lift the balls involved.
realmdweller
Probably the political officer reminding them what will happen if they don't jump.
D0SH
Mission Report December 16, 1991
5knotcans
Oh man it never fails, whenever you just have your pre-war bomber waxed some one drags their butt over it.
Gorapora
Only the first guy dived headfirst.
ArcLightCRO
The first guy to jump off is like: AAAAAAAAAAAA MOTHERLAND!!!
HraHaalari
Hey look! Free vodka!
seancm1
Oh look real men
seancm1
No but men seemed tougher and didn't take as much shit.. least that's the impression I have
mordaedil
They all died.
fen4
Amazing what you'll do when you don't have a choice.
JudgementalMan
These are paratroopers, I'm betting they volunteered. You don't conscript paratroopers, that only leads to bad things.
Bloodrevn
Soviets- doing orky things, before it was cool.
DixieDeadbeat
Always upvote da orks.
myweaknessisstrong
See komrade, if make red, it is going faster.
Pootisborn
Stuff like this makes me wish I could favorite comments.
myweaknessisstrong
Seeing comments like this makes me realize that "WAAAAGH" is ork for "love".
SingleFlamingle
Dakka dakka dakka!
haribopewps
In soviet Russia, we ride on top of plane.
CreamBot
Could you imagine being a conscript back then? "Now just climb on the wing and slide off youll be fine!"
ARGENTVS
Paratroopers were mostly volunteers that chose that and received a hard training. Practically they were special ops.
Blobmanguy213
Or orders like now charger the fascist machine guns..But sir I don't have gun ( gets shot)
ARGENTVS
Myth, they had more guns than people.
Blobmanguy213
Fucking hell mate it’s been 2 years
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
So these guys just told on for dear life on takeoff and ascent ?
swinglinered
I think they are inside and climb out of hatches on the top. Then slide down.
somnif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzMb_ue4aG4 they start inside, then move out for the jump. No idea why.
somnif
Found out why. Tiny door = slow jump rate = wide drop zone. Piling out on wing=quick jumps=compact landing area=Good for combat!
Humanchicken
Probably had harnesses tethered to the plane, still absolutely terrifying.
DystopianReality
You see, Ivan: when are too many of infantries, dropping from off plane makes more fun AND less infantries.
Supermurse
No one is going to comment on an open cockpit heavy bomber in the late 1930's? The US had already fielded the B-17 by this time.
Torenico
The TB-3 was already retired by the late 30s, it was still used in the Great Patriotic War because it was an all-out war against Germany.
TheSkipjack95
Not to mention the liberal fucking up of the airflow on the wing because of the paras sliding on top of there
DougDeNasty
Those things don't fly, they are so ugly the ground repels them.
TheSkipjack95
You're thinking of helicopters, m8
eetsumkaus
u wot m8
TheSkipjack95
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3f/Mi-24_Desert_Rescue.jpg come at me bruv
somnif
They would be inside for take off and most of the trip, only moved out before the slide and jump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzMb_ue4aG4
JupiterMiningCorpRep
TB-3s first flight was 5yrs before the B-17, the Soviets didn't really have an interest in heavy bombers so they didn't replace them
Supermurse
Unfortunately, not upgrading or modernizing equipment is something that would come back to bite them in the ass later.
bootymen
Well soviets did have superior am or fleets at the time, suspassing u.s army
MediumPlatypi
Pretty sure purging the hell out of their experienced military leadership in favor of Stalin's lackies was also a major factor.
JupiterMiningCorpRep
Yeah, they didn't really expect Nazi Germany to turn on them and BF-109s vs Biplanes is not pretty
waiwode
When your entire industrial base is still struggling with "making enough tractors" modernizing air planes takes a back seat.
bootymen
The only advance country with superior industry and tactic at the time was nazi,not even u.s could consider being advanced until late of ww2
JudgementalMan
Total falsehood, German tech was for the most part inferior. The wonder weapons didn't work...
waiwode
Collectivization required machinery. And the Soviet Union didn't have enough. Nor enough skilled trades. The industrialization of...(1/2)
waiwode
(2/2)...the SU was on an unprecedented rate, unmatched by even the indust. of 19th-20th c Japan. But when you start from scratch....
DoktorLurker
"Comrade, why not door in SIDE of plane?"
Voggix
Came here to say this. Have updoot.
degenerator
Their balls are too big to fit through side door.
IBeatOffToKittenVideos
You see Ivan if door is of inside of plane we have no way of leaving
Zeda
Yeah, there actually is a side door.
JohnnyLawlessEsq
Actually, going off the wings is not a bad idea if you have a relatively slow plane. A door near the tail puts you at risk of hitting (1/2)
JohnnyLawlessEsq
...the tail section. Watch this, it's scary how close he gets to the elevator. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utnEpYvOGN8
bamcockseverywhere
"Alexi! Why starboard flaps are down?" "Is because corrugated steel kicked by paratroopers and breaking control wire, Ivan"
ohbananajoe
there actually is a side door right above the wing
112864
it's way more fun like that
ImAlreadyNakedUnderTheseClothes
"Teknik" said the russian when he saw a hinge.
SergeantMajorSpoiler
Varastit kivasti Kummelista.
jdlsharkman
These were the first paratroopers in the world. Only issue was that they didn't have a designated paratrooper plane, so they used the TB-3.
somnif
It did have a side door though, and they would be inside for most of the trip. Tiny door though, so slow to get out (1/2)
somnif
By piling out onto the wing before jumping, everyone jumps quick, which means a compact grouping for the landing area.
MyFavoritesIsAllComics
"Ivan, you are fired, that is why"
DoktorLurker
Fire conscripts from cannon at enemy....save rubles on parachutes....make it happen comrade!
SomewhatAsian
Tovarisch, we have more MEN than they have more TANKS! We will surely win this!
Poopoopeepeevagina
You see Ivan. If hide on top of plane, nazi nazi us coming.
DaneBrass
My lunch just came out of my nose as I read that.
oforce21o
yeah well my dinner just came out of my eyes as i read that
MatVayu
You might want to get that checked out... as soon as you're able to read this, of course
Veckzis
My breakfast just came out of my butt as I read that. No, wait, that's just poop. I'm pooping. Yup.
skch
because пошел на хуй, that's why!!!
TechnicallyRight
Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau!
idiotcube
Play of the Game: TECHNICALLYRIGHT as Hanzo
DoktorLurker
Da. Is true, comrade. Is true. Vodka make Ivan do terrible things.
757Spike
The Soviets always seem to invent things out of order
BladesTonight
Step 1- Jump out of plane.
Threewisemen
The first guy jumping doing the forward flip....
zma123456
"Let's put them outside the plane. You see we are Russians, things here we do opposite"
sunnytater1
That's a really good way to put it
TylerTax
The russians are just a manly society usa was like that too but.....
matteyothecrazy
Most efficient rocket engines in the 70s, still not obsolete today, but used steel to make the tanks... I'm inclined to agreeing with you
Dopplerfart
And insanely huge
accujimmy
Yeah well your papers are out of order!
jdlsharkman
They were actually the first in the world to invent paratroopers. These guys had parachutes, but no designated plane for parachuting.
EdgarAllenshrimpPoeboy
exactly, they invented paratroopers before they invented a plane to carry paratroopers
yuzzlightbeer
Alright jumping off a plane is good! Now we need to invent way to not die when we jump off planes...paratroopers need...parachutes?
NoSenatorYourOutOfOrder
Nah just have them land in the snow.
ticktockbent
And then maybe a plane specifically for paratroop? Maybe troop transport?
drunkill
Like spaceflight?
LetumComplexo
For space flight they invented really really good engines (their huge titanium deposits helped) but had no good way to guide them or
LetumComplexo
Stabilize their fuel source long enough to not blow up 20% of the time.
LizardEnterprises
1/? Actually yes. In order to save weight the Vostok spacecraft had no controls, or landing system - it could ONLY be controlled from the
LizardEnterprises
2/? ground, the 'pilot' was a glorified passenger, and he had to eject before the ship crashed into the ground. So yes. They invented manned
LizardEnterprises
3/3 spaceflight before they invented controls for a spaceship, or a landing system. That sounds out of order to me.
BrownskinOriental
You mean those forward sweeping wings on the SU-47 was a bad idea? Yes they are, yes they are.
bootymen
So? Even back swept wings and delta wings have flaws, welcome to aviation
Riveter27
I mean, they work pretty well until you try to yaw. It's not like rudders ever actually get used, right?
BlackInkOutlaw
Tragic that parachutes wernt invented till three years later for them
golf153
Laughed so hard for like 3 minutes. Well done!
chettlar
Ken M?
Keydan
Soviets were one of the first to have paratroopers, before most other countries,to this day Russia has one of the larges paratrooper armies.
BlackInkOutlaw
I was making a joke in jest of the comment prior being the indication of thing being invented out of order.
Keydan
I got that. But 140 characters is 140 character! :D
TheUnsolicitedDuckPic
Source: Red Dawn
CaptainToast
It covers a ninth of the earth's surface and has like eight time zones. Paratroopers are probably a wise choice.
owlest
they didnt have parachutes?
ThatOneGifOfJerryFuckingTomInTheAssIsMySpiritSlave
Pretty sure they do
erant
...
missbelled
They held out their jackets like gliding squirrels.
brandsilven
The "para" part of "paratrooper" stands for "paralyzed" in this case.
rubbarz
Nope. All the men that jumped are dead. You just saw the last moment they were alive. Have a nice day.
phearme
I've heard Soviets once tried jumping without parachutes by flying low & slow. The results weren't that good.
PinPointSnarkuracy
Like great British Understatement... *flames, explosions, blood curdling screams* "It's not gone well..."
tevyethemad
The idea was to land in snow drifts... No bueno.
IntergalacticCinematic
"No no no me gusto" - private Vladimir