wafflesdidit
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451
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This is oddly reminiscent of weekend at Bernie’s
Jul 7, 2026 6:35 PM
wafflesdidit
22192
451
12
This is oddly reminiscent of weekend at Bernie’s
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Experimental medicine to keep him crawling to votes they need.
TrilithonStone
It's a secret that we will never see turtle-man again... let's all sigh a collective "oh well".
Resistance1000
UnattendedDeviant
Maybe about the next high level Repub she could hook up with to ensure China businesses have a high level insider looking out for them.
chillstepx
He will rise again as Lich McDonnell, the undead politician.
Blackfinity
an0therthr0waway
Maybe she was afraid that ICE would deport her if anchor hubby was no longer able to protect her. ( /s ? )
Renza0
this evil fuckin turtle is dead and somehow still obstructing the government by preventing his own replacement election.
DasBeaker
Schrodinger’s McConnell.
Jamnew60
Whoa, I knew McConnell was Moscow Mitch after he sold out to Putin, but little did I suspect he was selling out to the CCP too. Apparently his treason hasn’t any ceilings.
TrilithonStone
Remember that one time right after Jan 6th when he said it was Trump's doing?
Resistance1000
How many boxes of files did she take with her?
Voojagig
He's hiding his phylactery in China?
CallMeMcGyver
Probably to work out some deal for her and her family now that she's no longer as valuable to China...
TiaBarracini
I spoke with my dear friend Mitch McConnell this morning as he continues his recovery. We talked for nearly 20 minutes about Graham Platner, low gas prices, and Greenland. I told him Washington needs him back soon. He responded with the same silence he used to kill voting rights.
Pseudobatrachotoxin
When it’s found McConnell has been brain dead and Thune and the other twits who said they talked substantively during said time with him, how soon do you think they’ll have public apologies and resignations to submit for attempting to undermine and subvert our democracy? Or any repercussions at all?
ItsACrazyWorld
Its easy. She has always been a agent for China. This isnt anything new. People have questioned their relationship for decades. As they are rarely seen together. Also it makes sense considering that mitch has made the US weaker for a long time that has only benefitted china more.
sondraskunk
Looks like China will need to give his wife a new assignment.
Ack210
She'll be back on August 4th to sign the paperwork removing him from life support.
Snooj
14Th
AgamemnonsMemes
Found unresponsive means he got CPR, even assuming someone trained to do that did it, the survival of pre-hospital CPR is like 2%. Not to mention they probably shattered every bone in his chest. So he's probably also intubated. He's also over 80, and being over 80 and having ANY of that happen to you is a death sentence, but also the chance a 80+ year old ever wakes up after being intubated is basically zero.
Munchman347
Xi is demanding to know why his agent isn't doing what he ordered...
duktayp
If your SO ever has a debilitating health episode, your first thought should be "get my ass to China ASAP" https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-news/mitch-mcconnell-wifes-strange-move-after-cpr-raises-eyebrows-so-when-you-have-a-person-who-101783422095443.html
ElbowDeepInUserSub
So she was a CCP handler.
michaelfire
Chao- his immigrant wife- her father had a shipping company doing business with Chinese government- funneled $millions to McConnell. Totally corrupt. (paywall) https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/mitch-mcconnell-man-who-880799/">https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/mitch-mcconnell-ma">-sold-am">-880799/">https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/mitch-mcconnell-man-who-sold-america-880799/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/michelatindera/2021/09/02/how-much-is-senator-mitch-mcconnell-worth/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/06/02/mitch-mcconnell-got-rich-old-fashioned-way/
Rastifan
This is paint drying on a wall. Much more interesting and engaging.
wafflesdidit
This is just a photo of Mitch McConnell
ActionJohnnie
I won’t celebrate when the paint is dry
Blackfinity
Except that by hiding his demise they're attempting to cheat and rig the elections...
Johnsky
Gotta meet with your handler so your bosses can make the decision for you.
mmoser35731415
Yep and I bet she takes Mitch's seat until the next election.
JennyLawless
Ooooooooo, burn
75townecoupe
Recalled to China for failing to keep the evil demon bound to the prison flesh of the turtle sacrifice.
ziph3326
Was she a Chinese sleeper agent all this time?
quade
What's the deadline by which they can't hold a special election anymore if he were to die? Because I bet that's the day before his death is announced.
idiotsonfire
Three months out.
navyjeff
90 days before election day.
davebarton315101
August 2 I think
TuscanyMan
I read somewhere it should be 3rd August
stryhf
Yes, if the special election is within 3 months of the regularly scheduled election it can be cancelled. This is one of the theories as to why his wife left 3 days after he was hospitalized. The next of kin would need to be involved in declaring him effectively dead if he was being maintained by life support.
BlueDsc
That's quite a while to be playing Weekend at Bernie's with him.
MadamPuddifoot
He's got the best Healthcare our taxes can buy. They'll keep him alive till then.
coffeeandprozac
Not if he's kept alive by a machine. His wife can claim she was waiting for a miracle, as she can tell them to unplug him at any time from anywhere in the world (don't have to be present in the room - it's just that most people give a shit and want to be present to say goodbye).
ignotoCiResto
naa, just spin a story that he need absolute rest because "he barely survived a stroke" but "the doctors are sure he will get back on his feet in a couple of months" and you are golden
RetrogradeLlama
She’s probably arranging to donate Mitch’s corpse to the Chinese labs so that they can study the true essence of evil.
FckleberryFarms
They have organ harvesting concentration camps, they don't need foreign studies.
Spoenk
With all that ICE stuff going around.. she might be self deporting.
LunarEntropy
They want to dine on turtle soup.
wafflesdidit
Hahahahahah
LeighCosmosVillain
There’s some political reason I don’t understand. Something like her being unreachable means they can’t pull the plug and as long as he’s not dead, he still has his seat. It’s too politically tricky a time for them to risk an emergency election. if they lose one seat they can’t protect Trump and themselves.
Haemaelaeinen
No, they will grind it into a medicine. Medicine for what, no one knows.
MyGreatestFearBoner
Karl Rove's family would like a word.
marsilies
Don't they know how dangerous handling Evil can be?
Lampmonster
Such a crazy ending to that movie.
MinimumContributor
What movie?
marsilies
Time Bandits
BlindGardener
China’s medical system is better than the American one, though not as good as France and Italy who have the top two medical systems in the world.
BlindGardener
China’s medical system is pretty solid ‘middle third of world’s 50 richest countries’. The USA’s is ‘dead last of the world’s 50 richest countries in the world’.
Keep in mind that India is on the list of 50 richest countries in the world.
Ghlargh
The US has among the best health care in the world for people who can pay for it.
CarlBassett
Yep, the US has fantastic healthcare. If you are a billionaire. For the average population, not so much.....
BlindGardener
Even if you can pay for it, the Food And Drug Administration has been subject to so much regularity capture that a US drug company can just sell you candied heroin and claim it’s non-addictive.
BlindGardener
No. The US does not. That’s propaganda that being a billionaire is enough to get you good care in the USA. The fact of the matter is that the billionaires in the know? Go elsewhere for their health care where medicine is regulated by a government who doesn’t like drug companies crippling people for life.
Ghlargh
How is it propaganda to say that the vast majority of people don't get proper health care but the 1% does because they have money?
BlindGardener
Because that ignores the effects that the Drug Industry has had undermining the FDA and putting people like RFK in charge?
BlindGardener
Because of the billionaires and their bad choices, the USA is quickly becoming unlivable even FOR billionaires.