peekitty
28965
690
25
I literally hurt myself laughing at this, so I had to caption and share it with you fine folks.
Feb 22, 2026 8:24 PM
peekitty
28965
690
25
I literally hurt myself laughing at this, so I had to caption and share it with you fine folks.
johnvilnis
No, that’s not how it works.
HCBailly
Jackpot7777777
The right wing doesn’t believe Trump is a pedophile. But there has to be a pedophile Trump for you not to believe in.
LicensedAdHominem
A solid portion of the right wing knows Trump is a pedophile and likes it. He's not the first, and they regularly vote for pedo policies.
AzgarOgly
That is not how logic works, but ok.
nintendolunchbox
Why do tools like him have to double down on their ignorance ?
bubblechaser
because it's Tool Time™!
Sebastopol140
RigidGristle
Coke head/dealer & narc
Baron29
Snitches get stitches, Tim
jkwgn
People who don't believe in ghosts also don't see ghosts
ThailandExpress
Vortexhelios320
JinxRocks
It’s funny watching Home Improvement again… and seeing how Tim Taylor the character, often guided by Wilson, was more morally decent in the end than Tim Allen is in real life. It’s like his Shitty Shatner moment (Shatner denying ST was what they say is woke today).
jojosburritoadvantages
Lmao Perfect!
OozingRabbit
There literally, can not be a better comment than this. +1
thatwastooclose
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Zzh6bmhxYm1meXlrMzI3cTBuODIycDdzZGx1N3Y4OGMybTY1ZDZqYyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/iKpNzM8vwdWSx3zcu6/200w.webp
CrisprCAS
onlyhalfghost
Vathz
Feels like a watered down rehash of St Anselm's ontological argument. It failed to convince people a thousand years ago, it's probably not going to fare much better today.
TheseAreNotTheVotesYouAreLookingFor
ReallyOG
cyclone0619
In his confusion my head hurts. https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1b3V3djMzN3piaDJhZ2IzOWlkaTZ2OTFxMDc0YzVvdHR5NGlucGM4cCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/o84bb0mzkOEtSNS1GH/200w.webp
ToSisPoS
Does he want to get dumped from his Toy Story cash cow?
“Buzz you sound different!”
“I just cleaned out my voice box!”
“Oh, that’s a reasonable explanation.”
RamanBiot
Tim the tool, man.
veronicablood
just think, the eternal battle of good and evil is best expressed by a 10 minute long guitar solo by Steve Vai.
TexMexHex
MotherEffinSatan
Slick words from a coke addled rapist. Jim Jeffries tells a story about how Tim Allen was headlining a show in Canada, in Jim was like his opener. After the show, Tim and Jim bring a couple girls to their room, and Tim proceeds to try to force himself on the girls multiple times, until finally Jim rips him off and Tim says "You'll never work in this town again."
mrsdowneyjr
It took multiple times before he said stop?
SackTheRipper
Didn't realize Jim said who the rapey guy was in the coke wank story.
IIikethecutofyourjib
Dude I love Jim Jeffries
hiyo365
Wowza, what a POS! What year-ish did this happen?
MotherEffinSatan
https://youtu.be/4YJbvHpTzFA?t=2439
DWandRFaremyspiritbeings
He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
But definitely *a* tool.
RaginCanadjun
Tools are useful. He's about as useful as a fork in a bowl of broth.
nemocares
So... does he believe in the existence of an evil entity far more powerful than the god he prays to, who regularly moves the souls of devout Christians from heaven to deepest pits of hell to boil in excrement for all eternity with there being nothing the trinity can do to stop it?
SleepyHollowAppleTree
I bet he did coke off the same toilet seats.
TK421isAFK
Well, he was busted carrying 3kg, and ratted out his partners. Tim got two years in prison, the rest got decades, and all died in jail.
Fargus57
He and Kevin Sorbo shared a stall.
SleepyHollowAppleTree
And RFK jr was supplying the coke.
ialoneambest
Which he stepped on HARD.
oldguyexlurker
I'm an agnostic and an apathetic. I don't KNOW if a god exists and I don't CARE if a god exists. (If one does, it is quite apparent that IT doesn't care if WE exist, so why should I fuckin' bother.) What's the line scratched into the wall in the Mauthausen concentration camp? Oh yeah, "If there is a god, he must ask me forgiveness." My atheistic streak comes from looking at MANY religions and finding they are ALL based on a few exploiting the fearful many for resources. Nothing else.
GallusTadius
I believe in the Christian God even though it goes against all rational thought, but I was in Rome last week. When I was there, I visited the Vatican in the early morning, 0700. (I'm not catholic, I'm not THAT irrational). It's probably the greatest work of architecture in the world, but what stuck me was the homeless people huddled in the cold just outside St Peter's square. If there is a God, I don't think he's much impressed with the church.
CookieMonstersCrumbs
If a god exists, that piece of shit has a lot to answer for.
WickedSludge
For me, all I have to do is look at the level of evil "God" allows to exist in the world to know that God either doesn't exist, or he's a sadistic piece of shit.
kbryant414
The quote that best encompasses my feelings: "Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones." - not Marcus Aurelius
CeruleanK
I just say atheist now to cut through all the "but you gotta have an opinion" shit. Because all people really want to know is whether you believe in the specific god character of their religion. The probability that some intelligent entity created everything is unguessable, but the probability that it resembles any of the stories humans have imagined is zero.
cousteau
Hell, if there is a god and it granted us the ability to think for ourselves, it probably doesn't WANT us to believe in it.
eromitlab
I always remember the saying "religion is regarded by the masses as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." I forget who said it, but it rings true.
Donaldbain
So he didn't just sell drugs.
Mozyzgiraffe
It’s not drugs that makes someone this stupid. It’s “faith”.
Mithi
He also sold his business partners IIRC
BurningVeryImportantThings
https://imgur.com/sKrUyib sold out some other drug dealers.
shitheadtookmyname
Honestly good for us. Removed more dealers from society.
whatspaulplayingtoday
Technically the same thing!
AzgarOgly
Well, at least he did something good.
horseman05
ActuallyAPirate
The bar is already pretty low. But that might be the dumbest thing I've heard him say
jeejeejerrycotton
ToolPackinMama
69Voltage
I don’t believe in vampires, Santa Claus, etc. Does that mean there are such things?
EroticZombiePants
Yes, there is because he played Santa Claus in some movies.
spontaneous9
Same goes for Santa Clause.
Checkmate, theists.
Quixus
Well Nicholas of Myra's existence is well documented.
cousteau
And Superman, and reptilians, and…
VonSnootingham
I mean, he's right there in the picture.
yeahhedugit
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MnJsdmtmbGV5ODQ2MDQ2ZWhhMHZ3eXZvdnZ5Y29ocHhsbm1sYmtsYSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/8JrcyXvpOaFbFIatkm/200w.webp
bippityboppitybuttsex
This is the argument of a stupid person.
expertLevelProcrastinator
q.e.d.
JemIsTrulyOutrageous
He did fry his brain with coke so...
unluckyandbored
That tracks, because Tim Allen is stupid.
mothmam
He’s also a fucking narc
ThrowAwayAcct0000
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that actor was a drug dealer before he became famous.
bippityboppitybuttsex
Yep... he got caught and ratted out all of his friends to avoid accountability.
eromitlab
By the stupid, for the stupid, to remain stupid
azgrak1
He’s hard core MAGA, so yeah that tracks.
CraftyGiant
His autobiography is called "don't stand to close to a naked man" so that tracks.
pyrotronicalex
Are you kidding? This ultimately proves that flying spaghetti monster is real! He can't not believe in it now
Rosferatu
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dzhoNWhpMTgwYm51aG5zcTV2YTNvazl1a2U0bDV4enA0djR4cTF5ZiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/10fe0OA9YbyAcE/200w.webp I for one welcome our spaghetti overlords.
bambulina
Well that's a coincidence, Tim Allen is one of those. Also your username is hilarious.
KingdomsCrown
His argument is to the same tune as Charlie Kirk saying "nobody truly feels empathy, instead we should feel SYMPATHY" like its some 1000 IQ philosophy
Kc0125
Or my boomer parents
UnderAtlas
Onlyhereforthelaughs
*Tim Allen noise*
ReverseSyzygy
I assume that's **snorting a mountain of cocaine**
RatsLiveOnNoEvilStar
Which is famously a gorilla grunt
cousteau
This is what a stupid person THINKS is an argument.
choppedliveraldente
Actually he's probably in na or aa. It's required to believe in God to take the twelve steps. This is why thats toxic.
Toqom
In reality it is toxic and it's meant as a church recruiting method. I went to AA and thought I didn't have issues like these folk did, caused me to feel good about drinking. I am almost 5 years sober but AA was not a help for me, I got tired of the hangovers.
choppedliveraldente
Blessed be thy spew. For it be thy change bringer.
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
It's not required to believe in a god for aa, na, or ca
The step is to give in to a power greater than yourself. Could be the water mitigation suicidal self dimming lights on tax rebate. Doesn't fucking matter. The point is to get over yourself and do good in the world for yourself and others
choppedliveraldente
So it could be the local HOA?
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
I'm the vice president of my HOA and I do my best to stay out of people's business and leave them be. My unpaid service is to make sure residents have heat, running water, garbage disposal not overflowing, fences on the outside of the property are secure etc
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
Yes, it could be the local HOA to answer the question you asked. My personal higher power was/is the company. Recognizing that changed the dynamic in how I view the world for better or worse. That's my staging ground in making changes in my life