CannotRememberMyLongUsername
113294
2021
60
My brother is one of my family members that's always been supportive and has driven me to pride parades since I was 16, well before gay marriage was legal in New York. (I'm now in my early 30s.
His kids are 3 and 4 years old, they can't defend themselves. In January he and his wife were expecting and at 32 weeks they found out at a normal appointment that there was no heartbeat and had a stillbirth. They will never fully heal from the grief they feel and I completely understand that the idea of mass shootings or loosing someone else weighs on them heavily.
He has supported me all of my days and will continue to do so.
I didn't realize straight people didn't realize queer people know from before the time we come out that being who we are could result in targeted violence yet will still come out.
If you are still in the closet, stay safe and whenever you do come out the community will welcome you with open arms.
If you are bi or pan you are valid.
Rainbowdaesh
Not bringing children to a potential terrorist attack because one of the two major political parties are encouraging terrorist attacks against LGBTQ events is completely valid. That said I hope you and your brother are safe and have fun.
jdregius92
I adore that your relationship with your brother seems so open and supportive. As well as being cool with acknowledging gaps in of your own knowledge. It's something that so many people are bad at. Have a fuckin awesome pride
PetrifiedTrees
You have a supportive brother! So happy for you. Big hugs.
parabola949
Thank you so much for that last comment. My groups of friends (go figure) are either all straight or all gay, maybe a little mixover, but I never fully fit into the groups. With my straight friends it's "oh you sleep with guys?" and with my gay friends "oh you sleep with girls?" Always feel a bit outcast. Your comment just made my day, thank you so much
MeasuredByFive
I walked Chicago Pride 2009.
Senguie
I bought a pride pin for my battlevest, I’m not part of the LGBTQ+ community. But I’m a big dude. And I hope that they feel more safe if I’m around. I got friends I want to support and everything. The world is scary. I’m kinda scared that harm would befall me. And my parents are scared that it will attract violence toward me. But I feel it is a small thing to do.
ajthebear20
It’s always a jarring and sad moment to realize how much supportive family still don’t “understand”. My husbands aunt literally broke down crying when we made a joke about the first time we ever showed any affection in public someone threw a glass bottle at us and screamed “f*****s burn in hell”. She couldn’t handle it….but to us in the south, it’s the “your a real gay man now” once you have been called that word by someone in a moving vehicle.
IWasGoingToMakeEspresso
My friend ended up with a broken arm when someone threw a bottle at him from a moving car. This happened in Austin, Texas.
pettingmycatwhileipoo
The first year my brother came out and we marched we had a blast. I bought a tshirt to support him and I never met so many nice people that wanted their picture taken with me :}
Animorphs
Yeah, staying ‘normal’ to avoid potential violence falling on loved ones (spouse/children/yourself) can happen.
mythsnlore
Bravery isn't when you aren't afraid, it's when you face fear. Stay strong OP!
jetact12
My kid and his partner always walk in the parade. I have always felt that sex/gender are a spectrum and I'm on it! Pronouns !/? Mom.
mikeatike
PacoTheMeatManager
Your brother is a great person. Stay safe and stay strong
industrylife
Not gay but supportive.
kitamuramiike
As a pansexual, I appreciate the shout out! Stay safe and Happy Pride!
strugglesnuggler
I wouldn't walk in the parade, but that's less due to threat of violence and far more threat of exercise... also too many people... and that it's during the daylight hours typically. But if anyone wants to march ominously in silence at night while being a member of el jibbity count me in.
CharlieandOliver
I will NOT be marching in any pride parade!!! However I’m happy to join any pride-sit-in-the-park-with-some-iced-tea. My knees suck
CannotRememberMyLongUsername
That's the pride festival that comes after the parade.
manderbruin
“If you are bi or pan you are valid.” Thank you. I have struggled with feeling like if I belong in Pride because I am married to a man but do identify as bisexual.
yourfriendlyneighbourhoodtzimisce
If you're not cishet, you're part of the queer community, and you belong at Pride (cishet people who are steady in their allyship also belong at Pride). 'Not queer enough' is a false attack fueled by ignorance on the straight/cis side & trauma on the queer side. Being stealth or 'straight-passing' doesn't diminish your queerness.
ScienceChub
"Not queer enough" is exactly how it feels. Our queer social circle often treat us as, or even call us, the token heteros even though my husband is bi and I am pan and they all know it. Doesn't feel very good, honestly.
manderbruin
🥲
FishHiggins
Your brother sounds great. All family (and friends) should be like that. Shit, I’ve even heard parents kicking their 16 year old kids out, on the say so of a partner.. ffs🤬
FishHiggins
New husband maybe.. even so…
drivergrrl
How about if you're Ace? Are we valid?
mikeatike
Ace Hardware
CannotRememberMyLongUsername
Very valid.
TheDaharMaster
Another Ace in the wild! Heya!
arewenotkingsandqueenstogether
Always walked in safe, popular, corporate prides in CA. Then did one in Florida - we had one lane & people were speeding past inches away screaming and throwing shit.
tacoperrito
That’s cool your brother is so supportive. Sad that we live in a world where people are afraid someone might shoot a young child during a celebration. Hope you have an amazing parade
iLikeRainyDays
Sad that you live in a country*
jimbobular
*country
6313326
My husband, my eldest, & I went to a Pixies show at a venue at the DC waterfront last night (where there's also a bunch of Pride stuff going on). Our middle kid, a trans teen (so he can make this joke) was like, "Have fun! Don't die in a mass shooting!" It's like it's just become a quiet little part of the calculation of going to anything that might be targeted by crazy extremists.
stevelepastis
Debaser!
lorilith
It's sad that some young children are afraid that they will be abused or killed for even asking their family for that same support
pareidoliaperson
It's about freedom of opinion!/s
aloharamada
"Both sides!"
scoutMoonDiver
klean9
Went to an outdoor pride lecture at our local library. I’m cis but I kept an eye on the street and the church steeple across the street the entire time
Bugeisha
That last sentence made me tear up. I needed to hear it. Thank you.
ScienceChub
Same. Especially after such an important and emotional story. Sucker punched me right in the gut.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
My work walked in a local pride parade this year. Still don't think it makes up for the $500,000 they donated to anti-lgbt politicians in the last year, though.
TheDaharMaster
Straight dude here I’ll walk w y’all!
Dankking
I’m scared of any large event with big groups of people.
mrsdowneyjr
This is the entire point of the parade. The story of the first one, the fear, the doubt, the isolation. It's one of the bravest moments with one of the biggest successes.
HeraldOfTheBadger
I skipped last year's pride cuz of mass shooting fears. I also skip movie theaters all together now