SchrodingerMil
544043
13816
1276
Carrots are better than cum shots...
I'm leaving for Basic Training.
Feb 6, 2017 1:40 PM
SchrodingerMil
544043
13816
1276
I'm leaving for Basic Training.
Lassannn
Thank you for service.
cogs
You know Glorious exempts you from Basic Training, right? Also, Sergeants have to get you coffee and shit. Just tell them you're from Imgur.
Snootlebooper
At least anyone dumb enough to follow this won't have a chance to repopulate..
netterzkastle
Food porn if I ever saw it
partsground
Vegan's be like...
gnarphza
Fruitarians be like: "Murderers!!!!!" *cries*
MrDressup
It's a monkey on your back - once you hit glorious you need to go for the medals. Always chasing the next high.
GreenYawgmoth
I got the green one, what more can I hope to achieve?
SendMePicturesOfYourPuppies
TheVainyKnight
arkemiffo
Good luck. I'm just 390 points away now. I'll see if I can piggy back on your blatant pointbegging. :P
sangatster
389. You're welcome.
Bl00dyCorpse
MCDofficial
kidwest84
What MOS?
Irax
It's a French ad for a supermarket, if that's your question
kidwest84
Military occupation specialty. But that's good to know to!
SchrodingerMil
Joined the Air Force, at the time I was Open but I got assigned Crew Chief
IllustriousUser
This is awkward
ILIKETurtlesAndTrains
I leave for Navy basic on the 21st
jackdouglass
You rang?
ButtsandBewbs
If I ever see you again in the next 3 months, all of your shit gets downvoted to hell
SchrodingerMil
Looked back at old posts. I didn’t, are you proud of me dad?
ButtsandBewbs
I am proud of you, son.
SchrodingerMil
Yay
UemaDD
Carrot-kake
SzabolcsDenes
Cake*
jackdouglass
you rang?
Skawomplious
Take your upvote and GTFO
thinbluel1n3
Carrot bucakey
HauntedSpit
Oh, so close! I'll upvote anyway cause I lold.
10footsnakesdonthave10feet
Carrake?
TheNewestTubeGuy
Kara-TAY
AngelOfPassion
At the local Y?
freeloaderr
aww, even I tried something along these lines before I saw your comment :(
PlasticGuitar69
Kakacarrotcake
itsimpossibletofindausernamethatisnttaken
Defeating a sandwich only makes it tastier
KeyMasher
I am super sand lesbian!
or0kuSaki
This needed one black guy in there shaving a cucumber.
YpoCohlo
Or an eggplant ?
YpoCohlo
Well, there is always black radish too, of course.
witheredspoon
how's your photoshop?
KeggOBeer
Or a zucchini.
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Do tell me you meant peeling....
or0kuSaki
If you're a real man, you use a knife and shave the skin off. Peelers are for women.
or0kuSaki
**Sorry ladies, my bad please allow me to edit** Peelers are for children.
CpaoV
shaving is more intense..
usernametakenisthestoryofmylife
Shaving means you have a hairy cucumber...
CpaoV
maybe... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
MaxxRocker
CitrusTsunami
I WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE NOW
FrabjousCloak
geddyleesmullet
Sizzlord
.
LanReady
Ya know, without any context this looks like he's closing the bathroom stall door.
Gradwin
YoOmarsComin
,
Turbz
Oooooh in comes Gradwin with the one-upper!!
StunnedGoofy
Larrimus1
What episode is this from?
Turbz
7
twohearteddoctor
Something to do with lemongrabs castle i think
shininghero
It's this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJtc42B58KI
ikealjordan
Rootkake
DeadOP
Remember in basic to run towards your Drill as fast as you can screaming, they especially like it if you run up from behind
thingsgobackwards
Remember, try not to keep illegally invading other countries.
Morrigi
It's not like it just HAPPENS. Ultimately, it's a civilian who gives the order to do that.
thingsgobackwards
True enough, but the incredible economic stake that the military and its contractors have in our foreign policy hardly makes them innocent.
kittykatiri
Hey!!!
PushyLips
Don't let this be you in basic.
VenerateThisGuy
Too late.
KeggOBeer
A joke mainly only the vets will get: He said "basic training", not boot camp...
gnarphza
... unless, of course, you go in for that kind of thing. :P
yuyufan43
If they were in How To Basics, it would be raw eggs being thrown. This seems a little better
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
*blander
ArenaMissionBilly
Keep your head straight and don't stand out. Volunteer only if you're 100% proficient in the task they ask of your platoon. Stay motivated!
Pwningpikachu
Good luck. You'll need it.
aGayerGamer
That was my dream in basic training. Then all we did was push-ups march and shoot things.
SchrodingerMil
I think everyone involved would be in trouble
tomyironmane
Whose Basic?
McFrizzle
It builds morale and unit cohesion duh
GrosslyIncandecent
Gross, sticky cohesion indeed.
McFrizzle
Only the best type of cohesion
JustSayingYouHaventSeenMeAndBatmanInTheSameRoomBefore
You would be surprised the kind of fuckery that happens in basic that never results in any kind of official disciplinary action.
JustSayingYouHaventSeenMeAndBatmanInTheSameRoomBefore
Keep dreamin. Oh the kinds of shit that went down in basic that was chargeable under the UCMJ.
yeeyeeallday
Your thinking is wrong, welcome to the military.
SexDungeonsandDragons
You can only be sent to NJP if you get caught!
BruisedBananaa
Which branch?
Bystandr
Watch 'how to basic' : much lol, many wierd.
VigorousButtstuff
If you're in basic, then it's your turn in the barrel.
Demostheneses
Its going to be you in basic
Bungulus
Parris Island?
MarzipanPoison
You would be amazed what people get away with there.
ForOurNation
Hahaha oh man, good luck buddy. Just hide in the middle of the pack. Head down and do what your told. But this will be you at some point.
canttouchthism8
Not if you have boot bands on
tomyironmane
You gotta EARN boot bands.
ninjato229
Not in the Navy!
cookiesnatcha
Just wait for your tech school. There'll be plenty of this
thepasswordisbutts
(ಠ ͜ʖಠ)
brianclementsvatua
Finally a bukkake that's good for the eyes.
10footsnakesdonthave10feet
GerhardRammelhausen
I don't know, those knifes are pretty close to her head.
brianclementsvatua
Those are peelers.
GerhardRammelhausen
look closer
brianclementsvatua
Still peelers. Google them. They come in those shapes.
GerhardRammelhausen
look even closer.
castlemacaw
I thought those were hotdogs
isaiahdaplaya
Carrots are good for the eyes is a WWII propaganda gig done by the British to cover up the fact that they invented radar. They liiiieeeed
ThomasMG
aquamenti
Did you have to be that guy? You're right, but in QI they said that carrots were ironically later actually found to be good for the eyes.
isaiahdaplaya
XD Sorry I really like spreading my uselessly cool facts. Just like Humpty dumpty was a cannon, not an egg
brianclementsvatua
So did people switch to bukkake after they discovered it was a lie?
Novantico
/r/BadHistory
dadanedude
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cp_wxAqVYAAqIGg.jpg
snotcaulk
He missed the eyes, though.
Turbz
TIL
Torrello
One of my favourite fact
chamipon
Yep, if I recall correctly the Germans were eating a shit ton of carrots for a while to catch up
ZOMGNO
Haha, yeah true, but they do genuinely contain Vitamin A and other things that are good for the eyes :p Better than jizz!
VashTheStapmede
Better than jizz? Not when shot at your eyes they're not
magphoenix
Nothing is better than jizz
baronramsey
Want some of my jizz?
isaiahdaplaya
LOL yeah but still it's a myth as they framed it before. Also Humpty Dumpty was a cannon, not an egg. If you want I can explain
InfiniteSynapse
'splain
isaiahdaplaya
Alright so, the short version is there was a sort of rebellion in europe and the rebels made a weapon-a cannon-that was huuuge and (1/idk)
SamaelTheVenomOfGod
I love how surprised everyone is when you mention that the rhyme never calls him an egg.
isaiahdaplaya
I was pretty surprised when i first realized. Its mind blowing
freeloaderr
vegankake!
jake96
Did they peel off some of the pixels?
SchrodingerMil
I'm posting a gif from mobile cut me some slack
blueknot
Vegan porn?
TerriblePokemon
Keep your head down, volunteer for jobs that get ypu away from your unit and hope to god you don't have a super high asvab
elSturdivante
Good advice.
elSturdivante
And my advice for you OP... be the artist recruit ????
Rogerdogerdangerduck
99 asvab went from 03xx to 26xx field. "Needs of the Marine Corps BS"
elSturdivante
But now I'm a graphic artist for the corps, so you can take my advice or not lol it has its ups and downs
SchrodingerMil
I had a super high asvab
spiderqueendemon
Aw. I am jealous. Had a 99 ASVAB, tried to enlist, and got turned down for medical reasons. Then turned down again from ROTC in college.
spiderqueendemon
It would have been nice to serve, but four of my fosters now work as therapy dogs (and one cat,) for vets, so...close enough?
TekPriest1975
Ditto, could have gone M.I. instead I said fuck it and became a tanker.
KeggOBeer
Don't listen to these guys. I had a 99 asvab and they didn't reassign me anywhere because I was good at infantry too. You'll be fine.
pmmeyourfantasynovels
I love being in MI. I suggest all source analyst if you can get it.
TerriblePokemon
Military intelligence, it's what we do not who we are.
Eammeny
And don't turn into an asshole. Please try to hold on to who you were before. Just more skilled and badass... k?
bradday02
Eh. Had a 99 ASVAB. Volunteered to go Infantry or said I was going to college. Ended up getting blown up but have been retired for 10 years
TerriblePokemon
Went in with a 97. By drill instructor determined I was "destined for greatness" and made me the admin bitch
Ytsurt
I scored a 31. I had to pick between infantry and tanker. My dumb ass picked infantry best/worst 4 years of my life
bradday02
That about sums it up completely
bradday02
So I guess I have that going for me which is nice
AllYourBaconAndEggs
Why is that bad? What?
TerriblePokemon
By di saw my 97 and determined I was destined for greatness and that letting me skate through without special attention wouldn't happen
Turbz
Too smart for infantry...will go into intelligence or some boring shit.
Morrigi
See, if I was eligible, I'd want to go into intelligence. Lines up a comfy civilian job later down the line.
TimJacobs
SchrodingerMil
WhiteOwlPrivetDr
What branch!?
Carl3llis
Im gonna guess army
SchrodingerMil
It was Air Force
SchrodingerMil
Air Force
VeinyFleshtTrumpet
So marines then?
SchrodingerMil
Air Force, I was told at the time 8 weeks of basic then about a month until first duty station
AssumingDirectControl
Or Army OSUT
Kappa043
MP OSUT lasts around that long. Maybe 4 months, really, but... I mean, we had our phones during personal time when we got to Gold Phase.
KeggOBeer
VeinyFleshtTrumpet
Pipe down harbinger.
AssumingDirectControl
I sense your weakness.
KeggOBeer
Or Navy. Oh yeah, that's also Marines. (Just had to remind them because they love that...)
IDoNotContribute
Best damn Navy in the world
endrsgm
the navy are not marines. they are seamen. pronounced the same as semen. marines are in the Marine Corps. there is a huge difference.
SchrodingerMil
Was looking through my old posts. The marines are a part of the navy.