neighborrino
83823
1543
53
Dec 15, 2017 11:02 AM
neighborrino
83823
1543
53
321Cheers
Ever fry bacon-in the nude?
SudoCatEtcIssue
idea stole from hentai
SugarDnD
You gon end up with burnt tit and burnt breakfast. Know from experience.
blow14me
She won't be able to cook if you're fucking her right STEPHEN!
binky4me
Someone's flipping through Grandpa's old Penthouse forum, "Readers Write" section.
Squossifrage
I don't even like eggs
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
advantages of the smaller titties
rydube
Oh no! The spatter!
LjubljanaJeNajlepseMestoNaSvetu
Treue, true.
3DJutsu
Peh, beginners. Breakfast THEN sex, or sex then breakfast, or sex-food-more sex. But never sex while cooking, THAT'S a recipe for a bad time
Astrosombrero
@michonnedisapproves
michonnedisapproves
titty hit that hot pan
Astrosombrero
No pancake
VillainousFiend
Cooking bacon naked can be a real turn on.
ThrowingSchadenfreude
The invigorating thrill of danger
jc40337
Waffles are better.
gsdluvr
Ahh, a masochist.
BoxerRZ
And a whole lot of tiny little grease burns
DeadlOS
Grab boob first?
EthanForeverAlone
I hate eggs
NewtGinGrinch
The real story behind "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs"
ISeeNippleWithoutLittleKids
Wow
FrozenInCarbonite
TheNerdFonz
BananaForScaIe
You sitting that girl's ass on the stove too?!
NewtGinGrinch
I got counter space for days.
CabooseLuck
They're callin' again...
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratched
You assume my titty size is great enough to get there.
Mosrial
But is it?
nonamejanie
Hahahahaha
FernandoRumdebum
If you're being doggystyled you'll get into it and instinctively lean forward, then BAM! Fire-titty!
StellarJay77
Aserialfeeder
If you ever need a second opinion on estimating that I will do it for free
CptRobotNinja
Ugh. Fine. If youll send me a picture I will judge what danger your titties might be in regarding this activity. A $5 surcharge will be
WalkingWithPythons
CptRobotNinja
Youre just jealous because Ive implemented an innovative new way to leverage income through cursory, layman mammary inspections
DostoevskyDisciple
how i felt when seeing @WalkingWithPythons not able to understand that you were joking...
CptRobotNinja
Applied for this service
Anonymous0199846
Stuff that only sounds good to virgins
Nikolai5
It doesn't sound good to most people I imagine.
ASongOfPissAndFarts
How you like your eggs? Fried or fertilized?
Bootytickler
Lemme smang it girl
ClaudeWicked
You don't have to be a virgin to like ideas that will end up going poorly, tho.
Gremlynn4023
Can we get a whole dump of these? It would be priceless.
kayakninjas
To be fair, "walking in on her cooking in nothing but an apron" is a pretty common fantasy. This sounds like an extension until logistics.
insertsupercoolusernamehere
If I hug my wife from behind and she booty bumps into it she knows what's coming and is asking for it non-verbally. Sometimes bed is too far
insertsupercoolusernamehere
Not like "she was asking for it", that's HOW she asks for it. Just to be clear
callsofnature
You weren't clear enough. The sexual harrasment police are coming *sirens*
RandomImgurian
the sexual harassment police? so... the police?
insertsupercoolusernamehere
No, they are a dedicated group of detectives that deal with especially heinous crimes.
sophronia18101
Hey ive had like 5 sex
StellarJay77
or masochists.
BeRad117
Yeah honestly. Also, nice username.
StellarJay77
thanks.
TheGrinchStoleYourShit
Like shower sex, that's more about trying not slip and break your head open
TheCentralIntelligenceAgency
Oh me being a guy standing in a corner cold as fuck waiting.
Robvp
Shower sex is great if you know what you're doing
StrokeFlavoured
Okay big guy. Tell us. It is slippery in the wrong places, you can't hold on anywhere and sooner or later you have water in your eyes.
LearnSomething
Fuck her from behind, both of you facing away from the shower head. Tilt the shower head up so you bi th get water. Ta dah!
DoYouJeep
Or one person is toasty warm while the other has ice forming on their back
juoji
maybe an italian shower would be kinda more apropriate, no weird shaped floor, more room in it .
Verldemert
Shower sex is the worst.
juoji
anyone got that post of a girl that bought grip especialy for shower sex ?
LearnSomething
Wrong. Shower sex is the best. You're just doing it incorrectly. Face the back of the shower, tilt the shower head up.
auserwithaname
This guy I'm trying to date claims it's incredible
Sendtittypics
"it gets dry when it gets wet, why" - some dude from some show I don't remember.
TheAngryMarineBiologist
nipplepanties
Water ain't a lubricant
Huesh
ASongOfPissAndFarts
You know what's better than shower sex? Shower beer.
Verldemert
Shower wine works too. And when I oversleep - shower coffee.
aesthesia1
It sucks. Water is a terrible lube, washes lube away, and the only lube it doesnt wash away will make you fall if a little gets on the floor
GodOfTheBumbleBees
Shower foreplay though. And shower afterplay.
AlmightyDylon
There's certain things I'm only willing to do after shower foreplay
Impressive44
Butts?
gimlisthebestone
The shower is a great preheat activity, as well as a post cool down necessity.
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
pfft shower sex is the best
MightyChlorians
In movies maybe. In reality, there's not much space to work with and it's a great way to get a UTI.
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
i think you might be overdoing it with the showerhead...
PossiblyJonSnow
Shower sex yes. Bathtub sex no.
sunshinesurr
Grooooosss. By the time you're done moving the water is gone and cold and the lady bits are full of dirty ass bath water
PrincesssButtercup
As someone who's done both and not had a problem with either, why?
cerumen
Jacuzzi sex, yes.
OriginalNameDoNotSteal
Sauna sex, no
SeaTurtleSailingThroughSpace
Found the virgin.
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
found the neckbeard that can't even figure out how to get his dick wet in a shower.
Gremlynn4023
Water is not a lubricant and washes away oils making you feel sexually "dry" as shit.
brasky456
Alavar
Now I know for sure you're a virgin.
TheGrinchStoleYourShit
Jakethesnake357
How does the water make it drier?!?
StrokeFlavoured
Do NOT test if this is true.
cerumen
Body creates natural lubricants, water washes them off. Shower sex actually works best if not directly in the water.
ButteryButtsButterflyCups
the water from the shower washes away naturally produced lubricants from the pussy, making the pussy less wet. some people make more than 1
ButteryButtsButterflyCups
others so it might not be a problem. but if you dont have lub or natural pussy juice it feels rough and you can tear the wall of the pussy
Jakethesnake357
Holyshit you guys, I'm well aware how it works I was just being a smart-ass. Thanks though.
ButteryButtsButterflyCups
lol