angrydragon25
72156
2757
70
Mar 13, 2020 1:08 AM
angrydragon25
72156
2757
70
insongwhang
Hire a crack whore to rim you clean for 5 dollars
godzilladc
I was going to use the outside corner of my house. The brick would really get me clean.
idnasyarrel
I accidentally read it as “toilet paper shortage advantages” for each one
Gwarh71
#4 . Technical term is 'Schooch'
Muunk
Thanks. I hate it.
DevOpsDennis
...do you tho?
DevOpsDennis
Absolutely brilliant
BobHubert
Anyone how #4 looks like the & sign? Simpson’s showed us first
schmonday
Please remember that the virus is confirmed to be spread via feces also. Don't do any of this as a joke or seriously.
schmonday
I feel like this needs to be pointed out for the idiots getting bright ideas right now.
showmanic
Really because I feel like this says more about you than anyone reading
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
I tried all three!
dasoffendor
i once saw a crazy hobo on the El in Chicago rub his buttcrack on the turnstile. Fullerton station. good times.
Arcian
Enemas.
backrideup9
Oh my God, the escalator one.
youngil006
Quality shitpost
BastardMan1977
I laughed way too hard @op. Thank you for that
angrydragon25
Not mine, but sharing some light hearted lack of toilet paper humor
Arandomnicknameappear
the one and only alternative is called BIDET, evolve yourself and get one asap.
DamascusFire
#4 lmfao
Gwarh71
Scooch ma Gooch
TotalSmartAss
TehpenIsmytier
Ok, the escalator received the audible laugh award from me
arkavian
Taylor swifting, nice
Deamon0508
I'll never understand how dry wipe is better than a wash. Especially your bunghole.
Deamon0508
I just found out about Dingleberries too, thank you Urban Dictionary!
funnyaccepted
People better stop eating ass for a while.
NomadUniverse
The odd sock bag. You can wash and reuse as often as you need.
bitchgoblet
I wish to god I still had a bidet. One the top 5 things I miss about living in Japan.
TomatoPepper
#5 be creative in a wall, #6 time to change shower curtain #7 buy more socks #8 good by my red tie punctured
friendsofsandwiches
Fluffy white bunnies?
TheUnstoppableWampas
#9 re-purposed leaf blower, #10 ride a bike with ass on the front tire, #11 capture neighborhood squirrels
Gofuturself
4
recliningpanda
Remember when you all teased us aussies about toilet paper? How’s it feel now? I bet it feels like a poopy butt doesn’t it. Yea.
MrKibbs
I buy everything in bulk... so I was stocked up on butt paper before it was cool
Noappi
Why does #3 look like Boris Johnston??
ineeddihydrogenmonoxide
JamiePittman0000
pwcash
My great grandfather had one in his farm house bathroom when I was about 4 years old.
ironman3010
No way! Anyone elses grandfather have something like simple toiletpaper at their house?
ironman3010
No way, thats crazy! Anyone elses grandfather have something like simple toiletpaper at their house?
ImNotActuallyEvilAfterAll
No way, thats unbelievably crazy! Anyone elses grandfather have something like simple toiletpaper at their house?
donkeystothecastle
Why does the woman have to totally naked?
BreenW
Patriarchy etc
GoAwayOrIWillTauntYouASecondTime
Just go with it.
warslinger
Unlike the others she's civil enough to find an at home option
noschistscirloc
She identifies as Ferengi and that's just part of her culture.
daveroyal9
Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren't you stomping Pvt Pyle's guts out?
kittykat25909
even now...they refuse to use the bidet
HoldOnToYourMutts
Someone on my movie crew didn’t know what a bidet was. Took a shit in it. We had to pay the hotel extra to clean it all up. Americans.
BadgerSims
As a reformed hater, the west has so much to learn in ass cleaning department...
bloodomen
Bidet to you Sir
Mrbrown512
We’re not selling out to big bidet
LateNightBunnyParty
I use one in Oklahoma and know about a dozen other households that do too.
BananaHammock66
Just installed one last week here at home. It was my birthday gift. Excellent timing. TP be damned
TheFirehawk
I have a poor man's bidet. A detachable shower head and a towel, been working well with the fucking TP shortage.
DrunkenCatMan
The Home Depot is fresh out till July :P
NukeItFromOrbitMan
I'll be shopping for one this week
steviedrawsdinos
I've been looking into it.. and let me tell you, the Amazon reviews alone are worth it.
APX1031
Don't you still need something to dry off your wet butt after? Reusing a towel nor moistening my underwear appeal to me.
auztin78
Your whole ass doesn't get soaked. It sprays right at your brown balloon knot. You only need a few squares of toilet paper to dry off.
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
We have a fan that blows heated air to dry. Or if you're in a rush, take a few squares of toilet paper, 1 wipe.
IlDepo
Idk, if only we could hang a rag near the bidet... Or a towel... Maybe not the same we use for the face, tho.
MrPiccolini
Most Americans don't have one or know how to use it. I'm an American who learned & my life was changed.
sherreb
My husband is from Egypt and the day we moved in together was the day my life changed for better. I couldn't live without it now.
sherreb
When I have to go #2 outside the home I feel dirty.
doritobandito84
I too, am one of the few Americans with a bidet. Never going back. The toilet paper savings are simply phenomenal
blubberingbastard
Just ordered mine to reduce the TP need. I'm feelin' fancy
FreeSensibleAdvice
Me too .
mask69venom
We have the Japanese ones at work and they're amazing! It even has a heated vent to dry you off.
FuckingTurtleBear
always wondered about the dampness side of things
Bobbolobb
Is it tentacle shaped?
cornzilla
Yo, best shit I ever took was in the Shanghai World Financial Center. Heated seats, back AND front wash and dry, rotating seat covers, (1)
cornzilla
Lil *pooft* of something that smelled way better than my shit.... I still dream of that toilet. (Fin)
FrenchCoqCroissantOmelette
Best comment I've read all day!
lilshebeastie
Well damn now i want one.
MrJimmyRustles
ElbowDeep
I just use my penis, easy peasy, personal built in bidet that saves water
GingerJam23
Easy pee-sy*
ElbowDeep
Well, I'm gonna steal this
splain
Neat! Delete this immediately.
ElbowDeep
The world must know
Donjablonski
I’m American. I’ve never even seen one before anywhere ever
Dragonfury5
Same and same. I don't fully understand how they work.. there's crouching involved right? What if you have bad knees or back?
DaveTheMurderingHippo
Think of the spray gun on most sinks. Now imagine that attached to the wall next to your toilet. Now scoot forward and use it on your ass.
BadgerSims
The entirely separate setup is unnecessary and alienating. You can just get a bidet toilet seat that attaches to most conventional toilets
GayEnough4U
I've seen them, my plumber has one and swears by it.
arewenotkingsandqueenstogether
I think you can get an attachment for your toilet
matchugegs
You can from Home Depot or Lowe's for under $30
GayEnough4U
Plumbers can pro install them too if you aren't very handy.