RidiculouslyIncompetent
34793
819
15
Guess I'm going to sleep on the couch...
pizza sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLHRjaUBb3o
Jan 3, 2025 6:35 PM
RidiculouslyIncompetent
34793
819
15
Guess I'm going to sleep on the couch...
pizza sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLHRjaUBb3o
Skadoodlle
Why are both those women wearing wigs?
euphoricopportunity
I always make a bad one or two getting it to work with a different setup.
PrettyPrettyPrettyPrettyGood
But it's FOOD though? Right? 😂😂😂
Osiricus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyd51lvu3xw
dixxienormus
That need pineapple and a door bell.
sittingherethinkingthinkingimsittingherelisteningtoyou
RidiculouslyIncompetent
Something like this, except there were more hair on this pizza.
borocanuck
If she swallows, just eat the pizza.
zoltarpanaflex
I leave pizza to the professionals
TheCunningLinguists
chadomancer
I use this recipe and I will never buy a frozen pizza again. Hell, I’ll take this over any chain pizza. https://littlespoonfarm.com/sourdough-pizza-crust-recipe/
bitemark
From the makers of Happy Fun Ball
goflyblind
ThM1ck
When it hit the floor and shattered, that surprised a bark like laugh out of me and it made all the people around me flinch.
Thanks, you're gonna get me shot on this bus.
LordQuorad
Nestle taking notes.
JonathanMugan
If anything it's getting hotter! ... Classic
KPuff
At least she doesn't eat it in circles
RickO3611
Its just like building a house. It starts with crust. That's the foundation. Then the sauce, that's where the flavor starts.. think personality. Then the toppings, this is where you truly let yourself go. Thin cooks faster than thick so thick has a slightly lower temp. You should make a pizza WITH her.. me and my best friend, life partner, have made a lot of pizza. It's an art, not a science
DrunkenMarineBiologist
She asked you to criticize it and you were honest?!
Gayforbae
I bet you also answered realistically when asked if you would love her if she was a worm.
fformulaa
A little colon blow to help it through! /gallery/apwRrvT
HonestCommentFarmer
DocFunkenstein
Left out the bit where it goes full Terminator 2, melts, and then scurries under the refrigerator.
RidiculouslyIncompetent
Yep, due to the imagurs 60 seconds rule. :(
mikeatike
The floor has a 60 second rule too.
piefek101
My wife once made me scrambled eggs when I was sick and feeling like shit. She told me that she hates her own SE, but I didn't believe her. Yup... I don't even know what she did to fuck it up so bad or that it was even possible. Not burnt or anything , just...awful. I'll eat a slice of bread next time.
StephenDaniels
I have fond memories of my dad cutting bulkie rolls in half, adding Hunts tomato sauce, American cheese, oregano and a little Wesson cooking oil. I guess that was almost pizza too.
napsmear
graehall
Bill Hader is a deeply talented performer, writer, and director
Copperbrat
I can't believe it's not pizza!
RhinestoneSouron
It's hot and it's ready.
StopStealingMyBlankets
But is it good?
heyimjephph
It's HOT and it's READY.
donpat
Give her this recipe for the dough: ing.com/recipes/super-fast-thin-crust-pizza-dough-recipe">https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/super-fast-thin-crust-pizza-dough-recipe
And this one for the sauce: https://www.fivehearthome.com/pizza-sauce-recipe/
The dough is fast to make (you basically make it in about the time it takes to heat up your oven.. maybe about 15 minutes longer) and the sauce is dead simple and you can adjust all the spices to what you have on hand and what you like. After that it's just shredded cheese and toppings
donpat
Parchment paper is probably the only thing that most non-bakers won't have around the kitchen but it's cheap and useful and in this case it makes the whole process very simple since you don't have to worry about sliding your ready to cook pizza into the oven (that can be tricky and takes some practice and needs a bit of special equipment).
My wife and I do this every couple weeks (we double the recipe so we can have leftovers the next day). It's amazing and dead simple
Sebastopol140
But... what is it then???
stoots24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU_Gd623HJo
unfortunatelynotdeadyet
It’s almost pizza
JOKERZwild86
But it’s food right?
teknojo
Almost.
techlich
i still dont know but the piece that hit the floor sounded like glass breaking
Solkanarmy
I've never seen one before, no-one has, but I think it's called a "white hole"
WaterUnderTheRocketAppliances
It's hot and it's ready.
FireSolvesProblems
Why don't we have the same joke with Wendy's? We have the meats! What kind of meat? THE...MEATS!
Ctidz
That's an Arby's commercial
FireSolvesProblems
It's been a long week, but I stand by what I said.
Trelfar
Is it good?
Putitinyomama
Gayforbae
Its an eldritch horror
rbudrick
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-458
RidiculouslyIncompetent
It's made by Pfizer, so it can't be THAT terrible, right? Right?
smegheadenergy
Can it be injected into the body or possibly irradiate bodies with UV light?
OkButWhyWereTheyFilming
If your desire for pizza lasts more than four hours, consult a doctor.
3rdoption
It's pfizza.
graehall
Oh that's clever, nice!
3rdoption
RidiculouslyIncompetent
To be honest I have a cold and she's just trying to take care for me.
But this pizza was really awful. Pizzas are definitely NOT her profession. The kitchen looks like someone tested tested hand grenades in there.
PetuniaPlanter
Tell her to start cooking with soup first
Baughr
Lolol just read your title and yeah my gf would be mad too haha
Niagaran
My ex wanted to get into cake decorating but she was just the worst. No real artistic skills and her icing was an inch thick. You could get diabetes just being in the room with it.
I tried to be nice a few times and then I broke down.
Isthe4thtimethecharm
Honestly, I prefer honesty when I try new food. I am a big boy and know the difference of it being my fault or the recipe I tried.
itsokimaussie
I found the best bases for home made pizza are 50/50 Greek yoghurt and self raising flour. No need to let them raise, just mix and roll them out and put toppings on them. Google "Greek yoghurt and self raising flour pizza base" for more info
Depends45
This is why I cone here, not just the memes, but new ways to insult those i love.
Nellisir
So how's yours? Maybe you should show her.
anim8rjb
I like that you still chirped her even being sick with a cold.
philmoregraves
I mean if she has a good sense of humor yeah send this video. If she doesn't then it's delicate to approach. My way of handling it would probably be to eat the whole damn thing and then when asks how it was "probably a bit too much salt/it was too sweet/the dough didn't cook long enough/it was overcooked" whatever the proper criticism was, and "but I love how much you cared enough to try it and I appreciate/love you. Maybe we can cook 1 together next time."
philmoregraves
Then when you are well take her to dinner or get her favorite cheat food as a thank you for taking care of you. "You fed me, and I wanted to return to favor with something you like." Trust me bud it'll score yah good points.
BigBidiza
MasterMookie
Its the effort and will that matters. Super fun to try new things in the kitchen together and have a laugh at failures.
lovingspace
Learning takes practice. If you crush her on the first try, there'll never be a second. You can be honest yet supportive. Offer that you cook the next one together as a couple's activity.
TheWorldIsATollFreeToilet
If you want her to improve, and to keep cooking at all, you have to be nice. Lie if you have to, a little bit.
RidiculouslyIncompetent
I tried at the lieing part.
We'll do taht together again when I'm better, for sure.
Feralkyn
Nah don't lie. Be honest but positive.
heyletsbefriends
how do you even make awful pizza? like at its simplest, its just dough, tomato sauce and cheese
Ehvilmonkey
When you really dive into it you can make it quite complicated. What flour, how long to let it rise, cold rise or not, do you make sauce from fresh tomatos, or canned ones, do you boil the sauce or just let it simmer long time, what cheese you use, how you bake it and so on. And that is just start of it
heyletsbefriends
where do you dig your water well and grow your wheat and tomatoes, how do you name your cow, do you juice the cow with a juicer or by hand
donpat
This may be true. But none of this is required for just making a simple, delicious home-made pizza.
In other words.. it *can* be complicated but there is no universe in which it *must* be complicated.
Lyconous
I'm genuinely curious as to what she got wrong. Please tell me she didn't try to make the dough by hand
Ehvilmonkey
Why? Daugh is quite easy to make. Just use right type of flour and let it rise enough. If you olan ahead you can rise it in cold day or two, but daugh from same day is also good enough.
astrangehop
Same day dough suuuuuucks. It's like weird bread
Ehvilmonkey
Not really. Its harder to handle and is not that "airy", but most of the people dont find that big difference in end product. I have tested this
astrangehop
Hm. In my experience even 12 hours in the fridge makes for a much better experience. Chewier crust l, coarser crumb, more pronounced flavor.. maybe it's just me though.
donpat
Making pizza dough by hand literally couldn't be easier. It's like 6 simple ingredients. The most complicated step is letting dry yeast bloom in warm water for 10 minutes. After that you just mix wet and dry ingredients in a bowl with a spoon (no machine needed), let it rest covered while your oven heats up and then shape and top it.
Of all the things that make making home made pizza difficult (and there are a few), the dough itself is pretty much at the bottom of the list.
Lyconous
For someone who knows what they're doing, yes. Never underestimate the ability of the unskilled to fuck up the least complicated step
iUsedToBeFunThenIGotAGoodTherapist
Pizza dough is one of the easiest doughs to make. Piece of cake, if cake was three ingredients (one of them water)
Lyconous
IF you know what you're doing
ChiLLeCheeze
Water, pizza flour, and egg.
iUsedToBeFunThenIGotAGoodTherapist
If you're putting an egg and 0 yeast in your pizza dough, you're gonna have a bad time making that pizza.
Lyconous
Overknead, underknead, too much water, not enough water, ect. There's alot of ways someone unskilled in the kitchen can get it wrong. Just cause you know what you're doing doesn't mean everyone does.