zweifel
23172
629
17
Jul 2, 2026 1:05 PM
zweifel
23172
629
17
copingcabana
"How do you do, fellow consumers?"
Munchman347
Sounds more like a 'Spacer's Choice' slogan. Auntie would approve...
LeifHietala
i actually respected Dear Valued Customer a bit more than when they use my actual name. Genuine indifference is less insulting than disingenuous familiarity.
GravyEducation
nomnamless
I'm a merchandiser and a target manager snipped at me because I referred to the people shopping as customers. She said "they are guest!"
FisheswithDynamite
And she's not an employee, she's an associate. Corpo slang is the fucking worst.
majortool
This is exactly what Swindled podcast does. Valued listener. Send us your money.
Nukls
MouseDenton
A more accurate one would be "human capital".
RexFury
+my favorite is when I get mail that says "Dear valued customer or current resident"
Stoneagedudeman
Outer Worlds in 3....2....
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
We work. To earn the right to work.
We work. To earn the right to work.
We work. To earn the right to work.
We work. To earn the right to work.
Athol
To earn the right to give
Ourselves the right to buy
Ourselves the right to live
To earn the right to die
cattlegrazer82
Valued Customer is what we aspire to in a capitalist society. In truth, most of us will peak at Valued Associate.
Imalwaysready
We can further!
TonawandaBlue
Sonicschilidogs
My company just made us aware of a scam where people are calling stores and pretending to be our help line.... The thing is, anyone in this company for any significant amount of time would know that is a scam because our help line is filled with assholes who are the exact opposite of helpful, and also know literally nothing to be actually helpful. I called one time and they responded with "I don't know" and just hung up..... This is a Fortune 500 company.
VaultBoy2319
yeah but it literally just says "HELP"
lehenry
It's the page that redirect to the chatbot that asks you questions that could be checkboxes but you have to reply "in natural language" and in the end gives you a phone number to reach the support desk.
LtRooney
The support line is the same thing, just verbally and the whole time it reminds you that the website should have been able to do this.
GravyEducation
No but I do have a help bottle
onlyheretoargue
Valued customer = valued source of revenue
CheHuyVOchkoPososiMolochko
Unless you’re a social media user, than you’re just a product.
CobainsSarcoma
the 'help' page is usually even less helpful than the clanker that has only the ability to set up auto pay
Sechran
1986 as re-written by a marketing seminar.
FjordFiskursson
Nah, most people we meet are not our customers. I propose we call each other Gesell.
IWantedOneOfThoseLongUsernamesTooSoIGotOne
People who do a lot of cosplay are "Valued Costumers".
LogicalLimes
Yeah. I’m sure I’m valued. Just like I’m sure my call really is “important” to them too. 😂
escalinci
Link arms with your friends and celebrate the sponsor at the end of your conversation!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-rWZ88AnVQ
Hexrowe
Greetings, consumer!
EndlingGer
I’d prefer this just because it’s shorter.
Comrade/Tovarish just rolls off the tongue easily.
abraxasfury
Flameo, Hotman!
SlyMrFox
Greetings, program!
abraxasfury
Listen up, you primitive screwheads!
Illithidbane
I call my wife "valued customer." That's why she's always right.
suntea888
Dear Mr. K. Dilkington
weidermeijer
We are experiencing extremely high call volume…
FisheswithDynamite
I'm honestly surprised "valued customer" or some slang like "valco" isn't used in cyberpunk by the corpos as a derogatory for the populace.
Aristocrats
Our help page is capitalist for "treasured red book". The Maoists won after all.
abraxasfury
"Valued Customer" is quite often a codeword for "Asshole"
cosonfused
bless your heart, valued customer.
BananaForScaIe
Imma start calling my step dad Valued Customer now.
ThoseRulesArentReal
In a capitalism I don’t think what you said presented any contradictions
ExTechOp
A couple of decades ago, there was a scandal here in Finland when a customer at a Ford car shop saw his own record, which included the note "asiakas on mulkku" (the customer is a dick). After this hit the newspapers, it was widely agreed that from now on cases like this will be designated as "A1-customers", for reasons of plausible deniability.
Sechran
More often it's lazy boiler plate transcribed by soulless business homunculi.
Minoes
Maybe we should just be more honest to eachother and start calling eachother "Asshole"... "Dear Asshole, how's it hanging?"
SeanBeanJovi
That sounds like you're inquiring after my thrombosed hemorrhoid.
DefinitelyaHumanNotanAlien
You're right about that, valued customer
shutupthisisreal
really has distinct Demolion Man vibes to it, doesn't it
Sypurist
Bless your heart.
hendawg2020
"You're not wrong, Walter. You're just a valued customer!"
ThailandExpress
Economic Serf or Ecorfs (/ E•corfs /)