zoraniko
68773
1008
11
Feb 10, 2024 8:01 PM
zoraniko
68773
1008
11
snrsquishy101
Iv never wanted to ride a polar bear until now.
lonosham
I also choose this guys soon-to-be-mauled-to-death wife
RevolutionOnHerLips
I wish sun bears and panda were on here
fbdrtallz
Can I pet that dog?
ThatDudeRich
For the rest of your life
ScubaSteve6
Still confused. Need a banana for scale
Twinklepot
The polar bear could be a swizz at basketball given the chance
KnifeKnut
Sounds like the making of a movie.
"White Bears Can't Jump"
DrNick
6 feet is kinda tall, even for a fully grown black bear. The ones I used to see were well fed and would've been about 4-5 feet standing up.
imaginesoox
And they can teleport up trees
Freeasabird2015
This is why I'm scared of all bears and have never found polar bears 'cute'.
Robtri
And many men think they can take one in a fight lol
imaginesoox
Blackfinity
ironymus
The giant short-faced bear (Arctodus simus) was even larger than the polar bear. His diet was predominantly carnivorous and he lived in Northern America at the end of the last ice age about 12,800 years ago.
ThaneofGlamis
End of the last glacial maximum I think
ironymus
He vanished round about 12,800 years ago. The Pleistocene ended 11,000 years ago. The species suffered from a reduced genetic diversion and was therefore not able to adapt to the changing climate
ThaneofGlamis
Fascinating. I’ll have to do some reading I think.
yappingcrow
Now in snack size
ScarecrowSticks
Hurro
*Bear compared to cougar
drakkaris12718
Zing
SatchelGizmo
darthstormer
That bear's moving in to snap her neck like a secret agent.
Chickenbuttholeremover
Wrestlemania 2024 looks lit
chichiFregiLover
justplainvanilla
JapaneseGeneticists
Is the bear somewhere in the background? I don't understand this photo at all.
zoraniko
It’s working cause I don’t see no damn bear in this photo
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
tinybartender
"Got lost in his own museum?"
ironymus
greenchair
What am I looking at?
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
I think the implication is that there is a bear hiding somewhere in the image.
reallynotalex
Some trees I guess
FancySharkDinnerParty
Nismu
PacerStacktrain
camjay14
Polar bears are absolutely terrifying, they are the only bear that will actively hunt humans..and unless ur armed ur not gettin away lol
carrotsonfire
Polar bears actively hunt whatever they can get their claws on. They aren't exactly picky.
zagibu
Have to be armed correctly, even. I wouldn't trust an every day carry 9mm pistol against an enraged polar bear. It will probably kill it, but maybe not fast enough to save your life.
camjay14
10mm is the only way. A heavy round going super fast. And yeah you would want to keep as much distance as possible lol
zagibu
I would prefer a .45-70 lever action rifle or something similar.
Baron29
Ya, I think of I had to only carry a pistol in bear country, it would be a "cowboy caliber"
sieg443130
Something in the neighborhood of a 480 Ruger or larger.
JusticePhrall
There's a running joke in Alaska where a rookie Fish & Game warden is told to have the armorer file off the front sight of his .357 so when a grizzly grabs it and shoves it up his ass it won't hurt so bad.
WolfFromTheTVShowFutureMan
I’ve never understood this. If you shot it in the face a few times (even with a small gun) it will still be able to attack?
Sooner70
And they have no sense of fear. Once upon a time I was in a helicopter hovering about 20' over the top of several polar bears. They had zero fucks to give. They just sorta looked up from their nap and were like, "Whatever" and went back to bear things.
camjay14
Very true! No fear at all. The video of the dude in glass cage that the polar bear tried to get into was pretty crazy.. hes lucky there was just 1 bear
Sooner70
Haven't seen that one, but I have seen the "shark cage" that someone did that with (from the helicopter previously mentioned). My "guide" (read: the pilot) mentioned that the dude coated the bars with cod liver oil to guarantee the bears were interested in the bars, but still.... scary fooking animals.
camjay14
Good lord above! that would awful to be in that cage and you'd have to have a slight death wish to go in one! Lol
alluro2
"...if it's white, good night"...
Nismu
just recently found out that dnd giant owls are 9 feet tall. and only cr 1/4 so you can summon 8 of them with conjure animals.
omegaprimus01
Yeah the first time I saw a grizzly was at a zoo, and was like wow that is a deep pit wonder why it’s soo deep, then I looked down at my feet and there was the grizzly standing on its back feet claws at most 6 inches away from my feet, freaked me the hell out
tarrnation
Alaskan here. Grizzlies will def hit 10' plus and polars closer to 11.
RussianMathNinja
umbrellamaker
WhoToldYouLifeWasFair
In their defense, that's kind of a short human.
Ryebread91
Well look at mr 6'5" over here.
PacerStacktrain
5-4'... obviously they wouldn't put Shaq in there to deflate their point
RunawaySpoons
Pretty average for much of the world.
drhobotron
In terms of the world average male height is 5'6" and female 5'2".
SinfulDeviant
Even so, but that polar bear is HUGE
staceyjorgenson31415
The only bears who see us as a good food source :)
BenjyX55
Why friend shaped?
heyimjephph
Bear shape is not remotely friend shaped
DidItForScience
Teddy bears are bear propaganda.
NormalVariant
All the better to lure you to your death my dear.
Tumescentpie
Because they are cousins of man's best friend.
69thStPepper
So you can ruffle their widdle ears before you bleed out
Frederf
Is she that rough?
Clayman8
They could tear my arms off and id still find a way to cuddle them ears
BenjyX55
There are worse ways to go.
TheBestSpiderQueen
Very few of them.
clamdriver
First date.
PacerStacktrain
ctriis87
Bears can run 35 mph (56 km/h) for a short time and 25 mph (40 km/h) for a long time.
PacerStacktrain
Don't run, you won't win
zoraniko
Bears really won the genetic lottery.
PacerStacktrain
When my or any kids ask me if monsters are real, I hesitate and debate being honest.
Lampmonster
Their sense of smell is also hundreds of times better than a dog's. Thousands of times better than ours.
EchoOfSnac
Can't pass an eye exam well enough to get a driver's license or read a book, tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
miles4pints
They don’t need a driver’s license. Russians will chauffeur them around
MenloPart
Do they always maul the optometrist?
seenunseen
And some men think they can take a bear in a fist fight
PacManDreaming
Depends. Do I have a loaded Magnum Reaearch BFR in my fist? If so, I'll even fight that Polar bear.
combatwombat0
sadurdaynight
(me) *pulls out knife* (bear) that's no fair! all I've got is my bear hands!
p7hk9
I can take a bear TO a fistfighte
p7hk9
But I cannot spell 😃t
blueKD
I used to work with a guy who was convinced he could beat a grizzly with his shitty mall katana
evilspock
I could fight a bear! I mean - it'd maul me in an instant, sure. But I'm *stupid* enough, in the right mood.
Ktet709
I won't win the fight, but I'm going to do what I can to make the bear choke on my while it's eating me.
ThatBobbyG
They can take them…to lunch.
Gr0Z3m
I can totally take a bear in a fist fight. I can actually form fists. Unfortunately the bear can form razor sharp claw swipes that will rip me to shreds instead.....
Mikeiller
never bring fists to a razor sharp claw fight
FRIENDisCHUMisBAIT
This is something I'd watch.
AbrasiveKrab
I reckon I could take a care bear
corprophage
Some men are 7 feet tall and 300 pounds of mass. Dudes have fought off black bears before, Grizzlies and Polars no fucking chance
vmos
a koala bear
SoGrosslyIncandescent
I think I could probably defeat most animals that are 1/8 of my body weight or less. Anything bigger than that and that animal muscle is just way too much for my weak desk job body.
Schoctane
I'm pretty sure bears can't make fists. So I'd win on a technicality.
freshthrowaway1138
Yep, Tyson lost because of biting, so I could totally fight him until he's disqual'd.
SecondSince
I'll let you explain that to the bear.
Kelerain
I'm not sure how convincing 'Technically, the bear lost' would be as an epitaph on a tombstone...
Mikeiller
I have a hard time thinking of as better epitaph.
Schoctane
Would be unique at least, haha.
Lucallia
Very convincing. I would be convinced to never fight a bear.