EscapedLewdist
291354
10405
150
Oct 17, 2017 4:26 PM
EscapedLewdist
291354
10405
150
804lif3
Happens to me at Kroger every time, everyone stares at you like your stealing.
Lepercake
Omg my local store just got this and holy crap, on point!
eromitlab
Remove item from bagging area and scan it! Place the item back in the bagging area!
igooutsidesometimes
You put your last item in, you take your last item out. You put your last item in and you shake it all about.
YoUcAnNoTuSeAdEaDmEmEfOrYoUrUsErNaMe
That's because you tried to buy the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Wunderhaus
Scan your next it--PLACE YOUR ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA
NR97420
THE ATTENDANT HAS BEEN NOTIFIED TO ASSIST YOU
Zuzecha
now they got fuck huge screens with cameras staring you in the face
PROBABLYRANDOM
self checkout is an art and skill to be harnessed and cultivated
YouThinkThatsBad
I didn't know it still existed. I think every store in chicago got rid of it.
Retardis310
I HATE a self check out....it's like there's some leprechaun fuck in there like 'ay, let's fuck wit this fat bastard!'
woderwoman
I love self check out. My partner and I have it down! He scans I pack. No rushy till lady throwing things at us and wanting to chat!
iluvbunbuns
Yes! I hate those that comment on purchases. "Have you tried this _____bf, is it good?" I've always wanted to say "No, tastes like shit!"
Lilly64
Unless I have fewer than 2 or 3 items, I avoid self checkout like a plague
ScrotieMcpostagain
I refuse to self checkout, it makes me crazy. If asked I say I have a restraining order. Shuts em right up. No checker? No sale.
themoonman
Best use of this meme so far
IDidntWantToSignUpForImgur
1/2 In my country it's more like: "Place the item in the bagging ar-PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE BAGGING AREA" like, i'm not fucking touching it
IDidntWantToSignUpForImgur
2/2 but when I place the item in the bagging area SOMETHING is going to fucking touch it. I am not a fucking magician
ZnarfLeciram
“Attendant has been notified to assist you”
mynewestusername
After they finish talking to their friend.
TheyreAllGoodTacos
"But why???" -- Me, every time.
dejavutoyoutoo
"Help is on the way. In the mean time everyone look at this idiot self checking out while he waits for help because he screwed up scanning"
AlwaysUpvoteDogs7
Lmao
DaneBrass
"ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH TO BUY COUGH MEDICINE? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BU-" *clerk inserts code* "You win this time, customer."
mynewestusername
I went to self check out the one time I ever bought condoms not online. They had to be verified...
Metazor
Sounds like a good plot
NachoPete
I always feel like everyone is staring at me when this happens. Yet, I don't pay attention while I am waiting in line.
UnvisibleFixer
IIRC, that is called the spotlight effect.
UnvisibleFixer
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect
lvsv
This meme has to be about CVS
bananatoast
We've all been there!
Kiore
Help is never on the way. The red light is flashing and the attendant is standing there staring off into space.
Virunuss
As a Cashier than occasionally has to be the Self-Check person, here is what is going on, at least in my store [Walmart]: >>>
Virunuss
>> 1) Item is scanned. 2) Machine wants to weigh the item in the bagging area. 3) If you put the item in the bagging area and leave it >>
Virunuss
>> alone, you'll notice the red lights [they turn on when item is scanned] will turn green. After they turn green, it is OK to move items >>
Virunuss
>> around. ||| So basically, after scanning, put item down, DO NOT pull the bag away to make room for the next one, DO NOT mess with >>
Virunuss
>> double bagging, and DO NOT reposition items in the bag until the lights turn green again. Then you can do whatever, including removing >>
Virunuss
>> the bag to put it in your cart. ||| Additionally, if you do it all right and there is STILL a bagging issue, DO NOT do that thing >>
LabiaCrust
drifterbg
Where is a blank version of this meme? I can't find the full thing
Goku
I had to edit the text out to make a blank one.. Couldn't find the original lol
LabiaCrust
Sweet username o.o
Goku
Thanks mate
Illithidbane
After three attempts... "Please wait for assistance." Then over walks the saddest looking human that has ever been slave to a machine.
memelordnito
Self checkout has just made retail more depressing to work in imo.
creatineshits
First thing I do is mute the checkout. If you can't mute it, I leave. Most of my day is spent trying not to be annoyed.
HylianFox
then why are you on imgur
creatineshits
memes
YouThinkThatsBad
You spend a substantial amount of time shopping and then leave without your items if you can't mute self checkout?
creatineshits
I spend 5 to 10 minutes shopping. I make a list and get the stuff on the list.
mysteriousasthedarksideofthemooooon
I'm about to drop some knowledge. There's a volume icon. Select it to MUTE the kiosk! Now you can scan in peace :)
NorthernBoy94
Half the time you're there you think to yourself "I should be paid to deal with this shit"
CUNTDESTROY3R
KayneSantor
Every fucking time.
DancingPanther
sanjisama
I don't get it
tnoy23
.
ANerdsMind
This is my new favorite of this meme lol +1
Twichy
NotALurkerAnyLonger
Sphealistic
Does someone have the blank template for this?
ThatSillyDog
Read it in the voice.
TheGreyKnightsBANNED
i read it in the voice. but more intense. i just laugh up a chewed up cheeto out of my nose. someone send help.
HylianFox
I like when they show a Xarelto/Pradaxa commercial and the very next one is "IF YOU OR A LOVED HAVE TAKEN XARELTO OR PRADAXA YOU MAY BE..."
thingamajig1987
I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW!!!
psaicl
White text, black frame. It's not that hard
dauntlessds
https://imgur.com/ylVm6Re
IdDisembowelHisCat
Dunno why but I thought this was just a thing that happened here.
MemeMcgee
THE FITNESS GRAM PACER TEST IS A M-
reaperslayer20
ultiple stage arobic capacity test
DancingPanther
Dillonnnyousonofabitch
SIMPalaxy
KUSOKUSOKUSOKUSO. SHINEHSHINEHSHINEH.
pookieeatworld
IIIIIIIIIIII CRY, when angels deserve to...
v
Justincredible6
This meme.... it'd be a shame if some one....stole it
SometimesThisSometimesThat
IrishFight
iamtheburgerking
SquidJesus
Minkaf
NeutralPitStopCommenter
Rynzler
Lowlsqwid
m49num
TheFreezingSwede
Unexpected you say?
v
FillerNameToFillTheBox
Whats worse is when it's a super light item and no matter how you place it in the bagging area it isn't detected.
mynewestusername
And then you get the error only to be told it's your fault for not putting it in the bagging area.
FillerNameToFillTheBox
EVEN WHEN THE THREE OTHER IDENTICAL ITEMS ARE
filben7
This is why you put those fuckers on mute.
usedhernaym
How??
epicstorybro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QFXK4i9Nc
cmonaussie
just figured out how to do this last year and it's life changing
theninthmike
https://imgur.com/6lBpFPJ
epicstorybro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QFXK4i9Nc
theninthmike
Thanks!
amomaxia
Please wait while an attendant verifies your bags...
michonnedisapproves
Cue awkward waiting for the bored part timer to notice because you're too shy to shout
HughLaurie
I just make stabbing eye contact until they notice me.
toasteheh
"you fucking thief"
rarararararararararararararara
OctopussSevenTwo
Rescan item. Resc-resc-rescan item.
shuttPlanetLord
This.
IRPAZ
supergreenpasta
"Sir, you just rang-up all this produce as bananas"
RaynWisp
"This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S..."
GuybrushUThreepwood
This actually works. Tired of expensive meat and hot chocolate? Weigh those badboys as sprouts and enjoy the glory of cheap meat.
supergreenpasta
I have been caught doing it, I wasn't prosecuted or anything, but it was awkward.
BadlyWrappedKebab
Funny thing is you can't get in trouble for it because you're not trained to use the system. This is at least true in Australia.
Dougamer
Wrong, very wrong. It is willful deceit with the intent for theft.
BadlyWrappedKebab
What you say is true regardless of using self-service or not. You can’t prove intent to steal because something scanned incorrectly.
supergreenpasta
I have been caught doing it (US), I wasn't prosecuted or anything, but it was awkward.
RobErtE87
*bleep* Plums.
michonnedisapproves
Thank you I wasn't sure
xenadukem
ninety nine.....cents! six.....ninety nine!
EricAndresmoleonhisleftbuttcheek
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! WHERE AM I?!
michonnedisapproves
we all scan down here
EricAndresmoleonhisleftbuttcheek
ausernamewhat
FUCK. SELF. CHECK. OUT. I didn't realize I needed to a trained cashier to grocery shop!
PhilFromAccounting
I will stand in line for five minutes before I'll use one of these horrid fucking things. I hate absolutely everything about them.
Lierofox
My first job at 18 was as a cashier back in 2005, the rage and frustration that those useless machines induce in me could power a small city
Lierofox
I could scan, bag, and enter PLUs for an entire cart stuffed TO THE BRIM in a couple minutes in an actual checkstand.
Lierofox
The only thing that ever stopped or slowed me down was if I had to do a refund of an item valued more than $30 requiring an override.
ipointoutrepeats
YES. THIS is what pisses me off about those things! I can scan and bag like a demon but waiting for the computer to catch up and the sensor
ipointoutrepeats
to verify expected weight vs actual weight makes this process clunky as hell. And the 1 employee overseeing is either nowhere or HOVERING.
Lierofox
And if you wait more than 30 seconds when you're 'waiting for assistance' it starts bitching that it'll clear the transaction soon.
Leithreas
place your...BANANAS...in the bagging area.
AutomotivePhysicist
I argue with the machine. "No, you move YOUR bananas."
annoyingjoe
Move your...BANANAS...to the belt. I say this every time I'm in the grocery store, bananas or no.
ImTheOneWhoTookYourRug
I can hear the lady robot voice so clearly!
paul289
Ok, placing the bananas in "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA!" Son of a...
xuriV
place your... COOKIES! in the bag.
Gamavon
Place your ... DONUTS in the bag.
LifeEaterVirus
AnythingMuchShorter
place your...KY PERSONAL LUBRICANT...in the bagging area
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
I feel like they dropped the ball only doing that for produce.
Leithreas
It's so you can't cheat by typing cheap produce for fancy ones, I suppose. Hence how loud it gets?
CardboardPizzas
Please place your... 20 INCH LONG 4 INCH THICK SILICONE DILDO... in the bagging area.
DefinetlyNotARussianSpy
Please place your... FULL-SIZE CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF FABIO LANZONI... in the bagging area.
SharkyMcSnarkface
Please place your.... DIGNITY... in the bagging arra.
xRAINxOFxBLOODx
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
TK421isAFK
What stores have this? The "Unexpected item in bagging area" is bad enough. Don't fucking announce I just bought lube and a cantaloupe.
forreallyandfortrue
I bet that's a joke; none that I've ever been to have announced anything that wasn't a coded/weighed item. It's a loss prevention thing.
igooutsidesometimes
The store near me is set up to do that, but every weighed item is "ITEM". Please place your.. ITEM.. in the bag.
forreallyandfortrue
So it only says ITEM rather than what the item actually is? That's no fun.
forreallyandfortrue
Whole Foods in SC had a hot food bar that was by the lb; the self-scan announced HOT BAR when the code was entered & it made me giggle.
TheSteppenWolf
As a cashier, “Please insert the card. Not slide ins— it’s backwards. You gotta— there! Okay no don’t remo— why? Put it back— STOP SLIDING!”
millanbel
That's what she said
QrDuinn
Hur hur hur they're all different that looks nothing like my signature hur.
Kiore
Some attendants can be a bit over-zealous. Had one point out the PLU on the apples then try to take them off me to read it-- I've got it ok!
ImguriansFillMySaltReservoir
What do you mean you need to see ID? I've never need ID before!
itsreallyhardtofindausernamethatisnttaken
Please insert card into chip reader. Please wait. Do not remove card. Do not remov—REMOVE CARD NOW OMG YOU IDIOT REMOVE THE FUCKING CARD!!!
ScrotieMcpostagain
The REAL problem is the technology. The chip is less secure than the strip, WAY slower and more clunky. Lose-lose.
bpetersen
*Sirens in distance*
Lucatiels
Even better when your chip is messed up so you have to constantly insert and remove until it finally asks you to slide.
YouThinkThatsBad
I always get "CHIP MALFUNCTION" and somehow the cashier thinks I'm an idiot who's doing something wrong
DefinetlyNotARussianSpy
Because most of the times, the customer is an idiot who is doing something wrong
tantallous
oh you mean i need to put the side of the card with chip into the reader?
ENCHANTMEN
*swipes card* "please insert chip" *inserts chip* "could not read chip, please swipe card"
DragonEmperor18
The ones at best buy don't yell at you when dine, just a silent prompt on the screen.
anugg
I always think the ding means my card was declined.
Treblaine
They do NOT want to waste hours of worker's time dealing with customers who keep leaving their cards behind.
quitch
The reader at my grocery store WAS really obnoxious. Then they changed it I guess and now it is much nicer on the ears.
slickjim86
lol walmart
dustmywets
RRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR. RRRRRRRRRRR
StaticVoidFalafel
Beep beep. Remove the damn card or I'll embarrass you. Beep beeeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeep
zamielvanweber
The ones at Wal Mart used to get highly aggressive if you did not pick up your bags the instant your transaction was finished. Changed that.
HylianFox
PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS, DIPSHIT
zamielvanweber
Repeat every .5 seconds until customer killed themselves. The voice only says it once now thankfully.
mynameisbetterthanyours420x69
This was more funny when that girl made a tweet about it a few months ago
MrDrWatson
Reminds me of those ATMs at night in an empty street. "WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY!!!"...every potential robber is now aware I'm carrying money now.
Treblaine
"No, hold back my fellow stickup artists, they may have just used an ATM but it's pretty unlikely they've actually withdrawn any money"
Treblaine
So be fair, if a mugger saw you had just used an ATM... they are going to assume you've withdrawn some money not just checked your account.
MrDrWatson
Some people use it to pay bills and taxes, not only withdrawing money.
Treblaine
Yeah, I don't think muggers are the sort to give that kind of benefit of the doubt.
FraudulentPepsi
My chip got crushed so while I wait for another card to come I have to run it until it finally rejects me and let's me use the side
brhinehart
Me too! Three chip fails and swipe!
FraudulentPepsi
Haha! That's the one
rainballs
I wish ours did it. Instead I had an angry ass customer yell at me over it. I'm like "yes I'll call the it department asap to come out here"
rainballs
Mind you hq is an hour drive and IT doesn't come for a whole ass 3 hrs later. In other words, I'm an asshole.
alexoran
Worked in retail. People _still_ walk away without their card. No matter how loud it is, it needs to be louder.
Treblaine
If only the card rules allowed the transaction to be withheld until they withdraw their card. Some places do it that way.
amyhadalittlepond
And they get super pissed off at you when you call them back.
rainballs
I do that Will Smith presenting thing when they have an attitude. They get embarrassed since they wanna be rude
zoomer296
Please present us with the presenting thing.
Anonaru
I love when it is a super loud, horrendous sounding alarm sound that makes the jewelry store 3 doors down think they're being robbed
srs00
And that's usually the "card accepted" sound too.
MildTiger
As a cashier, if it's not loud and annoying, 1/3 people will leave their card behind.
spencer1519
As someone currently deploying some of these devices, that's the sound they make when left in training mode.
Anonaru
You are correct! I have been a NCR compliance / device attendant and a FIS Device Custodian, I've heard all the damn noises :\
Kiriae
At subway, it made the windows error bleep noise for a couple weeks. It was great.
Idonotneedafuckingusername
The one near me does that when we order too :O
SaraFourImgur
Just as planned
LongCommentChainAppreciator
*Ocean's Eleven theme song*
lordofthedice
Aren't we on Ocean's Fifteen, now?
HylianFox
Ocean's Five-Hundred
SlyMrFox
Ocean's Eight
Verldemert
Chip cards are so last year. We have wireless thingies in our credit cards here now, so you just hold the card near the terminal for a sec.
itsreallyhardtofindausernamethatisnttaken
We had those before the chip cards but they were vulnerable to theft.
Verldemert
They’re pretty safe here. Any purchase over $30 and you need to enter a pin.
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Damn
onikazey
do you mean NFC? also in android and iOS
zoomer296
That is, as long as you have a phone that isn't a piece of shit.
ved79a
https://www.visa.com/visapaywave/
optimusgoose
To be fair I've seen soo many ppl walk off with their card still in the reader
davidjytang
Now I’m curious what you do for living.
optimusgoose
Animation
daevax
Definitely a decent amount of people that take like 15+ seconds to acknowledge the beeping. I'm like how..?
faeros
how many deaf people do you encounter on a day to day basis?
rainballs
A lot, but the customer one usually pays cash
optimusgoose
Don't need to be deaf, just clueless. A lot of clueless people day to day.
DodgeDuckDipDiveDodge
How? Every store I've been to the transaction literally won't complete on the cashiers side until the card is pulled out.
HylianFox
that's what she said
optimusgoose
I guess we go to different grocery stores cuz it happens quite frequently.
rainballs
I've had customers do it when we first switched to the chip reader
Mthrboard
They don't all wait. That's why lots of card terminals beep until you remove the card
hiredhobbs
Yep but i work at a small business with a counter. 1 in 20 will take it and put it on the counter. Those people occasionally leave it there
filben7
Seriously, what dipshit though RED ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was a good sound for that? A little *ding!* wasnt enough?
temobuttdive
In some Safeways where I live, they replaced the alarm with a little ding. Much more pleasant but not as funny
PopeyeTheSailor
seven eleven here has a ding sound
derock789
It's because most of the people end up just leaving their card in there and walking away.
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
They have been changing it.
calcifear
I'd bet it's because they were thinking of it not as "done" but as "I STILL HAVE YOUR CARD".
BozoThePie
I gotta say, I have never encountered this happening. No stores do this in my area. Does anybody have a video? I'm really curious.
lx45803
It is surprisingly difficult to find a clip of the sound alone, but this video has a clip of it. https://youtu.be/y581irsYfEI?t=207
tehzpoon
All of them in my town do a pleasant little bleep. When I make purchases while out of town, my ass tries to ingest my underwear.
LilSebastianYoure5000CandlesInTheWind
Stores can actually change the sound, most just dont care enough to do so
Frederf
Having different sounds is probably worse.
StAnonymous
Because you dumbasses keep walking off without your stuff. We have a pile of shit that’s been left behind and a drawer of keys and phones.
filben7
Free stuff for the store.
Treblaine
I wish. It's a liability for some customer coming in "YOU STOLE MY PROPERTY! I'M GONNA SUE YOU! YOU'RE ALL THIEVES!"
drfsupercenter
I've been to stores that have a quieter ding sound just like you described. I think it depends what firmware the card reader uses.
drfsupercenter
I've also seen gas stations and stuff where the cash register makes sound effects from the Lemmings video game every time you scan anything
AlexisWalker
The gas station near where I live uses the "collect rings" sound from the original Sonic The Hedgehog.
drfsupercenter
Yeah, that's the same one I think. It does that when they scan a barcode and makes the "yippee" sound from Lemmings when you pay, IIRC
epoke
I always thought it should be 1. Insert card. 2. “Please wait” (no blinking text) 3. *Cha-ching* Please remove your card.
filben7
Nope its this instead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzWzIc63ECU
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Wow more of this
MemeMcgee
Or is it this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hjqh4cIxZY
OptimisticDownvoteLover
More of these?
Caspooky
It's actually this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQf8Mns_sK8
Mouseatthebottomofthecup
Wow, creepy sounding alarm!