masculine/feminine are ridiculously loosely defined, whenever ppl start listing traits they either turn out to be chauvanists or start listing traits that really you want both genders to posess
Just be a good person, and express yourself in whatever way makes you happy and confident without harming or imposing on anyone else. Develop those traits that are important for you to express - compassion, kindness, strength, powerfulness, doer, thinker, writer, singer, leader, follower, whatever. Be the best version of you, for you.
The societal need to define these kind of things is a bigger problem than what the definition is. It's a sisyphean task that would achieve nothing if we even could do it.
Curious how these sorts of reasonable, level-headed, thoughtful takes on social issues always seem to cone from people from outside the US. Almost as if there are things the rest of the world has figured out that half the US still fails to grasp.
The masculinity paradox - if you are afraid of looking feminine then you are a coward, and cowardice is emasculating. To be truly masculine you have to be comfortable expressing femininity when appropriate.
Personally I love turning the idea of masculinity back onto conservatives. "Why can't you love all of your fellow human beings, are you too weak?" "Are you afraid to respect people who are different than you?"
You want to show love towards your fellow human beings? Stop tolerating their filth. Stop pretending that fascism will simply go away if you just refuse to fight and sit there and wait for nothing.
Ehhh. Definitely agree with the intent of the message, but I think it's misguided in a few spots. He's right the way that different people express femininity vs masculinity will be different, but that extends to *how* people express caring, and compassion, etc. A man isn't necessarily expressing femininity when he looks after someone, because we assign gender ideals to *how* you care for someone. Cooing after them, distracting them, or telling them to buck up are all options, but it's a matter >
> of the right method for the right person. If you try to boost someone up who's down, when that isn't what *they* want or need, they might perceive it as negative masculine energy.
Regarding the rest of it, yeah, it's never been good to try and stuff people into rigidly defined gender roles - boys or girls. But, there's a hitch in just letting boys "discover who they are" on their own too because a lot of the demands of modern life discourage the things boys are, I will say, 'typically' >
> inclined towards. Be quiet, behave, no running, no rough housing, don't wander, don't do anything that might be dangerous... Certainly we have these expectations of girls as well, but these are typically behaviors we associate with 'boyhood' or the masculine, so a LOT of a boy's opportunity to discover masculine parts of his personality is stunted from the get-go. Similarly girls aren't often able to find out if these things interest them, but that's got its own, further complications also. >
> Obviously the answer *is not* manosphere bullshit. I'm not saying it is, at all, even a little. But I do think opportunities to explore masculinity are needed, and shouldn't be dismissed as "boys don't need more masculinity". Yep. Okay bye.
This is exactly why people get butthurt about toxic masculinity instead of listening to the message. You are describing textbook toxic masculinity here and conflating it with masculinity in general. There's nothing wrong with being happy about your gender, it's only a problem when that identity is weaponized to hurt others. The concept of masculinity itself is not a problem, though.
Gotta be honest, it seems like you didn't watch the whole video. He gave example of toxic and positive masculinity, and countered both by saying that masculinity is simply how we express ourselves.
I mean, it's probably not great either that we constantly assert that masculinity can never *really* be healthy or positive. We don't do this with any other identity because it's obviously weird and bizarre.
I don't think the concepts of rigid gender *can* ever be really healthy or positive. That's kind of his whole point. They take what it is to be human, and they split it in half and say you have to stay in your half. Even if you try to do that in a positive way, it's not really healthy. It wasn't healthy for women either, but women have broken out of their box somewhat, whereas many men are still desperately trying to hold the box together and push it on other men. That's why masculinity gets /1
addressed as unhealthy far more than femininity does, because women have already been fighting that forced idea of femininity for hundreds of years, and many women have stepped completely outside of it. Men haven't been fighting masculinity though, so it's currently more problematic for men than femininity is for women. /2
No, but seriously, I was just articulating the same point in regard to a post about Tori Amos; being able to experience the FEMINE part of ourselves as men, the ANIMA, as Jung labeled it, is essential to being a better functioning, WHOLE human being.
The guy is as awesome as his huge penis, I mean HANDS!
This is a good point. My desire to be seen as masculine went away when I learned how to fix cars, learned how to freestyle rap, learned how to direct social situations, it's about finding a good outlet for your insecurities
Oo.. finding a good outlet for your insecurities... Hm. Never thought of it like that. Always as a way of overcoming them. but do you mean an outlet as a way of embracing your insecurities? Is that also to overcome them, or is it to let you feel comfortable with expressing them?
Embracing, yes - I feel insecure so I choose to do something that makes me feel more secure. I use my negative feelings to tell me what needs to be loved and worked on.
RawSuger
masculine/feminine are ridiculously loosely defined, whenever ppl start listing traits they either turn out to be chauvanists or start listing traits that really you want both genders to posess
TNSCLuotaMEa4fVN
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Ritchson
theThousandHells
Thicc-neck Aussie John Krasinski is right
Clockworkdancerobot
What gets defined as masculine or feminine are often too rigid boxes for many people and some people can't handle it when they see others.
n4ted4wg
I can't remember when it was, but I once started listing the qualities that I thought were manly and ended up describing my sisters.
ChopOnBrother2021
Geez he’s a big cunt
JohnSmithterms
Found the aussie .
charondaboatman
Just be a good person, and express yourself in whatever way makes you happy and confident without harming or imposing on anyone else. Develop those traits that are important for you to express - compassion, kindness, strength, powerfulness, doer, thinker, writer, singer, leader, follower, whatever. Be the best version of you, for you.
BladeTurMoiL
Procrastinator, masterbator, eldrich horror, whatever is you.
ErnieDevlin
Opposite of masculinity isn't femininity, it's childishness. Healthy mas/fem are meant as guides to teach children how to be decent adults.
HuCared
And boys: peak masculinity is considered to be a gentle man. It's right there in the word.
Cheetahlover
Great point handsome human Shrek
Calicoastin818
Perfect example I saw a picture of tiny tiger cubs and I said “aaawww” and my buddy in DPS (tough guy) says you sounded like a lil bitch! seriously?
Deleteded
I wish I'd heard more of this when I was younger.
LaffertyDanie1
The societal need to define these kind of things is a bigger problem than what the definition is. It's a sisyphean task that would achieve nothing if we even could do it.
ImgurIsOutOfUsernames
Curious how these sorts of reasonable, level-headed, thoughtful takes on social issues always seem to cone from people from outside the US. Almost as if there are things the rest of the world has figured out that half the US still fails to grasp.
Calicious
The masculinity paradox - if you are afraid of looking feminine then you are a coward, and cowardice is emasculating. To be truly masculine you have to be comfortable expressing femininity when appropriate.
CitrusyGarlic
Personally I love turning the idea of masculinity back onto conservatives. "Why can't you love all of your fellow human beings, are you too weak?" "Are you afraid to respect people who are different than you?"
Goldensands
You want to show love towards your fellow human beings? Stop tolerating their filth. Stop pretending that fascism will simply go away if you just refuse to fight and sit there and wait for nothing.
CitrusyGarlic
Who said I was doing any of that?
RandomQuack
" poor snowflake can't handle the love!"
NaughtButOne
Ehhh. Definitely agree with the intent of the message, but I think it's misguided in a few spots. He's right the way that different people express femininity vs masculinity will be different, but that extends to *how* people express caring, and compassion, etc. A man isn't necessarily expressing femininity when he looks after someone, because we assign gender ideals to *how* you care for someone. Cooing after them, distracting them, or telling them to buck up are all options, but it's a matter >
NaughtButOne
> of the right method for the right person. If you try to boost someone up who's down, when that isn't what *they* want or need, they might perceive it as negative masculine energy.
Regarding the rest of it, yeah, it's never been good to try and stuff people into rigidly defined gender roles - boys or girls. But, there's a hitch in just letting boys "discover who they are" on their own too because a lot of the demands of modern life discourage the things boys are, I will say, 'typically' >
NaughtButOne
> inclined towards. Be quiet, behave, no running, no rough housing, don't wander, don't do anything that might be dangerous... Certainly we have these expectations of girls as well, but these are typically behaviors we associate with 'boyhood' or the masculine, so a LOT of a boy's opportunity to discover masculine parts of his personality is stunted from the get-go. Similarly girls aren't often able to find out if these things interest them, but that's got its own, further complications also. >
NaughtButOne
> Obviously the answer *is not* manosphere bullshit. I'm not saying it is, at all, even a little. But I do think opportunities to explore masculinity are needed, and shouldn't be dismissed as "boys don't need more masculinity". Yep. Okay bye.
MungChomper69420
I liked what he said about the Milking Farm yesterday too
Momster33
As a single Mom of two young boys; THIS! ‘Kind, confident and capable’. Also; I am so GD thirsty all of a sudden………*swooooon!!*
InternetAnonymityplz
This is exactly why people get butthurt about toxic masculinity instead of listening to the message. You are describing textbook toxic masculinity here and conflating it with masculinity in general. There's nothing wrong with being happy about your gender, it's only a problem when that identity is weaponized to hurt others. The concept of masculinity itself is not a problem, though.
Calicious
Gotta be honest, it seems like you didn't watch the whole video. He gave example of toxic and positive masculinity, and countered both by saying that masculinity is simply how we express ourselves.
woemsw
Wreck It Ralph is right.
509tigerfish
Yup! Patriarchy is the cause of this.
Pluppokopter
As a non-binary, i reject and accept both masculinity and femininity. Be ambiguous.
YeastInfectedWhiskerBiscuit
Looks like a lumberjack and speaks like a seasoned psychologist.
Beefkins
Absolute unit of a man out here spitting facts.
astrangehop
I mean, it's probably not great either that we constantly assert that masculinity can never *really* be healthy or positive. We don't do this with any other identity because it's obviously weird and bizarre.
Calicious
I've never seen this in my entire life.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I don't think the concepts of rigid gender *can* ever be really healthy or positive. That's kind of his whole point. They take what it is to be human, and they split it in half and say you have to stay in your half. Even if you try to do that in a positive way, it's not really healthy. It wasn't healthy for women either, but women have broken out of their box somewhat, whereas many men are still desperately trying to hold the box together and push it on other men. That's why masculinity gets /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
addressed as unhealthy far more than femininity does, because women have already been fighting that forced idea of femininity for hundreds of years, and many women have stepped completely outside of it. Men haven't been fighting masculinity though, so it's currently more problematic for men than femininity is for women. /2
IrmasImages
Who constantly asserts that? I've never heard anyone even suggest it.
haggerton
Did you even listen to the post...
astrangehop
"I'm going to explain why masculinity is a prison for men; and even healthy masculinity can't help men and boys.."
RhymingEverything
holy shit bro, look at his hands. But this is a damn good point
Zixtank
Lad's built like Franky from One Piece
givemepickles
He’s giving real life Paul Bunyan energy.
megareader
I can see his accent. I have not unmuted this video and I'm certain I can see his accent.
anoldiebutagoodie
Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!
cytherians
Paul Bunyan is alive and well, no mythological figure!
HandoB4Javert
Years of dealing with spiders in the dunny...
WooNeat
Wreck it Ralph hand energy
arumunus
They need to call him when they inevitably decide to recycle it into a live action.
FunWithUsernames
He must have a ginormous HEART…
Wait, what were you thinking?
No, but seriously, I was just articulating the same point in regard to a post about Tori Amos; being able to experience the FEMINE part of ourselves as men, the ANIMA, as Jung labeled it, is essential to being a better functioning, WHOLE human being.
The guy is as awesome as his huge penis, I mean HANDS!
DocBenny
one slap from one of those and you become 2d
Neanderthalersutopiaphilandrousanteatersotherbrother
Trump is gonna have him deported. Making fun of him like that
BeachsideBarghest
That bloke is an Aussie
firlefranz
Neanderthalersutopiaphilandrousanteatersotherbrother
Then He'll blow up his boat
animi
I bet he has a masculine job.
maincarrot
Statistical analyses and data reconfiguration.
Grizabellakat007
Massage therapist would be fantastic!
bhobby1212
Model
Jewdakris
He harvests entire fields with one handful
khora
Sci-fiction author and heavy machine operator. https://www.instagram.com/lukebateman_/
maincarrot
"we don't need more masculinity" says the man with 900% of masculinity, and probably has some of mine as well.
But I guess that's the point.
(Incoming sarcasm) I am still more of a man than he is! HA!
RhymingEverything
This is a good point. My desire to be seen as masculine went away when I learned how to fix cars, learned how to freestyle rap, learned how to direct social situations, it's about finding a good outlet for your insecurities
maincarrot
Oo.. finding a good outlet for your insecurities... Hm. Never thought of it like that. Always as a way of overcoming them. but do you mean an outlet as a way of embracing your insecurities? Is that also to overcome them, or is it to let you feel comfortable with expressing them?
RhymingEverything
Embracing, yes - I feel insecure so I choose to do something that makes me feel more secure. I use my negative feelings to tell me what needs to be loved and worked on.
maincarrot
I like that. Thank you for sharing a little bit about you :)
lildude52ca
idk what you mean about his hands they look pretty normal to me.. but that dude is Jacked as FUCK
Calicoastin818
yeah you can tell he’s jacked