MilesWolf
414023
17579
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This volume control
Jun 9, 2017 9:28 AM
MilesWolf
414023
17579
265
TheFirstSineOfMadness
lets not forget
v
jonbenwaa
thank you! I was looking for this! +1
MilesWolf
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/search?q=volume&restrict_sr=on
FrustratedOrigamiNovice
Yummy sauce.
TonyStarkWantsOne
qualityraindeer
QWOP-length ran equals volume. GL & HF.
LordDownes
God no! Just tooooo evil
vanella
These are hilarious...I hate them all!!!
OneEyedTrouserCatsnake
Watching porn would be a gamble every time.
KCBeard
TheFirstSineOfMadness
JPrussia
https://gfycat.com/FaithfulRemoteAmericanwarmblood
punchedinthepodcast
notHereToCirclejerk
I could actually hear the music!
MrMooobs
Woah. That was a wild ride
Asaltycashew
Is is got damn incredibly awesome!
EzBomb
I think some of these were part of the Windows 10 update
IDontKnowHowToHuman
That's kind of a good metaphor for why I will never use that virus
drunkill
Missing from this album but I liked the "sorry, user is already using this volume (46) please pick another"
JonnyTHM
Also the one that's a normal volume control except after you set it you need to reboot your computer to make the change
v3rmilion
I like the one where you have to restart the computer to change the volume
Pugabyte
Or the one that asks you to update your volume every frame
idontenglishsorry
Jajajajaj only 100 persons would be able to hear something in standards units, in vlc units the whole universe
Peynus
Thank you, Senor obvious :)
idontenglishsorry
They downvoted you to hell for no reason haha
HahaWubalubadubdubHaha
Probably because most people don't know vlc units therefore it's not "obvious"
CanonInTheStreetsFanonInTheSheets
Wheres the rest of this one
v
PimpMyDadForKarma
That explained the whole thing!
ThelaudMoac
This is fucking brilliant thank you
Mugfan
Fuckin' aweful. +1
Zeroji
I saw this post, and decided to make my own. Now my volume percentage is set by my screen brightness.
juliendg137
This scared me more than an horror movie
LintillaAllitnil
skribs
#3 actually would be pretty cool
SheepInWolfClothing
I know, right?
skribs
Especially if it could normalize between whispers during conversation and loud clangs and booms during action scenes.
samsonguy920
Until that night you want to change it, and your roommate puts on Pavarotti right at the top of a crescendo.
skribs
One reason I thought this was cool. I would be the roommate.
samsonguy920
I like the cut of your jib, mate.
TheSpookyMrSkeltal
What if your mic is way too sensitive?
skribs
You'll learn real fast, adjust the sensitivity, and then people will actually want to skype with you because their ears wont be destroyed
lintwizard
Set your mic sensitivity by listening as hard as you want your microphone to listen.
msa011
lmao
skribs
Then calibrate the two with each other.
TheWaterHorse
Ok some of these are actually kinda clever
LapisSea
how about this one? http://lapissea.byethost8.com/volume-control
hacker00
How do you get it to 100%?
LizardsInTheSky
They're all clever, just mostly useless.
Antezscar
plebs: http://imgur.com/FeIVO1o
SlopSumChum
kuke554
Anyone else mad that #7 doesn't make it to 100%
TimberViking
This is one of the best Imgur posts I have ever seen. I am laughing hysterically.
fostererer
Me too! I am surprised by how much I love it.
PileOfWalthers
Man, this is triggering me so bad. Google: "system crashed when adjusting volume"
Oh4FukSakes
My reaction to any of these
dolphindreamsandsatan
seems about right... :-)
4thesakeofpsyche
such a long and incredibly satisfying gif in response to this post!
n080dy123
JustHere4TheComments
"Volume will be automatically set to how many people you've slept with"
CrazyCatLad
7!
dagg3r
"Mute.... IS NOT A NUMBER!!!"
JustHere4TheComments
what is music?
creaothceann
baby don't hurt me
BatBruce
don't hurt me
JustHere4TheComments
NO...MORE.
dolphindreamsandsatan
OPs Mom's computer will always be at maximum screaming level
theberd
#2 could be worse. If you could miss..
mfgcolour
it wasn't intended to be bad though it was just a tech demo
nebbulae
Now hold on there Satan.
TheFirstSineOfMadness
if satan was a web developer:
v
AAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIEII
Ryebread91
I actually like that one.
orangatuan
.
SgtPepper131
I actually want #2
Cereaza
The Tilt the box one isn't bad either. Looks kinda fun.
fartharder
Overshooting mutes.
AtorTheInvincible
No, no, there's always digital distortion.
numbertwo
I never miss.
samrye
try here https://codepen.io/fullerene60/full/RgNrbq/
JadeMcLeod
.
whenthebioisjustright
That was the most fun I'd had that minute, thanks
CarolMcAlister
That was as fun as I thought it would be.
orangemarmaladesky
http://imgur.com/cWqWrIo
tomyironmane
Amp or Gauss Rifle...?
C0mtraya
Neither, its
tomyironmane
It sounded more like the draconic BWONK which is not "force"
BounderTree
It is if it didn't ask permission first.
KaratekaKid
Yes.
aninvisiblemaniac
if it bounced
Reodreth
What's worse than satan?
MariusRhinox
Eric Sparrow
MyUsernameNeverChecksOut
Lego
Redraz2021
Canadian Goose.
Denbus26
Canadian Devil
HD226868
Satan X-treme.
idonthaveauser
Nobody came up with dual volume controls? Separate controls for ringtone, notifications and media and you can only change the one you hear.
helpidontknowmyname
And don't make it clear that every sound is at a different volume, or where to change any of them.
jore00001
That sounds like my phone and the quick buttons
[deleted]
[deleted]
jore00001
Slowpoke alert, hahah
LtMashumaro
You mean like this?
idonthaveauser
Yup, and also one on the physical speakers. it's a puzzle to balance them out.
Butlet
Like stiche said, hit the drop-down arrow next to the slider and it'll show all three sliders
andrewthemiller
Clearly, very few respondents understood the sarcasm and derision in your comment.
idonthaveauser
Indeed. The current volume controls on many phone/computers already are pretty horrible. Many seem to agree.
Jocowa1999
Video plays. Way to loud. Video pauses. Turn volume down, but in the split second the video paused, volume switched from media to ringtone.
KPopGirlKimi
God dammit android, every single fuckin time.
alapuchki
iPhones too, sadly :/
Andalite
The Moto Z Force lets me control both independently of each other. My alarm is set to max, my ringtone on vibrate and my media on medium
Jocowa1999
Same for my Moto Nexus 6, except when I use the rocker buttons, the minute the media stops, the volume switches to ringtones.
Andalite
Mine too. But hey, at least you can drop down the menu and alter as needed
natabee13
Am I the only one who actually really likes that?
Vedar
I do. I'm actually confused why people wouldn't.
TheRealHMint
That's my cars audio system! The navi just screamed at me and my ears bleed, but I have to wait until it screams again to turn it down...
WhyDontICare
Where I used to work I would set the volume for the TA to max and turn TA on when ever I had used a pool car. It's the small things...
Mooninites
Fucking seriously. Like why the fuck would they think that's preferable?
Vaenaemoenen
But what about the buttons always being too small? Like do they know that people use fingers to navigate?
swatz
I don't know when it changed, but on my android you ther'es a little drop down arrow, when you adjust one you can drop it down to adjust <
swatz
>(and see) them all.
laddercrash
Damn you, Samsung.
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
There should be a button to expand the box to include all controls when it pops up.
BrianESpilner
There is! Just tap the down arrow next to the volume bar. At least on Nougat.
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
My old phone came with Kit Kat, and I'm pretty sure it was in it even then. So it should be in most phones from Android 4 onward
JlHADJOE
There's a gear button when I use the volume control which I can tap to see all sliders. My device runs 5.01
Mooninites
Oh it's apple too.
Executor32
"Damn you, Android," really. AFAIK all Android devices have volume controls like that, I know my Moto Z and all my other past devices have.
KeeleonOhms
Lol it has to be playing media for the media volume to work. Its a crap shoot hoping my phones not too loud when starting a video.
dritter31
You know there is this "arrow" to the right that opens the other volume controls....?
KeeleonOhms
I do know that. It doesnt make it less frustrating. The ringer volume is either on or off why would i want to default adjust it?
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
There's normally an arrow to the right of the current volume control. Just hit vol. Up/down then the arrow, and you get all of them there
JonR303
Yeah it's just so hard to minimize volume when finishing a video or any other media..
ImguriansFillMySaltReservoir
Everyone keeps saying their phone, but my laptop does this when I plug headphones in, my normal volume is 40% but plug them in and 100%
peeweesweden
That's because for Windows, playing through speakers and headphones are two different devices, with separate volume.
Ireallylikepuzzles
Ubuntu does the same thing
Scottchr
Same thing with Mac OS
gablestout
You literally just described the volume control on my phone. (you have to open the drop down to access all three volume controls)
Pegas868
In my phone media slider only applies to music player, while applications have separate shared slider which can be accessed [1/2]
Pegas868
- you guessed it - only when app that's playing sound is running.
Electrogourd
yeah and I love it personally
Andalite
What's worse? Bring able to control all three at will or having to listen to each one, one at a time to control them?
JonR303
How else would you like to control them? Everything in one slider? Different physical buttons for each?
philsnow
I remember when android had seven volume sliders https://lh6.ggpht.com/EVbEDVnh7nn_29fk_9TWXQoj__dA2pFbUG3urFn71FegdzzMXvknDAR9u4yvJwcO=h310
jrblast
Sometimes it shows me the drop down and sometimes it doesn't. No idea when or why.
laddercrash
I'm pretty sure that's exact what they were referencing. Samsung?
Prunebane
ASUS tablet here, also got the three zits, even though I only ever mess with my media volume.
taghashtag
And Apple
JonnyTHM
Not sure what Apple product you're using, but that's not how it works on my phone.
NeverGetsTheNuke
I think Android OS in the general. Same on my Motorola
SpringToMyWinter
I actually like #5
BronzeLeaguePro
You need help.
ImFrank
Always being able to pinpoint the exact level of volume I want? Sounds fucking perfect.
Tinkrr
Not going to lie, I like this one too. Allows for exact selection and can go from 1 to 100 a lot quicker if I wanted.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Agreed! That might even work out BETTER for me than turning the analog knob on my speaker.
TachyonCode
I just use the +/- buttons on my 10-key to control volume, when I have the option. Is best answer.
Kestrel21
At least I wouldn't have to deal with those moments where one pixel is 49% and the one next to it is 51% :/
n080dy123
Aaaaaagh those are THE WORST.
DrEgg
you mean you don't expect it to miss-click a neighbouring radio button at random
DuckyofDeath123
SATAN! I SEE YOU! i LOVE YOU!
Locolarue
Yep. In order to make it worse, randomly shuffle the numbers around.
KtotheUZGandaUn
And only have 10 random numbers show up for every shuffle, which happens every half-second.
kubi
And change the base.
taiiat
calm down satan
RiverRoyal
The only tech development that has gone backwards is volume control. An analogue roller volume controller is better than digital control.
usersubbordercontrol
I've built tons of volume sliders for computers and Android phones. They're not hard to DIY...
ceolsige
I have OCD and can only have the volume set to a select few numbers. An analogue dial would be fanfreakingtastic!
ceolsige
Which, they do exist, but the number usually displays somewhere. I want a dial with no numbers, haha.
DarkUranium
Wouldn't be hard to make a rotary encoder (not unlike the ones on Hi-Fi systems), that presents itself as a USB keyboard. (1/2)
DarkUranium
Maybe even make it so that pushing it in mutes or unmutes the audio. (2/2)
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
My keyboard has one, Corsair K70. Not too uncommon on mechanical keyboards.
DarkUranium
Not quite what I meant, though (rotate it 90 deg, and then it will be).
waxwingslain
I use a Universal Audio Apollo audio interface, has analog volume knobs that can be also controlled in the software, best of both worlds!
norill
i couldn't disagree more. "57%" is a lot more precise than "somewhere in the middle and a bit more, no wait, too far"
therealprometheus
Especially for cars imo
PeteTusk
I can think of many others. My phone's Wifi controls require me to disconnect to even see if I'm connected, and often break in other ways.
ourari
Some keyboards come with a built-in analog volume controller, like one of the Das Keyboard models.
kiwiflavored
I use the side wheel of my mouse as volume control.
justahumanonline
we used to have an old dell computer and besides having dedicated media control buttons, it also had a volume knob.
fuckyouandyourwittyusername
Wouldn't it still be digital? Given that it'd be outputting over USB, wouldn't it just be a knob/roller outputting a digital signal?
ourari
Yes. I think we're using analog in this instance as a substitute for physical or tactile.
ElJefeLives
Yep. Das Keyboard 4 has it and I absolutely love it along with the media controls, mechanical keys, and 2 built-in USB 3.0 ports.
ClaustrophobicOxtopus
Yep. Love the one on my k70
TheBreadlord
Those always break for me on Logitech keyboards immediately after the warranty runs out. The rest of it works flawlessly forever but not vol
turnip001
Not the only one. Digital cameras are much harder to manually adjust than my old Pentax. Also seen some stupid GPS interfaces in cars.
Arconyte
How so? You typically turn a knob or turn a knob while pressing a button... You don't even have to switch film to adjust iso etc...
turnip001
There's advantages too and some are better than others. Manual focus in particular is terrible on my Nikon.
Arconyte
You just twist, do you not? I'm not understanding.
turnip001
Not on my camera. My point is there's plenty of difficult interfaces out there. I've had some pretty bad DVD players and set top boxes too.
Lukapaka
Ah yes, I miss the old analog GPS. (maps)
BronzeLeaguePro
You know what really sucks balls? It's 2017 and we still can't mouse scroll the volume controls outside of Linux. Please MS. Do it.
AuroraNora33
That would be nice
omnirock
*scrolls volume* wat?
Sacurason
Um. I can on Win10.
tirrock
I just tried on win10, it worked fine. But I've also had keyboard volume controls for about 12 years now, so never tried before that.
BronzeLeaguePro
I did tried it yesterday. Hover mouse over volume icon. Scrolled. Nothing happened.
xdevo
It requires you to click on the volume icon, then you can scroll with the mouse wheel.
BronzeLeaguePro
That's NOT just scrolling over the volume. It's twice the number of steps!
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
Um, what? That's how I adjust volume on VLC, in-browser Netflix and ...huh, I only use those two. Look outside your ecosystem, brah
JHawke
I think he means that in some linux desktop environments that's not something the application has to be capable of, the OS is.
sum1else
Works on Windows 8.1 as well.
samsonguy920
I just did it with Win 7
skeeter1997
What's up with #6?
TachyonCode
The worst possible one on here, I think.
thegriffin88
Curling.
Palfrost
gif is also broken for me
dolphindreamsandsatan
curling
v1nsai
All these are from /r/ProgrammerHumor , that one was called Control Volume with cURL, which is a library for returning web data.
v1nsai
And then curling is also a sport so that was the joke
IDontKnowHowToHuman
reediculous84
Reminds me of Jippie.com? Used to plat tank, golf, etc back in 2001/2002, anyone know if there is still a version around?
lucymax
The gif should have included that broom moving back and forth to help the volume indicator move forward.
IAmNewHere
You should have to control the broom.
eightbitrevolt
It did, if you hover or click on the #6 there it shows the full thing. Guessing it's just broken in the post.
grimwyrd
You want the volume up?
Inimposter
"You want it up the ass?"
ExpectoPatr0num
Wow, you found a completely fitting curling gif. That's like level 9 internetting.
LarvaLamp
Oh that's perfect.
FastF0x
Oh, it was broken for me too. Your link plays it through though. I wouldn't have thought it's this tough.
interiorcrocodileferaligatr
Though though though though Though though though though Though though though though Though though though though Though though though though
tomyironmane
through
alsoAzrael
trough.
usersubbordercontrol
Not mobile..
gablestout
I've noticed that happening lately...probably some new feature ;)
lordlicoricederp
Same. I thought it was some surrealist art thing, or a portal to a bizarre dimension.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
It's become common for me for some gif comments to not play. It seems random, but when it happens they wont play no matter how I open them.
tomyironmane
hell, it wouldn't do the whole thing for me without the link either. Some new "Feature?"
TracyAllenParks
It's a Scottish thing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curling
tomyironmane
... and here I thought they just chucked telephone poles around for fun.
wajaba
And a huge thing in Canada
PigMarshBetweenTwoSaltWaters
Not anymore. The Canadians stole it.
2and900
Dame Canadians, they ruined Scotland!
goflyblind
you've just made an enemy for life!
KtotheUZGandaUn
Canadians have enemies?
TracyAllenParks
you mean the Scots who migrated to Canada took it with them :-)
[deleted]
[deleted]
PigMarshBetweenTwoSaltWaters
Hey, fuck you bro.
SociallyAwkwardCanadianMoose
Funny family couldn't pay rent lol
JustinFooteXLV
It's a game of curling.
StellarJay77
Also called covfefe.
mastercontributhor
Bahaha awesome.
angusman161
Canadians need to win at lease one game in high school to graduate
Kronzor
That's not really true. Most of us actually don't start curling until after highschool once we're allowed to drink. The rule is winner buys.
TotalCuntrol
As a Canadian, I concur
DogSanta
you concurl?
TotalCuntrol
LoBrow
"Volume is automatically set to the equivalent number of friends you currently have"
ProxyPlayerHD
-10
Hyrrokken
Oh so thats why i have no sound on imgur?
OhDragon
Careless whispers ....
RandAIFlagg
ah, the blessed mute button
Vibesx
Hello silence my old friend...
b1ohazard777
WHAT?
Golidog
Pardon?
brennousesmemewrong
Everything is a gif now
AJMansfield
Hmm, it would be interesting to see if that'd form sone kind of feedback loop where you gain and lose friends due to the volume.
MrSpankalot
I will forever have my volume set to 0
JustYourAverageImgurian
Post something controversial online and your volume suddenly plummets.
CeleryBathtub2k19
Exucse me? Could you speak louder, I can't hear you
Uzernaime
That's ok, I'm used to the silence....
MattyMoo728
Friends are only things people say they have to make them feel better about their social lives
TheFirstCurse
that's no fair... im at the office and it's set at 1....
TipsyJohnson
What??? I can't hear you.
AtomicChocolate
I guess I'm gonna be muted then.
youngcleanheir
My volume is at 2, but it's a good volume.
missacherus
Fuck you!
imnotinprisonhidingaphoneinmybutt
Hello?
HeatFromFire
Why even bother having speakers at that point?
JustALurkerPassingThrough
Soo i have mute friends?
SpacedPinata
Well then why the fuck can't I hear anythi..... Oh
AskMeIfImFunAtParties
Closed captioning it is.
Howwiiee
My ears are ringing
GavinScreaming
If we're saying friends that we talk to at least once a week I'll probably get about 20-30 volume. Nice!
lightpanic
Negative 5. The volume control makes me deaf.
SaikyoStyle
Volume buttons can't go over 100.
emethian
WHAT DID HE SAY!?
Temptedweeds
What counts as a friend?
SheepInWolfClothing
As an extrovert: But I don't WANT my volume to be at more than 100!
FruitsmakemeToots
Forty two and a half?
IDontKnowHowToHuman
in that case, I've been rapidly going deaf this year, and earlier this week lost my left ear entirely.
transferswitch
What?
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz1234567892
So low I won't need turn it down to find their house
HillaryBanks
does my cat count?
PretzelDickbutt
"I have no friends.." "Oh, well then listen to some music to get your mind off things." "Q_Q"
actioncheese
I cant turn mute off
BDBones
At least I know I just need to come to imgur to mute my music.
dankestofwads
Why is there no music playing?
TotallyNotTheNSAGuys
Damn. One.
SpartaWolf117
The volume is set to: Guess what number I'm thinking of.
JEMbalaya
What? I can't hear you with my 0 friends
SeriouslyAwkward
Wow I feel sorry for those posers with 100s to thousands of friends on Facebook and such. Theyre gonna be deaf lol
soljaboss
I think theres something wrong with my speakers
Nebelwespe
But then I'd never hear anything.
fructoric
That is why my wife says I am going deaf.
GigglesMeister
Soooo... zero?
Nipplebuttsalad
You mean mute?
SatansLeftNipple
Facebook or real life?
iOffend
2
JstAnothrLurkr
What was that?
SuperTacticalSandwich
0
andnosobabin
All I can hear is op's moms music and I live in another country!
4thesakeofpsyche
that would be pretty loud. Are we counting real or all (including social media)?
alliwantforchristmasisdiehard
BoobsWilly
Mute but so am I.
ajonkadonkas
" What ? "
ShkingsFuego
Why cant I hear anything then?
stevelite
Facebook friends?
LikeTotallyNotTheNSA
.000004317851
Istoleyourbooks
Does facebook friends count? I don't have facebook but think about the poor bastard with 500 fake friends.
DuckyofDeath123
And all his neighbours... that level of sound pressure is something you would expect in a Mythbusters experiment on a bomb range...
OriginalNameDoNotSteal
Think about the poor bastard who has 500 fake friends IRL
OriginalNameDoNotSteal
BrokenInAndOut
do my imaginary friends count?
IDontKnowHowToHuman
I only have 2 imaginary friends, and they're more like family than friends really so they might not even count.
TylerTheAnarchist
No but Imgur friends count..... Hey there.
BrokenInAndOut
hey there!
GlamCocker
Only if they like you
BrokenInAndOut
:'( There it goes my vol
whitevfute
I can still hear it
Kimurain
very very quietly perhaps
liveshades
Tinnitus doesn't count.
ImSuperBad
Yeah, keep telling yourself that
Gator1896
What?
greendogblue
He said he can- HE SAID HE CAN STILL HEAR IT
leonbloodbane
What?
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
You don't need to lie to us.
amishcannoli
We're all friends here.
DarthProwse
Well...
TheDuke0fHazzard
I'm not your friend, buddy.
amishcannoli
I'm not your buddy, guy.
igniskonig
Volume = number of imgur users.
CerealFirstOrWaterFirst
late but, Volume = Num of upvotes x .001
medsal15
MY EARS
SoThatsWhere
Volume = volume of imgur users.
SgtKnux
https://333sound.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/volumeknob_halftoned.jpg
Triatticus
What about volume equals average imgur IQ?
arebenji
So like, maybe 1 or 2? Is everyone judged off of some universal average friend per person? rigged. Also, do my pets count? if not then, 0.
tomyironmane
Dogs count. Possibly cats. And any reptile you can pet without getting bitten scratched or constricted. But not fish.
FirePrinceZuzu
Wha...? Why don't I count? :( What if I only release poison sometimes, can I be friends with you then? I'm so lonely :'(
tomyironmane
vipers are not poisonous. they're venomous. And that's even worse than being bitten.
pgdave
Remember, most people have fewer friends than the average number of friends that their friends have.
KnucleheadFlow
Some beautiful shit itt here people
Golfnwrx
Women always have friends. Me, I have to pay them, so currently none.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
I'm a girl and I'm your friend!
usersubbordercontrol
If you're reading this, you're my friend.
AntiDownVoteActivist
:D https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/35/f7/c5/35f7c57c75da78e9aa33f2d724047a5d.jpg
OhKittyWhoaKitty
You're my friend, too!
UnexpectedThanos
Finally I hear something..
wajaba
Not to devalue your statement, but Id bet there are a lot of people who'd be offended by you saying that. I promise there are more people /2
Qumefox
What about people who call themselves your friend, but in no way act like it? That's pretty much what I have.
wajaba
Think of your parents, i cant be certain of your life, but im sure theyre your friends too. Coworkers, peers.. you have then
arebenji
you're very kind! i am prone to occasional exaggeration for the purpose of making a point, or more typically, self deprecation. ty friend.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
I'm gonna be your friend, too! I'll even make you a friendship bracelet like in the early 90's and mail it to you.
spellbolourwithak
Did I just see each of your volumes go up?
wajaba
Out there who think of you as a friend than you think, stay positive dude! Just because you're not super close doesnt meam your not friends
JohannVonTittySprinkles
*meme B-)
LincolnSiixEcho
Thanks........friend
687474703a2f2f692e696d6775722e636f6d2f345445577138502e6a7067
I'm not your friend, buddy.
arebenji
also, will you be my friend?
wajaba
Yeah sure! Aha