Early in the online dating thing I signed up on one of the first dating sights. they actually came back and said that they didn't have anyone who was a match for me. Today I think they would just grab a name at random and send it my way.
I'm older, lucky to not have every teenage stupidity recorded. Still no kids. In great part for environmental reasons. The internet still looked like a great promise of learning and connection accessible around the globe, but climate change and destruction of eco systems was well underway. It didn't feel safe.
Population decline across the 1st world predates Tinder, Facebook, Instagram and cellphones by several decades. If he wants to argue that they make things worse, then sure. But the decline was already well-entrenched by the time the first social media app was born.
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
I wish I had grandchildren, but I understand why I don't. My progeny don't want to bring kids into this messed up world; they feel that it would be cruel.
No one's ever abused me, I live and was born in the happiest country in the world but I saw where we were headed 20 years ago and decided I'm not gonna make anyone go through the shit we're heading for.
I'm talking about the planet burning, the billions of immigrants, the water, food and land shortages. The wars and the rise of global fascism that feeds and grows on all of that.
Enshitification isn’t about ad algorithms. It’s the fact that data is the product now. Not ad revenue, not product or service, just data collection. This also leans towards keeping you there but even broken apps and shitty websites can track your data. A click is a click and creates a data point on you which can be sold like commodities.
Nah, I don't want kids and my wife either, cuz the world is total sh** rn and it get worse everyday. If you are a responsible adult, you don't want that for your kids.
Someone who lives in their own bubble and speaks of their own experience as if its fact for all. He may make some points, but he's making a lot of declarative statements and painting with a broad brush, without providing a single fact or statistic. It comes off more as "I experience x, therefore things are x, because of x" it's all nonsense conjecture.
In my generation age 30 was when babies started popping out everywhere. The big 3-0 is when you irrevocably feel like an adult, settling down, biological clocks ticking for women, etc
Dont get me wrong when I say this. I love my kids. But, getting kids was the worst economic and personal decision I have ever made. I am divorced now, living with my dad at age 42. I cant afford my own apartment. I barely make ends meet. And my chances to find love again are zero. Even if you manage to get kids, marriage doesnt work. No one is ready anymore to spend the rest of their lifes with someone. 70% of divorced are initiated by women. 90% even when they are college educated.
And fuck all those people saying shit like “you can’t put the genie back in the bottle” or similar stuff about how these things have already been invented and it’s too late. Cause that doesn’t seem to stop countries from regulating when a new chemical is invented but the second it’s an app or a website or some other tech innovation all of a sudden it’s government overreach.
oh dear, yet another theory without supporting data ... birth rates declined long before ANY of this was invented ... and the factors are well known by now ... mostly economic reasons like: cost of child-rearing, house prices, female labor participation ... and yes development, education of a country and access to contraceptives
This argument is really reductive. It's more complicated than just dating algorithms and vindictive women. For example: Low wages, video games, internet pornography, lack of third spaces, lower teen pregnancy (sex education, birth control, abortion), precarious working conditions (gig work, "independant contract", no unions), Andrew Tate. There's lots of reasons that people are having fewer kids and dating less. This is a complex multifaceted issue.
This video is under two minutes in length. Calling it reductive because it doesn't check every bullet point is wild. It's to bring attention to the issues and allow people to look into it more if they choose while not melting people's brains with too much information to the point they lose interest.
His answer is a wild oversimplification, and he doesn't frame it as just a part of a large problem. He's framing the issue as having a narrow swath of related causes. I'm not asking for an exhaustive list, just an acknowledgement that this is just part of the cause. "I think part of the cause is..."
I will down vote every time because i know this person speaks from zero source and 100% opinion which should not be reposted as much as it is. It's dumb fodder
Look ive been young and thought my hot take might be reality but i know to do more than just look around my immediate vicinity and be like, yes. It must be true. It's dumb
You're catching downvotes, but you're absolutely correct.
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
I'm not saying there isn't a point to be made, but this is the most in attune and inaccurate way to do it. KiDs DoNt DaNcE yes they do don't use your own experience as a statistic.
I'd rather this uninformed opinion not get repeated. He's dead wrong as to the cause of us having fewer children.
Wealthy is inversely correlated with birth rate and we don't fully understand the underlying mechanisms. Even though it's not evenly distributed, we live in a time of extreme abundance. Compared to a century ago, even the lower quartile lives like kings.
You admit we don’t fully understand the underlying mechanisms; well the video is simply suggesting one of them. Wealth and behavioral shifts aren't competing theories. The extreme abundance you mention is exactly what funds and fuels the technological isolation he's talking about.
I wont conclude on his basis alone - but he's not entirely wrong either.
Birth rates have been dropping for well over a century across the entire Western world. Other countries follow suit as they modernize and become wealthy.
This guy isn't someone carefully putting forward an idea that may potentially explain a phenomenon, so don't insult our intelligence with that bullshit cope. He's pulling all of this out of his ass to push a particular political narrative.
Dismissing the impact of digital isolation today just because birth rates were already dropping is like saying social media didn't change communication because we already had the postal service. His argument absolutely has faults, but it also has truth.
Right on the money. The audio is the repetition that gives us the comfort of what we already know, and the specific visual re-enactment is the variation. It gives the brain just enough novelty to enjoy the exact same punchline a hundred times. (Mind though… if executed poorly, the message suffers from it)
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
There’s shades of truth in the themes he’s touching upon, but he’s speaking in sweeping absolutes that 1) boost the perceived credibility of his rhetoric, and 2) simply don’t apply as universally as he’s claiming they do. You can tell the two older minds at the table appreciate his persoective and zeal, but seem amused as he lacks the wisdom of nuance
I interpret this a lot less charitably. I see it as someone just making shit up to push a particular political agenda. I broadly agree with what he thinks should be done, but I refuse to walk a path paved with lies.
That’s fair. It’s not uncommon for those with less life experience to have more passion for what they’re talking about than knowing what they’re actually talking about, so I find this guy more naive than insidious 👍
He says “GDP is up,” as though that was proof that folks can afford kids. Even if you’re not staving, the cost of childcare needs to be considered in family planning
Everyone I went to high school and college with is the same, no kids... there is this one 'normal' girl who has a daughter... that's it... the rest refused.
We only had kids by accident and most of our friends didn't have any. Ain't nobody got time for that. Afford a low income life with some small comforts or try to raise small humans on no money and not let the stressors of no time to yourself impact how you function. It impossible.
Yeah, this is it for me. I don't feel that I have time to have kids when working full time, and that full time job just pays me the bare minimum to survive.
You are not in the majority late fifties. Even I mid-forties have one child while absolutely everyone I know having at least one child. But it is 50:50 1:2… there are the freak catholic families with 9 each tho.
I'm in my mid 50's, married 23 years, 1 kids zero monies. I went to college and had a great career until my mental health cratered. Now we're scraping by on SSDI. I'm deeply worried about my 15 year old kid's future. 🫤
45, married for 15 years, also no kids and three money. Every time we came to a decision point like “maybe we should have a kid?” the answer was just “no”. In popular culture there’s this romantic myth that when you love somebody you just want to have babies together despite any potentially negative circumstances or consequences, but we’ve reached a point where there’s so many discouraging things it’s felt at every point like the loving thing to do was to keep opting out of procreation.
thinking about the homeless guy with tinfoil saying stuff about the evil corporations installing spyware into your life and stealing everything you ever seen, made or thought and then using that information to create a souless machine thats only purpose is to do all that much better and for some reason killing iranian school girls? Yeah bob was a prophet.
battousai124
I noticed that 15 years ago, you guys are getting there late
hanmerhack
Early in the online dating thing I signed up on one of the first dating sights. they actually came back and said that they didn't have anyone who was a match for me. Today I think they would just grab a name at random and send it my way.
crespomodesto
they say it's over... feeling fine... again... (yeah)
spinymouse
I'm older, lucky to not have every teenage stupidity recorded. Still no kids. In great part for environmental reasons. The internet still looked like a great promise of learning and connection accessible around the globe, but climate change and destruction of eco systems was well underway. It didn't feel safe.
MisterWoolf
Population decline across the 1st world predates Tinder, Facebook, Instagram and cellphones by several decades. If he wants to argue that they make things worse, then sure. But the decline was already well-entrenched by the time the first social media app was born.
Arctera
CaptainScarfish
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
tinyfootprints
I wish I had grandchildren, but I understand why I don't. My progeny don't want to bring kids into this messed up world; they feel that it would be cruel.
FelonyRaptor
No one's ever abused me, I live and was born in the happiest country in the world but I saw where we were headed 20 years ago and decided I'm not gonna make anyone go through the shit we're heading for.
I'm talking about the planet burning, the billions of immigrants, the water, food and land shortages. The wars and the rise of global fascism that feeds and grows on all of that.
fknbastard
Enshitification isn’t about ad algorithms. It’s the fact that data is the product now. Not ad revenue, not product or service, just data collection. This also leans towards keeping you there but even broken apps and shitty websites can track your data. A click is a click and creates a data point on you which can be sold like commodities.
Columbus43219
Maybe a little abuse to the person who edited the vertical video is understandable.
DOcelot1
Also, the cost of living is so high, having kids is simply no longer economically viable for many people
Oracklostintheweb
Nah, I don't want kids and my wife either, cuz the world is total sh** rn and it get worse everyday. If you are a responsible adult, you don't want that for your kids.
Kangadilla
Someone who lives in their own bubble and speaks of their own experience as if its fact for all. He may make some points, but he's making a lot of declarative statements and painting with a broad brush, without providing a single fact or statistic. It comes off more as "I experience x, therefore things are x, because of x" it's all nonsense conjecture.
BobJones786
This guy is a pair of Rayban's and a bowler hat away from being Cousin It.
cgt9803
In my generation age 30 was when babies started popping out everywhere. The big 3-0 is when you irrevocably feel like an adult, settling down, biological clocks ticking for women, etc
ScottPaul57
In my generation it started right after High School, quite often while still in High School.......
ThisIsYourLifeNow
Dont get me wrong when I say this. I love my kids. But, getting kids was the worst economic and personal decision I have ever made. I am divorced now, living with my dad at age 42. I cant afford my own apartment. I barely make ends meet. And my chances to find love again are zero. Even if you manage to get kids, marriage doesnt work. No one is ready anymore to spend the rest of their lifes with someone. 70% of divorced are initiated by women. 90% even when they are college educated.
afemaledeer1924
And fuck all those people saying shit like “you can’t put the genie back in the bottle” or similar stuff about how these things have already been invented and it’s too late. Cause that doesn’t seem to stop countries from regulating when a new chemical is invented but the second it’s an app or a website or some other tech innovation all of a sudden it’s government overreach.
yamsonyamsonyams
When I was 30, none of my friends had kids
Now, most of them do
Turns out you can have kids in your 30s
UnlimitedTrickPony
oh dear, yet another theory without supporting data ... birth rates declined long before ANY of this was invented ... and the factors are well known by now ... mostly economic reasons like: cost of child-rearing, house prices, female labor participation ... and yes development, education of a country and access to contraceptives
RagnartheCat
To be fair, birth control plays a pretty big role.
aramis44
Birth control is just a tool, not an underlying cause. If not the birth control, there would be way more shady abortions.
RagnartheCat
I agree, and I also agree with this man's ideas as well.
allergictocantaloupe
This argument is really reductive. It's more complicated than just dating algorithms and vindictive women. For example: Low wages, video games, internet pornography, lack of third spaces, lower teen pregnancy (sex education, birth control, abortion), precarious working conditions (gig work, "independant contract", no unions), Andrew Tate. There's lots of reasons that people are having fewer kids and dating less. This is a complex multifaceted issue.
bril350
Just gonna point out the guy never said anything about “vindictive women” so thats a you thing dude
sindail
This video is under two minutes in length. Calling it reductive because it doesn't check every bullet point is wild. It's to bring attention to the issues and allow people to look into it more if they choose while not melting people's brains with too much information to the point they lose interest.
allergictocantaloupe
His answer is a wild oversimplification, and he doesn't frame it as just a part of a large problem. He's framing the issue as having a narrow swath of related causes. I'm not asking for an exhaustive list, just an acknowledgement that this is just part of the cause. "I think part of the cause is..."
sindail
You're so totally right! /S
Did you even watch the video? Here's some highlights.
normalizebeingalone
I will down vote every time because i know this person speaks from zero source and 100% opinion which should not be reposted as much as it is. It's dumb fodder
normalizebeingalone
Look ive been young and thought my hot take might be reality but i know to do more than just look around my immediate vicinity and be like, yes. It must be true. It's dumb
CaptainScarfish
You're catching downvotes, but you're absolutely correct.
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
normalizebeingalone
I'm not saying there isn't a point to be made, but this is the most in attune and inaccurate way to do it. KiDs DoNt DaNcE yes they do don't use your own experience as a statistic.
ChewyTheWookie
Repost as much as you like
LiarLiarPantsUntier
I agree with your sentiment - but the human brain grows bored without variation - we need the same thing, but said differently by another person.
Repetition builds reinforcement, but variation is what keeps the message alive.
CaptainScarfish
I'd rather this uninformed opinion not get repeated. He's dead wrong as to the cause of us having fewer children.
Wealthy is inversely correlated with birth rate and we don't fully understand the underlying mechanisms. Even though it's not evenly distributed, we live in a time of extreme abundance. Compared to a century ago, even the lower quartile lives like kings.
LiarLiarPantsUntier
You admit we don’t fully understand the underlying mechanisms; well the video is simply suggesting one of them. Wealth and behavioral shifts aren't competing theories. The extreme abundance you mention is exactly what funds and fuels the technological isolation he's talking about.
I wont conclude on his basis alone - but he's not entirely wrong either.
CaptainScarfish
Birth rates have been dropping for well over a century across the entire Western world. Other countries follow suit as they modernize and become wealthy.
This guy isn't someone carefully putting forward an idea that may potentially explain a phenomenon, so don't insult our intelligence with that bullshit cope. He's pulling all of this out of his ass to push a particular political narrative.
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Dismissing the impact of digital isolation today just because birth rates were already dropping is like saying social media didn't change communication because we already had the postal service. His argument absolutely has faults, but it also has truth.
ChewyTheWookie
Does that explain Instagram posts that re-enact a conversation and lip-sync the dialogue?
https://www.instagram.com/reels/DTQ8ka3khoW/
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Right on the money. The audio is the repetition that gives us the comfort of what we already know, and the specific visual re-enactment is the variation. It gives the brain just enough novelty to enjoy the exact same punchline a hundred times. (Mind though… if executed poorly, the message suffers from it)
ChewyTheWookie
ziralien
I dunno who this dude is, but he kinda spittin.
Canigetbannedagain2
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bDFycWdqcmgzcmVxamwxZXhjOTc2d2lkN2hnZHJiNXJrM2lhd2FsaiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/NxMBCwPCq2DbG/200w.webp
JustFeedMePieDammit
Dot for dude identification
BatmanAndCradleRobin
dude-ification
CaptainScarfish
What this guy is saying has no historical precedent or academic backing. He's literally just yapping. We have decades of research that shows wealthy people have fewer children and poorer people have more.
Just because he's saying things that align with our political persuasion that doesn't mean we get to ignore science that contradicts it.
konmari
There’s shades of truth in the themes he’s touching upon, but he’s speaking in sweeping absolutes that 1) boost the perceived credibility of his rhetoric, and 2) simply don’t apply as universally as he’s claiming they do. You can tell the two older minds at the table appreciate his persoective and zeal, but seem amused as he lacks the wisdom of nuance
CaptainScarfish
I interpret this a lot less charitably. I see it as someone just making shit up to push a particular political agenda. I broadly agree with what he thinks should be done, but I refuse to walk a path paved with lies.
konmari
That’s fair. It’s not uncommon for those with less life experience to have more passion for what they’re talking about than knowing what they’re actually talking about, so I find this guy more naive than insidious 👍
konmari
I’m too indifferent to research this dude further, but I’m sure a little context on him would immediately bring a little clarity to his intentions
crystal0forte
Some. His point about why we're not having kids completely glosses over how people are struggling financially. A lot of us can't afford food
ghostofGracchusBabeuf
He says “GDP is up,” as though that was proof that folks can afford kids. Even if you’re not staving, the cost of childcare needs to be considered in family planning
elbowdeepinawhateverthatis
“GDP is up” yeah, for the billionaires and now goddamn trillionaires, down for everybody else.
TheRicM
He is 30 Years Old, he said so right at the beginning
Monmortmeplait
Hi 30 Years Old, I’m Not A Dad.
ImtheEyeintheSky
His name is Connor Leahy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connor_Leahy He is speaking at the 2025 Nexus Conference.
https://youtu.be/m1xBW56j4yA?is=ftwA0Cmyu2MQhaOj
SheTurnedMeIntoaMeeka
Thank you
bippityboppitybuttsex
I am in my late 50s, been married for 30+ years.
Zero Kids, Three Money.
Everyone I went to high school and college with is the same, no kids... there is this one 'normal' girl who has a daughter... that's it... the rest refused.
ChewyTheWookie
DOH!
areyouelonmusk
We only had kids by accident and most of our friends didn't have any. Ain't nobody got time for that. Afford a low income life with some small comforts or try to raise small humans on no money and not let the stressors of no time to yourself impact how you function. It impossible.
mouthfullofpebbles
Yeah, this is it for me. I don't feel that I have time to have kids when working full time, and that full time job just pays me the bare minimum to survive.
SleazyBijou
You are not in the majority late fifties. Even I mid-forties have one child while absolutely everyone I know having at least one child. But it is 50:50 1:2… there are the freak catholic families with 9 each tho.
bippityboppitybuttsex
I also grew up in NYC... The economics of child raising are slightly more violent
SleazyBijou
I can imagine.
RicheTheBuddha
I'm in my mid 50's, married 23 years, 1 kids zero monies. I went to college and had a great career until my mental health cratered. Now we're scraping by on SSDI. I'm deeply worried about my 15 year old kid's future. 🫤
Azazael79
Three money... I'm dying.. :D
ACENILC
I understood that reference lol
bippityboppitybuttsex
The average cost to raise a child from birth through age 18 in the United States is $303,418... that is a fucking house. And mine is paid off.
PainGwen
45, married for 15 years, also no kids and three money. Every time we came to a decision point like “maybe we should have a kid?” the answer was just “no”.
In popular culture there’s this romantic myth that when you love somebody you just want to have babies together despite any potentially negative circumstances or consequences, but we’ve reached a point where there’s so many discouraging things it’s felt at every point like the loving thing to do was to keep opting out of procreation.
graehall
It's so jarring having gone from being excited about technology from the 90s to 2010s to now expecting each new thing will make life worse
areyouelonmusk
The future promises were used for evil
BatmanAndCradleRobin
thinking about the homeless guy with tinfoil saying stuff about the evil corporations installing spyware into your life and stealing everything you ever seen, made or thought and then using that information to create a souless machine thats only purpose is to do all that much better and for some reason killing iranian school girls? Yeah bob was a prophet.
umpbumpfizz
The Torment Nexus was never a single piece of technology. That was the neat part of the trick.
graehall
And that's where we are, each new software update & piece of hardware, nearly always makes shit worse for us & makes billions for sociopaths
zwielichtengelchen
But at least we can look forward to the next Torment Nexus (tm) release!