New Doom expansion

Apr 8, 2020 5:12 PM

HotCoffee9520

Views

227731

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9394

Dislikes

253

Doom: Quarantine

That evidence’ll cost him extra in the divorce settlement.

6 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

she's texting her next husband my dude

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

leave your mom alone

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Nice way to humble-brag bout that hot wife

6 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 4

She has to fight him. Where's her gun and vid? Leaf blowers and TP with wire holders are hillarious.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

No chance, she's not gonna waste TP on him.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

WHAT A DICK !!!

6 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

Divorce is soon

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The more I watched the more I laughed. Wonder how many are up his ass now.

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

Damn, she fine

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 3

There are worse things to get divorced over... ?

6 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

you know you can just divorce her, right? you don't have to piss her off until she leaves your tiresome ass.

6 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 12

Next: v

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

This man is very committed. Or should be.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Seems like this is going to be used as evidence in court one day, one way or another.

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

How to never get laid

6 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 5

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I weigh that option when I am about to prank my wife and then decide if it's work it. Most times it is.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Honestly I found to find a man like this ?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Find ugh

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ugh errrr gah * I want to find

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doomed Guy.

6 years ago | Likes 1192 Dislikes 3

I too choose the dead guys wife

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

Especially after posting it on the internet, dude is fucked

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

she needs to start carrying around a spray bottle like people use on cats. Its cheaper than a divorce

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

She's opened the Lorena Bobbitt playbook and biding her time. He has to sleep eventually.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Only if he Super Turbo Turkey Punches her

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Omg! Bra straps, bikinis, and yoga pants! I can't believe the mods let this go for so long!

6 years ago | Likes 293 Dislikes 9

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 1

I like his commitment...more than he values his life hahaha

6 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

His future ex-wife has a cute butt

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

The Batdad couple on Facebook got divorced :(

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Is that this couple in the video?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Awwwww. Jen is hot. And single.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Really?

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yep, saw it on one of his posts. Guess goofing off only gets you so far

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Well. That smells. Thanks for replying. Stay safe, friend.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What!? Noooooooo

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

At least we have the eh bee family

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dart ass

6 years ago | Likes 108 Dislikes 3

6 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 5

I will never not laugh at this.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Oof, with a knife in hand and everything.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She's going to hurt him badly, and laugh maniacally while she does it..

6 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but their sex life is unrelated to the vid.

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Maybe. Maybe not..

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 160 Dislikes 0

“choose your destiny”... “superb!” ... I miss the Old ass Mortal Kombat.. where the fatality against your opponent has 17 skulls & 4 torsos

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Her: "..so why am I doing this?"

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Him: "Trust me, this is gonna be so cool."

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

This makes me want to recreate this ?

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I believe in you

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tell her to call me when the divorce finalizes.

6 years ago | Likes 3675 Dislikes 9

Yo that's his mom

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 123 Dislikes 0

So you can continue the fight I hope

6 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 1

Continuing the save game

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So she can continue to be disappointed ;)

6 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Brutal

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If he's really committed to the bit, he'll add a clip of shooting her in the courtroom.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The anger wouldn’t be worth it

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I dunno, do you really want a girl who doesn’t like when you blast her?

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Most women get irritated easily with their spouse after a few years.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The key is to find a wife who even if she gets irritated still appreciates your playfulness.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is she single?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can't divorce the dead.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

She has pool, she aiight.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I also choose this guys wife

6 years ago | Likes 711 Dislikes 2

ex-wife

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thirds

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Is your wife single? actually justified question this time

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Don't know about his wife, but my girlfriend certainly isn't.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Shouldn't be long now.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Look at the damn house. You think she'll divorce so easily?

6 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 8

Who cares about the house? Just look at that dude's Nerf gun collection!

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Exactly. She is soooo angry floating in her pool.

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 5

She clearly loves him. He probably has that good married guy dick.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 3

You really like dick huh

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

So much.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bro just look down

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah dawg, she'll be keeping that house.

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

I get the feeling that’s her brother

6 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 11

And he married her!? v

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

He can watch, I suppose.

6 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Her brother walks in on her while she's getting changed? That's weird AF unless you're Ted Cruze

6 years ago | Likes 70 Dislikes 4

The YouTube link is labeled, “I shot my wife everyday for a week with nerf guns”.

6 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

He married his Sister?

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If it’s in the US south it could be a strong possibility.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

[Alabama intensifies]

6 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

the thrown dart is the best, because it implies he had his gun taken away that day

6 years ago | Likes 5741 Dislikes 4

Because of the implication...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It truly was the best. Should have saved that one for the end. Imply that he had all the guns taken away.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

She hid his guns that day

6 years ago | Likes 170 Dislikes 1

I too have lived that life

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"If you shoot me one more time!" *throws dart instead*

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*gun(s), notice he changes quite often.

6 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

@OP: this is by far the best thing I have ever seen on the Internet.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

From my doom xp it means I died and lost all my guns.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"The Gun"? He has an impressive arsenal of guns.

6 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

You can throw nerf darts far better if you put your finger on the hole in the back

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you can do alot of things if you put your finger in their hole in the back

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

She seemed to get hotter the more he shot her.

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

She shoved it up his ass and he couldn't get it out.

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

you mean shoved. up. his. A-

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

The twot shots in yoga are my favourite

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 3

Meanwhile reach people

6 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

In this day and age that's like tossing Benjamins in the toilet

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

holly crap, that's like shooting gold ammo

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

That's a lot of money.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

We all knew what you meant.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Once worked in an office that had occasional nerf fights. Everyone knew I didn't have a gun but never realized I started several battles.

6 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Rubber bands and paper pellets got popular in my class. My teachers praised me for not joining in. They didn't realize I was the one who was

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Supplying two entire classes with superior paper pellets. I made pellets in the 100s each day. Accurate, long distance & hurt like all fuck.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You diabolical bitch.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Did yours get taken away by HR like ours did? ?

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

No but they drew the line at the homemade nerf crossbow. I don't think it really threw the darts harder but it looked terrifying.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I am not allowed to bring any of my blasters to work anymore. My coworkers have to give me one.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My HR...small family owned diner, dad (HR) owns several and Jr has 1...took ours away and assaulted us with snowballs. Inside the diner.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

lol

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I also like that she actually smiles/laughs at that one. Shows that she doesn’t take it all so seriously.

6 years ago | Likes 871 Dislikes 2

Or that she finally lost it and he died that day

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Judging by how many different guns appear in the video, she has confiscated a good half dozen and locked them in a drawer somewhere.

6 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

I honestly think its a healthy way to get your stress out. You pretend to get angry about silly things and get the yelling off your chest!

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

I don't think there's a lot of pretending there. She loves HIM, but HATES this prank of his.

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Youre probably right. What i meant is since she lets out her anger externally towards that. Something else they were angry about...

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Internally hopefully wont fester into something worse bc they let it out over something a little sillier

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or that she hid the guns that day and is amazed he still does it. Divorce

6 years ago | Likes 196 Dislikes 5

Would be pretty sad stuff if this was the exact divorce reason; it's bad flirting but it still means they love her.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Why does it have to end in divorce?

6 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 0

It either ends in divorce or death, so subjectively i think divorce is considered less tragic

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doesn’t have to. They might live happily ever after. Don’t let others make you sad

6 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

they can also divorce and live happily ever after!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fair enough lol

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I agree, murder would be much better

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Ironic, in trying to slay the demon, he only slayed himself

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

She did say she was gonna burn him alive at the end. Divorce

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

My man!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The tragedy was that she developed a fatal allergy to nerf foam.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

MRW I hear there's a doom party at their house.

6 years ago | Likes 150 Dislikes 0

the bleeding head of course from hitting the bar

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

This is fucking awesome.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

you know she thinks its funny by how much she laughs about it every time!

6 years ago | Likes 430 Dislikes 14

It's like it's staged.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

the ones where he takes aim while she's doing yoga is kinda not cool though. I would be annoyed he took me out of my zone

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

idd laugh too its a reflex but its still fucking annoying

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

More like shes tolerating her husbands shenanigans to a point.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

“I am literally going to set you on fire.”

6 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Every time? I saw two half laughs total

6 years ago | Likes 88 Dislikes 8

Two? I saw one and it was him throwing the dart probably in futility that she tool his guns away

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You’re an idiot. It’s a conditioned response. Pick up a fuckin book. Moron.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 11

Oops. That was supposed to be one level up.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 6

I’d say it is pretty conditioned to laugh at something amusing, yeah

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Idk what you're watching but she definitely laughs

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

6 years ago | Likes 131 Dislikes 2

to be fair, enough people say dumb shit like that and mean it that i think PinappleIsDelicious was justified in assuming it wasn't sarcasm.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 6

It read quite straightforward to me. Apparently I stand corrected. The beauties of conversation via typing.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

@PineappleIsDelicious except on pizza.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I choose this guy's wife too.

6 years ago | Likes 1262 Dislikes 12

As a wife, I choose this guy

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Also his house

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

right??

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 5

I’d toss a load her way !

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

Ha

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'd like to have sexual intercourse with her...if you know what I mean? ?

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I know what you mean. So subtle

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This dead guy's wife

6 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 0

I agree, he’s a goner after that last one

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 1

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How many nerf guns does this guy own!?

6 years ago | Likes 1106 Dislikes 3

Not enough apparently

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Never enough.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He bought a new one each time she took the old one away

6 years ago | Likes 492 Dislikes 0

"I'm an adult", he whispers, each time he adds a new gun to the shopping cart. "She can't take all of my toys."

6 years ago | Likes 161 Dislikes 0

Omg I'm dying

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Look at their house, they're rich.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not enough

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

An impressive collection for sure

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Those are rookie numbers. I have at least 50 different kinds built up over the year from my childhood

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same, but from my adulthood. I had to start getting rid of some to make space for others. I'm also painting and modding a bit.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He didn't choose the nerf life, the nerf life chose him.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not nearly as many as I do

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Clearly enough to have it shoved up his ass everytime his wife gets pissed off

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

All these comments about choosing this Dead Guy's Wife, but his NERF collection was the first thing I noticed, too....

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

One at a time

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not enough.

6 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

Not enerf

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I counted 6 different models, so a good start but still a small armory.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

About $700

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They aren't your nerf guns, you just buy the kids new ones when your wife take them away.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How many DOESN'T he own is a shorter list. Am I right??

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yes

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The normal amount i guess

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Its Nerf or nothin

6 years ago | Likes 103 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

well, yeah. but each one of the couple gets a gun. you dont just sit around bitch shooting.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

a lot. He posted a video on his facebook page a while back. a rather impressive arsenal

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He doesnt own nerf guns, the nerf guns own him

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Not enough.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I like your comment, but I can't upvote because you're at 69 upvoted. +1 in spirit though.

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 3

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well it's at 1,089 now, so you can come back.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I did.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0