Ecyojeerised
152098
5167
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Nov 14, 2018 11:34 AM
Ecyojeerised
152098
5167
93
mitsobar
TBH ive always felt the real reason the wizarding world hides itself from muggles is that muggles would genocide them pretty easily.
Zixtank
Probably lacked proficiency in anything but spellcasting. Baby Harry probably had like +10 to his Charisma save or something.
jeebz24
This reminds me of the part in Fantastic Beasts where muggle kicks down the magically locked door. "Darn cant open, magic too strong" *kick*
sadman13
But consider it was one of voldey's horcruxes that led to the death of Dumbledore...
selfmedicaited
You have slain something so pure and defenceless to save yourself and you will have but a half life, a cursed life.
Saddamhuss
AK -47 600 avada kedavra minute
therealprometheus
Muggle-centric arguments.
warick
Live by the wand, die by the wand.
pareidoliaperson
Right now on the loo it's **wind for me.
ogwjm
Hitachi would disagree !
SkyWlkr7
That's the power of the home Depot
HeroThatWasNeeded
Amen sister!
MrPrick
Paige no!
Formalis
Paige YES!
Mothballed
That's the point Rowling was going for. Voldy was so afraid to die that he ruined his life and cut it short instead of living it.
Crowlands
Well, "He's meant to be stupid for literary reasons" may be a thing, but... He's still stupid.
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
The whole point of Voldy's story was that he was a grandstanding egomaniac more concerned with people knowing his name and praising him -
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
for all time than he ever was with doing anything useful with his immense power...now why does that sound familiar?
Lavos5181
You what would have been nice. A gun that could shoot from miles away instead of a wand that you have to see your enemy with. just saying...
Themurderguy
I feel like the only way to confirm the kill is to eat the baby.
GreaterDog
To be fair, this was a prophesy baby, so Voldemort used his ult to be cautious
Dinoryder
#shakeweight #baby #dead
LurkyMcLurker
Lol shakeweight
BLeaper
These are actually good points. Voldemort was too consumed by his delusions of magical grandeur to see the sensible course of action.
Technohawk
GreenYawgmoth
Still blows my mind that that guy directed Thor.
tantallous
Or DID he?
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I think Movies about harrys parents in school to young adult age would do well
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Ik the movies were books first, i just think itd be asking alot for her to write a few more books. Dont @ me
lordfluffy
No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style. - Vlad Taltos
WeirdOneWithaWhip
Voldemort taught his followers that Muggle ways of life and killing were beneath wizards, even at risk by his own hubris
hwatL4bloopy
Yeet
HonestlyNotARobot
A lot of problems in Harry Potter would be solved if wizards just carried guns, TBH
AlbertFrankenstein
More specifically a sniper
Mitchz95
vampirehedgehog
No. Just no. The world doesn't need another ammosexual wank fantasy.
rileyb402
I've never read the books but watched all the movies with my wife, I like the movies but I never understood Voldemort.
RTBackup
HPB did a lot for him. He's still a pretty pathetic Dark Lord though.
OopsImAPumpkin
You should read the 6th book. It delves extensively into Voldemort's past. From Parents meeting until adulthood when his power was rising.
Jollytothegreen
Reading the books will change that :)
AttarisMoonRaider
That’s why there are only 3 dark lords in fiction Sauron , lord sidious and the dark lord chuckles the evil silly piggy
sturmhauke
I knew a guy who tried to argue that Voldy > Palpy.
AttarisMoonRaider
Palsy conquered a galaxy for 30 years vold couldn’t control a high school
textilelover
NOT A MONKEY!
RTBackup
What about Nicodemus?
brahbrahbrah
Wizards tend to have natural protection from "normal" deaths. Falling from windows is actually specifically mentioned in the books as one.
BladedPenguin
Nope, that was a case of accidental magic.
WhiteKnight124
Ok, but they aren't immune to a knife
pokos33
Maybe, maybe not. If they feel threatened and emotional, who's to say the knife wouldn't turn into a stuffed aninal?
WhiteKnight124
So wizards infant mortality rate is 0?
pokos33
Don't think so. We know wizards can get sick so it's likely that infant wizards, though more durable, are susceptible to the same illnesses
WhiteKnight124
So Voldemort should have used small pox, lol
oggokogok
but they arent immune to being suffocated by a stuffed animal
pokos33
That they aren't. Honestly, there's a million other magical means of killing that would've done the job
Commory
Where? Do you mean the part where Neville uncle accidently throws out of window?
brahbrahbrah
Yep. It also mentions that harry sort of naturally finds his way out of harm's way.
RTBackup
Didn't Harry fall from his broom and not bounce? Or is that only for windows?
brahbrahbrah
A bit different. Dementors were involved.
RTBackup
Yeah but it takes more than a few minutes to sap magic from someone enough that their innate abilities fail them.
Commory
I always thought it only happened to kids as a manefastion of their unused magical abiltities.
pokos33
It happens when they're in danger or extremely emotional. Harry apparating away from bullies, blowing up his aunt, etc.
SecretlyARedPanda
I like the idea of the massively powerful wizard being taken down by the common. "Wait, were there peanuts in that? Shit..."
AmmoniumAcetate
Great moment in the Dresden files: Harry Dresden, the hero is badly outclassed by an evil wizard. So Harry just punches him in the face.
catrov
Not a bad strategy. I've heard a punch in the snout has convinced a bear to walk away once or twice. It's the shock value, I think.
OopsImAPumpkin
My other favorite wizard named Harry.
SecretlyARedPanda
Harry Dresden, the hero badly outclassed by an evil wizard. That pretty much sums up the series. (Not knocking it, I love Butcher)
textilelover
Well, sometimes it's an evil angel, or an evil vampire. Or an ex...I just finished re-reading Skin Games last night. C'moooon Peace Talks!
AmmoniumAcetate
Seriously butcher. It’s been way too long.
textilelover
Supposedly it is in front of beta readers right now...
AmmoniumAcetate
That’s some great news.
FlyYouFLCL
I really liked whichever book talked about his reputation and that a lot of the magic community actually fears him. He's like, "what?"
DonutTramp
He constantly says that he is an accomplished wizard but he can't even speak wizard....
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
I dont understand why he didnt just stab harry. Or bash him with a rock. Or set the crib on fire. Or just take the baby and let him starve
RTBackup
The killing curse always worked for him before. Every time he used it after was stupid though.
chesirecats
The better question is: why would he do those things? He's magic, carries his wand at all times, and has a spell that hasn't ever failed.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
Just to be safe? If i heard about a prophecy where some baby was destined to destroy me, i wouldn't fuck around, prophecies are tricky.
chesirecats
But this isn't fucking around; this is the most lethal thing in the world, with a known 100% success rate (prior to Harry).
ArtArchive
So as someone who knows little about Harry Potter, why exactly didn't it work on Harry?
Crowlands
Because his mother loved him. Seriously. Because everyone else he killed was estranged from their parents I guess?
chesirecats
One of the key themes of the books is the strength of love to overcome hate/fear/evil etc. So when Harry's parents (specifically Mum) 1/?
OopsImAPumpkin
Because V grew up feeling magic made him special. So he relied exclusively on his power to do everything. The thought of those would >
OopsImAPumpkin
< either never occur to him, or if they did he would feel they were beneath him. >
OopsImAPumpkin
< "Rocks and Knoves are crude weapons used by the weak and powerless."
Crowlands
Man, what a dumbass.
OopsImAPumpkin
"A lot of the greatest wizards haven’t got an ounce of logic.” - Hermione Granger (Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone)
GreenYawgmoth
There's other spells besides Avada Kedavra, though. Fiendfyre's a good one for setting a house on fire and eating any escapees, for example.
OopsImAPumpkin
Ok but why bother with that? When you have a spell that can turn any one into a corpse why bother with fire? >
OopsImAPumpkin
OopsImAPumpkin
< to create and control the fire if you dont need to. Remember V didnt think anything would go wrong that night. So why use extreme >
GreenYawgmoth
Because A, he was trying to kill all of them. B, fire is fun and sends a message. C, there's no kill like overkill.
OopsImAPumpkin
That's not how he operates. Any idiot can burn a house down, real magical prowess comes from subtly, not force. >
ArtArchive
The way you phrase it sounds like he should be a fat guy in a magic hover chair.
OopsImAPumpkin
He literally used magic to fly with out assistance in the last book!
imadethiswheniwastooyoungshootme
This is completely off-topic but I’m still pissed about how poorly Ron is portrayed in the movies. He deserved better
sammyismycat
I agree. But I love Ron. He's so cheeky.
FrostyRaptor
Wait he can be even better? Ron was the best parts in the movies
Crowlands
Well imagine Ron, only he actually achieves things, instead of panicking until Hermoine fixes it... In the books, he's smart, and competent.
tollerscream
I hate him in the books too. I've gone on long several hours long rants about it. Actually I think I hate book Ron far more than movie Ron.
pygmypie
I feel the reason many fans hate Ron is because of how he behaved in the movies. He was a dumbass in the books, but a loyal dumbass 1/
OopsImAPumpkin
To add to this chain, even though he never took it serious, Ron was amazing at Divination. Pay attention to him when he's flippant. >
OopsImAPumpkin
< He's usually right.
PSTN0
CassandRon.
pygmypie
Who loved his friends in spite of their frequent arguments, and who was a capable wizard in his own right. /End
Schmuck4hire
Didn't someone say that, in the books, they were kind of the triforce? Harry was the muscle, Hermione the brains and Ron the guts. But 1.
Schmuck4hire
in the movies, Ron's duties are kinda split between Harry and Hermione. 2/2
Mozzeltoff
He wasn't even that much of a dumbass. He gave good ideas or had knowledge the two muggle raised characters wouldn't and used it.
pokos33
He wasn't a dumbass. His OWL scores were pretty damn good and he's a chess genius. He's just a teenage boy is all.
lookinatdumbshitontheinternet
What about Harry? He’s literally the hero of the books and bloody Dan Radcliffe is so wooden and bland.
blainetog
Bland, you say?
kelik1
book harry is pretty unobservant. movie harry though is REALLY unobservant. more or less the only major difference.
CliffEdge87
Movie characters are always caricatures of their books selves. They have to be in order to get the character traits across in a short time.
kelik1
oh yes i agree completely. i love movie harry for how derp he is
Schmuck4hire
Why is it so common for the main character to be the least interesting one? 'Same with Luke Skywalker. 'Such a colourful cast and he's 1/
Schmuck4hire
just kinda the boring hero trope. 2/2
vuvuzevka
Because generally the protagonist in a fantasy settings is the door for the audience. He has to be straight and discover the world. (1/2)
vuvuzevka
It allows him to grow. And it's less daunting for the audience as you can distill informations as the main character learn them (2/2)
Schmuck4hire
I guess that makes sense for Luke, but less sure about Harry. The story is told from his 1st person perspctive so he ought to be interesting
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Lots of Harry' development is done in thoughts and inner monologues. Guess what is cut for movie adaptations.
noctism
What the other guy said, and it also allows the average audience member to project themselves onto the character and believe they're a hero
relpmeraggy
What this is missing is that fact that voldy marked Harry as the one who would destroy him his equal. not wanting to miss a “statement” 1/?
relpmeraggy
Of how he would destroy anyone or anything by magic. Because magic is what made him special. So yes voldy could have dropped Harry 2/?
relpmeraggy
Out a fucking window. But he needed to make that statement and to make a horcux hence the need for the killing curse.
fluhatinrapper
Nerd
MrStarkLord
So he's a Bond villain.
fuckthisshitwebsite
I think throwing him against a wall repeatedly would make more of a statement
Freeflare
Justify it all you want, it's still a children's series with plot holes the size of Jupiter.
Goryofa
Every story has plot holes because every story is a lie and nobody is that good of a liar.
Oddysen
I've read sories with fewer plot holes than real life. Harry potter, while something I love dearly, is very much not one of them.
delaneige
I wouldn't call that a plot hole. Why would Voldemort have any reason not to use the curse? It's tidier than any other way to murder someone
usernamepolice
Like what? This isnt one
SerMorgenstern
He didn’t mean to turn Harry into a horcrux though, that was a fluke
relpmeraggy
Yes he did. It was the sixth and final one. It wasn’t successful or so we thought. Which is why he made one out of nagini
SerMorgenstern
No... he was not meant to be one. Voldy meant to make another one, but the intended object was not going to be Harry
relpmeraggy
You’re totally right I didn’t proof read what I wrote my bad.
helldozer1
no no, he couldn't i mean that happened to Nevil, but he bounced, i'm sure that would have happened with Harrys aswell
THRAWN18
Longbottom killed Voldemort and I'll fight anyone who disagrees with me, including JK Rowling
Firemonsterlols
It is likely he had Intended to use Harry's death to make his final horcrux. Dumbledoor says somthing about it in the 6th book.
Grudgebearingmidget
yeaaa, not buying that one, every other Horcrux was a physical item, so unless he was going to turn a baby's skeleton into a horcux...
mattsall
Tbf, Dumbledoor was probably sneaking some Elixir of Life on the sly
debthepleb
He did partner with Nicholas Flamel while reasearching Alchemy shit.
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
Well he did have a pet phoenix
SeriousCloud
Got that phoenix down™
Besnep
Cancer removus
Keairan
Dumbledore's predecessor lived to be about 200 as well, so idk about that.
mattsall
Still within the lifetime of Nicholas Flammel, they could've both been at it.
qwijybo
He didn't hang out with Nicholas Flammel for his health... Oh, wait.
herrau
debthepleb
Everyday I'm Dumblin'
StormheartKing
If he had been using it, he would've died shortly after the Stone was destroyed, just like Flamel and his wife.
mattsall
He didn't, the book says he had enough stored for years after the stone went
StormheartKing
Flamel had enough to set his affairs in order. At the very latest, he died between book 5 and 6, according to JK Rowling.
WiessLiener
I may be remembering wrong but in the book didn't he actually say he had been using it? Or hint to it atleast
defaulted
I had always had that impression but haven’t read the books in years to know with certainty.
chesirecats
You'd be incorrect. Or at least to the best of my recollection. If anyone can cite a page number though, I'm all... well, not ears... eyes?
StormheartKing
If he had been using it, he would've died shortly after it was destroyed, just like Flamel and his wife.
GreaterDog
Supposedly they died sometime between then and the 6th book, but yea doubtful Dumbledore had more of an elixir supply saved than they did
MagnorCriol
On the sly nothing, he talks about how he and What’s-his-face that figured out the potion had both been drinking some, but stopped
zFUBARz
Where in the book? Don't recall that at all. It's flamel and his wife that drink it.
MagnorCriol
Book 1, I thought. But it has been quite a while since I read it, so your memory may be better than mine.
zFUBARz
I listened to it a couple months back. I could be wrong too of course, but I don't recall him being that obvious about it.
ShutYourMouthWhenYoureTalkingToMe17
Nope you are right. Only Nicholas Flammel and his wife drink it.
ganondan
Nicholas Flemmel!
Cyrano517
Flamel
WhiteKnight124
He did have the sorcerer's stone for forever
duffledore
And the elder wand
mattsall
Yeah, just "keeping it safe"
noctynight
Seriously tho, Dumbledore was shady as hell.
maetrix
But was he better or worse than his brother
rockfireman
Well Aberforth did do something with a goat...never found out what though.
ridureyu
*Philosopher’s Stone
MagicTortoise
It's Sorcerer's Stone in the US version
Pandameter
Everyone knows that, it's just that it's sad the publishing industry didn't think americans could understand "philosopher" and changed it
Hyero
By definitive means, philosopher doesn't make nearly as much sense as sorcerer anyway.
noneofyourbussiness
*Millions of dead Ishvalans
Joejitsu
We don’t need U.
spacegypsy
Proper British huh?
MoreButterForMyHam
He only had it for a single school year
mattsall
Yeah but you extract the Elixir from it, he could've bottled up a load like Nicholas Flammel
WhiteKnight124
As I recall they developed it together, I haven't read the books in a while though
MoreButterForMyHam
He couldn't have. Rowling has said it is not unusual for magical humans to live 200 years. Using that as a baseline, then Nicolas Flamel 1/
MoreButterForMyHam
Would already be in his early to mid 500s by the time he meets Dumbledore. Woke it is certainly possible that they did further 2/
aguacatedeldiablo
Do you remember where they got it out of at the beginning the story? Dumbledore's vault at Gringotts.
MoreButterForMyHam
It was kept in his/the school's vault for a few months, sure. But there's no indicator that it has been there long term. If nothing else, 1/
MoreButterForMyHam
it would be extremely inconvenient for Nicholas Flamel to go there in order to extract the Elixir of Life regularly. Even once a year 2/
LandManatee
I thought the whole thing was somebody entrusted him with it so he kept it there until it could be transported to Hogwarts or something.
TomZarekVP
Don't worry, JK will straighten it all out without ruining my childhood.
definitelynotawolf
I don’t recall it specifically being Dumbledore’s vault, just that he could access it
ruzid
When Neville's great-uncle accidentally threw him out a window, he bounced. Sooo, the killing curse was probably the right choice.
JustALullabi
A baby dropped from six stories has a better chance at survival than you or me. And I'm not saying their chance are great, but better ? ♀
sharkhugs
Kids don’t start showing magic until they’re toddlers at least though
TopCommenter
Ok but dead kids don't start showing it at all.
Monkeytron
Unless they’re undead
TopCommenter
Giving a baby a wand is irresponsible. Giving an undead baby a wand is nominating yourself for a Darwin Award.
vampirehedgehog
Also a lot of peoples suggestions seem to ignore that VOLDEMORT DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULDN'T WORK! If you're trying to kill someone, you don't 1/
vampirehedgehog
start getting creative when you have a gun just in case the victim is capable of bouncing bullets off themselves. 2/2
Wgasa
If you can kill someone without using resources, do it that way. Don't rely on something as capricious as magic or luck.
RTBackup
So use an axe. Hard to get a prophecy-fulfilling spell backfire out of an axe.
guntbagmunkball
The boy who lived... with half a head.
tollerscream
Nearly-Headless Harry
DanFranzen
Tell me you wouldn't read the hell out of that story.
Darkspire
It'd probably be a short one.
DanFranzen
I'm just imagining a half-headed infant, though. Magic!
GrandmaSlappy
Or just like fuckin strangle it or shake it, like do you guys really have me here thinking of all the easy ways to kill babies?
WillTheFifth
By that point, Lily had died to save Harry, making it impossible for Voldy to touch Harry without burning/turning to ash
hoom88
So give him the stick
drenix
Now you just want a Richard B. Riddick-like Harry Potter
guntbagmunkball
Bro I would fuck a baby up. They'd never even see it coming.
IAmJuanSanchezVillalobosRamirez
Jollytothegreen
Accidentally
inmywhiteroom
it was more like he was being dangled out the window and then they accidentally dropped him
AmbulatoryMoss
It was told in a cutesy way, but it was definitely a strong anti-squib/muggle message
Dagordae
I kind of wish Rowling had addressed that at any point. The Dursleys were absolute cunts, but they never actually hurt Harry or put him in
Hitsuzen9
never hurt him? I seem to remember him being hit with a frying pan and being strangled
Dagordae
Mortal danger(intentionally). Neville’s family literally almost killed him because they thought he was a squib. They would have if they were
Dagordae
Right.
aimlessPolymath
Something I saw in a fanfic is that neville should have bounced when he fell off his broom in first year.
Dracongield
Oh the fanfic has had a field day with harry and neville being raised the same. Back up Chosen One
OopsImAPumpkin
It wouldn't be the same though. Neville would have been raised by his Grandmother. I doubt Snape would let the Lestranges touch Lily >
OopsImAPumpkin
< So the Potter probably would have survived. Harry would have shown up happy and healthy to Hogwarts and Neville would be the same.
Dracongield
A lot of fanfics expand on the window incident and being forced to use his dads wand as evidence that nevs home life was as bad as harrys
OopsImAPumpkin
I always got the sense that his Gran was tough on him because she wanted her son back, but he was still loved. His grunkle was just a dick