BlinkAndImGoneForGood
166630
5266
329
Apr 24, 2020 6:03 AM
BlinkAndImGoneForGood
166630
5266
329
AShartInTheWind
What a contradiction, conservative Christians.
hotdoginathermos
OccupieCommonSense
Don't forget about like 99% of other religions... why it gota be just christianity? Religinist!
Zambezionis
/a/buaoYmB not a coincidence
Soggybathroomsock
A solid 5/7
ToTheWindowToTheSquirrel
Just out here handing out perfect scores, eh?
fknbastard
Poe's Law. Fundamentalist Christianity, when spoken of seriously, is indistinguishable from satire.
Mythanris90
Mossanony
... uh ... microscope, anyone?
ProtoEcho
Except they don’t even let God or Iesus lead their lives either. With the abundant selfishness and racism in this group...
im2short2die
Lol gr8 meme m8 8/8
F234K
Christians. There are conservatives out there that think those people are batshit crazy too
Shismouche
Same for the muslims and the jews lol
HappyGoLucky8888
?☹️
PoliticalLava
If a christian starts supporting Trump, just ask them "How is he christ-like?" There answer will be hilarious.
PoliticalLava
their*
Munchman347
'Well... Christ didn't go to church either!'...
CarrieUnderboob
It's weird how we raise our kids not to judge entire groups of people based on a select few, but then do exactly that in these situations.
LunaticLegostone
I think the post is actually pretty specific about which kind of christians should feel addressed. But if the shoe fits, I guess.
Munchman347
When the 'select few' number in the millions, they form an 'entire group'...
wadatahmydamie
I’m not religious, but this sentiment reeks of gervatheism
BohemicAnemic
Many people let little invisible things control their lives. If they realize it themselves or not. Independent of what they call them.
leonardcohen545
There are liberal Christians?
brownribbon
Yes, many. Some of them are my friends.
moonshadowkati
Yup. They tend to get less press than conservative Christians because they are involved in fewer controversies.
RandallKavanaugh
The virus just needs a microscope - it actually is visible, not imaginary
themagicalliopleurodon
Y'all got any more of that Jesus's Blood
danpio1309
Don't worry, they aren't letting something invisible in the sky control their lives, they just want it to control yours on their terms.
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
Absolutely, pointing a finger in judgement is a common pitfall of Christians. And we need to work on that, everyone does. But it's not 1/
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
indicative of the faith itself. To use the individual as the definition of the faith and vice versa is wrong from either side.
galeoctober
This is some harsh gervatheism :/. When is it ever okay to publicly trash someone's faith? ANY faith? And make it viral, to boot.
nowwhowhat
The hell is gervatheism?
LunaticLegostone
We're not trashing their faith, but their behavior. Important difference.
galeoctober
I'm talking about the majority of the comments section.
Munchman347
'Islam looks sideways at Christianity'...
chrishallett83
A person's personal belief in a higher power is fine. Organised religion can fuck all the way off, forever.
Xalaqia
Yes. If you believe ridiculous things, you better steel yourself against getting ridiculed.
galeoctober
Wow I feel so sorry for how hateful and inconsiderate you are... Why do you think like this?
Xalaqia
But your gods could show up and clear up any confusion, right? Gods, can create universes, but can't.... show up.
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
Yes, all of us Christians are hypocrites cause we fall short all the time. But you've also created your own invisible enemy here.
Xalaqia
Our enemy is obvious. Superstition, ignorance, the arrogance of the Chosen, the righteousness of the misled, and the greed of the prophets.
lordbucket
Amusing. But I have yet to hear a single one of my christian friends say this.
LunaticLegostone
They may not fall into Twitter OP's definition of conservative.
thedmoninme
I have.
RationalViking
Lordbucket's friends haven't said this, so it must be fake. Good thing you told us :p (obviously just poking fun, I don't mean that)
nowwhowhat
And how many Christian friends do you have? Would you say a statistically significant amount?
WhooDoYouDo
Not all conservatives tired of people pointing fingers, putting us all in their bubble. People need to stop stereo typing.
LunaticLegostone
Twitter OP is not stereotyping, but calling out a very specific kind of conservatives. But if the shoe fits, I guess.
WhooDoYouDo
I'm conservative Christian, I keep to myself, keep my beliefs personal, and know what's going on now is just ridiculous.
Munchman347
Rep-cons have been shrilly calling anyone who isn't 'on their side', 'Libtards, Commies, Socialists and worse' for years, now you're upset?
WhooDoYouDo
1. I believe God made everyone and loves EVERYONE and I should too. I have my beliefs and you have yours why should I HATE you? Why hate me?
WhooDoYouDo
2. I get backlash cause of it, my Mom taught me right. No one is right, no one is wrong We're all just trying to live and be happy.
Munchman347
TIL, Asking if someone is upset is 'Hate mongering'! Pointing out the hypocrisy of 'selective' outrage is not 'hate'...
MouseBalls
The best part about all this - the virus actually isn't invisible. It's just not visible to the naked eye.
creepysloth041337
That's what invisible means
Lucky246
There's an assumption involved that changes the word visible with every sentence
FreeRangeToast
let me introduce you to my good friend the fucking microscope...
LusciousLucius
No it's not. Invisible means 'not visible to the eye', not 'not visible the naked eye'. It's an important distinction. That means that 1/2
LusciousLucius
Things you can only see through vision enhancing devices aren't actually invisible. You CAN see them with aid. 2/2
eggmuffin
Not in this context.
LuccaMoondrop
So I’m a conservative Christian and I have never once heard any of my friends/family/church family say anything close to this.
LunaticLegostone
No need to feel addressed then.
galeoctober
Unfortunately this is a lot of gervatheism... It's "acceptable" to publicly judge Christianity because it's the American majority.
RationalViking
What does that have to do with anything? "I haven't observed this, so I don't believe it", is that what you're saying?
klinger
AGREED! and honestly, if I did hear someone say it, I would call them out on it and point them right to scripture that denies this!
ElbowDeepinaTinyOctopus
There's a 103% chance they can point right to scripture that denies your denial. That book can support damn near anything.
leonxu123
Only if you take things out of context, right?
ElbowDeepinaTinyOctopus
Context complicates, it rarely exonerates. The people who wrote that book were pretty fucking brutal on occasion.
Xalaqia
They also were Bronze-Age raiding tribes. That's a context often forgotten.
3stan2112
And does, including genocide, slavery, and incest.
spattr
On LSD I saw little spots of Jesus floating all around me.
redJazz
feel like it has one of two options for me (1) everything is shimmering (2) nothing is anything
NarratesTheDarkerStory
when I took acid I was *this* close to solving one of life's mysteries. turns out I was throwing a clock like a frisbee because "Time Flies"
HeadlessBodyOfSpiroAgnew
I damn near had a mental breakdown on mushrooms thinking about time being linear and every passing moment being gone forever.
NarratesTheDarkerStory
Damn, that's a heavy thought for shrooms. whenever that happens, look through binoculars backwards, look at your feet, and run around.
NarratesTheDarkerStory
they are so fucking teeny and sooooooooo far away! This may lead to a small freakout when you have troubles getting your feet in frame.
LovesToSpooge517
Did you get to the time knife?
NIC0LANGEL0
I only got to the poop knife. Is that similar?
ElbowDeepinaTinyOctopus
They're both like Ogres - they have layers.
friendsofsandwiches
You sure that was Jesus and not Ewan McGregor?
dashthefox
I've been there, beats the raw chaos and message repeating "this is psychic damage" over and over.
Shargan8
I saw The Ultimate Engine, the mechanism that powers our reality
nutjob2
Cool.
MyLabrum
- Paul recounting his conversion ca. 60 CE
spookyactionatadistance
Little spots of Jesus is a great CCM band name
spookyactionatadistance
It's also what I leave on @op mother's face
MrChurch
You sure it wasn't a Jeffery?
PostMoThoin
Sperm? Holy sperm?
dootdootfloop
I see a giant cartoon fly fucking a praying mantis in stockings and suspenders. The fly was smoking a cigar
rgreen111
How have I never heard the term “fly fucking” before now?!
dootdootfloop
What do you think it implies ??
rgreen111
If I were a cool enough Imgurian, I’d computer program you some shitty stick figure fucking into the sky gaining altitude with each stroke.
dootdootfloop
That reply was good enough :)
Localf00l
Hi, uh yea gotta ask you to elaborate on this one if at all possible for me king. Paint a picture in my mind this sounds funny
Imhonestlypartying
I met jesus while taking a shower on LSD. He looks a lot like Obama. Same body language and everything.
HarryFrumvrk
Well I hope you didn’t listen to whatever he told you to do. Unless it was awesome.
silentmasturbator
probably drink some wine with fish and chips.
Asadsadsadclown
It was hard to hear, something about mass and pews. So I built new pews for my local church for their evening mass.
TMP5
LSD-jesus usually is awesome unlike the regular boring wine-jesus.
UmmonPrime
I saw my roommate turn into the devil while on mushrooms...
TheCosmicDrifter
How do you normally feel about your roommate?
UmmonPrime
I thought he was a tool, but never a bad person. It was a rough night...
TheCosmicDrifter
Yeah, many of us have been there. Sometimes tricks are played on you for what seems like fun. Gotta take the good with the bad I suppose.
WhatOhShitGif
I was able to read and understand elvish and the Beatles was part of a conspiracy with the Illuminati. I also had iHop after.
Antisha
Thing about LSD is that you can believe whatever you are thinking.
aninvisiblemaniac
me and my friends just talked about how Goofy deserves to be head mascot of Disney over stupid Mickey Mouse
MaxieMooo
I drew what i thought was an accurate representation of my friend while the 4 of us came up in my living room... Its a cursed drawing.
Emulen
If you say jesus backwards it sounds like sausage
IamMEGADEATH
You just won the internet
cuntybumsox
*whispers* holy shit
SchmidtOnYoLip
Sorry for the flashback.
brainkandle1
catnipHip
Like the invisible hand of the market?
MrPoopStick
No. The invisible hand of the internet.
VodkaReindeer
I believe conservative Christians are for that. But not for covid-19.
MrBEC
EXACTLY
Shelest
So, economics is basically Super Smash Bros
tenaciousjeebs
That’s actually what I picture whenever I hear someone reference Adam Smith. I thought I was crazy
ThisGuyPostingThings
Crazy's certainly the best word, because I'm pretty sure the market is controlled by Crazy Hand, not Master Hand.
FastF0x
I really need a hand job.
Serenitis
Just imagining a huge invisible hand floating around pimp slapping everyone now.
catnipHip
More like touching them in inappropriate places and stealing their wallets
ElephantKid
So a pimp?
steam1218
Black & white 3
Lashiel87
Forming a fist over an unsuspecting small business, and then destroying it all at once
thatsmyfetish69
Spanked84
Buttery males
Evercrimson
Someone please explain this for my friend next to me who feels rather dumb right now.
svenpurka
Buttery emails > But her emails
CandleToad
*butter emails
Lucky246
"But her Emails"
Evercrimson
Oh. God, wow. My friend apologizes for asking,
DaveSterling
No apologies needed, friend.
Zujewski
This is "But her emails!" referring to Hillary Clinton. Butter = But her.
LeChez
Yo, fuck Hill-dog. That woman is a corporate slam hound. She is, as far as the working class go, an enemy of the same magnitude as Trump.
DaveSterling
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she literally under FBI investigation IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ELECTION and those emails were part of 1/2
DaveSterling
the evidence that was being subpoena'd for the investigation, something about her using her private server for storing confidential 2/?
DaveSterling
emails violating national security if say, the Russian or North Korean or Chinese governments got a hold of these internal communications 3/
DaveSterling
by hacking this very insecure server and started using this info gleaned from the server against the US which she then proceeded to wipe 4/?
DaveSterling
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she literally under FBI investigation IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ELECTION and those emails were part of 1/2
DaveSterling
the evidence that was being subpoena'd for the investigation, something about her using her private server for storing confidential 2/?
DaveSterling
emails violating national security if say, the Russian or North Korean or Chinese governments got a hold of these internal communications 3/
DaveSterling
by hacking this very insecure server and started using this info gleaned from the server against the US which she then proceeded to wipe 4/?
DaveSterling
WHILE UNDER INVESTIGATION BY THE FBI? And getting no repercussions from it? Would you trust someone that was shown to be self serving? 5/5
JruqsJr
Buttery males. She’s known to slather young interns in butter and make them dance for her pleasure.
bradly146
Source?
SophieClockwise
No, butter.
FitzFarseer
Not a Trump fan, but maybe nominating one of the least liked politicians available was a poor choice.
tr26
Talk radio etc spent the prior 20 years bashing her with a mix of lies and half-truth, she was the most qualified but not very electable
FitzFarseer
I hope you mean most qualified compared to Trump. There’s a lot of people far more qualified than she ever was.
otiumCatulli
I liked her and she did get 3 million more votes so I don't think I'm alone
FitzFarseer
Amazing how many votes you can get when your opponent is Trump, and vice-versa
catsandcoke
Yes. The DNC is to blame for this. She didn’t even try to Campaign in some states. And now look. We’ve got someone old. Again.
FitzFarseer
That’s what happens when you assume you’ll win from the start
BurntToast127
Lol exactly. Fucking DNC has no idea what a good candidate is apparently.
VladimirsKacs
They've been going with establishment candidates over popular ones since forever. Read up on Eugene McCarthy.
BurntToast127
Well they went popular with Obama. Hes a cool guy.
FitzFarseer
The DNC does what’s best for the DNC. Only difference between them and they RNC is they’ve convinced people otherwise.
gurlsnuggler
I don’t get the reference ?
ArtfullySane
Butter emails
gurlsnuggler
Thank you
Garbageperson
Butter emails = but her emails. Reference to all the conservative conspiracy theory around Hillary Clinton's deleted emails
gurlsnuggler
Thank you. Stay safe.
Othernate
gurlsnuggler
Thank you. Stay safe.
Othernate
NP, you too. ^^