memedaddy93
29029
765
41
for Rodents of Unusual Size
PunnyTiger
#41 I see you've found your sole mate
mechscientist
#27 No one is immune to (english) propaganda.
L0rdinquisit0r
#16 terrible pun there, you must be locked away for using it.
3Davideo
#26 You know, with a big ol' censor bar blocking a long word beginning with "h" and ending in "al", the word could just possibly be "homicidal".
Onisa
Something along these lines gets posted every time someone reposts that image.
Skevoid
#45 We don't give a flying fuck what you're having, we just hope it's bloody good.
jasondeslin
#38 Personal pet peeve.
Pokemon has speed changing moves...
It's turn based, and you can never take 2 turns in a row.
Best case, you're slower, you do the move, you end up faster. They attack, you do stupid move, then you attack. You could have just attacked...
If you started off faster, you do move, they attack, you attack. You gave up 1st strike.
If you fail or it isn't enough. They attack, you do moronic pointless move, they attack again.
What fucktard programmed that?
Einstein9073
#41 people who saw that would immediately break in and try to steal whatever you're hiding in it. They're expecting money, drugs, or possibly jewelry
Subwayfootlong3
#10 Man used to mean human being. That's why it's used that way in words. Wereman used to mean male person.
Revicus
Right. And "wyf" (root for modern word "wife") for women. "wyfman" = female human. This is also where "werewolf" comes from. Male+wolf. (You probably know this, I'm just elaborating on your point for the fun of it.)
Subwayfootlong3
Yes, exactly, but it is an interesting fact. English is full of bread crumbs leading you to its origins.
DrewK98
#27 Doesn't seem to think much of women either.
cosonfused
#16 is this what i think it is
inkasep1
Yep!
optimusbrine
#27 Maybe if we'd encouraged more French immigrants we could have imported some of their superior protesting skills. I feel like the US could use some French protesting these days.
GauthierDavid
And with less German they maybe have less... well
Fanzel
#13 blocks out the Princess Bride joke. That's the best part.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#16
snarkybitch
I wanted to see it on small cat or something lol
Wasnbo
I'll admit, I thought it was a helmet for a rat or something. Then I saw the other ring and went OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.
MayMayz4DayzYo
Oh my sweet summer child.
snarkybitch
I know its a cock cage lol
Andersen81
#13 When you want floor to celling rat decor.
brainpansonata
When the vet says your senior cat needs organic pureed cat food.
SunBrolem
If you spread the rat out thin enough you don't even have to clean up
Einstein9073
I don't think that is enough bullet to spread the rat out sufficiently thin
This sounds like an internet green text story, where the protagonist thought they would not have to clean up the rat and instead have a millimeter thick layer of rat blood and rat flesh evenly coated over the entire room
LeftyBigGuns
Random question: does that particular feature work on rats only? Asking for a friend.
DamnYourePretty
I wouldnt trust it to cleanly uh.. euthanize.. anything larger than like a mid sized rabbit humanely. Even if you use .50bmg rat shot loses 90% of its energy in like 50 feet.
Andersen81
You don't want orange mist all over the place.
wblueskylives
#9 wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
ldferal
They scrape and lick - https://youtu.be/SU0OqkABzVU?si=FzG6LaN7bnpLWIAo
FreePalestineAndTheWorldFromIsrael
I still think this and no one can legally change my mind.
OGBriGuy
As one who was heretofore Team Tooth Straw, the bite and drink method sure does solve for me the lifelong curiosity of why tf the aristocrat vamps were always drinking blood out of goblets. I always figured it was an indulgent behavior and not a replacement for feeding through their fangs.
I promise, 60% of the time I'm not usually this dense. 🤦‍♂️
wblueskylives
OH GOD YOU'RE RIGHT THAT DOES MAKE WAY MORE SENSE. In my head I was like... they can just dip a fang in and slurp slurp slurp, why are they drinking it?
fubizdaddie
Today I learned that this belief is surprisingly common. Wild.
c0dengo
I have read at least one story where this is an actual part of the lore, so I guess it is
wblueskylives
Like.. I know vampire bats bite and then lick the blood up but yeah I always thought the canines got long and hollow so they could bite and drink blood VIA the canines x.x
TheFastpaws
This makes sense the other way is just inefficient.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
#13 Someone hasnt seen a 40cm 2kg rat and it shows.
Fanzel
It's also blocking out the Princess Bride joke about rodents of unusual size.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
I am slightly traumatized by trying to kill a poisoned rat with a snow shovel at work....and needing four swings. (´•̥̥̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥̥̥`)
0RocketCat0
#45: That's an american saying.
KalvynFrost
#43 Also… “The cylinder must remain intact.”
wabitgirl
The actual answer for how to get it out is something like a file or a grind wheel. You can break the seal that way with minimal to no risk to the internal cylinder. Especially if the cylinder is made of plastic.
Tekktokk
lol i searched for it to go relive the memory and the Google AI response came up with this. Spot on, Google.
DorkJedi
it is IMPERATIVE that the cylinder remain unharmed.
MySushi
#25 Scalpers like ticketmaster have now become the official distributors of tickets. They generate artificial scarcity, offering people "last few seats remaining" in perpetuity to drive up prices.
There are too few hair dressers and tattoo artists with talent for the growing population because few people have the drive and the humility to learn and get certified with licenses to perform the job
imreallytrying
#16 i was like "what is that?" And then....
cantbelievethisisstillavailable
#16 wtf is that?
3Davideo
Halloween costume for a rat
Howlingowl
There is a subset of the BDSM community that enjoys “delayed gratification”. That device is locked over the male genitalia to prevent erection/orgasm. This one in particular makes the head look like a cubone pokemon.
FreePalestineAndTheWorldFromIsrael
Cubone cockring?
SirButcher
A cage. For a penis.
MayMayz4DayzYo
A teeny, tiny, reset-your-cable-box weiner cage.
lordnequam
Cuboner
beemarr
#9 To be fair, there are some stories where that is indeed the case.
lordnequam
#26 - I've seen this strange type of meme more and more these days: self-censoring stories talking about the weirdness of old-timey censorship.
JustLettingPeopleBeWrong
SAY FUCK ON THE INTERNET
PizzaCraig
It is actually enraging. Self-censorship like this is akin to admitting that you think "homosexual" is a bad word. To me, it's an insult to both myself and all those penguin dicks I sucked. This Newspeak bullshit is double plus ungood.
Revicus
#5 Jules Bel did not name the Bel group or Babybel cheese brand. The company's brand history page makes no mention of any rats involved. https://belbrandsusa.com/about/history/
whatspaulplayingtoday
Sadly.
0RocketCat0
But, it's written on paper! Nobody lies on paper!
graehall
seeing AI slop printed out in the real world reaaaaally pisses me off
WillLickNudibranchsForBUzz
#9 Well, they do. I haven't seen any evidence or indication it is not the case. I mean, why would they have syringe-like suckers if not for sucking blood?
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Evidence would be plenty of stories that make it clear that's not the case or something in the real world like a vampire bat that bites you then laps at the wound and flowing blood with its tongue.
WillLickNudibranchsForBUzz
Stories are not really evidence. I mean, with that approach you'd have people believing that some can walk on water...
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
We are talking about a fictional affliction that makes people immortal, so to be clear there is no fact based evidence of any kind that human vampires exist in the form described by just about any fictional myths or legends, other than that some people drink and or use blood in food preparation or rituals (generally from animals not people). In regards to the fictional information held within stories (books, legends, films, etc.) there is a variety of ways in which they suck blood.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
So to bring some actual evidence, some real world fact based information, to the discussion I thought I would introduce one of the very few species of non-parasite, non-insect that actually feeds off of blood, hence the namesake, vampire bat. No syringe-like suckers, just teeth and a tongue.
WillLickNudibranchsForBUzz
Your previous post nailed down what I was looking for; they are fictional, there's no evidence, we don't know. That's really what's important, because any interpretation is a valid interpretation as long as vampire drink blood. Bringing real-world facts into fantasy-world stories... I dunno, we are talking about an immortal being with magical properties. Let's not lean too heavily on what we know of our world to guide what should work in 'their' world. Thank you for your time.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Puncturing the jugular, then going sucky sucky with their lips
SirSage
They scrape and lick
WillLickNudibranchsForBUzz
Long pointy teeth are not very good for scraping. I'm not convinced.
AlmightyElephant
#35 i feel like a lot of the time the "This entire tragedy could have been prevented by..." complaints are really just saying thay they found the circumstances surrounding the tragedy unbelievable.
"But the plot wouldn't work if they did that" well then you either need to make us believe the characters wouldn't be able to think of it, or you need to come up with a different plot.
Revicus
Every "why" about fiction has two answers - the reason the author chose to write it, and the reason it happened in the logic of the story. (You sometimes see these respectively called "Doylian" and "Watsonian" answers, in reference to Arthur Conan Doyle and his character Watson) "Genre expectations" answer the first well enough. But it doesn't answer the second, which is where the believability parts you mentioned become important.
BasiliskXVIII
I've worked in IT. The number of times I've seen even otherwise smart people overcomplicate the simplest solutions means that I will never, ever, doubt that this will also happen to movie characters.
Otomasoteraph
#9 They don't?!
SaturnineCult
Some older movies show just 2 pouring wounds after drinking, usually newer ones show their mouths full of blood so they're just drinking it.
lordnequam
So here's the wild thing about a fictional creature: it both does AND doesn't, depending.
Otomasoteraph
Schrödinger Nosferatu
BrockEffingSamson
Maybesferatu.
Clayman8
Depends on the vampire. Some could have that snake-fang thing where the back of the tooth has channels to so blood (where the venom is ejected from on snakes), others just kind of lick/suck it out from the hole punctures directly the same way you would suck out the bouillon from a dumpling
wabitgirl
Depends on mythos. Old school, no, they're puncturing your vein so they can drink your blood how a human would. Modern? It's all over the place. There are definitely some with hollow fangs, some with leech/lamprey tongues, some who do the classic, etc. But nosferatu of old did not have hollow fangs in most stories that I've read.
SailorPupitar
Nah, huge misconception. What they actually do is scrape and lick.
DerpMeister
Ex falso quodlibet
ABunnyCalledChloe
I actually prescribe to the beleif that thier teeth are actually like little air nozzles and that they blow out when they bite. Then they drink the blood that comes out like when you blow into a capri sun. Anyone else? guys?
iDrawStuff
I'm oddly solidly in the "they do" camp, but can totally understand (and agree with) the "they don't" camp.
j4gr
Don’t worry. I can 100% assure you they do. The earth is round. Anyone who says vampires teeth don’t suck the blood like a straw believe the earth is flat.
ADHDinkubus
I decided as a wee child that they suck through their teeth because I learned venomous snake fangs are hollow. Was like 'if stuff can go out, stuff can probably go in.' and 'the anticoagulant in snake fangs probably keeps from leaving a big mess after feeding'... Animal planet thoughts.
ThinkThisOut
Any room for the non believers camp? Or are we 100% bought into vamp’s right to exist?
iDrawStuff
Vampires have as much right to exist as unicorns!
ThinkThisOut
Unicorns…. We have a horned screamer in the air, we’ve got the narwhal in the water…. But a pointy horse. None of that!
FallWind
If they didn't, their teeth would block the blood flow. So they'd have lift their teeth out again after the initial bite and then re-attach to suck the blood. But you never seem the do that, do you? Thus, they must have straw teeth.
thebigbaka
#16 .
mak10z
a cuboner?
Andersen81
A Cunoboner
thebigbaka
It cries milky tears when it thinks about its mom
RedPipe
...i don't like this
johnxbear
#9 some do. That's like a thing with some versions of vamps. They starve if they gave them ripped out.
SalmonTheWise
If they gave them ripped out what?
johnxbear
Have* clearly a typo
SirSage
I would love to find one example and see why they don't just stab a person for the blood. Since the fangs just facilitate bleeding. But the garden variety knife does the same thing and then you just latch on like a lamprey
johnxbear
Gotta love the downvoters that just kneejerk react instead of trying at all
SirSage
Oh my god its from around 2010. This will be a wiki deep dive later. I have to know how they wrote around the fangs being removed means they starve. Thank you
johnxbear
It's legitimately a fun show. The American version blows though.
SirSage
Oh if you've seen it, do they give a reason why losing the fangs is a death sentence and not just drinking blood from someone without fangs?