Mindcrime
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Sep 12, 2025 6:32 PM
Mindcrime
30027
1125
58
percs
Ah yes, the vikings who murdered indigenous people for practically sport, who colonized countless lands, and who raped women as a daily occurrence, are totally the ones to look up to here. Common sense is not common. Wow.
Cosmicfisherman
I'd like to book a room.
MolotovsMeltICE
Hey maga terrorists reading this:
Vikingtransgirl
Fólkvangr won't have them either
TheBlackSonOfTheHonestMan
For reals.... there ain't no Valhalla so ain't nobody there
unluckyandbored
IIRC to enter Valhalla you have to die in battle HONORABLY. Nazis are not fighting an honorable battle.
RoutemasterFlash
It doesn't matter what cause you were fighting for. I mean it doesn't depend on ideology. I bet tons of Nazis fought extremely bravely and sacrificed themselves for their comrades, in which case they'd be well qualified for Valhalla. The fact that they were fighting for a vile ideology is neither here nor there.
EverNotRelevant
IncognitoEnthusiast
I love the sentiment, but no where does it say Odin didn't take the bad ones too. All he cared about was that you fought and died in battle, nothing else mattered.
Lexgeddon
Probably guarantees fodder for that there eternal battle.
Bossco20
Thor has literally worked for the Nazis. By my count he's joined them 3 times. Once in WWII because the Nazis are the decendents of his worshipers, once because some guy looked like Odin and told him to join, and once because a Nazi picked up a fake Mjölnir
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
I would 100% disagree with that.
Valhalla isn’t a moral reward like heaven.
It’s a warrior hall for those chosen to fight at the end of the world. Under Norse rules, nazis and other shitstains could end up there if they died with courage )and if Odin deemed them useful).
carrotsonfire
Valhalla isn't even a reward though. You're basically conscripted to fight in a war. There's no rest, only battle and training for the next battle.
ArdentNature
Uhm, have you read any viking history? I have bad news for you.
Johnsky
The vikings embraced multiculturalism, by force, but they embraced it.
stryhf
There is no such thing as ethnically pure society when you're non-consensual with your slaves.
Johnsky
These are the same people who held their seasonal parties with shrooms and orgies.
WeHaventMet
Dipshits "um akshually-"ing in the comments are so fuccking cringe. Valhalla doesn't exist. The slogan is a rejection of the idea that there is glory in fascist ideology. It is telling them that they have no claim to the "white heritage" theyre so proud of. You people who cannot read between the lines and accept everything at face value are the reason we have a nazi problem to start with.
TheJomsborgViking
Sköl
YippeeKayakOB
Fuck nazis in general, but in Nordic Asatru, going to Valhalla is about dying in combat, not about ethics.
CommodusLeitdorf
Hindu FBI Director tells Protestant Christian Nationalist they will meet in a pagan afterlife. Mormon Governor looks on.
monkeyshines
That might be the Valhalla for the pillow-fight Vikings who were nice to everyone https://imgur.com/qa9owMp
hetjr
A LOT of early Nazis were obsessed with Norse mythology and thought pure Germans were descended from them. The goal was to eliminate mixed breeding and the watering down of pure German blood. Through eugenics and genocide. Not shocked these MAGA clowns are trying to carry on that tradition.
Gryphonosiris
Kash Patel said he'll see Kirk in Valhalla. Fascist don't go to Valhalla, they are sent to Náströnd to be gnawed on by Níðhöggr.
ptenopus
Most unworthy.
TheVampireDante
Well, there is at times, when someone requests a punching bag that squeals.
OrionJC
Not to mention just before Patel mentions seeing him again in Valhalla he also quotes a Naval retirement tradition of having the watch, which is comical because neither men served in the military. These guys are so weak they'll cling to and try and use anything that makes them seem cool/strong/etc.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
There probably would be. Odin wasn't that picky. If you were battle-slain, you'd probably end up in Valhalla. It wasn't a place for good people. It's a place for Odin to stock up on warriors to kill for him.
fiveclovers
I'm sure there's a comic where Thor fights nazis, right?
Animorphs
I imagine this is based on Patel saying he’ll see Charlie Kirk in Valhalla. Source: https://www.thedailybeast.com/keystone-kash-pays-baffling-tribute-to-kirk-see-you-in-valhalla/
Gryphonosiris
Kash Patel said he'll see Kirk in Valhalla. Fascist don't go to Valhalla, they are sent to Náströnd to be gnawed on by Níðhöggr.
TupacAintDead
They definitely don’t die honorable deaths.
Smingersdidit
To be fair, there's nothing in the rules for getting into Valhalla about being a good person. Only that you died bravely and honorably in battle, and Chuckles didn't.
TheCrazyMick
Die "honorably" Nazis can't hence no Nazis in Valhalla, Christian Heaven though? They just have to say sorry and they get in. Give me a fucking break.
TheVampireDante
*TFS Alucard voice* Died like a bitch...
DrDred
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cWUzendpYm01YWczd2xta2JzNnhxa256dW9wN2N2ejV4b252MWN0diZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/4Z9g0DdoJPChn481o6/200w.webp
georgejimmydoodle
Also if you die going down on a woman.
AnonOmis1000
Does dying to a single punch count as dying in combat?
Madara1389
As long as both sides intend to engage in a fight, yes. Being shot when you weren't expecting it doesn't count though.
RoutemasterFlash
If you're going down that route, then shooting someone dead from a large distance away isn't terribly honorable, either.
carlitosmatute
Or using a torpedo by a submarine
RoutemasterFlash
Or probably anything other than hand-to-hand combat, as far as Vikings were concerned.
CedricDur
In the fandom there's this huge discussion on why Spider-man is shown as not worthy of Mjolnir the one time he tries to lift it. Though this is the sort of debacle that was and will never be answered without the writers chiming in someone pointed out that nothing in being 'worthy' meant 'being good'. It is a weapon, blessed by a king, of a norse pantheon, in a culture of warriors and warfare. Only the fans have translated being worthy as being a good person.
CornwindEvil
I have also often felt that the 'worthiness' can be a subjective factor. If the average Avenger is trying to lift the hammer in Thor's room, it won't budge. But if they're in an intense battle and Mjolnir has been separated from Thor and Thor is in deadly danger, then any of the average Avengers could then pick it up and use it, if just to toss it to Thor, or in some cases like Cap or T'Challa or heck, even LOKI if he actually did it in true good faith.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
In one of the DC/Marvel cross-over events, Superman uses Mjolnir. But at the end it's revealed that he was only able to lift it because the charm placed on it by Odin was temporarily lifted. Superman wasn't worthy because he wasn't a true warrior. But Wonder Woman could lift it even with the charm in place because she was.
GRaffted
Even Comb-over McCankles has zero chances of getting into heaven, a waste of $15.
BishlamekGurpgork
And be selected by a Valkyrie; apparently only half of every battle get selected.
Ivain
Idk, I daresay most of them would trip on 'bravely' or 'honorably' or both. The vast majority are backstabbing cowards. There might be a few true zealots who also have the heart of a warrior, I guess, but I've not actually seen one yet.
lasergunpewpewpew
Listen, to be frank … I’d have to change my name.
swedeonamoose
lets be real tho, the vikings that made it there werent exactly saints either with the looting and murdering and burning, basically you could be a right arsehole but if you died in glorious combat you still had a shot.
atoyot
Based on the rules, the vast majority of us wouldn't get to Valhalla. Like 99.9%
BishlamekGurpgork
Not really surprising.
Djchoragos
SOMEBODY had to rescue all the valuables from burning monastaries and such
straha242
eetsumkaus
good thing the Nazis lost then so they died like dogs
ugopb4me
Yeah fair combat, a battle where your life is at risk. Not for any other reason.
Madara1389
Hell, the Asgardians aren't saints either. They're a brutal warrior race whose society is a monarchy where the king has a long history of behaving like a tyrant who imposes his will onto weaker species & became ruler of the nine realms through military conquest.
philmoregraves
You forgot about the r*ping
emu314159127001
They made most of their money slave trading. The bad kind where you get everything chopped, and you're sent to the caliphates
RainCityRogue
Yeah but the Vikings also are where the ideas in the Magna Carta came from
pak0chu
I mean, you just gotta say sorry before you die to get in christian heaven.
BishlamekGurpgork
The sources we have (mostly the poetic edda and prose edda) have several requirements. Dying in battle is one. Second, you must be chosen by a Valkyrie, typically meaning your death must be glorious or meaningful. Half of the fallen go to Freyja’s field Fólkvangr according to Grímnismál and Gylfaginning. Warrior ethos was a third - cowardice or dishonor could bar entry. Courage, skill, and loyalty to the gods are implied as requirements.
I would think that Nazis would typically fail the third.
Bigblackdick69
Also included into Valhalla, dying while eating out a woman apparently.
HezzaSmith000
Yeah but when the goal of your whole culture/religion is to die in combat, it's kinda expected.
zombiejedediah
Those were business opportunities.
Zixtank
True, but they didn't discriminate. They killed, robbed and raped everyone equally.
MithridateEupator
Show me any evidence that vikings were not racist. It seems to be a thing that happens in most cultures so I'd be shocked if they were just accepting of everyone equally.
rshini
Because racism as we see it now is more of a modern concept - mainly to justify slavery and colonialism, prior to that period, most lines of bigotry fell under religious or cultural,
MithridateEupator
You seriously think someone from the middle ages wouldn't feel xenophobia upon seeing someone who looks significantly different than every person they've ever met?
GloriousPirateBeard
Valhalla was not heaven, it was a training ground for ragnarok. If they could fight Odin would've taken nazis no problem
DarkDuskBlade
Yep, people are basically saying they want to be in the worst boot camp ever. For eternity. I'd tell them to go read the Asgard Rick Riordan stuff, but I wouldn't want to put him in their scope. Actually really curious was Disney will do with Nico
ArchMagos
Exactly. The popular idea of Valhalla today is that of heaven, but that's thanks mostly to Christians trying to convert adherents to the old ways. Valhalla is for the Einherjar to achieve even greater combat prowess so that they may fight for The Allfather during Ragnarök. Most people go to Hel, not to be confused with Hell. Hel is the norse root of the english word Hall, as in a place of dining and socialization.
secretdpp
Thank you. Its fucking aggravating being a Norse pagan and having to hear these dipshits try and hope cancer kids are in Valhalla
laternamagicalux
Is this something americans believe?
From us Scandis: Valhalla is a house. With tables and benches and such inside. There is a party going on there. The house is Oden's home and stands in Asgård. Please stop confusing it with anything else.
KnightWithShiningCamera
We actually know nothing about Viking culture. The earliest record is written by Christian monks 250 years after the Viking era ended. Vikings have been used as propaganda by many nations. Don’t fall for it.
wherewehavebeen
That would be a kool read got a link? Im about to play ac valhalla so it'll be fun to think about.
KnightWithShiningCamera
Note that the events depicted in AC:V are more referring to events around 9th century, which places the works in the two links closer to 500 years later than the events.
KnightWithShiningCamera
Snorres younger Edda https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/18947
KnightWithShiningCamera
Poetic Edda 14th century https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/73533
Etherealvalentine
It's funny (sad) that this propaganda is still somehow the first thing some people bring up when they think of viking communities. Viking communities were a lot more nuanced than some people choose to learn or believe. Britain did a good job with their propaganda, because in 2025 it is still popular belief that the Vikings were more violent than the rest of Europe.
rbudrick
Well, religions, myths, legends, etc do reflect their people and it doesnt help the image.
Etherealvalentine
It helps even less when victors are the ones writing history, and when modern people find it easier to just agree with historical propaganda, than to examine themselves on whether or not they might truly know what they are talking about. It's easy to be flippant, when you don't think the truth matters.
ChazzK
Norse communities were absolutely like that... However the propaganda about Vikings was fairly accurate, as "the Vikings" were those that went on raids and wars and calling "bribe us to not burn your entire country down" diplomacy.
It would be like historians millennia from now calling the 21st-century US "The Marine Age"
Dpatgotbanned
Don't forget slavers.
swedeonamoose
Ye but we mostly just owned other white people so it is fine /s
TailinSero
Slave does come from Slav, as in Slavic people.
powerrangersareracict
slavery is a big topic and the american version is not an accuarte depiction of all slavery... in a lot of history in a lot of the world "slavery" was more like working at a fast food resturant than the bullshit that happened in the americas
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powerrangersareracict
Are you the dumbest person alive or just in the top five?
philmoregraves
Is this a prageru tag line or some shit?
powerrangersareracict
Dpatgotbanned
So you are justifying slavery? Somehow, what you're saying makes it better? ANY slavery is bad. Ffs what year is this? Are you a Prager U production?
powerrangersareracict
You want to dial it back a few or are you just a raging asshole all the time. Read a fucking book you retard. Fuck! LEARN SOME FUCKING HISTORY YOU STUPID FUCK. Maybe then the world won't be such a terrible place to live. Stupid dumb fucks like you who think they know everything and are completely unwilling to even learn a little history are the root of all problems.
tinctures
Chattel slavery, which is what we had in the US, is (as I understand it) the worst kind. There have been many forms of slavery in history and in other regions that, while still awful, were less awful than the really world class version we had here. I mean, we also still very much have slavery in the US, and while it's awful, it's not as awful as the born-into-it, never-get-out-of-it version.
Dpatgotbanned
I am well aware of the differences. Vikings were still slavers even though they could be considered nicer to their slaves.