Freyja33
53850
913
43
Historically NonCredible
/s
corpofilth
BeepBeepImA
#8 the house started costing you money as soon as you bought it - council tax, up-keep, insurance. (All those other items are stupid people willing to pay above the normal price.)
besttom
#16 I saved this in my "music" folder AND my "Matt Groening" folder.
Volimar
NGL mangomouse took me a minute.
sadurdaynight
Women would rather hang out with a burly gay man than a straight man. That sounds about right. At least the burly gay guy won't try to pull any shit on them. And, at worst, will probably drag her to a leather club to do some shots and talk shit about people.
TravelingTableTop
#5 Hatman is now an ally
FreddyFender
#10 This got me. This broke through the cold hard shell. This
Luvlyquants
#10 it is how WW3 starts :)
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Axis vs. Axis! WW3: Cartesian!
Marsupialmessiah
#12 in the us... a tacoma (you still can get a manual with the 2.4 l 4 banger gas, no diesel)
geoffreyfourmyle
#13 need some more Travis memes; the character was criminally underused
Redshadow09
#1 What is this fucking bear everyone is talking about?!
wherewehavebeen
Kind of a thought experiment. You ask a woman if they would rather encounter a bear or man while walking alone in the woods, roughly. As someone said the answers drastically overstated the amount of abusers in the world but paints an interesting picture of how safe ladies are and how safe they perceive themselves. Been a rather engaging meme actually.
HundredsAnd100s
Someone surveyed a lot of women recently and most said they would feel safer coming across a bear in the woods than a random man. Women (rightfully) don't trust strange men. Most men seemed to understand why, but some are having a hard time understanding why.
HundredsAnd100s
Anyway, somehow it became a meme. That I don't know about.
rshini
most because of men having utter meltdowns and proving WHY women are choosing bears, less weird murder-incel energy.
SaganIsMyLordAndSavior
#5 THIS IS REAL THIS IS A REAL POST https://www.reddit.com/r/DPH/s/oBj5RfHByh
TheNextHafthorBjornsson
#15 the stubbornness in me believes maybe I can do this
Freyja33
I mean I'm sure I'd *learn*, just pretty sure a couple of planes would crash during the learning process
Freyja33
In all seriousness though, on-the-job training is a really good thing, and a lot more employers should be doing that rather than only hiring people who went to college for something related. What ultimately matters in an ATC controller is that they do their job correctly and safely and know all of the relevant regulations and procedures. Anyone who can learn that and demonstrate clear knowledge is capable enough to do it, and I bet a lot of people could pick that up without a multi-year degree.
Columbus43219
#3 This was a short story I wrote for fan fiction. Borg just start a church and people join willingly.
Slots
#10 I'm angry because they didn't add oil or anything.
Noughmad
I don't know if you want to add oil to pasta or to sushi, but in both cases I think I found the American.
Slots
Oil to the rice so it doesn't stick.
NunyaBNess1
Sushi rice is supposed to be sticky.
Slots
Sushi rice has sugar in it. That will stick to your pan and burn if you aren't careful.
Djkb6718
#10 oh shit, WW3 is popping off now.
aPokal
#7
GigglingWordBearer
At this point it's cringey to NOT get that your warlock is the sugarbaby of an eldritch/fey/demonic being.
aPokal
Please, we are professional. Call us divine mercenary.
Togame21
The difference between a paladin and a warlock is 'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned' versus 'I'm so sorry daddy, I've been a bad little warlock'
CodyBurkett
#3 the dream
WalkerRiley
#1: Not gettin any, either.
mullinsmark007
#1 who ever made this meme didn't pay attention to what kind of person Soldier Boy was. He'd kill the bear and force himself on to the woman on top of its corpse.
LoquaciousDude
The irony of #1, the character is a massive sexist
Skuggen
The Warlock: Um, yeah, the books for me too, definitely. Or maybe my ancestral bloodline. One of those. Very wholesome.
JayDeeDubs
Magic sugar baby
randomwalrus
Ever suck a dick for a cantrip? Warlocks have.
varesya
"Wizards are the kids who do well in school because they spend all their time studying. Sorcerers are the kids who don't have to study, they just pass the tests with ease. Meanwhile the Warlocks are fucking the teacher."
ShimmerinStrider
#10 as an Italian, LMAO
JustSomePersonThere
As a human being: GROSS. Japanese dude was clearly being good-natured, and meant no offense. Italian dudes went full hate-crime and it made them look crazy thin-skinned.
ICutRocksOnYoutube
As a child of light in a universe of sorrows... fuckin chill, dog.
JustSomePersonThere
Thank you.
ICutRocksOnYoutube
Dude on the left knows he's committing an atrocity for the honor of our people. But it must be done.
somnif
I mean, it's salmon, it's not exactly 'respected' as sushi to begin with.
ViscousCousCous
#10 When I was 16 I was allowed to bring 5 friends to the local teppanyaki place, and one girl ordered the sashimi platter, not knowing what it was. She ended up cooking most of the seafood on a corner of the grill, much to the chef's (Japanese trained chef who barely spoke English but he had been serving me since I was 10 when I go there because he golfs with my dad) utter amusement. He told her about seasoning and gave a wee cooking class at the table. Top 2 best birthdays.
KPodol
#8 I don't know for some of these cases, some people are just collector but eventually decide to sell some of their collections when they need money or to make some places. Just have to look how expensive retro video games are.
IceWeaselX
The key difference is "eventually" for those collectors. Scalpers sell heavily marked up goods that are still technically available on the current mass market. They contribute to the scarcity, artificially driving up the demand.
Collectors generally sell their goods long after they're no longer produced.
KPodol
Some Jordan's are not available anymore, i'm pretty sure some Cirno's dolls can also be in limited numbers, likewise lego sets goes out of production quite regularly. Some of these are literally collectors items.
NinjaSpork
what does #1 mean. And that guy looks like a cross between Gary Cole and David Tennant, but I guess it's the Supernatural guy?
tr26
It is a reference to a meme about what’s more dangerous to encounter, and yes
NinjaSpork
ah - thank you and subsequently knowyourmeme
TheeKeelhaul
Yes, his name is Jensen Ackles. 8D
Geistbar
#9 I don't get it. Someone please explain?
finalwolf
as other say.. modern slang. Gyatt is slang for ass/butt
smashpro1
Modern slang that was actually used in WW2 for ship names.
Geistbar
Thanks!
Itaru
#9 Can someone explain? I'm dumb
vmos
young people language
Rathan5
Gyatt, rizz, and sigma are all apparently recent-ish slang. I assume the other one is also somehow
SadsPikkelson
Rizzi->rizz->charisma, gyatt->gyot damn->god damn
ksmitx
https://youtu.be/eJoViV5T1g0
MrDrMatt
Thanks, I think.
GCRust
New generational slang actually being WW2 era ship names.
Xanadulou
If that's new slang then damn am I out of touch
GCRust
Eyup.
Bondsmith10
It might be something more because I'm also dumb, but I think it's just that the pic is implying a lot of newish slang comes from old warship nomenclature
ghsdkgb
Actually the ships were named after the slang terms
CJAW
Correct, slang which was learned during the Philadelphia experiment
dudeloveall
Ok, what new slang cane from uss ohio?
captainswoopty
whitefoxkei
Always has been.
Maulbert
#1 Honestly, as a man, I would rather meet a bear in the woods than another man, too. Any of you ever see Deliverance?
aflarge
I hike a mountain every year as part of a family tradition. Every person I see in those woods is delightful, and the campground takes bear prevention VERY seriously. Put all your garbage/anything edible up on the bear line, and carry everything you brought in, out with you.
Jagernot
If you walk into the woods today, you better go in disguise. If you walk into the woods today, you're in for a big surprise....
ShimmerinStrider
I hear pigs squealing
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Nope, but I've seen Brave so I know that any bear is probably a mother and daughter reconnecting.
CJAW
Based off the bears in brave, it's either that or an ancient prince who wanted the whole kingdom for himself and is now very angry
Valthek
Counterpoint: if you're lost in the woods and run into a dude, you can steal his phone to get out of the woods. Probably his car keys too, for easy transport. (Pick the bear though, it's probably safer)
Zappers42
No, but I’ve seen the revenant
Sensiblyinteresting
When I first saw this I thought it meant a large hairy gay man and I was like hell yeah! I bet that dude is fun af. I choose him too over some random guy
KyleZombie
No but I've seen the Revenant.
armedandfriendly
I just like bears.
RedAppleSoda
Most people are decent and will help. It’s a ridiculous meme in that gets people to drastically overestimate the number of predators and abusers in the world. That being said, it highlights the size of the fear people have of those abusers, and that is instructive to many.
WhyDoesItSmellLikeThat
The amount of dudes getting bent out of shape over this is telling. I'm a dude and I choose the bear. I know it will run off or kill me. It's about predictability.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
The amount of men thinking we misunderstood how dangerous bears are and we made a mistake in our choice is amazing.
littlecoatfatguy
I’m amazed you’re amazed.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Fair. Mansplaining dies hard.
Gremlynn4023
i've literally seen signs of nearby mountain lions when isolated on a trail and been less anxious than i am isolated around a dude i don't know.
Lugh314159
A bear in the woods is FAR more likely to just be chillin'. Another dude in the woods? He's there for a reason!
Noughmad
The reason:
SillySnowFox
I still love that scene.
Quebeker
Same reason you are. Looking for « bears »
Lugh314159
Halla!
wabitgirl
Every bear I've ever met in the woods has been more surprised by and scared of me than I was of it. Me screaming bloody murder at them whenever it happens probably helps with that, but still.
reineseele
Since you seem to do a peticular sexual thing before doin the screaming part the bear was heckin confused...you perv. ^^
crushingbore
wabitgirl
...what the actual fuck are you talking about?
reineseele
thought you liked watchin bears in the wild. while doin stuff. my error.
leshawk
If you saw me in the woods. I'mma be rapidly approaching your location to gift you this cool stick i found:
aflarge
Understandable, that's a pretty good stick.
MirroredImage
Men will just chase random women through the woods screaming, "Do not run! I need you to take my stick! Please, this will only take a minute!"
Nah, that really is a cool stick, though. That one's quality. I'd wonder why you didn't want it and assume you were using it to lure me closer. But it IS objectively a really cool stick.
leshawk
If its a woman I'd be running. I don't want no smoke.
Noughmad
I have met many men in the woods, none attacked me so far. I have never met a bear, but I heave heard warnings like "there is a bear in this area, be careful" on the TV, as well as news reports of bears mauling people. It might help that the bears in my country are brown.
eadanke
I thought the meme was making fun of people who'd pick bear. Internet paranoids aren't going to leave the house let alone go hiking.
wabitgirl
Are you a man or a woman?
Noughmad
Man, like the person I was replying to.
wabitgirl
Then, unfortunately, your experiences with other men in the woods is not a valid data point for this conversation.
Noughmad
This conversation started with "As a man", and I responded to that.
GCRust
General speaking, when I'm in the woods it's specifically to avoid other people.
ActionJohnnie
I thought it was a musical.
Snooj
Everyone gives that kid shit but he was a great player and nothing bad happened in that scene. He wasn't connected to ... the other stuff.
jerbern1
I have a chance of fighting off a human. A bear wants to eat me that's it.
Maulbert
If a man or bear is looking to harm you, the bear is easier to discourage.
jerbern1
Bear mace works on both.
Chezoso
According to the Forbes article about this more people die from bee stings than bear attacks. Most Bear encounters don't result in an attack
aflarge
More people are killed by vending machines than sharks. Want to take a swim with a great white?
MirroredImage
Yes. I know more or less how to deal with sharks, too. Don't freak out and splash away like prey. 99% are really just curious at best and will fuck off once they realize you're not food. You can gently redirect them by grabbing their snout or, if aggressive, go for the gills.
Men, like vending machines, cannot be reasoned with on a bad day and will crush me without argument.
downrightmike
“Hey bro you got any trail mix? You do, can I have it? I can? Thanks bro, imma head out”
Crowlands
I feel like the frequency that humans interact with bees is more relevant to that statistics than the actual danger a bee poses to the average person.
I'm more likely to die eating a sandwich than I am from being hit by a meteor. But if I'm told one of those will occur tomorrow, I'm ordering the chicken and bacon sub.
BeingABotIsRad
I feel like "dying either way" invalidates the question, though.
Crowlands
Sorry, to clarify, I meant: If I'm told I can either eat a sandwich or get hit by a meteor, I'll choose the sandwich, despite the fact that statistically, I'm more likely to die from attempting to eat a sandwich.
jerbern1
Most human encounters don't result in an attack either.
Chezoso
Yea I really get that but I think I would also be hesitant to encounter a random person in the woods. I know why a bear is there.
jerbern1
Like don't get me wrong. I get what people are saying about feeling safer around a bear in the woods than a man. But realistically a bear is probably concerned about what any human is doing in the woods and try to get rid of them if they are too close for comfort.
jerbern1
Yeah and that bear is possibly protecting cubs. A random guy is probably doing the same thing I am if I'm walking around in the woods.
wabitgirl
True, but statistically, it is many times more likely that a human is GOING to attack you than a bear, especially if you're a woman alone and the human is a man. This isn't opinion, it's statistical data. The bear is LITERALLY the safer choice for women, statistically (yes, proximity, frequency of encounter, yadda yadda, it all plays in, but the point stands, a bear in the woods will likely leave, a man in the woods gives no such assurances in any way, shape, or form)
jerbern1
A bear gives the same amount of assurances as a man. Which is none.
sadurdaynight
I've had awkward encounters with male strangers before. Animals are more predictable. I know a bear might be dangerous. I can steer clear of the bear. If the bear charges at me, I can try to scare it or try to curl up and protect myself. I know what I'm getting into with the bear. But, I rented a room one time. There was another roomie there. I'd come home. He'd look down from the stair banister at me just staring. I'd say "hi". He'd say nothing. Dude freaked the shit out of me.
AnOceanOfStars
I mean, we all agree on the general matter, but if this is the level of the discussion, for one weird dude like that you also encountered countless dudes who didn't even pay attention to you; by the same logic, if you encounter a similar amount of bears, you're bound to find at least one who'll be dangerous AF and won't back off unless you shoot it down.
littlecoatfatguy
It’s incredible how close you manage to get to “I can’t tell if this is going to be the one that kills me” while still completely failing to get your head around the point.
With bears, you’re exactly right, that number is one in something and everyone agrees that’s reasonable.
With a dude you’re renting an apartment from, that number should be an unquestionable fucking zero, it’s psychotic that we even have to talk about this.
rshini
One of the big difference is, if you get attacked by a bear, you'll be believed. Attacked by a man? they'll try to find a way to discredit you so that nice young man's sports career isn't ruined.
AnOceanOfStars
Yeah, those damn young sport rapists are everywhere.
BeingABotIsRad
Nah. They're mostly only around children.
littlecoatfatguy
You started off so close to getting it, and then it took you one more post to go Full Angry Denial.
Yes, in fact, “young man avoids consequences of committing sexual assault, because sports” is entirely fucking common.
yamamasyamaha
depends on proximity and species of bear. Black bear at 100 meters? Bear. 1 meter? Man. Why? A man at 100 meters is more likely to approach than the bear. At 1 meter, the bears general sharpness and appetite for flesh become more of an issue. Maybe it runs away. Maybe it gets scared and kills me. I could kill a man a lot more easily than a bear.
Now a polar bear - I’m taking the man no matter who he is.
Ladies, get a shirt knife. Wears like a necklace under your shirt, one hand grab and stab
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
We're not confused about how dangerous bears are.
CairoLen
The polar bear will just kill you. A man can do worse.
yamamasyamaha
Worse than eat your intestines out of your body while you’re alive? the odds that any one man will actually hurt you are probably lower than the bear. I am aware of statistics, but the number of interactions anyone has with a man in a year that go fine are incredibly high. 350 million people in the USA so what…. 500 billion interactions with a man annually that rare safe? Plus the man most likely to hurt you is someone you know.
CairoLen
I'd almost rather have my intestines clawed out than listen to another man bitch and whine about people choosing the bear. Jesus Christ. Women (and plenty of men) are telling us they feel safer with a fucking bear than with us, and instead of learning, we quote stats at them to tell them they're wrong. Stfu.
Yeah, I'm choosing the bear too. Especially if you're the strange man.
yamamasyamaha
lol ok. FYI the men you know are far more likely to murder you than literally anyone else, including the bear and any random dude
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
We're not confused about how dangerous bears are. But they aren't our natural predators.
yamamasyamaha
Mhm
wabitgirl
Counterpoint: do NOT get a knife, using a knife is a great way to turn assault into murder, especially if you're not skilled with a knife and facing someone significantly stronger than you. You are as likely to hurt yourself with a knife in a brawl as your opponent. Opt for a taser or pepper spray. Both fit on the keychain (no reaching under a shirt, can palm it if you're at all nervous) and are much more likely to make your attacker incapable of following you.
stickywiggit
This!!! Also if you DO land the first blow and find out later the person was innocent/mentally impaired/other oopsie then you probably didn't kill them and don't have to live with the guilt.
wabitgirl
*almost as likely, sorry, incredibly tired. You're probably not going to stab yourself the way you'll stab someone else, but still, knives are not a great self defense weapon if it actually comes to a physical altercation. They're an okay deterrent, but at that point, just go for a CC permit and carry a gun. People might think they can beat someone with a knife. No one who isn't dumb as fuck thinks they can beat someone with a gun.
yamamasyamaha
Fair points - people on here hate guns and people who have them I figured I’d go with the simple approach. What you say is true. You really shouldn’t take advice from Imgur - not even from yourself
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
if they' know about the 21 foot rule there's a good chance they may be more inclined to fight someone with a gun then a with a knife
wabitgirl
That is true, but either way, if you're at the point of using potentially lethal force, things have already gone bad enough that you're in deep shit. 21 foot rule doesn't apply to tasers though.