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alt text: Screenshot of a post by Trammell Hudson @th@v.st:
@platypus my bank used to allow custom security questions, so I set one to "what are you wearing?" and the answer to "that's very inappropriate please transfer me to your manager". the first time an customer service rep encountered it they couldn't stop laughing and had to actually transfer to a coworker to complete the call.
Dec 4, 2024 at 10:32 AM
lapus
willpostanything
my bank used to allow custom security questions, so I set one to "what are you wearing?" and the answer to "that's very inappropriate please transfer me to your manager". the first time an customer service rep encountered it they couldn't stop laughing and had to actually transfer to a coworker to complete the call.
UncleMartha
This sounds... like it was ganked from a Eugene Mirman album.
zoeytg
I've switched to making passwords phrases like that. Best change I've made. Lot easier to remember and less hassle to regularly change. By that I mean a phrase like "I like 2 run up hills all day!" Smoosh it together, got a password. I might cut off a few words to shorten it, but you get the idea.
Knifesmith
Yeah, but now we've got you sussed out Zoey... or should I say KATE BUSH!
zoeytg
I'm ashamed to admit I had to look up that reference . I should have known that one. 😢
DongleDingler
A family friend decades ago said he had the same security question, but the answer was "nothing but a smile"
hnngh
"Please state your secret passphrase"
"ᴵ ᵃᶦⁿ'ᵗ ⁿᵒ ʰᵒˡˡᵃᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵍᶦʳˡ"
"Sorry, I didn't get that, please state your secret passphrase"
"I AIN'T NO HOLLABACK GIRL"
Blampie
An customer. An fucking customer? Come ooon dude. It ruined the whole post. Just read an book.
umbrellamaker
Uuuhh, khakis?
SubTrout
They stole this joke from comedian Eugene Mirman from one of his older comedy specials, who you might know from voicing Gene on Bob's Burgers.
thotterpop
Yup, was gonna say the same thing.
kantackistan
As amusing as it is, stealing this idea in real life is very dumb. "Oh I heard this joke before. Hey guys, free bank account!"
crazyspelling
But if that were my question, the answer would be "Sean Connery's red costume from Zardoz, why?"
Snooj
Never heard it but this is exactly his style of joke. I love his standup.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
knew I had heard it somewhere long ago.
relsky
What kind of shitty AI-powered bot post is this?
Feralkyn
Does not look like AI or bot? Dude has comments & posts both
skrimg59
great story, can i hear it again?
DulothX
I mean... I put in incorrect answers, generally, but ones that I know. My ex-wife would have no idea t my security question.
shitheadtookmyname
The answer to all my security questions (which are actually BAD for security if you don't do this) are all very long random character strings. "Mom's first name" is a security risk bc a hacker has a non trivial chance of guessing right. Emily or Janet or something.
Rodville
I did that once. I put the question as "How do you like your job?" and forgot about it instantly. A year or so later I needed to call in and the dude out of the blue asks me how I liked my job. I was coming off a 16 hour shift because my replacement no showed so I said "It fucking sucks!" and he goes "I guess that works" and I'm like huh?!?! and he explained it was my security question. The answer I put was "my crappy job"
skibbyAU
I named my two bank accounts: international arms deals money, and drug money. I was called the next day by a concerned bank security member. I had to change it because apparently hiding in plain sight is frowned upon.
IDownvoteKhaby
When I worked in a bank call center I hated these because customers would always forget the answer. Then they'd get annoyed that they had to go through extra identity verification.
RevRagnarok
LOL I had to call tech support for work once... "What's your favorite movie?" "Um.... you see I put it as a joke answer, I thought I'd have to put it into a form... not tell an actual person..."
darkstarmc
Lie. It's easy to social engineer your real answers. They can even guess some answers from the reverse (favorite band/sport being your least for instance). How the fuck you gonna social engineer someone's favorite sport being the Ford model T or their favorite band being kinder surprise chocolate for instance. Lie in a way that's easy for you to remember. Favorite food? Toes. Favorite book? Mustard. Etcetera etcetera.
NotGoodAtUserNames1
Our customers are allowed to set an account passcode that we ask for - and it can be any word or phrase they want. We just ask for “their passcode.”
The shit that people set as their’s is amazing. We’ve seen poopoo, peepee, ballsack, etc.
Just wonderful.
IrateWolfe
Used to work at a call center, and had to ask a dude for his email- at first he insited that he didn't have one, and when I told him he had to have one or he couldn't possibly have an account with us, he sighed really heavily, and then in the most embarrased voice admitted that his email was (something like) queeflord420
Raett
I had someone who called in regularly to change hers. There are not enough characters to use "the crow files at midnight," but we cut vowels/ words till it worked.
Kiore
I had a very sheepish fellow who for some reason thought he'd never need to use it whisper, "Uhh.. blowme, all one word, all lowercase."
amp99
Reminded me of this.
ministryofpeace
This actually helps with our diagnosis, thank you for participating
amp99
dyac
Along the same sort of lines, something you can do that really fucks people up is to answer your phone pretending to be a voicemail greeting but not actually being misleading,
eg. "Hello, you've reached #Name. #Name is currently available. Please state your name and reason for calling and #Name will have a conversation with you".
It really messes with people's heads and they just start spluttering.
tidepool
Back in the early 00s my voice mail was “hello? …. hello? …..I can’t hear you, hello? …. Are you there????….. I’m just kidding, I can’t answer the phone right now, please leave a message, byeeee” and I had so many vms all “omg you got me with that”.
Californiajackson
Mine was, "My ducts are clean and my windows have been replaced. Otherwise leave a message."
gdex86
"Seriously I have to ... Ok 'Tell me what you want, what you really really want?"
"a Zig a zig ah"
spiritussancto
I spent ten years in tech support. You would immediately become my favorite customer ever and nothing would make me transfer you. I'm keeping you. You're mine now
mondeca
They "used to" allow custom security questions. I think I know why.
mizzamir
Because NIST did research and determined that most people just pick stuff like "What is 12345" and the answer is "12345"
gsmdo
ParaspriteHugger
I guess that's more safe than selecting the bullshit everyone can find out with social engineering or looking it up in social media.
pandemicmodedad
Good luck. I only use imgur and purposely make my passwords weird that no one would guess.
Maviyakuku
These tragic traps are especially unsafe if you only speak English.
d3jake
That's why you select questions, and give inaccurate or off the wall answers to. Write them down somewhere. Now they are never social engineering-able.
KaptainObveeus
What was your brother's maiden dog's name in high school?
superdinglebudgie
Or you pick random words.
Heisanevilgenius
I like to sign up for store point cards and the like with fake names. No one checks or cares. It's fun and I use a different name every time so if I ever get random junk mail I know where their info came from. Anyway one day I got a phone call from the bank asking to speak to Lance Von Superman and I had to pretend like I didn't know what they were talking about.
intashu
Reminds me of the time someone got a credit card offer for their dog because they used their dogs name to sign up for some sites... Send the offer back and recieved a functional credit card for about a month or two in their dogs name before they started calling to verify the dogs SSN.
archimboldi
Until now
MarkWatneysVicodinPotato
That's why my answers are not the actual answer to the question, that way only I know it.
ParaspriteHugger
Until you forget it
MarkWatneysVicodinPotato
If I forget it, something major happened to my brain and I probably wouldn't need it anymore anyway 🤷
CrimeSceneShoe
They have to guess the names of my imaginary kids
pancreas
i just used slurs since it's unlikely people would guess that
LoftheDesert
I would usually answer different questions when answering these things. Stuff like
Where were you born? And I'd post my favorite band.
Problem was I'd forget which answers went to which.
Snooj
Just put the questions and answers into whatever program you use to manage your passwords. There's usually a notes field.
LoftheDesert
Aye, but I don't think I have any account now that uses security questions. It's all emails, secondary emails and sms.
Blacktusk
I thought I gave them the real answer once and after locking myself out, customer service had to gently lead me to the fact that "the street I grew up on" was "Burt Reynold's Mustache."
meganical
I’m tired of them always having the same set of security questions. First pet is questionable because I technically killed mine before it was named since I didn’t know fish needed water to survive and then I don’t remember any of the pets before dogs and those weren’t really MY pets. I also didn’t have a favorite elementary teacher. My mom’s maiden name is easy to find out. Childhood friend brings back unhappy memories. They just suck all around. It’s not like fun questions only you would know
Wolfshead009
Try any of the "street you grew up on" or similar when you were an Army brat. I had seven addresses by the time I graduated high school. And two different high schools.
ReturnoftheZombiePlagueApocalypse
Thing is - the answers dont have to be true. Just as long as YOU remember them. Elementary Teacher - Godzilla. Best friend, Batman. First pet - Godzilla
darthinebriated
Well now Godzilla is now my answer to any of these questions.
TripleDane
They SHOULDN'T be true. those questions are horrible for security and baseline security theater. anyone using this over a proper TOTP should be flaged as low security
PanNonOpticon
Problem is, it's easier to remember if they are true.
vzero1
put them in a password manager and they can be as random as you want
PanNonOpticon
Those are used when you forget the password. If you use password manager and lose it, you would lose the answers too for the security questions.