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(originally posted by @WiggleMyDick on 2019-06-02 02:57:44)
Jun 1, 2020 7:00 AM
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(originally posted by @WiggleMyDick on 2019-06-02 02:57:44)
BearUnhinged
I've done my time. Dobby has no master.
LysergicLentil
I've saved this in my self improvement folder, for if i ever want to be in a relationship again
BoppXyro
I am a therapist at a men's residential treatment center for substance abuse and mental health. Men get blamed in domestic situations (1/?)
BoppXyro
and end up with criminal records because they engage with unhealthy women who choose this behavior. Do not accept it, guys. It's wrong.
chickensareawesome
I want to tell the teen girl that you are teaching your brain to be abusive when you're unhappy. That's a very dangerous road to travel.
Eldibs
Slapping is like spanking. You should only do it with consent.
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
I mean, a spank is just a slap in a nice place.
Babybunz
@op has issues with women
pm1001
There are girls like that? Wow. Not sarcasm, I never encountered it directly or indirectly.
uitSCHOT
Brave of you to assume I'll ever find a girlfriend
Ireallydontknowwhattowritedownhere
GetSchwiftyNow
AlienNippleAntennae
I will not abide, the dude does not abide man!
SecondSince
*angrily throws mug*
HereForTheSurpriseMeat
I had an ex fiancé who did almost every single one of those things. Started small and grew. It’s hard to see when you’re inside, sucked bad
FireflyArc
This applies to both genders...just..just dont be jerks.
gingerminge
I had to stop talking to a friend bc she was tracking her husband's cellphone and controlling his food it was crazy. I tried to tell him...
gingerminge
...it was abusive but he couldn't hear me about it. I hope he's safe.
DouglasPouchOfHolding
MOMS! STOP TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTERS THAT THIS BEHAVIOR IS EMPOWERING! MOMS! STOP TEACHING YOUR SONS TO ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT!
walkingtallmachinegunman
Posts like this help remind me how fucking awesome my wife is, and reminds me to stop stressing the small and stupid shit.
secretdpp
Make sure it actually is small shit
walkingtallmachinegunman
It is, Im pretty easily annoyed. Im working on it.
PiiCii
Grats on having an awesome wife, bro!
zimirken
I read this as stop stressing and smell the stupid shit
Oultnil
Humanity, don't be a dick.
JoshOfTheDeep
But it soooooo hard :(
vowofloudness
And you don't have to have a dick to be a dick.
BatmanOSX
Witches hammer
FooQuuxman
Seems a little much to ask don't cha think?
FedExForExplosives
I feel like this should be a law
VidiVeniThenSheLeft
"No." - Humanity
WalksWithNoFear
You’re asking for a lot there.
SoftKleenex
I absolutely agree, but this kind of down plays the double standards in society that need to be called out
SammySilence
I don't know, you're asking a lot there...
PardusXY
I think Team America kind of summed things up well along those lines, sometimes you gotta be a dick to deal with arseholes.
ElusiveThing
I came here to post something like this. You hit the nail on the head 100%. Thank you for this simple, but amazingly accurate message.
johnnyboy1996
That's pretty controversial
englishdave23
Humanity, don't be a vagina.
milante
Humanity is historically REALLY BAD at this
Ornado
ExoCyberBit
It's not really considered normal though?
thatprickleypear
I slapped my boyfriend regularly as a teen. I still feel immense guilt that I did that. What I did was not okay and never will be.
FairyWren
Read the whole list carefully to make sure I didn't tick any of the boxes. Not a single one.
ohthatwordbumsmeout
Originally posted by WiggleMyDick
ruint
Leave abusive partnetrs. Why does gender have to come into this? Scum isn't a gender, and it isn't a skin colour. Some people are just bad.
bigboneded
I was in a 15-year marriage and didn't know it was abusive. I thought my wife was acting like all wives. Some men need to hear this, too.
Someshithead241
Because in this case, one genders abuse is accepted and downplayed by society. Treated as if its normal and not abuse.
IDidntDoIt
Gender comes into it because woman are not often seen as the abusers and men as the abused. So breaking that stigma allows people to gethelp
missymischief13
Aaargh this behaviour from anyone makes me so furious! Don’t care how you gender identify or what your sexuality is, this shit is not ok, k?
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
It's all just insecurity, turned into agression in order to not have to work on one's own self image issues.
ShaunDreclin
People should just hate themselves quietly, not bring others down with them. I'm doing my part!
missymischief13
Accurate
DagothWit
Lost a DnD buddy because his wife was insecure. She accused him of cheating with one of our players.
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
"I hear you talking about fucking La'zzandra the queen of Mil-Terra!" Little did she know, La'zzandra was played by a 40 y/o trucker.
Usernamethatwittilydescribesme
Just came to say this thing is riddled with typos and repetitive items. (Hitting is there 3 times)
vash77
Get off your high hose and join the heman women haters club gees
JamesJabberwocky
that of course imediately invalidates the post's point.
GayLad158
How do I save a post?
TurtleBrawler
Just for reference, every image can be downloaded on the desktop version by clicking the ellipsis (three dot button) at the very bot of post
tbomber
Long press on each panel of the post and download,or tap the heart icon at the bottom to add to your favorites.
dafawkudoin
I generally add cement to the point it covers the damaged portion of the post. Prop with 2x4’s.
tbomber
Replace with pressure treated when neccesary.
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
Give your girlfriend your phone and ask her to
GayLad158
We don’t live together lol
MrFlibbleIsVeryCross
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Pull it out of the ground, rinse all the dirt off, let it dry, then treat it with something that'll long-tern waterproof- oh an IMGUR post?
GayLad158
HeartsAndStars
For real? Hit the heart down below. As a chick, I agree this is worth saving.
GayLad158
Ah I see, thanks! I’m a teenager who’s in his first relationship, so it’s nice to know if my partner is being abusive.
Zyrixion
Random advice: open and honest communication is the key to a successful relationship. Tell each other what you like and don't like. 1/
Zyrixion
2/ If one of you does something the other doesn't like/agree with/hurts them, tell them. Talk it out. Also remember that it is okay to
Zyrixion
3/ have reasonable boundaries, be they physical, mental, or ideological.
AncientSeraph
Don't let the internet ruin you though, this is a lot less common than Tumblr makes it out to be. If she does something you don't like, talk
AncientSeraph
to her. You'll have 90% of the above covered with a little self-respect and courage.
HeartsAndStars
Legit, as a chick who was super defensive in her first relationship, I'm glad people are telling dudes not to put up with my bullshit.
TheJokeWrecker
As a dude, I really appreciate your self awareness and honesty.
orangejoe74
Is leaving the best advice? They probably don't understand their bad behavior, why not give them a chance to reform?
orangejoe74
Anyways they'll simply find a new guy to pull this crap on
ElyaEquestus
Because it is not the job of the abused (or anyone else for that matter) to change their abuser. I have been in some tense relationships 1/
ElyaEquestus
2/ and the turning point in each and every single one of them was when either of us stopped listening. This can start in a simple way
ElyaEquestus
11/ to be very, very assertive in what I would and wouldnt tolerate. And receive blame with every word that I spoke. And tell me.
ElyaEquestus
7/ and on the other hand I knew I could try, I knew what other steps I could take to maybe make it better. And then I was like.
ElyaEquestus
5/ my dudes and dudettes, is the precursor for toxic relationships. I stopped listening to his resentments towards me and he never bothered
ElyaEquestus
10/ In this very specific scenario I had no reason to believe that he would respect, let alone understand my boundaries. Meaning I would
ElyaEquestus
9/ They could have been.
ElyaEquestus
4/ It was followed up by comments such as 'Neither of us want this situation and I hope that you will do what is right for us'. This my
ElyaEquestus
3/ such as 'well but I expect you to deal with your anger' when I mentioned that the situation was being difficult and made me upset.
ElyaEquestus
8/ It is not my job to convince him to treat me better. Either he does or he doesnt. If the person wanted to be better, then trust me.
ElyaEquestus
12/ Is there any relationship out there that is worth this much effort? I dont think so. I really dont.
EveryGuyonImgur
On the 1 hand, I agree. On the other, seems like its perpetuating the idea that men r victimized just as much as women... which isn’t true.
astrangehop
Does that make it not important?
LiquorishSunfish
Women are more commonly violently victimised. We don't have statistics on unreported violence for that very reason - it's unreported.
justarandomfandom
Over 40% of cases are men. Not equal, no, but very close and NEEDS to be addressed. And think back to all the stuff in the post and think
justarandomfandom
0n how many girls you know that do this. Abuse isn't only physical.
EveryGuyonImgur
I meant that sometimes, it seems like pointing out these facts are part of a broader effort to discredit feminism. I agree with the facts...
EveryGuyonImgur
But not with the toxic misogyny of the MRA
justarandomfandom
Honestly? If your first thought when seeing stuff like this is 'this is an attack on ME' you may have some level of misandry. Men are
EveryGuyonImgur
As previously stated, this was not my first thought. It was A thought amongst others.
justarandomfandom
Suffering just as much as we are, just in different ways for the most part. And remember I'm talking about the average. Not CEOs of massive
Malakree
Studies have shown that girls/women are more likely to be abusive than men. Lesbian relationships are by far the most violent.
Paradox1111
Yup.. thank god we learn in A.I. that most "female"jobs are fungible and 80% can be replaced with software/devices
justarandomfandom
Show me the facts, bc every study I've ever seen shows it at around a 40/60 to 50/50 split. And abuse in the lgbt circle in general is an
justarandomfandom
Inflated high due to the small pool and likelihood for multiple partners in a small area, meaning one abuser abuses more people.
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Source? I'm sure there's a slight percentile difference but I'd like to see the material in question.
Malakree
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1854883/
Malakree
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01506/full The Lesbian one
Malakree
61.1% of bisexual women, 43.8% of lesbian women, 37.3% of bisexual men, and 26.0% gay men...while 35.0% heterosexual women, 29.0% of men
Malakree
Lesbians and Bisexual women srsly beat the snot out of each other. Also notice that the lowest out of any group to experience DV are gay men
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Not to start a flamewar but maybe it has to do with their slight effeminate nature? Either that or that or two men in a relationship are ->
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
-> less likely to fight because they both know they could get a sound whooping, whereas a man vs. a woman might feel more "secure" ?
Shellibobelli
I had a really uncomfortable conversation with my friend who is a 46 year old married woman. I explained how I saw her mistreating her //
Bluegrasslass
Then he is NOT your friend!
Moohasha
Good on you for confronting her about it. If she listened, you were probably very level headed about it too.
Bluegrasslass
Good for you!
kraeftig
I tried to have that conversation with a friend and his fiance and he accused me of awful shit I never did and now won't talk to me
kraeftig
I guess what my point about this was a side effect can be the abused feel like they need to protect their abuser
Tsugumi2me
I feel ya. Lost my best friend to a person that kept telling him no one else wouldn't love him, etc. After I spoke up, she flipped it on me.
kraeftig
I'm not unfamiliar with this. A friend I've known for a long time had an ex wife, and an exgf, both insist he stop talking to me. I'm --
kraeftig
(2) still his friend and they are exes. It took a decade but eventually he thanked me for simply waiting and being his friend afterwards.
Shellibobelli
husband. At first she was defensive but after a while she really listened. She's really trying to do better and I'm so proud of her.
chickensareawesome
This is wonderful!! Good on you for saving your friend from dangerous habits, and good on your friend for having enough humility to change.
ShadusMacAoidh
Tell her to seek counseling. If she doesn't notice these behaviors in herself, she probably doesn't understand where these they stem from.
Shellibobelli
Great advice! She and I talked about her parents, and patterns that she's repeating. I'm a counselor so I wanted to dig deeper.
Cthulhunow
What did you say ? Asking for a friend who's wife treats him bad and with anger
Shellibobelli
I told her that I wanted to discuss something uncomfortable. I told her that I knew she loves her husband, and I gave her examples of //
Shellibobelli
loving behavior I had witnessed. Then I told her that I had also seen some concerning, unloving behavior and I told her that I cared about /
Shellibobelli
her and wanted to know if there was anything she wanted to talk about. She asked about the unloving examples and I shared them with her. /
myfi
I know when I was a teenager I was full of hormones and kind of out of control. I didn't really understand this was bad until someone else
myfi
just told me. I'd seen kids bully other kids and adults never did anything; kid logic said it was normal behavior.
myfi
I've never done most of this, but I did have the whole 'if you don't spend enough time w/me you don't love me'. Ah, daddy issues.
TychoTheMad
Hooray! Character development!
pip1
Your friend is trying not to be an abusive dick? That's nice, but hardly something to be proud of
SarcasticComment
Why would you belittle someone working to change for the better?
melindajo123
Abusive behavior is often learned as well. The abuser may not even realize why they are doing these things.
SmergBlaerghl
Working to make a positive change is always commendable.
Teleomniscope
If you allow another person to raise your awareness and then act differently as a result, that is admirable. Belittling that encourages 1/2
Teleomniscope
People not to change. The best thing we can do in regards to a 'bad person' is maximising their opportunities to be better.
K3lladoor
Yes it is. Exercising your freedom to choose to be a better person is always something to be proud of.
chickensareawesome
ALWAYS.
pip1
It's good to become better, yes. But if that becoming better equals NOT being an abuser you've only achieved bare minimum decency.
Teleomniscope
And that 'bare minimum decency' can be a great ammount of emotional, empathetic and rational distance for someone to travel. Not everyone1/2
raigne
Normal is difficult for a lot of people. Whether it's learned, a chemical imbalance, or a disability, bettering oneself is worthy of praise.
ingoz
Why is there so much of this shit on Imgur? A woman is murdered every week in Australia because of family abuse. And yet I see more
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
Because most of Imgur is American, where the culture, especially for young men, can be very different than other countries?
littlepodge
Imgur is flooded with incels. I posted about Hannah Baxter & her kids murder & creeps actually downvoted it.
vash77
Creeps will literally downvote anything on here
katerinaadriah
Irrelevant. One action on the left does not invalidate another on the right. You can talk and be concerned with both, and rightly so.
TehBox0rz
You can make your own post about abuse against women. Stop highjacking this one.
BasiliskArt
I think you misunderstand, nobody here is denying the severity of male-on-female abuse, they’re only bringing attention to men being abused
Gosuamakenatek
Yeah but they bring soooooo much more attention to anything where men are the victims of women. It's suspicious, is what he's saying.
justarandomfandom
Probs because there are more places than I can count that have support for women, but not much for men.
PirateRubberDuck
This is the reaction to the opposite being true for so long. Now there is a lot more support available for women than men.
fennecbutt
Because there is no social support for such a thing. Women's shelters will not take men, even young boys who have been abused cannot go to
fennecbutt
The shelter with their mothers. There are all sorts of reasons people pipe up about this stuff that you don't understand.
ingoz
Of this incel shit than I do posts giving a shit about the death rate of women by men.
Someshithead241
Because male on female violence is already getting all the attention possible, and more. It's all you ever hear about. But this, this is
Someshithead241
Barely addressed in public. Internet is the only place for it and every day there is a new person just joining that needs to see it. Female
Someshithead241
On male, or even female on female, abuse is extremely downplayed and ignored by society and those who try bring attention to it are harassed
Someshithead241
And berated by people like you. Such as that guy who opened up a male victim abuse centre, since there is next to none and thousands
NowhereMan313
Teaching young women how to not be abusive partners is incel shit?
BorkLocutus
To feminazis it is. And you're arguing with a feminazi, they are no better than Trump supporters.
ingoz
That’s exactly like saying All Lives Matter. Things aren’t equal.
CatEyebrows
1800 women were killed by their domestic male partners in the US in 2018.
PirateRubberDuck
Without the statistic for men this doesn't give much context.
CatEyebrows
It’s hard to find statistics on women killing men, but it’s mostly men that kill men. More men are murdered every year than women.
NowhereMan313
And? One bad thing does not make another bad thing not bad.
CatEyebrows
No, it doesn’t.
Someshithead241
Yo, that's bad.