See, when people come up with conspiracy theories, are they theorising what *is* or what *could* be?

Jul 7, 2026 5:23 AM

jpallan

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1512

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43

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9

"If everybody goes outside and stomps at the same time, we can flatten this fucker out."

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Finally someone that gets it , as part of the "Stomp Frogs to Death and run them through an old timey meat grinder and then cook them at 350degrees with sugar coating" we also get a lot of people thinking we advocate for eating frogs. Our policy think tank (Itchy Jim) is fully aware we love frogs but concluded it's easier to kick water uphill forever instead of changing our name just a teensy eensy bit and getting new mailing labels.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For my normal day to day decisions, I consider the earth to be flat.

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

3 weeks ago (deleted Jul 7, 2026 12:04 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Says the guy who totally missed the joke.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The plot thickens...

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A big problem that a lot of people have is that when they get an idea, they go out looking for things to prove the idea right.

Unfortunately, this is backwards.

The best way to prove that an idea is correct is to try to prove it wrong and fail repeatedly. You never accept a hypothesis; you fail to reject it.

What these conspiracy theorists are doing is cherry-picking facts that kind of fit their idea if you tilt your head and squint really hard, and ignoring everything that doesn't fit.

3 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Be wary of the things you want to believe.

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I didn't think it was possible for them to be even stupider than I thought...

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

You're lacking in either reading skills or humour.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I propose u sing a giant noodle flattener

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"So, Fire up the Earth Flattener."

3 weeks ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

3 weeks ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I just want them to tell me how thick the flat earth is

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

From what I understood, it was people with a joke, acting it out like LARPers. But then other people came by who didn't really get it. Like if someone wondered into a Renaissance Faire and thought they really had gone back in time.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wait, wait, you mean all that wasn't real?

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

flatten the earth?

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Call the Vogons. They've probably got something for that.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They are advocating *for* a flat earth, not saying that it is currently flat but that we should flatten it like a republican dick in hell.

3 weeks ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 3

The scare quotes around "currently" imply that you have other conspiracy theories at work, and yes, you are a crank.

3 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

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[deleted]

3 weeks ago (deleted Jul 7, 2026 12:16 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

If you read carefully, you may notice this is an ADVOCACY group, as in, they want to MAKE the earth flat, that that they think it currently is.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You kind of missed the joke.

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So, how do we get to actual flat earth? Is there a giant space hydraulic press for it?

3 weeks ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

maybe he's talking about in the very beginning, when earth was just a swirling mass of asteroids

3 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Ever watch a pizza chef toss a crust in the air & spin it?

OK OK just kidding, jeez! :p

3 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Then we would become the red hot nickel ball.

3 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well damn, that's still not flat. I think they were aiming for a red hot nickel disk.

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1