I Don't Even Know If These Are Legal. I'll Leave Them Here Anyway. Warning ⚠ - For Entertainment Purposes Only. Not To Be Tested.

Aug 23, 2016 11:08 PM

FinanceIsFun

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413718

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26715

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3453

Many of these are just plain fuckin' retarded.

10 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 4

In today's "How to be a Cunt"

10 years ago | Likes 846 Dislikes 3

OP did us a service, now we can be on the lookout for these asshats.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Couldn't have said it better myself.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

To whoever made these originally:

10 years ago | Likes 274 Dislikes 1

the world chico

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

...that's just stealing though

10 years ago | Likes 222 Dislikes 0

From the public at that.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

LIFE HACK, STEAL THINGS

10 years ago | Likes 125 Dislikes 0

When you could just, I don't know, GO TO AN ACTUAL LIBRARY

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

I got excited thinking that it was gonna be some trick for Civilization V.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Aren't.. most of these?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Don't worry, it's just a prank!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nooo, it's a way to build your library for free.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

no, fuck you. don't drive drunk.

10 years ago | Likes 129 Dislikes 2

Better idea! Oder a pizza at the bar, and pay the driver to take you home

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yes. Bitting your tongue when trying not to jizz is illegal where I live.

10 years ago | Likes 1220 Dislikes 8

*biting

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Only in Utah.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

sounds dangerous. bite her instead lol

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I fell and bit my tongue hard fifteen years ago. Now Everytime I fuck the cops try to arrest me. Goddamned registry.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Statue 34 article 7: No persons engaging in personal erotic pleasure may prolong the act by self-induced oral injury. Yup pretty clear there

10 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

Statute?

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

That Rule 34 will get you every time! :D

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I might be an idiot walnut, but as I don't have a penis, I'm curious... Does it actually work???

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Haven't tried that, but ouch would it be painful. I mean when you're close to orgasm you'd have to bite pretty hard to stop

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

True...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

what the hell happened to your penis?!

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Actually yes it can work wonders. Makes your breathing sound funky though.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Can confirm. SWAT team swarmed the bedroom right when I bit my tongue. Imguring from Prison now.

10 years ago | Likes 259 Dislikes 1

Give us the address. We will send postcards.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes but did you jizz?

10 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 0

Jesus *Christ*, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Asking the real questions.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

The hero we need

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Rumors say he's still prolonging it until his court date. Fuck you, judge...

10 years ago | Likes 90 Dislikes 0

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Prolong it further for a year or two or indefinitely, by asking for a bilingual trial.

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 1

So many of these are wrong- I will just say I've been pulled over as a pizza driver and Amazon just had me ship 300 lbs of furniture back

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Not to excuse these shitty lifehacks or anything, but I'm betting the dollar per pound on that furniture was higher than canned food.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Saw the same one twice ... Did my wife post this?

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

this does not have ebough points

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Don't drug your neighbors dog, Jesus Christ

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Fuck off.

10 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 14

Get free money by robbing a bank at gunpoint

10 years ago | Likes 7563 Dislikes 8

Life Hack: Get arrested. No more rent or utility bills. Make sangria in the tur'let. Course it's shank or be shanked...

10 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 0

Shanks for the advice

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Walk up to a teller with a note that threatens and a money request, they are trained to comply and let the police/insurance handle the rest.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

So thats why banks hate him...how unnerving

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Goddamit... Jizz on the sheets and blood in my mouth. FU @op

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Banks hate him, find out how he made 10,000 fast!

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Banks hate him! Earn $$$ Fast with this easy trick!

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Get free money by robbing the person who just robbed a bank.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No, free money would be to found a bank

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

GUYS, THE THERMAL DRILL! GET IT!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Police hate him.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's basically the jist of this list

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They'll give you the money even if you don't have a gun. You just added 5 years to your 15 to 25 year sentence by bringing a weapon.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I mean, they're insured, why should they give a fuck? 1/?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a guy on the other end of the line says,

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

we've got this guy's little girl, if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her. 3/3

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Genius!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wanna get back at someone? Shank them with a normal old kitchen knife!

10 years ago | Likes 245 Dislikes 0

Use a butter knife instead. When you get busted you go all "nah, I was just buttering... buttering justice!".

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

A simple kitchen knife you say? You mean I splurged on this tactical knife for nothing? I need to get better at murdering.

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

I don't want something as ridiculous as that. I need something as ridiculous as that.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Cure boredom by destroying everything you love. Or you could try murder... LIFEHACK!!!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Get a mask and a toy gun at the dollar store and you are all set! Ca-ching

10 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 0

And then rob the dollar store?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Instructions unclear. I am in jail.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Lol a lot of these are along this logic teaon

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was about to go on a company dinner... but I need to rebalance my tires so I think I'll go for the bank robbery

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's my money, and I need it now!!

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Thank you for this beautiful comment

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

877-cash now!

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Whomever trolled JG Wentworth into thinking that was a good ad must be praised and/or shot, your call.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You have to admit though; the phone number does get stuck in your head.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

he is a genius and everyone knows the song

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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10 years ago (deleted Dec 18, 2017 5:05 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

That's called a job!

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Fuck yeah, sounds good. . .

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If you work for a bank as a Teller then you are the one being robbed

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where is this from?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Key & Peele

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sauce me up baby

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2016 5:09 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

GENIUS, BUT THATS CALLED JOB YOU IDIOT

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 37

Ya but you walk out with at least $1.5m and no chance of any issues with the cops.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Bruh that's the joke

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 4

GENIUS, BUT THATS CALLED SARCASM YOU NOT SARCASM-KNOWING ASS IDIOT

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 44

Lol enjoy those negative 33 and counting. Try not being an asshat the next time someone simply tries to help out

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wow

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Motherfucker! That's called a job!

10 years ago | Likes 717 Dislikes 5

In and out

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly the bank job

10 years ago | Likes 127 Dislikes 0

K & P

10 years ago | Likes 85 Dislikes 1

Potassium and phosphorous?

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Key and Peele.. a popular, urban tv show where two hilarious mofos perform skits for the viewers pleasure.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 4

Naw nigga that's a wicked-hack

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

NOOICE

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But in the end your working to make your employers rich and getting robbed yourself.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

Italian Job

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Blow job

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

How to be a sociopath 101.

10 years ago | Likes 4564 Dislikes 23

The one about claiming your pet i s for emotional support is good though!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

Yeah. I've always thought it was such bullshit that so many places don't allow pets.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Criminal. The word you're looking for is criminal.

10 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

SOME of these are JUST immoral and not illegal. Many are illegal, however.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Haha shit. I was gonna comment "how to be an asshole 101"

10 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 2

Would've been better tbh since sociopathy has been an outdated term for decades.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

According to this, it's just an informal term, but still applicable: https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sociopathy

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It was official in like the 60s but it was too similar a definition with psychopathy. People can still use it of course since there's no 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

major differences in sociopath and psychopath definitions, but it just irks me when people do because there's a lot of misinformation 2/3

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How to be a complete dick.

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 2

Seriously, not one positive comment... Yet this post is on do with 14k+ votes. The fuck is wrong with people.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

On fp*

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I knew there was a reason I favourited this and loved it!

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 9

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

These won't make you a sociopath, they just make you a better sociopath. Better, in this instance, means worse...

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 6

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 5

There's one on poisoning a dog! Has everyone missed that one? Fucking hell!

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

I don't know about poisoning... illegally medicating perhaps. Not that makes the act any less heinous really.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

How to get arrested 101

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Number 1 reason why I downloaded.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

Scrolled through. @op and all ops, number your shit.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

its like walking a very fine line

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

anything can be done well and badly.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Broken windshield is BS. Theres signs on all of them say "stay back 200 feet, not responsible for broken windshields"

10 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 4

srsly, isnt it cheaper for them to cover their cargo with canvas hood? it's much safer, prevents 120km/h bricks to the face

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

It's also insurance fraud. Which is a serious crime

10 years ago | Likes 92 Dislikes 5

It's technically not insurance fraud if you never get the insurance company involved.

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

"Well I saw some sign on the truck and drove up real close to see what it said.."

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

how big is that sign o_O i mean, im blind but 60 meters? :X

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I have a sign on my car that says "Stay back! Car randomly shoots out grenades" and I haven't gotten into trouble for blowing up people yet!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

also... if a stone or rock did then fall from the truck.. you'd get it in the face?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Homeless Gym, Jizz thing, Free textbooks, Visa GC on plane, Pet Hack and booze watermelon...NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!! I'm trying/doing again

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 22

The pet hack could kill someone's beloved dog depending on the dosing (or if the dog has medical problems or is on meds that interact badly)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think they meant the one about registering your pet if you're moving in somewhere where they don't allow them.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah my bad... but that one makes a mockery of therapy dogs for people like veterans with PTSD etc. so it's not harmless either

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't believe the gift card one. A. The card might have amount coded onto it. B. If they record your seat, look for a bill in the mail.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

Downside: I pay for my drinks NBD. Upside: I'm drunk and on a plane AND it could potentially cost a mere $5. I'll take my chances.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

You don't want to be drunk on a plane when it's landing. Source: me last month

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And a huge asshole...

10 years ago | Likes 938 Dislikes 7

But I repeat myself.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

Jokes on you. I already am.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Sociopaths tend to be huge assholes

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

he says right after installing his new Pizza sign.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are there cool and friendly sociopaths? Maybe... because they know they'll get what they want if they pretend to like you.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

sure there are, just because i dont care about any of you doesnt mean i dont believe in the bigger pie if we all work together

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But a true sociopath probably wouldn't give a shit about that person after they got what they wanted and likely wouldn't give back.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

only one that cant think. because heres the thing, i dont care about you. but if i also give back ins ome cases ill get more out of it

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey, some people just want to prolong jizzin

10 years ago | Likes 175 Dislikes 1

Then you're not an asshole but a dick.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or free college books. Shit is expensive

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And others want to steal your change, and feed your dog Xanax

10 years ago | Likes 100 Dislikes 0

Idk who would waste a Xanax on dogs

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

Who tf poisons a dog?!

10 years ago | Likes 365 Dislikes 9

Low dose xanax MIGHT be safe for dogs (and is sometimes prescribed by a vet), but this is still fucking monstrous.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

PSA: Drug a person's dog and they will probably slit your throat in broad daylight so that everyone knows not to fuck with your dog.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 3

If you're already ON Xanax, how could the neighbor's dog be annoying you?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Need to up the dose.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone with sociopathic tendencies, I agree. Do it to the owners and steal the dog for yourself. Dogs are awesome.

10 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 9

No. Don't drug anyone. Don't be a dick to people. Also sociopathy is an outdated term, you're just a psychopath.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 12

I like this one better.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

well if you give em human xanax sure, but there's xanax for dogs

10 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 13

It's the same Xanax. And don't do that.

10 years ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 2

I prefer Xanax for the fucktard people who have whiny noisy dogs, but that's just

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 61

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[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Aug 24, 2016 3:16 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

So they can sleep in peace while you stay up bitching about the dog???

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 3

*lots of Xanax?*

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Found the sociopath

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Found the asshole with noisy dogs

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Seriously this. If I ever find out my dog was drugged... It's hollow points for the ones responsible.

10 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 23

Doubt it

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 10

My old dog was poisoned. Went blind and then got hit by a car. Still, my neighbor's endlessly barking dogs make me want to kill something.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I love how negative the comments are, but the post has over 1000 points.

10 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 2

probably a mix of vote bots and people voting for lulz

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Over 23000 today.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 is a must try. Most of the votes are probably for that alone.

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

There's one or two that are good ideas. "I hate you OP, but I'll use this one later!"

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's as if there are millions of different people in the community! O:

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't care if you have a pizza sign. You shouldn't drive after leaving a bar and are drinking!!

10 years ago | Likes 151 Dislikes 1

This. This. A thousand times this.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I almost got in a physical altercation with someone because he said drunk driving accidents are the fault of others for being bad drivers

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Wow. How ignorant, I'm glad you didn't get into a fight though!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah that pizza sign ain't gonna bring back the innocent person you killed.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Better idea! Oder a pizza at the bar, and pay the driver to take you home

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The cigarette one is nicotine poisoning. You could get REALLY sick REALLY easily. And don't give Xanax to dogs, duh.

10 years ago | Likes 101 Dislikes 2

there is xanax for dogs! just get your dog a prescription and feed it to the neighbors dogs instead! no death and they'll have calm dogs

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Don't correct the cig one, if we're lucky dumb fucks who'd use those hacks will die before they can poison dogs

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

After all the others you still think the intention of the xanax is only to make them sleep?

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So what about the parents that force their kids to eat a pack of cigarettes to make sure they never want to smoke?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dogs can actually take Xanax but giving it to someone else's dog like that is really shitty

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The estimated lower limit of a lethal dose of nicotine has been reported as between 500 and 1000 mg

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

How many cigarettes is that?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think that figure is much lower than the LD50 I remember. Nicotine is more potent than that, a few mL of eliquid can make you sick

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If I remember correctly, a pack of Marlboros I bought in Europe said 1mg nicotine per cigarette. So that's somewhere between 3-5 cartons

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As a former pizza and sandwich delivery driver. The cops will in fact, still pull you over.

10 years ago | Likes 3649 Dislikes 2

In an old neighborhood I stayed in for a while, pizza delivery was usually late because they were pulled over. Still tipped 'em good, though

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can confirm. Dad got pulled over when he delivered pizzas.

10 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

thats generally only if you're driving erratically or have something legit wrong w/ your car (so just like normal drivers ya)

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

On the job I was only pulled over late at nights, and nothing wrong. They gave crap excuses, "your plates looked like they're expired" etc.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yup, got pulled over driving back to the store for a brake light out.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've had 2 or 3 times now on a delivery where I did something a cop should've pulled me over for but didn't. Course, I live in a small town

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Sandwich delivery? Now that's awesome. Wish I had that where I live!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I manage and drive for Jimmy Johns, and we are growing fast... That said dominos also has sandwiches.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

In the UK you need to have insurance that specifically covers you for deliveries. Costs more so some don't bother. Cops near me had a big (1

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Crackdown. Knew a guy got caught delivering a pizza in return for getting his own comped. Not even an employee, just knew the owner 2)

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not only does he have a no insurance conviction so +premiums for 5 years, the ins' co. cancelled the policy so jacked premiums for life

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They usually don't care what you're driving, they'll still pull you over. Source: got pulled over at work while driving a bus.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The judge will, in fact, screw you twelve days from Sunday.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ran a stop sign right in front of a cop delivering pizza in my mustang, no reaction. But it was snowing and turns out he placed the order

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Otherwise it would have been my ass, lol.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My hubby got pulled over delivering pizzas so yeah... that's bs

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I got waved through a checkpoint on my third and subsequent pass that night. The cop was like "You again? Sigh, drive on through."

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Strange I delivered for quite a while and they even let me go through check stops and never pulled me over, same for my coworkers

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Drove for national chain for a year, never stopped though should have. 15 over, headlight out, trooper backed off when saw topper.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a former driver, confirmed, the police actually fucked me with more often while I had the sign.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I really hope ppl wouldn't drive a car if they aren't sober :-(

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a delivery driver, I have been pulled but never ticketed. And generally I get away with a LOT more.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes but were you biting your tongue during the buildup? If not that's probably why you got pulled over

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You have to be doing something blatant to get pulled over with a delivery sign on your car. If you keep it reasonable this does in fact work

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep. I actually got pulled over for "making a larger than normal U-turn".

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When I delivered pizza in my teens, I got pulled over for 2mph over the speed limit. No love for pizza drivers in rural Georgia

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes. Yes, they will.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As another former pizza guy, especially if your car is loud and bright red and you drive like a douche. Or so I've heard.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a mail delivery driver, I just get waves from cops... But I also obey traffic laws.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Depends, I use to work for dominos, got away with a bunch of driving violations infront of police officers and they couldn't care less.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In my town we had 2 domino's drivers busted for DUIs in a week. 2 mugshot, both in their uniforms.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Seconded

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Obviously mixed results here, but as a pizza guy myself with a sign on my car, I've flown past cops doing 20+ over and they don't bother.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not the pizza place I worked at. The boss gave the cops free pizza in exchange for leaving the delivery guys alone. I delivered VERY fast

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got pulled for running the fuck out of a stop sign but he let me off when he saw the pizza (no car topper on).

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Was looking for this, got pulled over maybe a half dozen times in the last year as a driver, only two fines though.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Our local jokey club day I got pulled over 8 times delivering pizza!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And that half off pizza bit doesn't work for certain places. They would donate them where I used to work.

10 years ago | Likes 78 Dislikes 1

One time they asked if we wanted one for 5 bucks.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Donate them? My shop they last about five minutes because we eat them all.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The shop near me throws them in the trash, the employees aren't allowed to touch them. Way pay 50% when they are free in a dumpster?

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

What a waste

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not when you bring home 10 pizzas a day. My house looks like a Ninja Turtle lives here.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah i got a free one once when i was waiting for mine. It was covered in jalapenos and i didn't need two pizzas but it was free.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We'd just eat them.

10 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Yep yup. That was the staff dinner right there. No, we NEVER called in a fake order, ever...

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Worked for a mom and pop pizza shop. In the 6 months I was there we had people cancel maybe 4 times. We ate them each time.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I hardly ever write you guys tickets though.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Thanks, cause at 2am is speeding and yielding at stop signs the most of your concerns?

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Here in Germany, police doesn't mind if you speed a little at night. But if you don't stop at a stop sign you'll get your ass pulled over.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Germany as a nation loves speeding. The Autobahn is testament to this.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No, no, it's *authorized* speeding!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The secret is: We are looking for drugs and guns. Unless we are working overtime to write speeding tickets. Then, its luck of the draw.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Federal grant money backs a majority of OT traffic enforcement stuff.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a cop, I can confirm that you're right, though my standard for stopping a car is higher if they are obviously working.

10 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 2

Where are you a cop? And can I PM you for some sensitive topic question related to the job?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I work in a major city in Northern California. Sure, I'm happy to help.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

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10 years ago (deleted Aug 25, 2016 2:52 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

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10 years ago (deleted Aug 25, 2016 3:25 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Thanks, but the cops in my my town set up a safety check point near work and checked my ID everytime. Pretty annoying.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

That is annoying. Checkpoints are voluntary, though, since we can't stop people without reasonable suspicion.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Wait.. what? So what does someone do, just drive through the checkpoint without stopping?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No. They have to give you a way out. It's usually a turn-around, or an alternate route that doesn't take you through the checkpoint.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yea, I don't know how anyone could believe that one, it would make drug dealing pretty easy if all you needed was a friggin dominoes sign.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

lol drug dealing is already pretty easy. The sign doesn't grant you immunity from police, it gives you +2 CHA bonus when dealing with cops.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

But the cops get a +2 in INT.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You like being a cop? I recently got into software defined radio and have been tuning into my local trunked systems. Interesting stuff

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I like it a lot. It's tough sometimes, but it's very rewarding to be able to help people when they really need it.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The realtor for my house scares me. My realtor is very pretty but I'm more afraid of her fucking in my room when I leave for her "showings"

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Put a hidden camera and a livefeed.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

No livefeed. Its already possibly illegal, making it a livefeed would only make it worse.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Statistically some of the most promiscuous people" is the biggest load of horseshit I've heard since "many people are saying...".

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Hmm I like your perspective. Realistic is more up my alley than what if. (:

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some of these are pretty malicious.

10 years ago | Likes 3171 Dislikes 9

For everyone who's saying these are terrible, they are. You must not have read the title.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

*Most

10 years ago | Likes 579 Dislikes 1

All*

10 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

prolonging orgasm is malicious?

10 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

You will develop a canibalism fetish.

10 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

And you're depriving them of your sweet, sweet seed. Bastard.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Wow, that hadn't crossed my mind. Having affairs with realters and avoiding court seemed completely benign to me.

10 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 8

Lol ikr

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

And some are just straight up illegal

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Fairly certain most of these are illegal under various laws. Also, if someone messes with my dog I'll go John Wick on them.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

If they owe taxes... then they owe taxes.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Aren't there supposedly some checks and balances in the IRS system now, as this "hack" became an issue decades ago?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I really need to know if the first one works. Apparently a full 30 seconds isn't considered a good time anymore.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

delicious hotdogs.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You know those people who will sue anyone over anything possible for whatever they can get? These are for those people.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That emotional support dog thing is a scam

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Most of these are scams, I think that is the point.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The Gym one is really helpful though.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was a material handler for a year. Don't be a dick and put your broke windshield on some poor construction company. That's just wrong.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, the only one I would do is the craigslist bit with sending someone multiple low-ball offers before giving mine. 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

If they don't want to sell it cheap, they don't have to. It's their responsibility to know the item's value anyway. 2/2

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

That's sort of what the point of this post was tho..

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

So uh, are you a Realtor?

10 years ago | Likes 106 Dislikes 2

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

v

10 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 0

What is this from

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tim and Eric

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

GREAT JOB

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Who the fuck gives Xanax to a dog !?

10 years ago | Likes 294 Dislikes 3

Well my dog was actually prescribed xanax just yesterday. So unless you give them way too much they will be fine, just calm for a bit.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

People about to be dead.

10 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 4

John Wick them, girl!

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Veterinary staff here, Xanax is prescribed to pets with anxiety but you should never give something not Rx'd by the vet! Dose is different!

10 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

Yep. Really, people shouldn't give anything to dogs w/o approval though. My bull terrier is allergic to all kinds of things, including beef.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

^ This...all day long.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I will gladly go to jail for shooting somebody if I catch them trying to poison my dog. No remorse.

10 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 7

Veterinarians, actually. Common for dogs who get spooked by thunder and for separation anxiety. Dosage is less than for a human, though.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 4

They probably mean without prescription.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I don't know about Xanax, but when my siamese had a brief problem, the vet straight up handed me a human prescription-only antidepressant.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Kitty Prozac! Works like a charm

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My aunt

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

People who are about to kill a dog by overdosing it with Xanax.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

An asshole who doesn't value life, if someone did that to my pet and i found out, they'll find a something fun in their beds the next morn

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

like a bear trap!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would do that to my neighbor. It is the most annoying piece of shit and neighbor does literally nothing to stop it's constant barking.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also hamburger w a sensitive stomach can cause pancreatitis!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Anyone drugs my dogs is gonna be dead. Period. And it may or may not be a slow death, depending on the situation.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

Keep your shitty dog from barking every time I walk through my backyard then.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you're fuckin hard as nails

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

There's some things you just don't do. You don't mess with kids. And you don't mess with pets.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't have kids but I have pets. And you don't fuck with my babies.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Except the few that aren't even slightly unethical, like torrenting textbooks.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 7

Gladly do it for college text books cause it's a scam making students buy new books every year even though nothing new included n high price

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Well, you could get the European editions of US textbooks, which are half the US price, since EUR professors won't use too pricey books.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That explains why some of my books had NOT FOR USA printed on the backside.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It would be interesting to import EU versions of books to the US black market, and undercut the local suppliers.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And then there's advice on stealing actual books from a store. Wtf

10 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 2

seriously download them like everyone else

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

The ones that aren't are just stupid and won't work.

10 years ago | Likes 202 Dislikes 2

The edible margaritas one is fairly nice.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Maybe if you just love the taste of Tequila; give that one a try and tell me how it turns out.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Very tequila-ish. I liked it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The gym membership one isn't too bad. That's not to say that the others aren't ghastly/idiotic.

10 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 0

Yup gym membership one is very smart. Join planet fitness for $10/month and u got a place for shower and storage

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Don't most gyms not allow overnight locks? I know they cut bolts off at night at Goodlife.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

yup, but planet fitness is 24/7 gym so u r fine

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I feel like it would depend if it's a 24-hour gym or not

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

GOOD.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Yeah and if you actually read the article, that's not what the 'hack' was talking about.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

"Any animal can be an emotional support animal if a doctor is willing to sign off on it." Like what do you mean?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If someone gives my dog Xanax in ground beef, I will personally bake them a cake with an ungodly amount of laxative in it. Wait until (1)

10 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 7

Please keep your barking dog indoors, it would solve the neighbor's problem.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 16

Because barking can't be heard through walls. We all know that...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Factually for some dogs Xanax makes them more annoying bc now they're not self conscious about their barking

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

They are shitting their soul out. And punch them in the face as they leave. You don't fuck with someone's dog. (2)

10 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 6

As someone who works in a vet clinic, i would still want to punch them...

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

While someone shouldn't do that, the Xanax is not likely to actually kill the dog. It's often used for sedation in anxious dog s

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 5

Oh I know. I'd do they same if they gave any living thing close to me Xanax

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'd rather trust a certified veterinarian with dosage than an angry person who would make it a habit that would get the dog addicted.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Well obviously. Just saying your dog is more likely to from accidentally eating a piece of gum a/ xylitol than a disgruntled nbr and xanax

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Someone drugging my dog is still due for a kick to the junk.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The one about registering your pet as an emotional support animal really irritated me. Fuck people with allergies, right?

10 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 21

Agree cuz i had to tear out all the carpet when i got my condo due to allergies. Couldn't b here for more than 30 mins even with meds.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Carpets are gross no matter what

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I could fuck someone with an allergy

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Most landlords don't forbid pets based on allergies but on the fact that they are animals and may tear the place apart

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

As someone who has an ESA im sorry, but me not killing myself > your discomfort.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

If it's legitimate that's fine. Also, even if you really need it, you can still be considerate of others and look somewhere they allow it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, fuck those people. Alternatively live alone.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

Not to mention that these people are likely going to ruin it for others that really need them.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's actually illegal (in Canada at least) to evict someone for having a pet. Even if it's in the rental agreement.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

AIUI landlords can't ban pets, but they can insist the tenant pay fr hypoallergenic cleaning when they leave (along with any repairs needed)

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So I can have my mastiff live in my studio apartment with no consequences?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 12

Other than having to take it out several times a day?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Why would you punish yourself and a dog just to make a point?

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

As long as you move in without the pet and then bring the pet(s) to live with you after a few weeks than you should be good. :)

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's terrible. Not going to be a landlord up in canada.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Genuinely curious what's the reasoning? Like is it a common NBD thing for people to have pets anyway or is it still kinda douchy? (1/2)

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So... every non-retarded landlord sets a first-time rental agreement for six months or so, and won't renew if you're a cunt like that?

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

In Canada (Ontario) there is no renewal after 12 months it becomes month to month. Evicting a tenant is very hard even if they don't pay

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same in Quebec

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Better than driving home from the bar with a pizza sign on your car, is not being an ass and driving home from the bar and endanger others

10 years ago | Likes 634 Dislikes 12

Yeah, don't be a fucking drunk driver

10 years ago | Likes 111 Dislikes 3

Thank you for saying this. Way too many people think it's okay to drive while drunk or texting or other stupid as fuck stuff.

10 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 5

Watched a guy today drive by me with his face almost into the passenger seat.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

*Create an uber account and use a promo code if you havent already. You get a free first ride

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

This. What the fuck.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Better idea! Oder a pizza at the bar, and pay the driver to take you home

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And cops will stop the pizza guy for driving drunk

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Still safer than walking home, at least

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 39

If you put your self on a position where you have no plans to get home safely... you are stupid

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

no it's fucking not

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

You're bad and you should feel bad.

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

No it isn't.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

You might want to actually read that, it clearly says more drunk drivers died in 2009 than drunk walkers. (1/2)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And drunk walkers aren't as big a risk to others as drunk drivers. So no, it isn't safer. (2/2)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've seen a lot of dumb comments in my time, but this one takes the cake.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

people who drive drunk deserves the darwin award

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 3

Problem is, they kill people who might be great for the gene pool. It's like the opposite of the Darwin award.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

The problem is, the people they run over don't.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Yeah, lots of these aren't legal

10 years ago | Likes 266 Dislikes 6

Just straight up theft in some of these, others are just pathetic and low.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What!? Taking books out of the bookstore without paying is illegal?

10 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 1

yeah that's not even a "hack", that's just plain stealing.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

No way. I thought it was fine to drive drunk and put others lives at risk as long as I was in a pizza delivery car. My bad guys!

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 2

You don't say.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

or ethical

10 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 1

Or moral

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's why you only do these on Ethics Optional Tuesday.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Imgur isn't exactly filled to the brim with good apples, either. This is in FP, after all.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

With 20,000 upvotes as well... wtf

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do NOT Xanax your neighbor's dogs. PLEASE.

10 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Nov 27, 2021 1:43 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

marijane meatballs.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well I used a fright train horn. Walk to the end of tje drive way. Would it for a good 5 minutes. Week later they stopped barking.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Seems like that would cause you issues with whatever local noise ordinances you have.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Not in the country.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The IRS one is just evil, and what happens when people get towed for parking on private property?

10 years ago | Likes 148 Dislikes 4

who gives a shit you have money

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 15

People with a sense of morality

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

Morality is a weak trait in a person. You wont be succesful if youre controlled by others sense of right and wrong.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 4

You won't be successful if you alienate everyone you know by being a cunt, either.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im quite sociable in person. There's just no point in pretending on here is there?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Found the sociopath.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

mate that's just name calling

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Absolutely nothing, they just have to pay to get their car out of the lot. That's just evil.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Don't the IRS tell the people being investigated who snitched them? That could get you killed out of revenge. It's never good to mess around

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 6

No, they don't, for exactly that reason.

10 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

They included one that could kill dogs, do you think op cares about someone else getting towed?

10 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 3

Also drunk driving... like how fucking selfish could you be?

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

You make a good point, all of these are awful but some are significantly worse than others

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

The IRS one does require them to be preforming tax fraud to get a benefit

10 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

Which is a pretty high probability - considering that unless you make 6 figures you probably won't be a target of an audit.

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I wonder of it would work on Trump

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

He has money so therefore the laws do not apply to him. Downvote me all you want - but Hillary proves laws are not for rich people.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Her $150 million income from her non-profit organization proves you right.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Have you been paying attention? Everyone commits crimes all the time without knowing because there are so many complex laws. Pretty much

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 2

a guarantee that you are accidentally doing something wrong with your taxes. And the IRS is never wrong, even when they are.

10 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

This is why I have a job

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

(also, the IRS is sometimes wrong).

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey I got audited once and didn't know until I received a check from the IRS for $200. So this could totally backfire on them

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

How to be a creep bum slacker with a weak moral compass...except the homeless gym one, that's solid advice.

10 years ago | Likes 255 Dislikes 4

Except they cut the unclaimed locks off lockers each and every night and empty the clothes into a lost and found bin.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Not at my gym.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I worked the night shift at a 24hr gym. We said that we would cut off locks at night, but nobody really has time for that shit.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Makes sense. That rule probably isn't worth enforcing unless people complain about there not being any unoccupied lockers left.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The asking to buy abandoned pizzas one is fine, though there's no rule they have to discount it for you or even sell it at all.

10 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

Whilst near a pizza place, walk in and order a pizza to be delivered to your home. Chances are the driver will take you.. For a tip.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Calling them is a crap shoot and honestly I'd think the pizza place would stop taking your calls if you keep calling asking for cheap pizza

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I've seen similar done at Dairy Queen with their mess-ups, watched someone walk out with like 5 dipped cones plus other stuff.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Wow, I'm a creep bum slacker because I bite my tongue so I don't nut right away?

10 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 6

Wow....woahh

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#1 ?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#69. Get it? 69.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

As a lawyer, most of these are illegal.

10 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

As a noshitologist I can confirm.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well it's a good thing I'm not a lawyer

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

you deserve more upvotes! I laughed IRL

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You mean I shouldn't steal books?

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

The bilingual trial one doesn't work in California and other states with a high Hispanic population. They have translators on standby.

10 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 3

I live in Texas..I could hear Hispanic laughter as I read that one...maybe if i asked for a french one? I think I can BS that enough.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There are other languages you could try. But yeah, probably just generally better in places with less diversity.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

what if you want it in English and swedish

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Du är ändå körd.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

säker? låt säga att är åtalad för fortkörning i en liten håla i alaska och ber om svensk tolk.. du tror inte dom lägger ner då?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bingo, you can't even use the "no hablo ingles" excuse to get out of jury duty.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It could be interpreted by the judge as a delaying tactic, for which you will get no sympathy from the court.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Wouldn't it results in fines for wasting the court's time?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not asking so I can use it, but curious if other languages are harder (and therefore the 'intended' way to use the hack)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The hearings I attended for the bankruptcy court in CA could just call a number. Watched them get some Indian dialect in 3minutes

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Try Welsh.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

or icelandic

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also...if you don't speak a second language what if they call your bluff?

10 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Or if you speak English just fine.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was thinking for a speeding ticket..cop would just say "they spoke english just fine when i gave em the ticket"

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

say the smartest words you know in pig latin, until it's no longer bluffing

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Nice batch of unethical lifehacks. You're a Dick if you do most of these. Cheat the system, not the players.

10 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 8

The sex and the uni book ones definitely. Possibly Amazon if you don't like how they put their HQ in low tax areas. The selling ones are

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Probably already done on a much larger scale by actual companies.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You've got to like the pizza place one though.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 4

i can see how d-bags makes false orders and exploit that.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

stale old pizza? nah

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I don't know what kind of pizzas you get if they go stale in less than 6 hours.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Why can't airlines do real time processing? If I can use wifi on a plane surely the payment machines can too.

10 years ago | Likes 90 Dislikes 0

I read that two guys were caught doing that. They spent the days travelling on planes just to buy stuff with credit card and then sell it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

You can absolutely process payments over wifi have you people never seen a square pay device?

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 9

Yeah but they don't use square, they have actual card readers like your local Walgreens or quiktrip

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also I dont know why they wouldnt just charge you after the fact considering you bought the ticket and they prob have ur info

10 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 0

Southwest doesn't assign seat numbers, so they wouldn't know who you are

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

You're right about that but it doesn't matter cause they absolutely can do real time charging. Source: I drink on planes cause I get nervous

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Yeah they don't process credit card transactions over wifi

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 2

Plus wifi only works in US airspace, not any other country's. Didn't work in Mexican airspace but was okay over Texas.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just a tip: they know your name / adress when flying with them. The bill will come later.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Solution: Apply for a name change and change your residence immediately after landing. Live a new life everytime you fly!

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Maybe more easy solution: buy a aisle seat, then switch with the tall guy in a middle seat.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Maybe you won't be charged for the drinks, but there is still a price

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

they technically can, but it's rather insecure, therefore most likely illegal.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I guess the charge is rejected when they go to process it? Then you toss the card and get a new one..hmm. Rinse..repeat

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Another comment explains that payment over wifi isn't PCI compliant

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yes but wifi isn't how they connect to the ground, and the in-seat card readers are hardwired.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

ty I didn't see.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

We process cards via our wifi-enabled CC terminal all the time. Not sure of the problem here.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm sure they could but I bet it's not secure, so maybe they can't by law to protect your card info? Just a hunch.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's secure. The Firesheep Firefox add-on kinda forced the industry to adopt encryption everywhere, higher levels where necessary

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

they wouldnt want a dude with a laptop inside the plane sniffing up all the cc numbers beeing sent unsecure

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's a 2048 bit RSA encrypted transmission. Have fun doing a man in the middle attack on that

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nah it can be just as secure as anything else.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You can't process credit cards over wifi. My husband keeps a $1 Visa card he uses all the time when he travels for work. Free tv and meals

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 17

of course you can process credit cards over wifi. ANY connection to the internet can be used.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 5

Wifi isn't how they connect to the ground. Maybe they could make it work and simply haven't. Airborne connectivity is still kinda new.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Does this actually work? Heading to the store to buy one now if so

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 4

considering his company is likely reimbursing him, why? also in a restaurant be sure to tip your server cash :-(

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

As a non-server, why? I tip generosity but usually on my card. Am I giving a portion of that to Visa???

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Most servers have to kick back to the kitchen/hosts/bar staff based on their sales. Debit and credit tips are tracked, cash tips aren't 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

so I get to keep 100% of a cash tip while I only get to keep 70-80% of a debit/credit tip.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sometimes card tips don't go straight to the server, depends on the restaurant though.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That dog xanax one made me skip all of them after to come tell you what a peice of shit you are for including that.

10 years ago | Likes 270 Dislikes 22

a bunch of these are obvious jokes if you can't tell

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Calm the fuck down, how is @Op an asshole for that? He's just trying to milk some points.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 13

Exactly. That's horrible.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Yeah. Fuck you, OP.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 5

But hey.. The homeless gym membership is pretty smart at least

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

but...did you get back to it ??

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Neighbor's dog barking too much? Kill it

10 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 3

Pretty much.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Neighbour starts asking questions about their dead dog? Send them a batch of cyanide cookies to express sympathy! No more questions! : D

10 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Dogs can take xanax though

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 8

Yes, if they are prescribed by a vet & if it doesn't mess with other medications. But a neighbor wouldn't know how safe it is for the dog

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Humans can also take chloroform but it's still illegal to go around drugging people.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

This needs way more upvotes.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

These fuck over literally everyone but yourself... Plus Xanax could be lethal or harmful to dogs if not prescribed... So fuck off you twat

10 years ago | Likes 671 Dislikes 40

[deleted]

[deleted]

10 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2016 4:24 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I don't know... Do dead men tell tales?

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Yes?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

Some dogs have dietary restrictions as well, or maybe they already have meds that Xanax reacts badly with. Don't fuck with people's pets

10 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

If the dog has to go under anaesthesia the vets need to know when it last ate as well, surgery means they can't eat past a certain time

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

I would be so pissed if someone did that to my dog

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I'd beat the fuck out of someone if they drugged my dog. That one is horrible.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Also you can by high powered ultrasonic piezo buzzers. Get a remote controlled 12v relay. Hide the buzzer in a flood light. Retrain the dog

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

May e they are suggesting you eat a lot of red meat and take Xanax to calm yourself down about your neighbors dog.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Not to mention human drugs often have adverse (and sometimes complete opposite) effects on other animals.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Instead just blow a dog whistle at I opportune times.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

At the risk of losing out on my fake internet points... Isn't that the point?

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 6

I thought so too, but in retrospect I think OP meant for the xanax to just chill the dog out.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think the lethality was kind of the point of that

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't be such a stick in the mud! A little dog killing never hurt anybody!

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 16

Upvoting for perfection of sarcasm.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks buddy. Seems like some people don't like sarcasm when it comes to their dogs. Oh well.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Warning ⚠ - For Entertainment Purposes Only. Not To Be Tested."

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Seriously: had a dog ever been prescribed this??

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All the time! Most of the time its for anxiety or abandonment issues.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not #1 and #4

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

As someone that had their childhood dog poisoned by ass hole neighbors this one pissed me off.

10 years ago | Likes 72 Dislikes 6

Happened to me too :/ He was 2 and I was 7.. German Shepherd I still miss him.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is my number one fear I can't believe that happened to you

10 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

I'm so sorry you lost your pupper. I hope your cunt of a neighbor knows how awful a human being he is.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I mean, did the drunk driving tips and the ways to steal shit not tip you off that these are morally questionable hacks?

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

We all know animals are better than people.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

depends on which animal

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 4

My mother lost her beloved childhood dog due to neighbors pouring antifreeze out for them to lick :/

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Plus who says I want to share my Xanax with the neighbours dog?

10 years ago | Likes 189 Dislikes 2

Damn straight +1

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exactly, shits not really expensive, but still, its the principle.

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

It can be if you're buying it street price where I live. Like over $10 for a 2mg bar. :(

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

That sucks if you don't have a prescription, which is only $1/tab. I know people are paying like $5 per 2mg bar around here. (South Florida)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's super difficult to get a prescription where I am unfortunately (Western Australia)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why don't you run into a tall object and combust

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Me? Cause i dont know how? Is it like harry potter but with flames?

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Idk, I just wanted to comment on your name, which is beautiful

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Dead dogs don't bark so... That's kind of a win-win situation.

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 45

People on here operate on feelings alone and its retarded. If this was a rooster I dont think people will care, but a dog is sacred.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 6

You don't deserve the joy dogs bring to life.

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

^^Your user name. Do that.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Are you a psychopath, honey?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Possibly. I haven't been diagnosed recently. And the politically correct term is antisocial personality disorder.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This one made me sick to my stomach. It's not the dogs fault if they bark, it's the owners fault that they didn't train their dog properly!

10 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 7

It's just a lot harder to poison the owner than the dog, especially without getting caught.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well the point of the tip is to get back at the owner by killing their dog

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 5

My dogs small and yappy but also like 13 years old and going deaf. She barks at nothing and when we yell at her to stop, she can't hear 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

us yelling at her anymore so she just keeps on barking till we pick her ass up and take her inside. She used to be much more behaved 2/3

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

but still she's my little ball of angel fluff and if anyone hurt her then I would fuck them up idgaf if I'm a feeble young woman 3/3

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Aww, that makes sense. At least you bring her inside and don't leave her out all night barking like some people do!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Can you train her to respond to a sign telling her to quiet down? Deaf owners or people with deaf dogs use sign

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1