svardfiska
23089
541
9
Who knew snapping turtles could launch their heads like missles?
Aug 28, 2026 10:47 PM
svardfiska
23089
541
9
Who knew snapping turtles could launch their heads like missles?
mcbotulism
"Baby, I'm a grower, not a shower..."
amglasgow
I don't think that's a snapping turtle.
swanglemydangle
This is the kind of turtle head you get with Taylor Farms lettuce
walnutbreath
I thought this was common knowledge that was taught to children at a fairly young age.
futhor
I could beat it in a fight
yellowwwwducky
I know I can out run it
bingotown
Lots of folks calling that a snapping turtle. I am quite sure it is not. Regular snappers are a lot smaller and have rough shells and a different head. And alligator snappers can be that big or bigger but have a very differently shaped head and shell.
afrontontvWOLF
That's where the Waterson's pet ended
onlyheretoargue
Don't fuck with dinosaurs.
Fossergrim
I had an alligator snapper bite the end off a canoe paddle once.
SomebodyalreadytookMyPants
yup, I will never swim naked, no matter who tells me there are no snapping turtles in that pond
walnutbreath
They do love minnows.
ChefsLoveCats
That fish certainly did.
Jaqdakloun
The testicular fortitude of this man, gonna have to look up this show again
TexMexHex
Not a snapping turtle
SirDaemos
"Who knew snapping turtles could launch their heads like missiles?" Umm, do normal people not know about snapping turtles? I truly thought these fuckers were common knowledge.
OhIfIMust
I swear, every video with snappers I see, the people are GROSSLY underestimating the speed and reach of those things, and it's only because the turtles didn't feel like absolutely wrecking their shit that they *didn't* get their shit absolutely wrecked.
hushpuppyextraordinaire
So does it have a fishing hook and line, all tangled in with the fish?
sentientbunnysuit1
I miss when turtles were slow.
boobsalot
LOL
nimeton0
Awmph
I was swimmin' across turtle creek with them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimmin' across that thing with both hands holding my ding-a-ling-a-ling
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
Wait until they find out where "snapping" part of their name comes from!
TsubakiTragic
I hasten to add that Australia has no native snapping turtles.
gregormud
CrisprCAS
That's why they're called snapping turtles.
JaceTiger
I call those long-neck having bastards "loggerheads"
choppedliveraldente
A fine name considering some of the names it could have ended up with. The zipper bite. Moyles tortis. Bris in a half shell. No show grower. The surprise dick necked turtle. Randysnapper. Im stupid this is sorry. Why
ImJustHereAtThisPoint
I thought it was because they loved West Side Story
Nofoxlefttogive
That too.
CrisprCAS
Although that's not a snapping turtle, it's a giant softshell. Different family, even.
MostAwesomeDan
It's a dinosaur. You should be afraid of it. I grew up in the southeast with crocs and gators and they terrify me not just because they're wearing nature's armor but because they are also antediluvian
Seethreepeeoh
Shredder knew. He tried to warn us.
Starlatan
I couldn't hear him past his mask puke!
pookieeatworld
SHREDDER DID NOTHING WRONG
davesaint01930
He killed splinters gf/wife...he is not innocent.
Grinch01
So new york would have a rat less not a big lose :-/
Raileks
I mean, he let his child get turned into a mutant snake on "bring your daughter to work day" so, he's not perfect.
BenYourFriend
SHREDDER DID A FEW THINGS WRONG
LockedAndKnotted
Yeah just pretend they're a snake in a turtle shell.
MeatballManifesto
Snapping turtles necks are basically as long as the shell. Only marginally safe way to grab em is by the back leg or the tail.
CrisprCAS
One hand underneath the body, one hand holding the base of the tail for support. Picking them up by the tail can seriously injure them. And either the tail or leg will really piss them off. So will picking them up by the shell. If they're too big for that, they're too big to move, give them time and space.
MeatballManifesto
The biggest I’ve ever had to move was an alligator snapper at nearly 2’ long. We used the leg method and it took two of us to get it in the pickup for relocation.
Ymris
I usually go with the stick a heavy branch in front of them, let them bite it, and then drag them method
penandsword
Very respectable method when moving big turts away from the side of the road and onto the grass.
ToolmanTR
Clint from Clints reptiles says otherwise
MeatballManifesto
I have no idea who that is. I am by no means an expert.
CrisprCAS
YouTube hosting evolutionary biologist
ToolmanTR
Yeah love Clint!
Jefftheonewiththenuke
River Monsters with Jeremy Wade. Great show. Worth a watch to unlock other fears.
Clayman8
I knew i was done with any body of water that isnt a bathtub when i saw him pull out a fish that had teeth that wouldnt feel out of place in a tiger's mouth and the size of a small sedan.
Fuck. Murky. Rivers. And everything in them.
TheCrusher78
I loved this show! Watched them all!
LaffertyDanie1
And this isn't even an appetizer on the Jeremy Wade menu of insane shit. Absolute madman. Love that show
yamsonyamsonyams
Thst show boldly answers the question: can one man catch 75 species of catfish?
Also that shoe ended cause he basically caught every freshwater fish there is
NOINITIATIVE
living the dream.
FleaTron
Yes, amazing show. Its Funducational!
TheVillageGrouch9000
Think that was India...
Apothecarius
"It's freshwater. All the big scary stuff lives out in salt water."
NothingPrince
Bull shark
FisheswithDynamite
If I'm not mistaken, the only reason that show went off the air is because he found all the monsters.
Umbravtwopointo
And put them in little balls he keeps strapped on his belt
LankyBootyGriswald
Like what? Some kind of pocket monster? It'll never catch on.
MuffinProof
Those aren't monsters, they're his Pals
EstoyPoopis
Gotta catch 'em all! Pals!
DrDadJokes
Trelfar
Why would blood be jetting out of the dismembered legs? Did this guy have secondary hearts in his ankles? And extreme hypertension?
Raileks
I suspect its a meat dummy, placed in the monster enclosure to provide it realistic prey. This particular creature likely won't eat unless it hunted the food itself. Warmed blood is pumped up through the feet to enhance the aesthetic of it being alive.
Dontstopbelever2000ismyfavoritesoap
It's a clone of an angel bound and used as a mech. So maybe?
Kokkinosmon
What show is this from?
Onisa
Looks like Neon Genesis Evangelion. Probably the redo.
Cevius
That would be the second Rebuild of Neon Genesis: Evangelion movie, "Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance"
digitreal
DaveTheScientist
Evolution don't give a fuck. Is it useful to dislocate the jaw and separate the palate from the skull? Then fuck it, that's what we're doing.
theobstruction
Evolution and natural selection work together. Evolution just provides a bunch of options. Selection eliminates the ones that don't manage to make more of themselves. The ones that reproduce are the ones with useful traits. And the fact that different traits can lead there is how species differentiation happens.
Basically, it's throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.
DaveTheScientist
Yup, which why we end up with animals whose bodies laugh at the concept of intelligent design.
4Astaroth
Or as a Physicist in Germany said (Harald Lesch talking about Evolution): "There are two ways to hit the center of a target with every shot. You have a master who never fails like Robin Hood or God OR you shoot the arrow anywhere and just build the target around it."
Tengenstein
What sticks *today*