ImActuallyAHobbitPleaseTeleportMeToMiddleEarth
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May 17, 2016 12:39 AM
ImActuallyAHobbitPleaseTeleportMeToMiddleEarth
84222
4460
410
butcherbird
This is not "The Mummy" series.
samsonguy920
Have you thought of maybe smoking a bit less pot and eating fewer brownies?
adunfate
So Rey is the Avatar.
E7018
Tldr: Rey is obi wan kenobi
Whyyoualwayslieing
I reckon she is his grandchild, and so it's grandchild vs grandchild
HisDudness
That's my thought too. Rey shows natural talent with mind tricks and that was always Kenobi's bag rather than Anakin's.
schoolappropriate
Brutal
LannistersSendTheirRetards
He reacted surprisingly well to his pregnant wife lmao? Nah, you really just can't come back from force choking a pregnant lady honestly.
chuckinator119
It was just a prank bro!
Slowpool
He had that "Oh God, really? I have to share her?" look on his face. Anakin's love of Padme was an incredibly selfish, greedy love.
Smarbury92
That might have just been his shit acting though, dude always looked pissed off at everything.
123trey456
Such as sand or younglings.
JamBarn
He was super conflicted when she told him too.
rockdweller
tl dr: Rey is the avatar
robotsanta77
Constantly reincarnated extremely powerful telekinetic with the purpose of bring balance to their societies? Sounds like the Avatar.
Brokiff
theplayahaterball
How did Any fail to bring balance? After order 66 the force is in balance for the first time
exguerrero
Merely wounded Kylo... bro did you see what that crossbow did to that stormtroopers? Deleted his soul.
sexyGandalf12
His six pack saved his life
superjario18
such an accurate description of what happened. Lmao.
Brokiff
RWAAAARRRWWWRWRWRWRWRWRRGGGH!
Karilyn
Kylo: "I know something you don't know. I'm left-handed! ... ... shit."
Sureletsgowiththat
"Hey, so am I! ...Wait, fuck"
rivernox1
Ain't gonna lie even the first time I watched it I was bothered by ren getting beat even if it was a "draw". made no sense whatsoever
Mischra
Lol
PICKABELLYCOTTON
Laughed way too hard at this XD
jadespider
This is GREAT! But you give the writers to much credit for the fan-service money-grab they called a movie. You should write the next one.
Amaterashu
"they have stuff in common! dae reincarnation?"
LLCoolBeans
I like it just because the thought that she's another skywalker kid is so boring. They already did that reveal
Armored0Titan0
Or, or, and hear me out on this one, she's her own goddamn person, independent of all the shitfuckery happening in the galaxy the last 1/2
Armored0Titan0
50 years.
theodorebeare
Or..or..hear me out. They wanted to shove the same story down your throat because it worked before and they couldn't have a repeat of Ep 1-3
Slowpool
I love you. This is exactly why I'm so disappointed with 7. It has no balls to advance the plot with new themes.
theodorebeare
I love you too
Slowpool
The most annoying part was Starkiller Base. "How do we raise the stakes beyond moon sized super-impractical planet destroyer?" (1/2)
Slowpool
"I got it. We make a PLANET sized HYPER-impractical MULTIPLE planet destroyer. Yeah, that'll sell tickets." (2/2)
theodorebeare
As I was watching I was like "ok. This is way too close to IV but whatever." Then more. Then more. Until I felt Disney owed me my money back
mordaedil
So many dumb things in this, but I don't even want to start dissecting it.
MrWolfwood
Merely wounded? He was shot with a fucking hand cannon
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
Bowcaster, not a cannon, that said, the damned thing is extremely fucking powerful
kecker
I think it was a reference to a funny Pulp Fiction quote.
FraudulentArtist
Hand cannon is slang for a powerful type of gun, so describing what is essentially a shotgun with that doesn't spread as one is accurate.
bundleofpun
Hand cannon also refers more to revolver-style weapons of large caliber, and bowcasters are first, more akin to rifles 1/2
FraudulentArtist
-with
bundleofpun
... and second, hit way harder than any one-handed blaster in canon.
RagingOyster
If this is true, I would groan loudly in the theater at its revelation.
hipifreq
Anakin's light saber was lost at the end of Empire and Luke built a new one prior to Return
LLCoolBeans
They specifically said they found it in Cloud City. Meaning it's Anakin's
hipifreq
Funny, I watched it three times and totally missed that it was the one lost in Cloud City... Thanks!
Reviire
That's cool, fun to read. But you know, I still refuse to acknowledge the new movies as canon. Hate me if you will.
Polmtop
Snape kills dumbledore
ekyxor
Mufasa dies in Lion king
tolkiennerd36
Ned stark gets executed.
ekyxor
Scar kills him
ToxicMolluscinity
Nooooooooo!!!
ekyxor
Then Simba, after having sex with Nala, kills Scar.
ToxicMolluscinity
I swear to God, bruh. Let me catch you in the streets. Bruh, I swear to God.
ausernamethatsnottaken
Decent theory, except it's never said that Rey was born on jakku.
PolaroidPuffin
She wasn't. It's made clear in the movie that she was dropped there as a child
reverendherring
I truly, utterly hope they don't come up with anything as silly as this...
Zeadrot
Well... destroys kylo... he was badly injured, why do people ignore this fact all the time. She would have lost, if he wasn't close to down?
GreatWhiteNorthEh
Also ignoring the fact that he was not trying to kill her, just like Vader vs Luke in Empire. Push them to their limits and convert them.
Slowpool
Exactly. They even had the scene of him smashing the wound to try and use the pain as power to remind you he's messed up.
FraudulentArtist
This was one of my absolute favorite parts of the movie.
KharnApproves
Same, people talk shit on Kylo but he is without a doubt the most interesting and best acted character in TFA.
AfterTheRainComesTheRainbow
Can we stop with the 'merely wounded'? Go watch the movie and pay close attention to the other bowcaster victims.
ninjaturnip
The bowcaster is a charger type weapon, a low level charge blast is nothing. Go play the Battlefront games.
AfterTheRainComesTheRainbow
We aren't taking about the game. We're talking about how in the movie it sent people flying into the air. Kylo merely took a knee.
ninjaturnip
Yea but kylo can also stop laser blasts using his force powers, dude's freaking strong and capable. He just losing all that capability when
ninjaturnip
he's fighting rey because she's the strong female protagonist who is actually the reincarnation of anakin, the previous strong female lead.
AfterTheRainComesTheRainbow
He just killed his father, so he's struggling with all that emotional stuff. He's also wounded and bleeding out. It's not just 'she iz lady'
BingoNightandmemories
So which bathroom does Rey identify with ??
HarryHamwallet
Ha
Sportmotor
No one in Star Wars uses the bathroom
JPre35
anakin did bring balance to the force you 1000's of jedi -2 sith
dru9087
Exactly.
Jabbathehutmademedoit
the amount of jedi's vs siths are not what balance means, can people stop saying that now.
ThinBoySlim
Fuck I never thought of this
Fishslayer
If I recall correctly it is a sith prophecy that the jedi misinterpret as a prophecy to bring an end to the sith so anakin was successful
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Lucas said "balance to the Force" meant destroying the Sith, not making the number of Sith and Jedi equal.
Slowpool
That sounds like Lucas doesn't know what balance means. You can't have only Light. You need the Dark to balance it out. The Dark (1/2)
Slowpool
Side isn't EVIL, really; it's just very dangerous. The Light isn't exactly GOOD either. So it's not a good and evil in balance thing.
ngetch
Balance in the Force is not like yin and yang. The dark side is a corruption of the force, a cancer. So no dark side equals balance
GenjiShimadaOfTheShimadaClan
Qui-gon and reven both saw that the dark side had it's place and wasn't to be feared they both studied light and dark
MileyCyborg
I really hate this theory, so it's probably true. The writing is so lazy. "Hey we have an entire galaxy to use, but everyone is related!"
JaxDagger
this whole thing lacks basic logic xD its just pure assumption all the way through "he was a family man" so what? lol no reasoning here.
ino84
Expecially considering that the story for the prequels was mostly garbage and they are trying to find meaning in that.
JaxDagger
not to mention very few people gave a shit about anakin in all honesty, he was a whiney man-child that they would do well to move away from
JaxDagger
he was not compassionate, he murdered children, choked his wife, tried to lead his own son to his death in jedi, come on now xD
JaxDagger
last point, it didnt take the skywalkers YEARS at all, anakin used the force as a CHILD while flying and during the pod race lol
LLCoolBeans
I think that's actually a point in favor of the theory
Armored0Titan0
To be fair, the Clone Wars series did expand on his character a lot, and it's canon.
oledirtybronco
I think she is a descendant of Revan. No basis for that I just like Revan.
notaballoon
Revan doesn't exist anymore fuccbois
jedimasterhannah
That's so Revan.
sexysubsandwich
AlbanB
Maybe the the Revan is the chosen one , and hes coming again to fix the problems around the galaxy
AlbanB
shit ,,did i just stutter even in comments
StarvingGarbage
She looks like Bastilla.
Selerox
Yep, been thinking that from the second I saw TFA. The staff twin sabre?) and the high collar of the last outfit she wears just add to it.
StarvingGarbage
Even the hairstyle is similar. It would be a really cool shootout to diehard fans who were sort of cheated by the reboot.
DarthReznor
I wrote a whole post about that theory actually!
sergeanttarkus
I like you too
CarcharodonCarcharias
Kylo's lightsaber supposedly comes from Malachor V, so the events of Kotor are cannon...
Slowpool
Well, REVAN is canon. The events of KOTOR are not necessarily.
ThoughtfulSatan
The old republic online is canon which makes KOTOR canon.
GreatWhiteNorthEh
None of the old republic stuff is canon.http://arcadesushi.com/bioware-star-wars-kotor-canon/
Sighber
Yes and No, in Disney's Star wars show it is proven that some of the KOTOR things are indeed cannon, such as Hammerhead ships, Malachor V...
Glumerlink
i dunno, only one person wore a revan-esque mask in the movies
AuxDragon
Amen to that.
Darthrevan140
I like me too
nylok
Disnay plz make movies for Revan, Plagueis,and Bane. ty.
1920x1080newyearsresolution
They should give him a movie "Revange of the Sith"
fenix404
You've got about as much backing you up as this post.
Redface13
I like the honesty
BoneSawIsReady
My theory is that the main character in Rogue One will be her mother.
fenix404
Better than any of the other theories, tho it's probably lukes daughter.
NotWrenP
That's actually a really smart idea. I am gonna steal that.
clopez1077
Everybody loves Revan.
Nikolai5
Is that a Star Wars sitcom?
Darthrevan140
I like to think so
TheSonOfX51
Snoke is Darth Bane
thegraphiteknight
Isn't bane an ancient sith? Nowhere near this timeline?
TheSonOfX51
Bane learned how to transfer bodies via stealing the technique from Darth Andeddu's holocron.
topshelfassistant
I got as far as "Darth Vader failed to bring balance to the force" 2 sith, hundreds of Jedi, there was no balance before.
LLCoolBeans
Balance doesn't mean equal numbers. The dark side was rampant and unquestionably the more powerful post-Vader, and still is in the sequels.
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
Here's the thing, Anakin succeeded in his mission, not once, but twice. Prior to Vaderizing the light was rampant and stagnating 1/?
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
him turning dark side "fixed" this problem, and once the dark side got too powerful, he murdered the emperor, bringing balance back, AGAIN.
topshelfassistant
Without darkness, the light cannot shine, and without light, there can be no shadows, balance of opposites isn't weapons they command
CongoJack13
Or maybe, and this will probably be down voted, poor script writing is the reason Rey can do whatever she wants the entire movie.
MaxamillionX72
agreed, she's a female character, so must be infallible. Reminds me of this:
ziggythez
Haven't you read "If I pay thee not in Gold"?
MaxamillionX72
No... Never heard of it, so I looked it up. Sounds terrible, Amazon desc is "clumsy" and "wasted effort"
Armored0Titan0
of Kylo Ren, the "Master of the Knights of Ren," all while being extra compassionate and having everybody she meets want her.
Armored0Titan0
It's called being an unrepentant Mary Sue. Ace pilot, brilliant starship mechanic, Force adept without training, warrior on the level 1/2
ropewarrior
You assume she hasn't had training
TwedsyT
You can set your watch to someone calling her a Mary Sue in these posts.
Armored0Titan0
Because she is one. It's an unarguable fact.
KenMbutnotreally
Amazing how the first 3 movies look newer than the second 3 movies. What happened to the technology?
JaxDagger
everythings orange sandy an chrome in the prequels it was horrible, no attractive features to the art style as all lost all original tones
IamAMON
I like to think that with the Empire in power, they restricted technology, kinda like Cuba under Castro
JimboPM
Nutshell: After Vader rose the galaxy went through an economic apocalypse as the Empire seized all raw materials and means of production.1/2
JimboPM
Societies had to start retrofitting old technology, while the Empire adopted the grey, lifeless designs meant for efficiency only. 2/2
RuinRequiem
Well played...
Jabbathehutmademedoit
That is technology.. applied later
LannistersSendTheirRetards
The Force had something to do with it. That's Star Wars excuse for everything ;)
JamBarn
Practical effects
UnderO87
The empire destroyed the economy so ships and equipment were mostly old.
Midniteoyl
Not so much the Empire, but the Clone Wars..
Dekacube
Can't beat baked greebles.
gundecker
....a war happened, then a brutal dictatorship, then another war. Go look up pictures of Baghdad from the 1950's and compare to today.
2000boxes
they made 4,5, and 6 before 1,2, and 3.
ipullout2L8
Lol everyone is talking about aging CGI and I think you nailed it on the head
2000boxes
seriously, i wasn't even alive when the first starwars movies were made and I still know this.
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
CGI ages badly compared to practical effects.
ElPoloDiablo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL6hp8BKB24
Attacker732
I don't know... Jurassic Park seems to have aged fairly well. Adjust some of the hairstyles & props, and you could have a modern film.
forelle
Bad CGI trying to show off ages badly. Good CGI cannot be distinguished from practical FX
PlesiosaurWithElementsOfAnIdeaOfTheLochNessMonsterBoy
That's because good CGI is generally used in movies like this to ENHANCE practical effects, this imo is where it shines the most.
ElPoloDiablo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL6hp8BKB24 Edumacate yoself
forelle
Well the first and foremost important thing what a film shows us and how it is achieved only matters if it is done poorly. Good CGI can [1]
forelle
be better than bad practical FX. Good practical FX are better for the actors and in some cases this can make the difference. [2]