TungstenOrbital
90954
1136
73
Oct 25, 2017 11:52 PM
TungstenOrbital
90954
1136
73
vikingvampireangel
My knives are usually the slashy utility sort. Not very good for stabby stab.
GnomeMode
That's why I *don't* carry a knife. Too many bitches needing shankings
Batonrougeisnotsobad
I need a knife. And to learn some knife tricks. Yeah...I’d be a total bad-ass. Or Edward Scissorhands when he’s nervous.
Hutchy01
Why cut cheesecake, that implies you can't eat a whole one
eaglehunter
Or shotgunning /,,/
mondanmondan
What's humorous about this? It's sound advice.
LoganMcD15
Or a sassy cheesecake.
45degreeanglesandknives
Indeed
DanaCary24
Lol
hobbitbandit
This! There's always someone who needs to be stabbed. Cheesecake a lot less.
fneee
A far less friendly option would be to carry relatively tiny amounts of fentanyl, which is deadly in miniscule quantities. Fentanyl.
Wobbixx
But can fentanyl cut cheesecake? No? Then a knife is far superior
MV50
Was that an actual issued military knife lol?
karm42yn
Could've been the 1st WW.
JAFIOI
I believe so. US Army issue trench knife.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKYOOOOOOOOUUUU
Mk. 1 trench knife from 1918
karm42yn
Words to live by.
GirdleTurtle
tumppu
"Jos ei puhe auta, niin puukko jumalauta!"
TheGreatPeru
That knife is brutal. That is all. +1
MetroidJunkie
Eating, stabbing human flesh, there's always.... both. http://fallout.neoseeker.com/w/i/fallout/e/ed/Cannibal.png
TheNewNurse
He's hackin' and wackin' and smackin' He just hacks, wacks, choppin' that meat
MetroidJunkie
That crazy Pete.
Bossdogs
Once met a guy who kept a spoon on his belt just in case he needed to dig his way out from under a tank.
Nearlyburly
Got mine in me pocket righ' now.
froggystylez
This guy definitely has his priorities in order.
oldguyexlurker
And a fork, in case the cheesecake is on the floor in the hallway. --Joey
RedRaptor
JAFIOI
Or if you need to stab someone who touches your fucking cheesecake.
RachTrap
that is covered by "meet someone who needs to be stabbed."
aethoneagle
Username really fucking checks out, holy shit
Charbunny
"What do you want for your third wish?"
Twichy
Or if you need to stab someone who is fucking your cheesecake.
p3culiar15
I currently have half ???? cheesecake and I ain't sharing.
mormonator12
Kinda falls under the second stipulation doesn't it?
funkmefunkyou
Someone get this guy a second knife!
TheKillerMonkey
Joey doesnt share food
reineseele
...just make sure they dont name you the "Cheesecake Murderer". I would stab people if they named me that.
TungstenOrbital
lochnessmonsterr
This is a quote though. Who said it? I can't remember
zanderclause
General Mathis. Thank god he’s on our side.
leroy666
Mattis
zanderclause
My bad. Thanks autocorrect...
skelitor120
Joking aside, I'm fascinated by how much carrying weapons seems to be glorified recently. Even if your intent is not to harm someone --
skelitor120
- (such as carrying a utility knife) why would you want to own something that could easily turn a light fistfight into a brutal murder? --
skelitor120
-- I speak as someone who's in favor of carrying weapons and I appreciate the security in knowing that if someone TRIES to kill you, you--
JokerVonDoloh
--live someplace where the things are pretty shitty. So obviously, you should do your part and participate in all the violence.
skelitor120
-- can defend yourself easier with weapons, but some people seem to not be aware of how SERIOUS small conflicts become when you introduce --
skelitor120
-- even small or improvised "weapons". A switchblade turns assault into attempted murder in a heartbeat.
JokerVonDoloh
Naaaaaah. "Armed people are polite people", that's how it is. /s
TungstenOrbital
Summarize that paragraph