clemdarkstarzero
30891
645
21
Feb 3, 2026 4:44 PM
clemdarkstarzero
30891
645
21
SubTrout
This cartoon is bullshit. Melania would not let Trump put his arm around her, she recoils like dogshit just touched her whenever you see Trump try to. Not that she's any better of course, but it is funny how they can't even pretend they care about each other in public.
Sqeezytzatziki
They have elevated her to a level only she believes.
dannne
Here in Sweden we have one company that have like 90% of cinema market. They don't even show it.
nalmeth
Money laundering scheme
Marsupialmessiah
Ew ive seen her nudies, thats one horrible person inside and out. Ew.
Goldmarble
Local Cinema: Doesn't have it. Not in the "Up coming" Movie list either.
Not at the theatre in the closest city.
Not even at the "Corporate" cinema in Nanaimo.
Man, I am glad I live in Canada.
BarnegatLight
Good news! /S
creegro
Oh cool! Now you get to see her walk around doing her job, you know.....that thing .....uh....that she does.....for her job?....
dingybasement350
I guess there's a lot more money to be laundered.
deadmanstar
cowgoesmoo1
The best review I've read thus far calls it "Meh-lania".
crypticorb
My favorite review said:
“If they showed on a plane flight complimentary, people would still get up and find the nearest exit.”
breguet
I want to say in Finnish, "the USA stinks of long shit" you are a nation of assholes
cowgoesmoo1
Please don't judge all of us by our worst examples.
FckleberryFarms
https://www.businessinsider.com/melania-box-office-analysis-2026-2 "Spending upwards of $75 million on 'Melania' is not about art, it's about positioning," Exhibitor Relations box-office analyst Jeff Bock told Business Insider. "It certainly feeds news cycles and gets viral discourse, but 'Melania' is really a corporate chess move with a human brand as the piece. This is access and leverage for Amazon, plain and simple."
TheWombatStrikesAgain
It's a bribe. Plain and simple.
duoplicity
Also...
Money laundering.
HelpfulCorn
The long tie makes me laugh every time
Ifekinlovesauerkraut
Just checked the local cinema, it's "currently" not on their list. I sure hope it stays that way...
Rosfmmmhzdrozzley
So today is boob day I take it? How come nobody told me?
taez555
As long as the churches keep buying tickets it looks like a hit.
rusrsdude
It'll more be the "influencers" who go "i watched melania's documentary so you didnt have to". If you come across those kind of content creators, just report them for whatever reason haha. It's basically similar to reaction videos which are mostly useless.
onlymostofthetime
yup. it's yet another example of the dizzying lengths this administration is going in order to launder their money.
TheForegoneConclusion
Not to mention the movie itself is a blatant bribe from Bozos.
CarbyD
Churches putting out ridiculous money to support and protect pedophiles?!?!? Who'da thunk?
BeaverOnFire
taez555
Autittuderp
It's like their calling card, no?
cowgoesmoo1
Churches and journalists who feel duty bound to go watch it.
taez555
The churches aren't watching it though. They're just buying tickets to inflate sales #'s.
Cptbluebeard7
A 68 million dollar loss looks like a hit?
Marsupialmessiah
Its a money laundering op, they betbagainst the losses and create money out of nothing to clean the bribes. Oldest trick in the book, just not a casino, drug cartel or laundromats with prostitutes, the prostitutes are on film now
AranaDiscoteca
Look, you can't let facts stop you when there's a clear shot to dunk on some random Christian people.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
The only people buying tickets are churches (not to watch but to 'support' and keep it running in cinemas for longer) and journalists who sit in empty theaters.
AranaDiscoteca
It is not appropriate to say "women are funding Melania" even if the audience is mostly female, because it creates a disingenuous suggestion of mass purchase by any group. Too few tickets are being sold for their to be any group we describe as driving sales. The more accurate statement would be: "No one isn't going to see Melania without being ordered to do so."
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Nobody said that. Literally nobody said that.
But yes, the only people going to see this are ones ordered to.
judyblue
Not random at all. Very specific people. The people buying tickets. The church people buying tickets to this movie. The ticket buyers of this glorified Insta reel of a movie and the churches they belong to. The people and the churches buying tickets to this dumb movie for the express purpose of inflating the box office numbers.
Those people. Not random Christian people.
But you can't let facts stop you when there's a clear shot to play victim.
taez555
I'm smelling Oscar!!! ;-)
firlefranz
Guess who will present it to her?
EricPisch
FIFA Oscar’s
bippityboppitybuttsex
Just a head's up that in 2027, trump is going to go on a rampage against California when this piece of shit movie by a pedophile, about pedophiles, doesn't win the Oscar for best documentary (or isn't even nominated).
xj4low
Can't wait to see who all gets sued and for how many billions.
b00guy
I don't think he will, he cares about himself, not her.
Jarodamus
Too bad because it's going to Markiplier!
Yellowchopsticks
He can just get one from FIFA
nimeton0
It is not a movie, it is a Bribe-umentary.
Firestar002
This really makes me sick that the bribe is (poorly) disguised as a movie. Remember when bribes used to be anonymous donations?
Oh wait, distraction from the files. That’s why this bribe is in a ‘public view’ thing.
Soufange
Bro it's tax fraud. That's why Amazon paid 40 million for "exclusive streaming rights"
cowgoesmoo1
It's funny how the narrative has changed. "Biggest opening weekend for a documentary!" Until someone points to Fahrenheit 9/11. "OK, then, biggest in the last 10 years!" Until they point to Taylor Swift. "OK, um... biggest non-concert documentary in the last 10 years."
bippityboppitybuttsex
'Biggest documentary about a first lady in the 2020s!'
truthader
TheLastBootyBender
Obama has the opportunity to do the funniest shit
StellarJay77
I really think that would actually cause Trump's head to explode, after all it was Obama making fun of him that started us on this whole fucked up roller coaster ride.