I am doing IVF in the USA and it is a rollercoaster, story time for those who want to learn more

There is inevitable and heartbreaking loss at almost every stage of IVF treatments (retrieving eggs) and implantation procedures (putting embryos in the womb) but some people have no other way to get pregnant. When harvesting eggs only some will be mature no matter how many drugs you take. Numbers of success have gone up as the science has improved so about 80% of mature eggs survive fertilization, but now we are dealing with embryos technically and this is where things get complicated. Only about 40-50% of embryos make it to days 5-7 or what is called the blastocyst phase or the “blast phase.” This is unbelievably hard for people who have worked so hard to get this far and now doctors/nurses could become criminals bc they CANNOT change this. We do not want to lose these embryos, they are our chances at having our deeply wanted babies but this is part of a natural process that weeds out non-viable pregnancies and this happens in the womb as well, women typically produce more than one egg and but usually only one or two eggs mature to make it to natural ovulation during a normal pregnancy. The medications we take for IVF can help people produce more eggs but more often they are just helping mature more of the eggs you already produce every month, especially as you get older. We want quality over quantity but both help.

The ruling in Alabama has shut down clinics already bc they cannot avoid embryo death, it happens in pretty much every IVF cycle ever done, and if there was a way to stop this we would but this will likely always be the case even as the science improves bc it is a natural part of procreating. We want healthy pregnancies for parents who WANT to have kids, not forced birth for unprepared parents…

I am in my late 30s and I have fallopian tube issues causing me to have two fallopian ectopic implantations that were not able to be saved bc once an embryo has implanted outside of the womb it is not viable no matter how much you want that baby. I have to have two different emergency surgeries to have one and then the other of my tubes removed so I didn’t bleed to death or die of infection, whatever comes first. My first IVF cycle retrieval (yesterday) yielded only 3 mature eggs and now they have to go through the fertilization process were I may lose half, I am hoping for two embryos to make it to the blast stage but that is against the odds. If there was ANYTHING me or my doctors could do to improve my chances we would, trust me! I know adoption is a good option but that is not what we are talking about here, that will be my only option if IVF fails for me bc I do not plan to use donor eggs or embryos, that is a personal choice. In the state of Colorado, since I am diagnosed with infertility, I get three IVF rounds and unlimited embryo implantations covered by my insurance and I will give it my best shot, everyone suffering from infertility, regardless of gender, deserves this chance to not only try IVF but to have their insurance cover it bc it is a treatable disorder that is becoming increasingly common due to environmental factors and how many people are waiting to start families until they are more stable in life. I also had a spine injury requiring surgery that set me back in starting this process.

If any fertilized eggs make it to the blast phase then we get to implant. Implantation is tricky and the numbers can be slightly higher for success here but there is still loss, not all of them make it, maybe close to half or a bit more. These embryos also may die in the womb which is why when IVF was starting out they used to implant a bunch and see what stuck (see octomom and the many IVF patients with twins). Freezing embryos is also needed since we are not implanting them all at the same time anymore and these freezing methods have greatly improved over time, but there can be heartbreaking loss here too. Since I have a spine injury, I am a tiny person, and “of an advanced maternal age,” multiple births is risky and we will be implanting one at a time (if I get any viable blast phase embryos) with waiting being the hardest part. I want a baby so bad, I have been though a lot to get here and it already looks like I will be gearing up for another round of IVF due to low numbers. We will change up the medications and hope for a better result.

Other people’s religious believes have no place in my process with my doctors around IVF. If YOU don’t believe in IVF or other pregnancy interventions such as abortion, then you don’t have to participate and I do not need to be told what to do with my body, or have embryos defined by non-medical religious cunts who daily contradict themselves in their mission to control others especially women and LGBTQAI+ ppl. I want to be a mom so bad, I want to be pregnant and let my body go through this process, and yes I want a baby with my goofy genes. I am prepared and if I ever want a 2nd kid I will adopt bc of how difficult this process is for me and I can’t really hope for two babies, one is good enough.

I have been injecting medications morning and night for the past two two weeks with appointments across the city every other day or every day at the end. I am bruised from the injections and all the blood tests, I am bloated and tired. But I will fight for other people to not only have to chance to do this but to also someday have it covered by their insurance, this is the way. If someone if strong enough to get through this process and they get lucky enough to make it to a healthy birth, why not let them? What not make it more accessible rather than less? WHO CARES what you ancient books say? This did not exist in ancient times, and if infertility is god’s will then so is every other treatable condition and that is insane. We do not have to suffer and die, our medical system here in America is already messed up and that is an understatement. With monthly payments included, I spend around 10,000$ on healthcare a year and that is considered a low cost for IVF so I am lucky! People die and suffer from treatable diseases every year and that needs to end. I am ready to fight and hopefully I get to do that with my own kid at my side to show them how we can make the world a better, safer, happier place for them in the future. Universal healthcare and body autonomy now! This is just the start of what we need to change in this country…

We are going to need more people to get back on the same page and start working together to vote politicians out who seek to control others especially under the guise of religion, we need to enforce separation of church and state now. We need to reform the already problematic policies around healthcare so this doesn’t continue to be the modern dark ages of the USA where the working class suffers and even dies due to the rich taking more than their fair share, getting all the opportunities and luxuries, and finding every tax loophole that shouldn’t exist. We need all politicians to stop taking money from corporations who care only about quarterly profits are returns for shareholders bc we live in a finite world where infinite growth is not even possible. We need to stop allowing lobbying aimed to make us more sick, broke, desperate, and divided. Please vote but also speak up, share your stories bc we need more ppl to understand the hardships we are all facing. Thank you for reading

Beanie baby tax bc I am an elder millennial FP edit: Thank you for the conversation and distraction today. Please excuse my typos, I’m dyslexic and on mobile things are hard to edit. All three of my eggs fertilized but I have to wait until this time next week for an update and likely will lose one or two. It was amazing to hear some of your stories, the good, the sad and the angry. Take care of each other and do not be afraid to speak out, we have work to do people.