I AM THE WIZARD OF BLEACH! 

I AM THE WIZARD OF BLEACH! 

I work in retail. It's been 15 years due to immigration issues and health since I worked. Got a part time retail job. I thought I was pretty o.k. with humans. What a sweet summer child I was.

We sell everything for a dollar. So by now you probably know exactly who I work for. Anyway, one of the things that always flies off the shelves is bleach. We get a truck, we get 100 bottles of bleach or more. Within a few days we're sold out. People will buy them by the cart load. I assume it's because they're in the cleaning business, or they're murderers. At this point, I don't care. It's my job to smile, ring it up, bag it and move on.

Except One Guy last week. I go through my regular spiel. "Hi, how are you?" I don't even get a look, grunt, sniff, or twitch in my direction. O.K. then. I keep going. "Did you find everything you needed today? :D"
"No."
Oh. "I am so sorry to hear that sir, what were we missing today?"
"Ya'll never have ANY bleach. NEVER! I come here everyday for the last month --" (First time I've rung him up and I've worked here since August. I know my regulars by now. Some of them by name, some of them I remember little things, like this one lady whose little girl is going through some bad teething. I asked her the other day how her daughter was handling it still, and she looked surprised and touched. Actually said happily: "OH! You remembered?!" ), --"And there is NEVER bleach. I'm tired of it! It's ridiculous! My wife keeps coming here and there isn't any! Why can't YOU keep any bleach? Sick of it! I'm never shopping here ever again! Neither is my wife! This is absolutely stupid! "

I nod along. I made sure I don't look too glassy eyed. It's almost christmas and times are frustrating. I keep reminding myself I don't know what's going on in people's lives. Maybe the bleach not being there is the last straw to a truly shitty week. "I am so sorry, sir. I know we did have bleach two days ago when I was working, but a lot of people buy in large quanti--"
"Then YOU should know that! You oughtta order enough for everybody! Why're you the ONLY store that never has any? I'm sick of it! You gotta start THINKIN', you know? Order stuff for everyone! This is stupid! Man, fuckin' get your shit together!"

Uh--
My assistant manager pops her head up and rounds another register aisle. "Excuse me, is there a problem here? May I help you?"

He turns the same rant right on her. She takes it with a professional manner in which most retail employees do. Stoic with a "listening" face. She says the EXACT thing I did. "Well sir, we did have a truck come in with bleach three days ago, but, we sold out very quickly because people buy--"

"WELL THEN THAT'S YOUR FAULT, ISN'T IT? YOU SHOULD KNOW. YOU SHOULD KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH TO ORDER AND PUT ON THE SHELF CAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR. AND I'M TIRED OF COMING HERE AND THERE'S NO BLEACH.FUCK THIS STORE. "

"Sir, we can't estimate if there'll be a rush to--"
"I DON'T CARE. THAT'S YOUR JOB!"
"Sir, if you'd like, you can come back and check--"

That's when he dead dropped: "I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!" She apologized again and by that time I had 10 people in line staring at this guys head as if they wanted to set it on fire and I wanted to get him the fuck out of the store. So I smile and cheerfully say, "That'll be eleven dollars and 77 cents please!"

Mr. Happy Bleach Pants swipes his card. Says nothing.

I hand him his receipt and with my best Southern Lady intonation of 'well bless your little heart,' (without being southern, or having an accent,) tell him: "You have a *wonder-ful* christmas and happiest of holidays."

I actually got a "..uh..yeah, you too," before he left.

TL:DR Apparently I am the fucking wizard of bleach and I should telepathically know exactly how much bleach is going to be sold to customers over the month and magically order it, as a cashier, that has NOTHING to do with ordering supplies, the truck, and inventory. MERRY RETAILMAS.