semper5awesome
60127
1391
34
So today imgur informed me that it's my cake day. I keep forgetting it so I'm glad it reminds me.
Enjoy some definitely not stolen memes and have a good day.
RuBisCO1
#5 TRUE!
Bloodsense
#1 Whoever finishes him off with their punch gets their dollar back, as a treat.
wadatahmydamie
#11 it’s-a me!
MantisTobagganMD
#1 Does that factor in repeat customer's? I might just have to empty my account....
GratuaCuun
#1 well, I'm in
AliceInjection
#1: he'd be beaten to death before everyone got their Medicare.
sapphsquatch
#16 DON'T MANIFEST THAT EVIL INTO EXISTENCE. You'll also have to pay an additional subscription fee to do it.
IceWeaselX
Ugh. At the height of the pandemic here, paper products were literally being unloaded from delivery trucks by customers. You couldn't get them before someone else if you weren't next to the truck. I don't even want to know how much of a nightmare that was for inventory tracking, but trying to get toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues meant going outside to the truck instead of going to the designated shopping aisle.
ALLCAPSROCK
#1 at this point with him all dementia'd out, it would feel just unsatisfying and as fulfilling as hitting an infant coma patient... or a dead puppy...
OhMyYoureSexxy
#1 I’d pay a dollar a hundred times
Firestar002
#11 I like this.
wadatahmydamie
Thank you
Firestar002
Speaking of slapping and cooked chicken, I THINK you’d need to slap a chicken with the speed of 3725mph to cook it with a slap. Sadly I forgot the sauce, but I know it’s somewhere.
DaTyger
something something Unity CEO
twatburglar
#1 I'll pay a lot more than that
theresgoldinthemtherehills
I'm not American, never even been there. I'll donate a lot of dollars to punch that bigoted fucking turtle in the throat just once.
OptimisticMisanthrope
Where are you from, friend? I'm sure you have a shitty politician or two wherever you are, and I'm interested in setting up a face punching exchange program.
Drekey
I'm very interested in joining this program. I'm from Portugal, and please take a pick of any of our many absolutely shit stains of a poor excuse for a politician in our parlamente.
matt692007
#10 I am tipping so this asshole can quit this job and go do something else because being a waiter is not in their skill set.
Aaronb1138
Trick #1 is don't eat at fast casual restaurants. Most decent sized cities have bars with better food at a better price than Chili's/Friday's/Applebee's/et al. And that is before getting to any food besides shitty americana.
LanceCorporalBadger
#2 I just walked about a mile to pick up my car from the shop. There is no curb on the main road I was on but I was safely off on the grass about 3-4 from the street. Car drifted came on the grass and I jumped out of the way. Driver regained control and pulled back to the street so he wouldn’t have gotten me. First thought was shit, I would have had to go in an ambulance and I can’t afford it.
JadeNB1729
Thank God the US has baked-in car-centered design, or that driver might have been really inconvenienced by you.
OptimisticMisanthrope
I'm sure if there had been an accident, both parties would have been covered by their respective insurance companies. Oh, what's that? You say they'd both be denied coverage while simultaneously getting their rates increased? Fantastic. America is truly a shining light on a hill.
thinkstopthink
psmith00
#1 I'd buy that for a dollar.
Blakeadelic
#1 Medicare will match donations where the punch pops out yet another chin. Or if any blow damages the carapace.
EricRovelo
#6 I propose to end it with "even if you get rusty, don't stop doing what you love"
PoliticalWanderer
#11: Remember, we all need to take rotating shifts so nobody becomes too injured upholding the enforcement of slapitalism.
MajMalfunction2
#1
invaderjak
#1 they'd make a killing charging $100 to punch donnie
VeryEnthusiasticWalksThroughtheWoods
Fuck I'd pay for it still
Wapusk
"People are paying a dollar to punch McConnell? Hah, looser, I'm sooo much more popular, I'll bet they'd pay a hundred. I'm yuge with the face punch crowd. I have the best face punch-Y'know, people have been asking to punch me in the face for years, it's true... (ad nauseam)" -Donny "Cult 45" Drumph.
Nightcaste
The problem with either is getting people to *stop* punching.
Btch128
Make like buy 5 and the 6th is free...10 and the 11 and 12th are free...15 get to kick him...20 get to arm bar or roundhouse kick
Nightcaste
No. Got to keep the line moving. Everyone gets a turn.
barbarian818
Treat it looks like a car rental: credit card only. Pre-auth the card for 5X the single rate. Then charge the correct amount once they step back and peel off the arm pit high gloves and rubber apron. (Shit spatters)
invaderjak
"ok, you pre-paid for one punch, but you'll need to pay for the remaining 37 before you can leave..."
Nightcaste
Mfers getting a second mortgage and shit
invaderjak
I'm good for a few punches
Grinch01
#1 bs after the first 100 his face would look like mashed potato and he would be dead and the fun would be over start with kicking his low hanging balls till they explode
eugene51
#1 Do you accept £GBP?
crossingdynasty
All McConnell needs to do is medically disassociate out again and he won't even recognize the beatings
thinkstopthink
woozle
ballsoutflyer
I got a spare grand. When I get tired, I'll pay someone to take over.
Alexkorobeiniki
Now, now, he *is* an old man. If you hit him that many times there won’t be enough for everyone. Sharing is caring, after all
sixtimesaday
Europeans would be eager to wait in the line to slap that twat as well. It would be the queue of queue's!
reverendbonobo
AlwaysUpvoteBunnies
woozle
lol
DarkSock
I would develop bursitis in my elbow… And thanks to Mitch McConnell, going to the doctor to treat it would be out of pocket.
awkungen42
If he freezes up when I hit him like he has been lately I will be demanding my money back.
nowinsituation
* the planet isn't dying- it is just becoming uninhabitable for humans- after we go (which ill still be a long time - a miserable sad long time in an increasingly uncomfortable planet)- like 100,000 years after we are extinct (like less than a second of Earth timeline) the Earth will be absolutely fine....in 1,000,000 years after we are gone- it will be amazing
TalleyZorah
Unfortunately, it will not be a "long time" before Earth is uninhabitable. We are already seeing increased food scarcity due to crops dying from the effects of climate change; it's literally affecting global trade and changing economic flow. There are climate change initiatives, but humanity is not working fast enough to outpace it. Source: Getting humans off world and feeding them (on Earth and beyond) through climate change is my entire job.
nowinsituation
It will become inhabitable for a vast majority of the population, but many millions (not hundreds of millions, not billions- but definitely millions) will continue to live...though it a very different way than we do now.
Vorphalack
You’re forgetting the vast majority of species that are losing their habitats. Indifference to all that is vain, cruel, and stupid.
Jace99
If they’re indifferent to anything, it’s humans. And they’re right, the planet will be fine after we’ve destroyed ourselves. There will be a plethora of new species thriving in our compost. 2 weeks after the world shutdown over Covid, plant life not seen in 50 years were found growing. Believing human extinction is inevitable isn’t nihilism, it’s just realistic. We’ve had the tools to save ourselves for decades, we just can’t be bothered.
nowinsituation
It wasn't indifference, it was a statement about the Earth not dying- the Earth will be fine, life will continue, it will just be different and harder for humans for a while, and eventually not inhabitable by humans- very few species have been around for millions of years- just saying- it the overall history of the Earth- we are nothing and the Earth as we know it- dating back to the Dinosaurs- is a blip in its overall age. We as a species are destroying many things, but over all- meh.
nowinsituation
We are destroying many beautiful and fragile things and polluting the Earth and it is creating natural disasters and it totally sucks- but the earth is not dying and it will recover and move on after we have destroyed ourselves...which will not happen for 10,000s or 100,000s of years...but that is all still just a few "seconds" in earth 4,600,000,000 years of life so far...
Vorphalack
You just repeated the same nihilistic bullshit again, still ignoring almost all living species. It’s not insightful or helpful in any way.
nowinsituation
I wasn't trying to be- just pointing out the truth...the Earth is not dying... it's not bullshit...it's fact.