PugDogMan
2643
118
54
I understand that people want to identify as what they are, and will gladly call anyone she or he, or any non-gendered pronouns where possible if necessary, but what is the point? I mean this very sincerely. If you can love who you want, and be who you want, and marry who you want, and be who you want, why does this matter? And why are people angry at everyone over 30 for occasionally getting this wrong accidentally? Maybe I am just too old at 35 to get it, but there has to be a point where I get to say “I support you, but I also sincerely don’t care that much about your personal life and it’s not my job to ensure I unlearn 35 years of grammar for specific instances overnight,” right?
1potsie
I already gave up and just call everyone boss. Most people seam ok with it. At 62 I get where you coming from and don't want to offend anyon
brianglass10
I don’t mind saying they/them but I get a tiny bit confused because I always think the terms are plural.
Luthierfer
Once you hit a certain age, you can call everyone "kid".
loungeking1
I’ve reduced everyone to “Big Shooter”
Arcygenical
Yoink.
CraftyGiant
I'm 42, you're just an asshole.
raisedonadrywell
ditto at 64
PamfromTheOffice
I'm 31 and I am having trouble with it too but I do earnestly try.
TargaX
I identify as a meat popsicle.
LazerBeamButtHole
If you’re speaking about someone you don’t know the gender of, do you just randomly assign one?
PanOpAnimal
You’d just call them by their name. No pronouns necessary
LazerBeamButtHole
And if you didn’t know they’re name? Come on, you’ve been doing it as long as you’ve been speaking English.
OmenJones
I'll continue to do my best with this, apologize when I fuck up, and not care afterward.
moachaen
If you don't socialize with anyone preferring those pronouns, it can be challenging to learn in practice 1/2
moachaen
But there is no shortage of education available to you. I'm 40 and picked it up by listening to people, and it's supported in my workplace.
moachaen
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/14/janelle-monae-non-binary-pronouns-they-them
Tesseract09
I'm 34 and I've never had an issue, so age is a pretty damn weak excuse.
FajitaJane
If you didn't k OW someone's gender to begin with you'd say they or them. So it's not a grammar thing. It's just you being an ass BTW I'm 32
ThatRaccoonGuy
It's awkward and takes a lot of getting used to, but I find it a small effort to make somebody happy. Doesn't cost me anything except trying
ThatRaccoonGuy
Nobody's ever gotten mad at me for getting it wrong. I have long-time friends who only recently figured out their trans status.
ThatRaccoonGuy
I get it wrong day after day, month after month. "It's him--shoot, her. Sorry." But I try, and that's all anybody asks.
atrielienz
I'm from Philly. Everybody's pronoun is now "jawn".
flicman
Nobody is angry that you get it wrong occasionally. They're angry that you can't be bothered to try.
PugDogMan
I think I’m pretty clear that I’m actively trying…
Forensickle
Then those individuals are being dicks. Most trans people respect that is hard and are tolerant of pronoun slips
RednapxpandeR
I just have a issue when I’m supposed to read their mind and know before hand before the snarky correction comes my way. Just explain nicely
Arcygenical
Yeah, I'd ream someone out for that. It's common fucking decency to approach it like you were called the wrong name.
gaggingforit
Those kinds of opinions are not going to go over here mate lol.
FatersGonnaFate
Pronouns exist so you don't have to learn everyone's proper name. Learning pronouns specific to each individual defeats the purpose.
atrielienz
Then we should all be they/them, and that's Uber confusing. I agree with you though.
Arcygenical
Honestly, the way my brain is wired (since childhood) everyone is already They/Them. I lucked out, changing it seems impossible.
senzykyo3004
Language will change over time. As this normalizes, forcing it only causes more harm than good
spiceegiirl
sittingherethinkingthinkingimsittingherelisteningtoyou
cfsingers
This. This is exactly how I feel. Especially the not caring part. Everyone in my work life has become buddy...
CuzImALady
HermanTheGerman71
I agree. Plus it's only when you talk ABOUT them to other people. I have a pretty good idea how people refer to me (when I'm not there)
Cavalrysword
If an individual has a pronoun of they/them, I suspect they are schizophrenic.
Arcygenical
Sometimes I refer to myself as we. It's fun.
Arcygenical
The number of times anyone has actually gotten upset at me, in the real world, over this shit... Is zero.
Arcygenical
And honestly? If someone made a huge deal out of my honest mistake, or pathological forgetfulness, they can go fuck themselves.
Ittybittybroad
THIS. There are people at the edges of my social circles that i didn't like as humans prior to changing pronouns. Anytime I would see /
Ittybittybroad
An angry rant over a cashier messing up it solidified those feelings.
RatBits
This happened to me in my DND group. We had a Trans woman who still looked masculine, and my dumb brain would slip into he/him pronouns +
RatBits
+ when I would get excited. I was always embarrassed and would apologize profusely, but she got so mad - super snarky and passive-aggressive
RatBits
I should note that I did not know this person long. I imagine I would have gotten my head straight sooner rather than later.
Arcygenical
See my second comment for situations like that ;) That's a reflection on the person they are, not who you are.
RatBits
Your second comment has been noted! :)
BofusTeefus
Dude. Everyone is dude. We're all dude/dudes.
CypherMarz
https://i.imgur.com/SODKE8g
youcancallmesusanifitmakesyouhappy
d0o0o0d
^ He knows of what he speaks.
Notthewatdabney
I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude. We're all dudes!
ThatRaccoonGuy
Came here to post this. But you win.
Notthewatdabney
Muunk
Duuuuude.
Tassyr
As a Californian, yup. Even inanimate objects are dude- my car wouldn't start, it was dude. My PC had an issue, dude.
Arcygenical
I know a few people that put "dude" on the no-fly list. I don't get it, but I also can't fathom how words can hurt in the absence of intent
OmenJones
They can try to put it on a no-fly list all they want.