Hardest decision of my life

Oct 9, 2023 11:46 PM

sirbartonslady

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Shouting into the void. Said my goodbyes to my 77yo mother after she deteriorated into a vegetative state from a catastrophic fall last week. She's had brain-bleed, multiple strokes and now heart arrhythmia and inability to control her breathing properly. She wouldn't want to be left like this, so my brother and I made the decision to let her go and the hospital will see to it that she passes peacefully.

I'm grieving harder than I've ever grieved before. I've been her caretaker for nearly a decade, and now I feel so alone.

The hospital offers grief counseling and bereavement services so I'll be okay, but for now...

I love you so much, Mom. I'll miss you so much. Thank you for being the best mom I could ever ask for. Please go in peace.

You don't think the pain is ever going away. It's been three years now, and time has helped. Still going to be a hole in your life, but it does get better.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

So sorry for your loss. You seem a real good person, so I'm willing to bet she was a great mom.

2 years ago | Likes 70 Dislikes 0

Sorry for your loss, friend.

2 years ago | Likes 256 Dislikes 2

Said goodbye to my mom 15 years ago, she was fine, sent me an email that night, and in the morning she was gone. I'm sorry you find yourself at the edge of the void, but as someone who's been here a long time, it's not as lonely as you think.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Sorry for your loss.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You should make another post when you're ready, and if you want to of course, about your mom. You don't have to be specific, but maybe celebrating her will make you feel a bit better. You did the right thing and you are a wonderful child.

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

May her memory be a blessing. Requiesce in pace.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sending you my love. Sorry OP. That's hard.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

You've done the right thing, and she's thanking you for letting her pain end.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I am so sorry. Sending you hugs.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry for your loss. You did right by your mom.

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Thank you for respecting her wishes and letting her go. I know that had to be hard but that’s what I want when I get to that stage and just hope my children will respect my wishes. She is at Peace.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry! I lost my dad 3 yrs ago and the world has since felt dimmer. You will have waves of grief. Surround yourself with friends and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

My condolences. *hug*

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I feel you. My mom had a stroke three years ago and now has dementia so bad that she doesn't know who most people are anymore. I shudder to think of how scared she must be at times. I'm so sorry that you're losing your mom, @OP. I'll pray for her peace and yours as well.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It was the one year anniversary of my dad’s passing last week. He had a catastrophic fall like your mum did, saying goodbye was tough. I hope you have friends who can support you at this time, it’s essential.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sorry and RIP

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seems to me like she raised on hell of a son. I'm sure she was proud. Sorry for your loss.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It good you have your brother to lean on right now. Condolences to your family.

2 years ago | Likes 115 Dislikes 0

Yes I am very lucky. Thank you.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

I have watched far too many patients spend years wasting away both physically and mentally; I hope your mother didn’t feel too much pain when she took her fall, and I hope she suffered as little as possible after the fall. I’m so sorry.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wish I could hug you so tight right now. I’m so sorry for your losing your mom. It is incredibly painful and never easy when there is so much love to be missed. She knows you love her.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I want a physical hug so bad right now. Someone to just squeeze the pain away, if only for a second. Thank you for your kind words

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2011, it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt. You’ll eventually cry a little less, it will hurt a little less, but there will be shocking moments when you’ll try to call her or think of something you want to tell her that happened in your day and you have to smile and know she knows. I still dream of my mom often and wake up crying. I’m sorry you are going through this. Truly.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My grandmother had the same issue. May they rest in peace.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My mom is rolling up on 60 and we're renovating a house together... And it's the best years of my life, things will be changing soon, and I reflect on what it will feel like... I'm sorry you lost your mom, there aren't many things as hard, loosing a child is probably worse, I hope she loved her life. Keep looking forward, it's our only choice.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My condolences! I hole you will find joy in life again! Remember the good times with your mother!

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exactly one month ago I found my mom after she’d had a massive stroke - non responsive but snoring heavily in and out. ER docs said only a small part of her brain was working and would not survive it. We stayed with her until noon the next day when she passed. 76 years old with no health problems.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0