Hoping some of you have some advice

Hoping some of you have some advice

I know Imgur isn't a fan of sob stories. Everyone has one. And this pales in the wake of the tragedies around the world yesterday. But I just wanted to get this out and hope I can find some encouragement.
I've been having issues with drugs for years, mostly because of insomnia and depression. Got too dependent on sleeping pills for them to work, then benzos, then drinking. This all got a lot worse when my mom died slowly and unexpectedly.
Last week I finally found a reason to want to get sober. Adorable girl in one of my classes. She loves to talk and joke with me during class, so I finally asked her (the irony doesn't escape me) if she'd like to get a drink.
And, as it turns out, she was super into it! We had a wonderful time, and she told me how much she wanted to do this again and how since the first time she heard me speak in class, she knew I was someone she wanted to get to know.
So it was like a switch went on in my brain--for the first time in years I wanted to live rather than die. But drinking has caused me to put on weight, even loose a little hair, lost a job, ruined my relationship with my father and brother, I have no motivation in school, and just sulk and cry a lot.
Finally clicking with someone after almost six years made me regret all the choices I made which probably would ruin any chance I could have to get romantically involved with this girl.
Have a doctor's appointment soon to get evaluated and get on a med my dad and a few other people are on to curb addiction.
Problem is I'm too afraid, and no strong enough to believe I can stop. I know this is all self-serving and superficial, but again I just wanted to share and hope some other abusers out there have any advice.

TL;DR--Drug addict and raging alcoholic decides he wants to turn his life around, is afraid about how to live sober.