Really life, give me a break

Mar 19, 2018 12:55 PM

thebigsofo

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121794

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2224

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75

English is not my first langue and if you wonder why im angry, look my older posts

So i had little break from work so i could go to snowboarding, that was awesome and i had alot of fun. Then last night i come to work and see that i get new co-worker, this young 20 old guy to who this sifth was one of the firsts. We had fun and he had alot of humor but also he can be serius. He went to check the bar that there wasnt anyone passed out or doing something stupid and i was getting this guy who has been ''fishing'' ( thats when you are almost falling asleep and head does this up and down motion). I went and say that its he's time to head to home and catch some sleep, He's answer was taking knife and stabbing me to the vest ( whic is luckly stabbing proof rated vest not bulled proof). I take him to the hold and handcuffed before taking him out whit my co-bouncer before police's comes and we fill the papers. If i hadnt had the vest on i mostlikely be a dead man becos he hit me to lung high. Just another sift to the bouncer life whic can turn to really bad in blink of a eye.

FP EDIT!!: Im supriced that i got to the front page!! Thank you all for this!

bouncer

work

work_stories

stabby_stabby

potato_juice_is_vodka

Can't speak English and wearing a stab-proof vest? Must be British.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Stabby stabby

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Best penguin I've seen here.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Great English by the way. Not perfect, but very understandable!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank God you had that vest or you would've been Finnish

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

damm you and your puns! xD

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

At least you were smart and wore protection.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

get stab

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I thankfully never needed a stab vest on my shifts, but I always had Kevlar Gloves handy. never know when someone gets pokey. glad your ok!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

thank you :D and i wear it becos you never know whats conna happen whit peoples and alcohol

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't quite know why, but your English is fucking adorable.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well thank you :D

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a drunk: thank you for your service.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Pretty good English. Some words are wrong. It should be suprise, not suprice

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Surprise

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just glad you're ok OP

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Always hate when I get stab

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuck I thought this was a story from a bartender until I got to the end.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Potato juice IS vodka. I get it now

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

where do you live that you need a "stab proof vest"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sounds like somebody hit the potato juice a little too hard. At least you have a great story now

8 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 1

a friend is wandering about that thing called potato juice

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Probably vodka.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh i got few other stories like when i was attacked by a excotic dancer whit 9 inch heels xD

8 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 0

Potato juice & amphetamine probably.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dude, your written English is better than most Americans. Good for you.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Waddaya mean, yer tellin us writt'n English be hard?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

thank you :D

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Cool story and you being armored finnish bouncer - Perkele.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Glad you had the equipment

8 years ago | Likes 109 Dislikes 0

I am really happy to i had them on me :D

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Sounds like a reasonable response. I don't know why you're upset OP

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i had shitty 9 months behinde me xD i was refering that , i have shared the stories about them in here before

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Are you Balki Bartokomous?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

On hyvä, että olet kunnossa!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It sounds like you are a security guard of some type I couldnt imagine being in that situation. In my 4 years Ive never had it happen

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's Finland in a bar. The entire country has perpetual seasonal depression

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im a bouncer :D

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@OP I know it is an error but I LOVE your error word supriced.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you :D

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't know what your first language is but for some reason I read this in my head with a Russian accent. My first language is Spanish.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

same

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

its decently close, im a Finnish :D so my first langue is drunk and second is finnish

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

I learned the language of Drunk at a very early age. I still go to the Church of The Liquor Store whenever I get a chance.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

we finns has a church of liquor store that is owned by goverment named alko, i worship it whit good whiskey and rum and vodka and moonshine

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Estudio Espanol 3 anos. Entiendo nada. Congrats at being bilingual everyone but me.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Escribes bien para no entender mucho.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fishing..? I’ve always called it bobbing for cock

8 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 1

With a name like that I bet you have

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I might start use that now xD

8 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Nodding off is the more socially acceptable term.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

We call it JFK-ing

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Pilkkiä" or "to ice fish"

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

In Finnish its "pilkkiminen" which means ice fishing, the rod makes a kind of bobbing motion https://youtu.be/H5_ETYwq-Us?t=156

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I always called it headbanging

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In army it was always bobbing for cock

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Trust me, I'm not wondering why you're angry. I would probably be too after getting stabbed

8 years ago | Likes 783 Dislikes 1

Stab proof vest for bouncer, non native English speaker. Sounds like Scotland

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

" Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That's bound to make anyone a mite ornery" -Malcolm Reynolds

8 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

I stabbed myself a decade ago and I'm still pissed at the motherfucker.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

i was in stabbed condition

8 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

Stable*, i have no idea how to not sound like an asshole, Im just trying to help with the english. What is your native language?

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

I will admit I laughed at 'stabbed condition.' im not a good person.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

To be fair, he was also in stabbed condition.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I thank you for your help

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

To truly make it a pun, it would be stab-le condition.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Your not a asshole :D thats how i learn, from my mistakes and my native langue is Finnish

8 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Pilkkiminen on englanniks "ice fishing". Ei sillä että se paremmin selittäis englantia puhuville mistä siinä on kyse.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Also, you kept mispelling "shift" as "sift". The /ʃ/ in english is almost always "sh".

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Pohjanmaalla ovimiehenä?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*you’re... sorry I had to

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where do you work that you need to wear a stab-proof vest? omg

8 years ago | Likes 365 Dislikes 0

When I was a correctional officer we had to wear them when we went on hospital transports. You couldn't wear them while you were working (1)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(2) in the prison though....where all the stabbing happened

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why not?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I can't remember. Some asinine reasone

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a bouncer? Literally Anywhere. (At least I would if I bounced for a living)

8 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 2

If i was a bouncer anywhere, I would be rocking a stab proof vest.

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Swedish people got a saying that translates to something like "As Finish as pulling a knife on the dancefloor".

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Wow. Not dancing in Finland.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Bah. We had such a lively tanssilava (wtf it is in English?) tradition. Lots of Koskenkorva behind the corner and tango, and fighting.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I had never heard of wearing a knife proof vest as a bouncer in the club, you must worry to be shot here in the US anywhere anyway. Sad.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Most bouncers in Stockholm wear knife-vests, some bullet-proof vests.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Knife store

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bouncer at the neighborhood daycare

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

At easter Finland

8 years ago | Likes 331 Dislikes 0

I fucking knew it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

en odottanukkaa et portsarilla noi iso väkivallan uhka

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oliko ees Joensuussa?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Must be the radioactive vodka pouring from the russia. Then again, someone hit my friend with axe in a bar here in west Finland years ago.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Jesus rises /and doesn't take names/

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sounds like Kuusamo

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mitä vittua, missä? Tä ei oo normaali Turussa

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Torille.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I lived in Turku for a year, never saw any one waving a knife around :(

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(And also "Easter"= the spring Christian holiday "eastern"= on the east side of , like near Russia)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ah, see, this is why you got stabbed. http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/SatW_Sister_Finland_5106.PNG

8 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 1

I think he drank all the pixels.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It was the only lone pic I could find

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How about... straight from the source? https://satwcomic.com/meet-my-sister

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No et sentää Mäntsälässä :)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ahh ok then thats fine

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Soooo...you caught that? Care to translate?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Finland is a stabby country. We swedes try to keep a healthy distance.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But what is Easter Finland? East of Finland? Is Easter a popular bar franchise in Finland?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Ayyy Suomi! I love Finland! Perkele! Haista Vittu!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The happiest nation on earth according to done study I can't be bothered you look up.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I read that Iceland was the happiest.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We are, for now. Jumped from the 5th place last year.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Which is an interesting statistic. Every Finn I’ve talked to is messed up in the head and a ball of bipolar mixed with sociopathy

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Lots of cultural norms hard to account for in those things. They really seem like a poor actual indicator.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wasn't Bhutan the happiest? Finland is the suicidiest

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

either way, yikes

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0