thebigsofo
121794
2224
75
English is not my first langue and if you wonder why im angry, look my older posts
So i had little break from work so i could go to snowboarding, that was awesome and i had alot of fun. Then last night i come to work and see that i get new co-worker, this young 20 old guy to who this sifth was one of the firsts. We had fun and he had alot of humor but also he can be serius. He went to check the bar that there wasnt anyone passed out or doing something stupid and i was getting this guy who has been ''fishing'' ( thats when you are almost falling asleep and head does this up and down motion). I went and say that its he's time to head to home and catch some sleep, He's answer was taking knife and stabbing me to the vest ( whic is luckly stabbing proof rated vest not bulled proof). I take him to the hold and handcuffed before taking him out whit my co-bouncer before police's comes and we fill the papers. If i hadnt had the vest on i mostlikely be a dead man becos he hit me to lung high. Just another sift to the bouncer life whic can turn to really bad in blink of a eye.
FP EDIT!!: Im supriced that i got to the front page!! Thank you all for this!
Seirra72
Can't speak English and wearing a stab-proof vest? Must be British.
jiminycreezmus
Stabby stabby
kooterfunk
Best penguin I've seen here.
leopardg
Great English by the way. Not perfect, but very understandable!
juansaltysnail
Thank God you had that vest or you would've been Finnish
thebigsofo
damm you and your puns! xD
TheOneTrueDave
Cole2999
At least you were smart and wore protection.
thefunnestguyatparties
get stab
ChuckTingleBattlesTheAssGoblinsofAuschwitz
No u
Tezz311
I thankfully never needed a stab vest on my shifts, but I always had Kevlar Gloves handy. never know when someone gets pokey. glad your ok!
thebigsofo
thank you :D and i wear it becos you never know whats conna happen whit peoples and alcohol
deltajesus
I don't quite know why, but your English is fucking adorable.
thebigsofo
Well thank you :D
laiskamato
As a drunk: thank you for your service.
MorsCertaHoraIncerta
Pretty good English. Some words are wrong. It should be suprise, not suprice
tdstar
Surprise
rambosmurf
Just glad you're ok OP
tumh
Always hate when I get stab
womenglowandmenchunder
Fuck I thought this was a story from a bartender until I got to the end.
BlackManedLion
Potato juice IS vodka. I get it now
whitson246
where do you live that you need a "stab proof vest"
EmotionalCripple
Sounds like somebody hit the potato juice a little too hard. At least you have a great story now
randompotayhtoah
a friend is wandering about that thing called potato juice
FlicktheClit69
Probably vodka.
thebigsofo
Oh i got few other stories like when i was attacked by a excotic dancer whit 9 inch heels xD
laiskamato
Potato juice & amphetamine probably.
KTSPANG
Dude, your written English is better than most Americans. Good for you.
cousteau
Waddaya mean, yer tellin us writt'n English be hard?
thebigsofo
thank you :D
koitk
Cool story and you being armored finnish bouncer - Perkele.
DotcoreJetkill
Glad you had the equipment
thebigsofo
I am really happy to i had them on me :D
UnhelpfulAnswers
Sounds like a reasonable response. I don't know why you're upset OP
thebigsofo
i had shitty 9 months behinde me xD i was refering that , i have shared the stories about them in here before
BeerandCats
Are you Balki Bartokomous?
flowercrab
On hyvä, että olet kunnossa!
XeononSolomon
It sounds like you are a security guard of some type I couldnt imagine being in that situation. In my 4 years Ive never had it happen
ITalkAboutGoats
It's Finland in a bar. The entire country has perpetual seasonal depression
thebigsofo
Im a bouncer :D
teknojo
@OP I know it is an error but I LOVE your error word supriced.
thebigsofo
Thank you :D
IDONTUSEMINDCONTROLANYMORE
I don't know what your first language is but for some reason I read this in my head with a Russian accent. My first language is Spanish.
Belckan
same
thebigsofo
its decently close, im a Finnish :D so my first langue is drunk and second is finnish
IDONTUSEMINDCONTROLANYMORE
I learned the language of Drunk at a very early age. I still go to the Church of The Liquor Store whenever I get a chance.
thebigsofo
we finns has a church of liquor store that is owned by goverment named alko, i worship it whit good whiskey and rum and vodka and moonshine
Pappy10299
Estudio Espanol 3 anos. Entiendo nada. Congrats at being bilingual everyone but me.
IDONTUSEMINDCONTROLANYMORE
Escribes bien para no entender mucho.
SexualSandwich
Fishing..? I’ve always called it bobbing for cock
afisch123
With a name like that I bet you have
SexualSandwich
thebigsofo
I might start use that now xD
JonRichardsonsDustMop
Nodding off is the more socially acceptable term.
101Medic
We call it JFK-ing
laiskamato
"Pilkkiä" or "to ice fish"
RepostFromLastWeek
In Finnish its "pilkkiminen" which means ice fishing, the rod makes a kind of bobbing motion https://youtu.be/H5_ETYwq-Us?t=156
concorde77
I always called it headbanging
dave262
In army it was always bobbing for cock
ImgurNeedsMoreSmartass
Trust me, I'm not wondering why you're angry. I would probably be too after getting stabbed
McBadGamer
Stab proof vest for bouncer, non native English speaker. Sounds like Scotland
noscarletcoat
" Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That's bound to make anyone a mite ornery" -Malcolm Reynolds
lookingOknaked
I stabbed myself a decade ago and I'm still pissed at the motherfucker.
thebigsofo
i was in stabbed condition
Throwmeawayboyz
Stable*, i have no idea how to not sound like an asshole, Im just trying to help with the english. What is your native language?
CyanidePill
I will admit I laughed at 'stabbed condition.' im not a good person.
ZeroBits
To be fair, he was also in stabbed condition.
thebigsofo
I thank you for your help
Throwmeawayboyz
To truly make it a pun, it would be stab-le condition.
thebigsofo
Your not a asshole :D thats how i learn, from my mistakes and my native langue is Finnish
RepostFromLastWeek
Pilkkiminen on englanniks "ice fishing". Ei sillä että se paremmin selittäis englantia puhuville mistä siinä on kyse.
Throwmeawayboyz
Also, you kept mispelling "shift" as "sift". The /ʃ/ in english is almost always "sh".
sometimesipostsockshere
Pohjanmaalla ovimiehenä?
TheConMane
*you’re... sorry I had to
jumpoff69
Where do you work that you need to wear a stab-proof vest? omg
RawketLawncher
When I was a correctional officer we had to wear them when we went on hospital transports. You couldn't wear them while you were working (1)
RawketLawncher
(2) in the prison though....where all the stabbing happened
superbadonkey
Why not?
RawketLawncher
I can't remember. Some asinine reasone
ColeBurns
As a bouncer? Literally Anywhere. (At least I would if I bounced for a living)
TormentedPenguin
If i was a bouncer anywhere, I would be rocking a stab proof vest.
PartyStone
Swedish people got a saying that translates to something like "As Finish as pulling a knife on the dancefloor".
goddessofgreen
Wow. Not dancing in Finland.
Haemaelaeinen
Bah. We had such a lively tanssilava (wtf it is in English?) tradition. Lots of Koskenkorva behind the corner and tango, and fighting.
goddessofgreen
I had never heard of wearing a knife proof vest as a bouncer in the club, you must worry to be shot here in the US anywhere anyway. Sad.
tdstar
Most bouncers in Stockholm wear knife-vests, some bullet-proof vests.
SonOfKazar
Knife store
thepicklebucket
Bouncer at the neighborhood daycare
thebigsofo
At easter Finland
laiskamato
I fucking knew it.
mantysaippua
en odottanukkaa et portsarilla noi iso väkivallan uhka
KikkiMaus
Oliko ees Joensuussa?
SaturnineCult
Must be the radioactive vodka pouring from the russia. Then again, someone hit my friend with axe in a bar here in west Finland years ago.
Lukapaka
Jesus rises /and doesn't take names/
OwlDoThis
Sounds like Kuusamo
lespritdelescargot
Mitä vittua, missä? Tä ei oo normaali Turussa
mekkuli
Torille.
QueenAmy
I lived in Turku for a year, never saw any one waving a knife around :(
QueenAmy
(And also "Easter"= the spring Christian holiday "eastern"= on the east side of , like near Russia)
ITalkAboutGoats
Ah, see, this is why you got stabbed. http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/SatW_Sister_Finland_5106.PNG
keikomoondragon
I think he drank all the pixels.
ITalkAboutGoats
It was the only lone pic I could find
lDanielHolm
How about... straight from the source? https://satwcomic.com/meet-my-sister
ShadyPesukarhu
No et sentää Mäntsälässä :)
Logan9Fingers
Ahh ok then thats fine
samrevem
Soooo...you caught that? Care to translate?
Logan9Fingers
Finland is a stabby country. We swedes try to keep a healthy distance.
samrevem
But what is Easter Finland? East of Finland? Is Easter a popular bar franchise in Finland?
GomezAtTheDebOfNight
Ayyy Suomi! I love Finland! Perkele! Haista Vittu!
OopsPoops
The happiest nation on earth according to done study I can't be bothered you look up.
Muttons1337
I read that Iceland was the happiest.
Haemaelaeinen
We are, for now. Jumped from the 5th place last year.
ThatDarnBandit
Which is an interesting statistic. Every Finn I’ve talked to is messed up in the head and a ball of bipolar mixed with sociopathy
retgarr
Lots of cultural norms hard to account for in those things. They really seem like a poor actual indicator.
QueenAmy
Wasn't Bhutan the happiest? Finland is the suicidiest
Barbatus
Actually; https://jakubmarian.com/suicide-rates-by-country-in-europe/
QueenAmy
either way, yikes