Skullwriter
53491
1721
18
EDIT: Wow, that was fast, thanks a lot everyone! Remember to win 3 Million to make... 3 Million! I do some reviews as a hobby, if you wanna check them, feel free to visit https://hypeimmune.wordpress.com/
EDIT2: It was brought to my attention that this is, in fact, a parody account on twitter (thus why the bond rate is insanely high)... I honestly couldn't tell because my last boss did say something of the sort.
ButteryBiscuitBass
Easy!
JerBearington
Who the fuck is offering 8% bonds? I Bonds have a rate of 4.28% and you can only purchase $15K worth per year
comacomacomacomachameleon
junk bonds maybe.
cdlong
If that math is actually correct, you'd need $750k to make the average US salary.
comacomacomacomachameleon
And it compounds! it's surprisingly easy to make money when you already have money.
cdlong
Well, if you're making an average salary, you're probably spending all that just living your life. But yeah.
Detacheddavid
Like they already said in Southpark :
"Look, Kenny, I always told you that one day, being poor was gonna catch up with you. Okay? But you didn't want to listen. You just kept on being poor, and now it's Halloween, and you don't have a cellphone." "Shouldn't have been poor, Kenny."
AlwaysInTheshadows
It's so easy... Why have I not been doing this.
Zetor
These people really live in their own world
Arbitrarynamehere
I think the advice is narrowly tailored to financially illiterate rich kids who had way too much money dropped in their laps but don't know what to do with it. From that perspective, the advice isn't terrible right now
Lampmonster
And are utterly convinced they're the only ones who really understand what's going on.
knotch2
And they pay someone to make a Treasury bond for them. So they get passive income. It's a fucking joke. These people are evil and ignore it.
SomeDetroitGuy
Comedians making jokes?
thatlamer
Who's the comedian? What's the joke?
homoerection
It’s a satire account, but the “joke” is actually just real life.
Sticklebrickk
"I'm just the common working man, me, my several houses, and my various vehicles I like to collect."
KoalaOnTheJuice
How to become a millionaire
Step 1: Own $3 million dollars
SomeDetroitGuy
Yes. That's literally the joke he's making.
thebigby
BaklavaWearingBalaclavaWhilePlayingBalalaikaOnBlackLava
The trick is to make your second million first. The second million is always easier.
Sypurist
The easiest way to become a millionaire is to start as a billionaire.
Darklinkinfinite
The Trump strategy to wealth, I see
areyouelonmusk
It's a small loan from your father
HighSorcerer
No he said -take- $3 million. Step 1 is obviously "Rob a bank".
Damacustas
No no no, then you’re taking from hard working bankers. Show some respect! Take it from a pension fund instead.
SuperIncoherentRantingMan
Or better yet, invest in health insurance firms and earn your money from the sick, dying, and desperate.
Isorikk
Reminds me of a video I watched about how to get an expensive car and get paid for it. He proceeded to invest the $120k that the vehicle would've cost into a 6% interest investment and financed the vehicle for 3%, setting up an automatic monthly payout from the account.
mikeatike
For cryptobros that's quite literal. They lose $2 million.
ErudiousRex
Infinite money glitch irl...
ItsWithAQ
"Your first million dollars is always the hardest to make. That's why you work on your 2nd million dollars." - Terminator man
SilentScreamsX
Why didn't I think of that?! It's so simple!
flashboredom
Sure, all those 8% treasury bonds lying around: https://www.barchart.com/economy/overview
hwatL4bloopy
By the way, the percentage is 4%, which is still 120,000 a year
hotaru251
so if you take out a 3M loan, do this, in 150 months (12.5yrs) you'll of made that 3million passively...ofc you'd owe more in interest but i mean you could say you have made 3M.
DontTazeMeBrah
"It has bot been easy for me... My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars"
IamAlbertPotato
Why not $4 million, or $5 million? Stop limiting yourself, aim high for greater success
Jaqdakloun
Can I do more than three million ? I mean, it makes sense to invest more than just a mere three million.
ReverseSyzygy
Even better, you can DOUBLE your passive income if you start with $6 million!
jlist
Anyone can be a millionaire, you open a Roth IRA account with any broker, find a way to add $6500 to the account every year, do that for 20 years or 25 years and you’ll certainly have $1 million. Only investing index funds though.
dontputitoutwithyourbootsted
alexcoldt
Okay, lets each take 3 million from this guy!
INeverReadTheTOS
The expression "You gotta spend money to make money" implies that the opposite is also true - that if you lack money, you can't make money.
yourlostcarkey
Or have some personal skills, knowledge or traits that you swap for that money.
ninjarabbit
That's the system they've intentionally built
witless1
ShiftingPattern
Sure you can, you just have to remember that time is also money and sell your literal life, not to mention your body, too.
Mythanris90
TheWombatStrikesAgain
Basically: The less you need money, the easier it is to get more.
Isorikk
If you're making money from passive income it means someone is losing money to pay you. This is how debt works, and it's a poor tax that we've just accepted as the way of things.
GandalfTheGhey
Kukabuksilaks
Givemeyourworst
Not only that. If you're stuck in a 10hr job making any wage, you're probably too tired in the day to do anything else than sleep or clean up, hence trapping you in a cycle of poverty or depending on a paycheck to live.
AkailAzul
It's expensive to be poor.
Ghostfox11
The inverse of a logical statement may or may not be equivalent to the original statement /s
nuttypro
Also goes with all great minds think alike, which I bring up every time someone mentions it, you never know which group you are in
Jarjarthejedi
That one's even simpler, as the original quote is "Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ."
nuttypro
Never knew the full thing thank you
thedudeman519
Add another one to the list of expressions who are commonly only half known. And the full expression would change the context to use it greatly
AsheLake
Our only capital is out labor. Hope you're healthy.
bigk001
ok, sounds fine, but how much would that $3 mil make from normal bank interest? 5%? (...'cause my bank pays 5% daily interest)
Rivalyn
$3,000,000 is more than half again the lifetime earnings of the average person...
YourFellowMan
Well shit, I’ve been undecided about what to do with that extra $3,000,000 I had sitting around but now….
jxgxl
It's time for post-capitalism.
RooGryphon
It's time for a balance between capitalism and socialism. I'm done with 10 corps running the show. It's our turn
chingadamadrex
3 million is the new million
TobiFuenke
Advice directly from the Elfenbein Tower.
SomeDetroitGuy
SOMEONE gets the joke.
Override9636
My friend gets the joke but wont tell me.....what is it?
brazzy42
"Elfenbein" is "ivory" in German
TobiFuenke
The „ivory tower“ is a figure of speech in German for people who look at societal problems from an elitist point of view.
TobiFuenke
Michael Ende used that metaphor in his book The Endless Story for the home of the Childlike Empress.
pompoikpoik
great way to invest in public infrastructure !
wait.... this is for the USA...
great way to invest in military projects
VibratingNipples
If i ever win the lottery
SomeDetroitGuy
Then you'll magically buy imaginary government bonds paying 8%?
VibratingNipples
i never said that. I would probably build my own house somewhere in Alaska or Canada
FlatPlutoSociety
I would invest my money into developing a time machine so that I could go back to October 1994 and buy T bonds at 8%.
Like follow and subscribe for more practical financial advice.
METROlD
A 20 year bond is going for 4.500% right now. I dont know what this 8% business is about. Maybe thats when interest rates were super low.
barnwolf
Not his fault if you can't buy a T-bond at 8%, but if you could...
whatspaulplayingtoday
It's a parody account, he's just taking the piss.
LoudBirb
He's making up the number for the joke, yeah, but... shit, I wouldn't say no to a free $11,000 a month, either. Now I just gotta get $3M. Anyone got a spare $3M lying around I could have? No?
MrBismarck
Just invest $3,000,000 right now to get the $11,000 a month and then in 23 years you'll have your own $3,000,000!
Xero999
Excalty
FlatPlutoSociety
T bonds haven't bee at 8% in almost 30 years. At this point, you can find plenty of high-yield savings accounts that beat T bonds.
AntennaDibb
yeah. the only reason people even go for T bonds now is for tax purposes. they're a hassle otherwise.
EccentricNimoy
How does one get one of those high yield accounts? Just talk to the bank?
zrolfs
Most brick and mortar banks and credit unions have abysmal yields unless you use a CD. Many online banks (e.g., Citi, Discover) are offering over 4%. Just Google "high yield savings account".
dcostanza1
Check out ally and ing.
FlatPlutoSociety
Lots of credit cards have HYSA options. I use American Express, and I think my current interest rate is like 4.6%. I know Discover and Chase offer similar accounts. The downside is that there are no physical bank locations, although that's much less of an issue today than it was 20 years ago.
johnspeck2
Tons of websites that will give you the latest rates for high yield savings, cds etc. I use popular direct and it’s still at 5.05.
Bricklemeyer
Cit has a 5.05% savings option if you maintain 5k, and another for 4.65% which has no minimum
SomeDetroitGuy
If you look at his Twitter, it's clearly a satire account. I mean, his name is "Elfenbein" for god's sake.
MrBismarck
Friday 13th March 2020 *was* a lucky day! I got sent home from the office because of covid and, four years later, I've never been back!
wargames
but nothing he is saying is untrue.
mikeatike
Except for an 8% treasury bond. It hasn't been that high since the 1980s. It's more like under 4.5%. It's about the worst way to invest, most mutual funds beat that easily.
Beleg7
Those just look like regular jokes, not satire?
kinarism
Yeah, there isn't anything untrue here. 8% is high but it's been there recently. 20k is .6% (8% / 12) of 3M.
NickRivieraMD
nothing in that is satire
Bollramm
I guess that's where he lives, in the ivory tower.
CJAW
That's his actual name
https://www.crossingwallstreet.com/about
tantallous
jokes on him. plenty of people are annoying pricks without the bitcoin or tesla stuff.
mikeatike
Skullwriter
Yeah, my last boss actually said something stupid like that.
OverpricedCrayon
I had a feeling it was a joke account, but whats Elfenbein supposed to mean? Its not a giveaway to me
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Bimmler
It means ivory in German. Literal translation is elf bone.
OverpricedCrayon
Honestly that sounds like a believable name for a German to me.
parkway
I uh.... still dont get it lol
Bimmler
Sorry that's all I got. I've been in Germany for a while so I now only deal in facts and not even funny ones.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
What does "eflenbein" supposed to mean?
Hoiloidl
For one, Elfenbein ist the german word for Ivory. Second, imho it's a play on jewish names in the financial world.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
That analysis makes sense, but the transliteration doesn't. "elf leg"? Regardless, I'll have to take that one up with the Germans
Hoiloidl
Bein in that case from the same root as Bone, elf from the greek elephas; so litterally elephant bone. Aren't languages a wonderful thing?
CJAW
Or just an actual name?
https://www.crossingwallstreet.com/about
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Is the Elf part or the bein part supposed to be Jewish? (not sarcasm)
Snooj
That's also not at all how Treasury Bonds word. First off, the rates are never that high. Secondly, you cash out at the end of the period so you'll have to wait months or years for the payout. So what you need is enough millions to buy one every month for a year, then collect the interest every month as they mature one month at a time and reinvest. With a modest sum of 36 million dollars you could collect the interest on one 3 million dollar 1-year bond every month.
flashboredom
"Bonds pay a fixed rate of interest every six months until they mature." https://www.treasurydirect.gov/marketable-securities/treasury-bonds/
Not years.
Snooj
Yeah but the longer you go the higher rate you get, generally. I was using a year as a baseline.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
That's why you can make a bond ladder: https://www.schwab.com/fixed-income/bond-ladders#:~:text=A%20bond%20ladder%20is%20a%20portfolio%20of%20individual%20bonds%20that,in%20new%20long%2Dterm%20bonds.
marsilies
“Since the I bond was first introduced in 1998, the interest rate has ranged from a low of 0% to a high (of) over 13%,” said Michael Schulman, chief investment officer of Running Point Capital Advisors. https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/investing/current-i-bonds-rates/
Snooj
I said "never" as in "we're never going to see rates that high again". High bond rates is another thing that ended with Regan.
marsilies
I bonds hit 9.62% in May 2022. https://www.freep.com/story/money/personal-finance/susan-tompor/2022/10/27/last-minute-deal-i-bonds/69596932007/
flashboredom
I bonds are very different from Treasury bonds. The latter pays fixed interest;the former changes every 6 months: https://www.treasurydirect.gov/savings-bonds/i-bonds/
Snooj
Yes but T-bills haven't seen a rate over 6% in decades. Here's another one of those fun charts you can use with the picture of Reagan's head pointing at where it all went south: https://www.macrotrends.net/2492/1-year-treasury-rate-yield-chart