More memes for Monday

Dec 18, 2023 2:42 PM

OctaviaMinor

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299442

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1198

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63

#3 if my son comes home with that I may just finally actually die laughing

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

#8 A skier from the Les Powtos sports team fell down a deep glacier cliff in La Grave, France in April 2022. You see him barely wedge his skis into the cliff face moments from falling into the deep crevice. The off-piste skiing group were on hand with ice screws, axes and rope to pull him out to safety. They said 'it was the longest 20 minutes of our lives'. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeDnigaLbfw

2 years ago | Likes 64 Dislikes 0

And many a pants were shat that day

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

#5 Darwin take the wheel.

2 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

#7 Who else thought they were about to see some messed-up ISIS video for a moment?

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

#4 If that goes wrong you don't just die, significant portions of your body will not make it to the funeral

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Appears to be in Del Mar, CA (the train looks like The Coaster. Anyone able to confirm?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 Now THAT is a security system!

2 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

A sssssssssssssecurity sssssystem, yesss.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 The cat's like, "This is gonna be entertaining..."

2 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

#3 "I don't think my eyebrows are bushy enough."
"Gotcha, fam."

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#4

2 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Now I want some unyown.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#1 What part of no sssssolisssitation didn’t you understand?

2 years ago | Likes 140 Dislikes 1

"We've been trying to reach you about your exxxxtended car warranty"

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

he probably doesn't speak in parseltongue

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yeah, he doesn’t look like a delivery man, or at least he wasn’t carrying any parsels.

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#1 The cat tried to warn him.

2 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I was NOT expecting that first one, and quite frankly neither was he…

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#4 I have to hand it to them, their stupidity is superpower grade.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Did the find the footage on his dead body?

2 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

He was with a group, so they got help.

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

#7 There are no humans on this planet I trust enough to lay down there. Even my clone and I've split a lot of wood so my aim is decent.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Who's going to tell the guy in the third video that he looks like an asshole?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I nominate the guy who doesn't number his comments.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Anyone remember the cheesey CGI car alarm ads from the 90s with "This Car is Protected by Viper" (now in house version)

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

And the TMBG song, I Can Hear You

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah lol

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Flamethrowers shoot jelly, not pure gas. It's too hot right at the nozzle and always prices it's smarter than the perpetrators

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Or brake cleaner

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wouldn't it be handy... if when you bend down... fire come out your butt? Hmmm... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK3jLYR-aC4

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 I'm still trying to figure out if it got him.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Looks like it might have gotten a little bit of the fabric of the hoodie, but not a true chomp. Looks like a North American / Eastern Racer which aren't venomous

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Rat snake, not a black racer. Still nonvenomous.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

An oddly specific yet helpful infographic. His scales don't look ridged but I am not a snakeologist

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The large blocky head and white areas of the snake in the video suggest rat snake, but I am not a professional snakeologist either. Black racers are more slender and like *really* smooth.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#6 is that a young Chef Jean-Pierre?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It is! His onyo video survived a channel reboot, and he's been cranking out new stuff for the past few years.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He cranks out new stuff every few days. I'm a big fan of him.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've been watching his new stuff! I've just not seen any of the younger stuff.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Number 1 is just not noticing, then a bunch of kind of a dumb people get hurt and almost die, and some skaters traumatize some train drivers.

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Oh, and it closes with someone half domesticating a vicious predator to seek food from humans.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#2 the guy is super lucky that sheet didn’t decapitate him.

2 years ago | Likes 114 Dislikes 1

Indeed. even a deep gash to the neck or leg from one of them could kill, if it hit an artery.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Inner monologue as I’m watching it: “Oh someone gon’ die”

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Looks like it happened on a full moon

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

During the Whittier earthquake a bunch of panels very much like this detached from the skylight of the quad of the building I worked in. They kind of swooped from side to side as they fell. They came down from 3 stories up. We ran for our lives.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#2 I've been playing too much Zelda. I thought, why not attach it with Ultra hand?

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

It looks like he attached it to a rocket by accident

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#1 Dude, your cat warned you. He’s staring straight at it and meowed at you as you walked up to it.

2 years ago | Likes 246 Dislikes 4

Nice catch. I didn’t notice the cat was staring at the snake.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

And #1 is why I live in a place where the air hurts my face.

2 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Rat snakes also live where the air hurts your face.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good for dealing with cold callers.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

That’s not a “watch out” meow that’s just a “hey” meow.

2 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 0

Hey meow hey meow don't dream it's over..

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"I could tell him about his impending doom. I have that power. But then again...I am a cat."

2 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

I feel like this might be a direct translation...lol

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

#4 that is not okay. Train drivers are humans too, and this might make them think they killed someone.

2 years ago | Likes 808 Dislikes 4

Something isn't adding up to me. how do the two guys grind on a rail that has a train on it? Pretty sure there's not space for both a train and a skateboard like that...

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think the trail rail and the lip of the incline are close but separate

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Train rail gdi I'm so sick of my phone sorry

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You should get a refund on that proofreading app

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

great...giving a underpaid train driver a trauma for the rest of his life... a real big brainer move

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

The train conductor driving ultimately quit because they were haunted by this accident. Not their fault and they'll never forget.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995_Fox_River_Grove_bus%E2%80%93train_collision?wprov=sfla1

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My cousin lost a leg making a video around running trains. He still had a successful wrapper career, but he's got a prosthetic and it wasn't a good time.

Don't fuck with trains, kids.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry, but those guys are fucking douche bags. The guy driving the train, and any passengers who saw there "tricks" were undully stressed.

2 years ago | Likes 134 Dislikes 2

Yeah I’ve been on a subway someone jumped in front of. I didn’t see it happen, just the screeching halt and wait while they didn’t let anyone off. Not pleasant. This was in Japan before they changed the law and suicide by train was more frequent than it is today. We used to even have a “late” ticket from the station that said “suicide by train” as reason. They changed the law later so the persons’ family would be fined for every minute each train was delayed and the rate dropped significantly

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

There have been signs in the past about people trying to commit suicide by train because the long term effects are felt by the engineers.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Also it might kill someone. Although to be fair only the stupid ones.

2 years ago | Likes 159 Dislikes 0

They are the only one participating

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, there are people in the train. They're just not voluntarily participating.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I volunteer for the Samaritans and we sometimes have to go to train stations after a suicide there. Most train drivers involved in an incident like that never return to work and it can have a big lasting affect on random bystanders as well

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

The feeling of being absolutely powerless to do anything about that, I can imagine that it would break just about anyone.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You never know what happens if the train driver activates the emergency brakes. Might kill innocent people if they fall in the train.

2 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

That is a really good point. Who dicks about with a train? It's literally made of steel and is moving.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yeah nobody considers the trauma train conductors must experience when accidents happen. People, cars, animals, whatever — the train conductor has a front row seat to the horror of anything being on the tracks.

2 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Engineer, brakeman yes. Conductor is usually back in the consist somewhere.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My first stint in a Vetrans psych ward, we had two train drivers in there with us, they had both been involved in suicide by train, neither were veterans, but there wasn't anywhere else they fit. Poor bastards were broken.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you for thinking of us.

2 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 1

27 years hit 4 vehicles, killed 1 and seriously injured others. Hit a car once, on the front end, spun it like a top. Literally, knocked the pants off that guy.

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Puh, thats a lot. Do you get any counseling in your Job if you need it?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fantastic way to lose a leg to. But agreed very sad the impact suicides have on train drivers

2 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 0

Every train driver has at least one...

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Or a near miss. Some quit after those.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My coworker's dad used to be a train driver. He retired after a near miss. It completely broke him. He works at a recycling station now.

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I am surprised the first one didn't call it in so the next train would pass in a much slower speed, or/and send soneome to make them stop. (I have no idea how train system works in that country)

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 4

Why am I being downvoted, that is what traindrivers do in Norway. A fellow train student when practise driving called in when they saw someone lurking by the bushes. Train leader put out a slow speed at that station and called my fellow student back up to thank them for the warning. Turned out the dude had stepped out into the tracks and the driver managed to stop. We do that for children by the tracks too, this def qualifies.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The two trains are going in opposite directions, so it can't be within mere minutes of each other. Might not even be the same day.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

We don't really have a way to tell time no. However, they could have passed on the next station. Here the light can turn green 40 ish seconds after the train has left a block. It could be days in between, or it could have been a few minutes. If the first train called it in, the train leader could have prevented any train from driving there until they're informed of the situation. All this depends on how this country's train system works, all countries are different.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You're overthinking this.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Also if they did get hit, there are the emergency services who have far more to be getting on with than wiping fuckwit juice of the rails and telling the fuckwit's family about it. All in all, a most shitty thing to find fun.

2 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

Railway sashimi is damn traumatizing to all the people involved. Bad way to get the dumb kids adrenaline pumping and damaging others' appetite.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Funny story, a buddy of mine used to be a conductor and he told me a story of how someone put in a call because a leg appeared to be by the tracks. After investigating it, it turned out to be a giant dildo.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Shows up to parent's house. "I am sorry, but your son died of being a fuckwit."

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

And that's a passenger train. Hundreds of people will get to see you smeared all over. And doing an emergency stop at that speed will hurt people.

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Genuine question, would they really do an emergency stop for that? Seems like if something happened to the dipshit skateboarder(s), a stop couldn't possibly help.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I duno, in this specific case I doubt the engineer would even notice, since they weren't in front of the train. And if they saw people fucking around near the tracks they would probably call it in.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tho if a passenger was looking out the window...

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I/U thought the gator thing was gonna go real bad right?

2 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 0

Yeah feeding wild gators is a very bad idea. We do not want them to associate humans with food.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I really don’t like the guy so yeah.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I couldn't even watch. What happened?

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

He pet the gator
The gator smiled

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Awes happened

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would bet my life you were lying hadn't I watched the video 😂😂😂

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh that's nice! I went back and watched it and you weren't even lying! Amazing. Thanks for that

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

incomplete haiku

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Give it time.

2 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

With the next group of awwing females.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah this reminds me of the dude who thought the bears were his friends until they…invited him to dinner

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Yeah, probably best we all just stop associating ourselves with food to the fucKING APEX PREDATORS.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Grizzly Man, had a grizzly death

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Nah. That's just a swamp puppy. Gators don't have much interest in something as large as a human, especially if they're well fed. And that one knows his handler. I wouldn't try this with a random one, but this has likely been going on since the gator was a baby.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I went on a swamp tour once. The guide fed the gators by tying a chicken to the end of a long pole. Seems like a much safer option.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I used to live near a swamp. We'd canoe and see them all over. They were never a problem. The only ones you had to worry about were the juveniles that would get under cars in new construction. They'd feel cornered if you approached and would snap. Game warden would have to come get them and take them further out.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The tiger that mauled Roy of Siegfried and Roy was in the same situation. It just takes one mistake by the person or the gator and that hand is gone.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Not the same situation. The cats are abused. The gators aren't.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1