Getting tired of dealing with this.....

After a car accident in 2015 that the police didn't expect anyone to walk away from (thanks texting 19 year old driver), I had to have spinal fusion done after fighting with insurance for 8 months to get the okay for. Nerve damage was so severe at this point though that doctor said some things might not come back right.

Pain is a constant "friend" now and can't get enough relief to get more than 4 hours sleep at night, can't "perform" in certain aspects in life anymore (ever tried playing pool with a rope?), and sometimes wish I hadn't survived the accident.
It is amazing how pain can drive you to the brink of madness.

I'm 46 and move like I'm 75, and was recently diagnosed with Neurogenic Atrophy attributed to damage caused in the accident. Doctor's don't see much hope in reversing the damage. Tops of my legs are roughly about 6" in diameter now and legs constantly try to give out on me.
Sorry didn't mean to bring the room down, just had to get this off my chest.
Thanks for letting me vent.