AnotherBearAccount
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When I was 9 my mom came out of the closet and my parents got a divorce (if you've seen my other posts, a touch of irony here).
For a newly single housewife with no career experience, she took care of me and my 2 brothers as best as she could. Things were hard sometimes but we got by, she kept the fridge full and I made sure my brother were fed. I don't blame her for how often we were alone, but it was hard for a 9-10 year old kid to take care of 4 and 5 year old brothers. I didn't want to abandon her but things just didn't feel right, I moved 8 hours away to stay with my dad and his new wife, and her daughter.
Right away, all my step mom would do was shit talk my mom. Call her name's, explain how she was lazy and entitled and how she was trying to ruin all of our lives. She would put me on a bus, by my self, to see her every once in awhile. It was horrible, and I would get there and my mom would be struggling like always, and I would look down on her. I was trained to hate being there, quickly I stopped wanting to see my own mother, and even quicker I wanted to hate her.
My father worked out of town, I would see him for a few hours every few days but he wasn't around much. I spent most of my time around my step mom, it took a toll. I started calling my own mother a whore, I didn't even know what it meant.
Fast forward and now I'm a young adult, I can see how fucked up this is and I leave. I went back to my moms and we pieced together our relationship, at first it was weird but now I love my mom as much as I always should have. I'm going to officiate my two moms wedding this summer, I've honored.
Fast forward another second to about a year ago. My step mom had been fighting cancer for about 3 years, I never went to see her, I barely even talked to my dad. I basically texted messages of support to him throughout the process but stayed far away.
It was like a wave passed over us when she died. My dad almost started seeing someone new almost immediately, he lost a ton of weight, and we started having family gathering. I was legitimately happy that she had died, relieved even. It brought me joy.
Narokh
While I am not sure if it is a good thing to feel happiness over anybody's death, no mater how horrible, relief certainly is justified.
GoatRodeo
Good. You’re free of her
notapreppie
My psychologist asked me if I'd go to my father's funeral when he dies. I said, "Yes, if only to see first hand that the asshole is dead."
dogmatix
Don't feel bad. I'm waiting on an uncle to die. I'm going to throw a fucking party for similar reasons
Manfredjinsinjin
Take care of yourself and do not look back. Abuse has no place in the present!
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
That said, @OP, please talk to a professional if you need to. And congrats to your dad about losing the dead weight, and the weight loss!
HMatti
Payback, bitch
BeerAndChips
Sounds a lot like how my mom used to talk about my dad. They stayed married.
Turbolibros
bartender19
Thank you for this. I'm going to hug my boyfriend right now for being the best stepdad to my kids.
LordRussell
Stay strong & let it make you stronger. I too have relaxed more since the passing of some toxic relatives. It's not wrong to feel this way.
sandstruk
You are free of her forever
HsuDoNihm
@OP Congrats and good riddance! ... and sorry about the abuse; that's no laughing matter.
loganlobo
Your dad was a dic. A parent should never allow a stranger to put down sons mom. Regardless if she had a nice butt. Did she?
DudeHoldMyCatnip
legit use of confession bear, +1
iameddieX
I’m happy she’s dead too.
Vaziera
My mother was as toxic as your stepmom. I loved her but was also relieved when she passed. Wish this personality flaw didn't exist.
Iton
I know it's extremely easy for me, or anybody else for that matter, to say but you should distance yourself from toxic people.
Autisticawkwardpenguin
My mom is a narcissist who capitalized on the fact that I was born with disabilities and didn’t have friends. I check the FL deathtoll often
NullifiedMatrixEntry
Some People make the world a better place, simply by leaving it as soon as possible.
Dragongirl7256
I am sorry that she died and may have suffered; I am not sorry you seem to be free of her toxic influence. You shouldn't be either.
sleepchamber5772
People....many of them are awful
Iton
Luckily far from all
Howareyounow
whatsthedealthough
Most of the times, it's because that's all they know. It's a fucked up neverending cicle...
alaest0r
New motto for 2020
ramshackleackle
I don't like seeing a stranger walk into a family and control it. Kick the fuckin stranger out.
HowMuchWoodCouldAWoodDuckDuckIfAWoodDuckCouldDuckWood
"I've never killed anyone but I have read certain obituaries with great satisfaction"
Turbolibros
DerpyPannycake
Most of the time i would say Fuck Cancer but this time i guess its yay Cancer?
Krakencrotch
@OP you could've at least called your step mom to tell her to die faster.
papertiger09
I feel bad for your mother.
FrijolesTheGreat
This is why we often leave our own families for chosen fam. I’m so sorry you dealt with that but I’m glad you’re free from harm.
1HumanBoy
My intention is not to engage in one ups-manship. My step mother sexually abused me and after many years I finally told my dad and they 1/2
1HumanBoy
2/2 stayed together anyways. I recently learned that she is sick and I feel really bad for not having sympathy. Families are hard. 3/2
1HumanBoy
Don’t kick your self for feeling totally rational emotions. Hit me up if you want to talk.