I might just be cynical

I spend a lot of time alone.
A lot of people call me only when they need something out of me (watch their dog, their house, their kid. Maybe need a ride.)

Others only want to hang out to vent to me about their tragic relationships.
Basically talk AT me.

A handful only hang out and do coke (ive been recovered for almost 4 years).

And the rest just want to go to the same bar, with the same people, having the same conversations.

So I spend a lot of time alone.
Doomscrolling, reading, driving through new places and exploring new sights.

But fuck man sometimes I just want a friend.

At least I have a ride or die. This is KoBe, and he goes everywhere with me.

And fuck a relationship.
Ive been physically attacked my every woman ive had a relationship with.
The men ive met have anger problems or only see me as a fetish.
I havent dated anyone since I transitioned.

So I treat myself with love. Cook for me, take myself out.

But fuck im tired of being alone.

Ok thanks for wasting your time reading this. Have a good night. =^.^=