youlikeonedollar
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Jul 7, 2016 11:00 PM
youlikeonedollar
453388
12049
468
Hyero
You're an ectomorph? Well I'm a vegan crossfitter.
InaraSerra
*sticks thumb in cake* I get two thumb fulls of this. Happy Birthday jeneane.
B4dL30
I'm a metamorph. My diet consists mostly of human flesh eaten by my werewolf form while my human form exercises by running away from hunters
bendoverandbraceyourself
FUCK OFF BROSCIENCE
arizonasecrets
I'm an Ecto-Cooler. As in, my body is upwards of 70% Hi-C Slimer Citrus.
itsallinyourhead
Initially read that as Ecto-Cooter. *reaches for glasses
SpacemanSpiff1000
Foreskindisabled
You do not need BCAAs for fat loss. Lots of this is untrue.
AlienPumaSpaceTrain
"Fist of vegetables," "thumb" of food? Who's thinking up these units of measure?
bullshit
The people who want the legless — sorry, differently-legged — to feel less excluded in the arena of measurement names.
yvetteshort
I don't know where I stand. I want to loose some weight. My metabolism is normal and most of my fat is around the belly. What can I do?
gorgosaurusrex
That sounds similar to me. I started working out 3 times a week, stopped drinking calories (soda, beer, etc) and prepped lunches at home (1)
gorgosaurusrex
I've gained quite a bit of muscle and lost 10 pounds in 5 months. I still drink beer on weekends but cutting most of it out and paying (2)
gorgosaurusrex
attention to the amount of calories I consume has been pretty easy. I also cut out all fast food and most junk food. (3)
wodkaknockers
Uhh...I'm none of those?
SuperKingTheBest1ofthe3
Why would someone take the time to make a complex graphic of these lies?
yvetteshort
This is not a lie. This works for some people and for others it may not. If you ask your doctor they will give you an advice of helthy foods
dracomageat
I'm an omnimorph. I eat what I want when I want and maintain a good level of neither fat nor thin but decent musculature underneath.
Thedogmatrix
You must be a teenager
dracomageat
24.
BreadyStinellis
Give it 5 years.
jonbristow
Soooo much bullshit
MrMooobs
The male is supposed to eat twice as much as female? Thought that teaching was thrown out ages ago
Phenome
Fast and slow metabolisms is a myth. There can be a difference, but its so small and so rare, its almost never the cause of obesity.
IAmThePermabannedAccountOfMyNameIsMrTorgue
Hey @OP, your first image is a crock of pseudoscientific bullshit.
bonbondon
Can we all just agree that this body-type stuff is utter bullshit?
ElBeardo2525
I'm a morphomorph, morph morph morph!
marszlrs
so much bullsh!t
wiztwas
Yes, what happened to sensible eating like 5 veg and fruit a day.
wiztwas
Yes, what happened to sensible eating like 5 veg and fruit a day.
Artio
What's BCAA?
Spunkdust
Branched chain amino acids. Eat plenty of protein & you won't need this. Most people like them because they're often loaded with caffeine.
Artio
Thx for answering my question!
theflyingnun
Why does it say that women are supposed to eat almost exactly half as much as what men are supposed to eat?
AcidOPhilus
Because that's extremely wrong and makes no sense :D
bullshit
Less than half, due to differences in average palm size. Pretty sure this post has some bullshit.
theflyingnun
There is no way I should be eating half as much as a man my size would eat. Maybe a tad less due to muscle mass differences, but HALF?!
TheseAreNotTheHobbitsYourLookingFor
Soooooooooooooooooo much misinformation it's unreal. Calories in need to be less than calories burned it's that simple. Stop with the morphs
IsThisHowIUsername
What the heck is BCAA or P+C srsly.
SilentCryptographer
BCAA is Branched Chain Amino Acids. Of the 20 amino acids necessary to humans, 3 are BCAAs. Supplementation *may* be useful on circumstance
IsThisHowIUsername
That was... actually helpful and nice. imgur needs more people like you, I totally expected that reply to be a witty insult.
SilentCryptographer
You're welcome! And thank you - I'm a student physiotherapist so helping + informing about exercise / a bit of nutrition is my thing!
SilentCryptographer
P+C is Protein+Carbohydrate, i.e, take a shake or drink that contains both, in the context of the graphic.
Spunkdust
This is all bullshit. Body type diets and training are not relevant. Workout for TDEE and from there either eat in a surplus or deficit.
Spunkdust
Work out your TDEE*
Jawsers
Good to see the metabolism myth is alive and well.
PureEss
Or. Find your tdee. Eat 500 less calories to lose, 500 more to bulk. pick ANY workout program, stick to it for 12-16 weeks religiously.
[deleted]
[deleted]
youmoron
And its important. Sure you can eat 500 more calories to gain. but if it is 100% twinkies, then you're not gaining muscle.
Thirstraffe
People unnecessarily complicate things.
PureEss
People are fucking lazy now. It's sad.
xaviouswolffe
That was seriously the best weight loss program I ever was a part of.
fitgirl1
Actually better 2keep eating normal cals for 1st 2 weeks of new training program. If body senses +work -food it may go into starvation mode
dropeleven
can you put that in a series of images that i'll never look at again?
fitgirl1
Body is good at conserving NRG! So don't cut calories especially when starting a new workout program! U will kill your metabolism
Saevitia
.
IMadeThisAccountJustToFavouriteBooty
.
zeshoopuf
Don't pick out ANY workout program, you can easily hurt yourself if you don't know exactly what you're doing, for example with crossfit.
Makardia
Yeah I just went to a doctor and was told my RMR shows my metabolism is shit. Have to eat under 1300 calories/day just to not gain weight.
thedarkviolet
maybe try to gain muscle weight? get swoll, it boosts the metabolism :P
FightMeMrTusk
Exercise more? Try ones that substantially raise BMR. swimming is a great start. Lifting too.
haltwenty13
500 more to bulk would result in 1lbs a week of weight gain. That would be at least 75% for a normal person.
FightMeMrTusk
Caveat to this: as you gain, daily reqs change. So what previously was a 500 cal bulk at 2500 cals a day, is now what you eat to maintain
ryry1237
Eat well, sleep well, exercise well and your body will take care of itself. Much easier said than done though.
CAPITALLETTERSAREMYFAVORITE
TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS... TDEE. PLEASE.
nycterelis
How do we find that
TheMaestro66
Asking the real questions
thecptawesome
Online calculators, put in your age, height, activity level etc. This is an estimate. Eat consistently for a few weeks tracking your cal...
thecptawesome
ories. If you're gaining weight, your TDEE is less than what you're eating. If you're losing weight, vice-versa
vanwesst
Search iifym calculator on Google
TheMountainIsBreathing
Don't use this site. They'll let you fill out the whole survey, then ask for e-mail address before they give you the results.
VaultBoyJr
.
MajesticKatieCat
TDEE?
whyiseverythingupsidedown
Total daily energy expenditure.
Meff52
Total daily energy expenditure, aka how many calories you burn on an average day
CallMeLlama
How does one find that?
thecptawesome
Once you get that estimate, track your food as much as you can and eat consistently. If you seem to be gaining weight, your TDEE is less...
thecptawesome
If you're losing weight, vice-versa
erelyes
Google a calculator. You'll need your age, weight, height, activity level. Bodyfat% can help too
IInfusion
.
zeshoopuf
Eating enough protein and getting enough nutrients is also important, especially for muscle gain and being able to work out properly.
wodkaknockers
500 calories less? I'd have to eat like 800 calories to lose weight then, isn't that too little?
missleadinginiformation
Depends on your sex and body size
thedarkviolet
yup. maybe try and gain some muscle weight, then cut the fat after your TDEE increases. OR you might already be fine now
wodkaknockers
I'm absolutely fine but gaining a little weight because of medication. Gaining muscle sounds good.
whyiseverythingupsidedown
This. I found out I wasn't eating enough, now have to take in between 4000-6000 calories during heavy training to maintain weight.
Noumenon72
As opposed to "not eating enough" maybe you are training too much?
Thedogmatrix
That's not a thing
Noumenon72
I was suggesting he was wasting his time exercising all day.
whyiseverythingupsidedown
Nope, that was ruled out very quickly - took it easy for a month and my TDEE was still insane.
Thedogmatrix
Classic. Also that's a lot of food
AcidOPhilus
Look at alan thralls 10000 calorie diet :D
Thedogmatrix
Alan thrall, Michael Phelps, the rock, most football players. I remember hearing about one dude who's BMR was 4000
AcidOPhilus
Holy shit. Fucking Mutants
whyiseverythingupsidedown
It is a metric fuck tonne of food, especially for someone that is only 5'9" and around 82kg (180lbs in freedom units). It's an effort.
Tylerm1
How much do you poop
northsouth23
Rugby player at 6'4" and 170lbs I eat as much as a thoroughbred race horse.
whyiseverythingupsidedown
170lbs is a bit light on for a 6'4" rugby player. Guessing you're a slippery speed winger? The rugby players I know at 6'+ are all 210lbs+.
myusernameisdifferentichangeitallthetimewhynotfuckreddit
tdee?
ilikehexagons
I'm a xenomorph. My acid-resistant exoskeleton keeps me looking sleek and trim. I get most of my exercise defending the hive.
TehSeksyManz
Friggin Hydralisk
sisterofthemoon
itsaraceihopeiwin
Favorite
DanglingNuts
The idea of bodily morphs is utterly debunked pseudoscience.
accountjustforcommenting
first comment in a while to make me lol for real
TigerShadowWave
You have the dna that we all dream of. Thr dark and mysterious type with an extra mouth on your tongue
MTVMovieAwardBestKisswinnerTobeyMaguire
Goddamnit. I lost it.
Nikki1236969
My husband and I were talking about these body types the other day and I thought about the same thing you did!
willquan
Username checks out
cleveranduniqueusername
But isn't a strict marine only diet kinda fattening though?
kirmes
we also eat settlers and scientists and dogs and Predators and other alien races, too. pretty healthy actually ...
Shadoweclipse13
Nah, the marines and lean and tough ;-D
ilikehexagons
Mom says we can't eat the marines, we have to glue them to the wall for the facehuggers.
curiousfoolish
In more developed colonies marines are prized meals. Due largely to their unusually high protein to fat/carb ratio. Great workout though.
williamth3great
JamBarn
Meeep meep meep meep
DrJeremyStone
Triggered the scanner...
craftycommando
Im an animorph. I can assume the shape of any animal i choose.
XenomorphZZ
How do you do fellow drone?
ragingcatfish
I typically +1 comments that make me smile or laugh inside my head- I actually performed a lol just now +1!
curiousfoolish
Good ethics.
JustBeCoolBruh
I nearly fell off of the toilet.