The 'One Might Make You Laugh' Lottery

Flash82

... and spend less time with the kids

4 hours ago |

2

0

alcamar

#8 gotta deflate these into rookie numbers

6 hours ago |

3

0

QuatermainFT

#7

1 hour ago |

2

0

Kbantar

I had to check. Ice skates as a basic item are much older than I thought. While full metal ones are younger. 5k years ago in Finland made of animal bone. Then primitive metal in the 13th/14th century. But "proper" steel ones in 1850s where you didn't need to use a pole to push off from.

2 hours ago |

2

0

johnson442

#2 Maybe "Little Princess" was probably sitting next to the guy during this exchange?

2 hours ago |

2

0

jeroen94704

#9 "You jar of expired mayonaise" is excellent. I'll steal that for use at an appropriate moment.

2 hours ago |

2

0

ornamentaal

2 hours ago |

5

0

zer0phucksgiv3n

#12 LeBron Royale

2 hours ago |

2

0

WackyWavingInflatableArmFlailingTubman

#9 the charisma and social awareness of a wet fart at a funeral.

13 minutes ago |

2

0

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

#4 https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cHFlamt3d3BlNTBocGhjMmhvb2IyZ2pkMHRkbzY4bHljM3p5dmc2ZiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/YRPBhd3vscg5Fxx1DQ/200w.webp

6 minutes ago |

2

0

tsooji

#3 not 40, yet. I have 4 cats. Turns out, I'm a little allergic to cats. Also, I'm clumsy, and kleenex boxes are easier to distribute than napkins or paper towels. Also, I'm lazy, and I dont want to have to get up to address minor issues.

1 hour ago |

2

0

TheNonSequiturFairy

#9 keep the name Willie Nelson out of your fucking mouth. I don’t give a shit if your mama gave you that name, you’re light years from deserving it.

If you’re desperate to do the country music thing, might I suggest calling yourself Johnny Rebel. At least he was open about being a racist POS.

1 hour ago |

2

0

CallMeCourierSix

#2 Red flags. Dating someone who hits you? Nope. Fuck that.

1 hour ago |

2

0

Terran81

#10 they mean does your baby avoid expressing needs or wants because it would be an inconvenience to you. The parents that think kids should be seen and not heard. The ones whose adult kids don’t talk to them anymore. 😜

2 hours ago |

4

1

CALAMOSCOPYJANE

Oh wow, that's incredibly accurate.

40 minutes ago |

1

0

HowlingRollercoaster2

I was a difficult baby, I had colic and cried a lot. I know this because my parents told me... They told me this while I was pregnant with my first, come to think of it. Interesting choice. Also liked to tell me how stubborn I was. We don't talk now, I guess I am still stubborn.

30 minutes ago |

2

0

MayMayz4DayzYo

#5 No. There’s a fucking patent to show the correct way. The only reason to do it the wrong way is it pets have access to the bathroom.

6 hours ago |

14

5

DemonDuJour

First phone patent showed it screwed to a wood base and welded to a wire. That doesn't mean we can't learn and grow.

6 hours ago |

10

1

DarkJaeger

Those were so much more fun to end calls with.

5 hours ago |

5

0

5v4297j9fj1

#14 was fun but be really fun if it had happened in real life.

Doesnt translate well though

5 hours ago |

3

0

damogen

#8 You can use that flawed logic with any competitive game: "why bother playing football?, I'll never be as good as Ronaldo"
Just play with people on your own level and have fun!

1 hour ago |

3

0

whyforetho

#4 Your nose tends to run more as you age, especially as your body starts experiencing significant hormonal changes, which for most adults is in middle age.

6 hours ago |

12

0