AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
37080
1507
87
Jul 16, 2016 5:14 AM
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
37080
1507
87
txmount
EMT humor: All bleeding eventually stops on its own. And all heart arrhythmias eventually straighten out naturally.
Bulletsandbandages44
I love being a paramedic. Imgur needs more EMS related humor.
Paramedic200
Thanks for these. Cheers from Florida
Kleriq
Amen brother! Just finished a 12h shift and you gave me a good chuckle
Monkofthepast
EMS, the most expensive taxi, ever. "Na man, I just need a ride home, thats why I called" BUUUURP
IamaWalrusInDisguise
DrHarleyFrancesQuinzel
Don't tell dispatch over the radio that your Pt "came down with a case of Rigor Mortis," the Supervisors tend to get mad...
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Just hit them with a dose of normasaline until vitals level. Normasaline works great for pain.
Kronocross11
So accurate, but this just makes me miss volunteering as an EMT so much more. I just wish I had more time in my life to do it now.
HebaruSan
Does anyone know whether cats like hot dogs? I need to know for a meme.
wannagohome
this post: accurate & highly enjoyable
FireFighterPuddin
Loving the username
Chaos2183
You're... an... ammmmmbbuuuullance driver
zarikimbo
ESTOY POOPIN. Omfg, I was hit with a surprise fit of giggles. For some reason this version is muy funnier.
FireFighterPuddin
I just got off a night ambo shift. I am currently giggling like a girl in my local ihop and people are staring. God I love our kind of crazy
noTyrone
pupulewailua
The 19y.o who sneezed and felt paralyzed, that may be a symptom known as Lhermitte's sign. Shock like feelings down body that may feel 1/2
pupulewailua
Similar to the pins n needles sensation when your hand falls asleep and may be confused as paralysis if one becomes afraid to move after it.
Corrodias
I'll upvote this; regardless of how likely it is, I want to know more about why that picture was supposed to be funny. It sounds terrifying.
ShamusMcWright
#1 is Kai Winn
RespiratoryRandy
I'm an RT, loved this.
DrunkShakespeare
My mom was an EMT for 20 years, but I still have no idea how you guys do it
TyrannusEquus
So many of these apply to the law side. I love it.
ThatOneGuyThatDidThatThingWithThosePeople
LMFAO!! I love this.
Paramedic200
I have a repeat hand sanitizer drinker. The ER staff puts him in a perp room to keep him away from the hand cleaner stations.
thatFamilyMan
That last one... I hate that shit and as a cop it's the only time I can't pull someone over.
EmiBunny0615
Is it not common sense to pull over or get out of the way of a police car/ambulance/firetruck with its sirens on? Thats what I was taught.
infomuffin
Perhaps not, but it is the law in the US
anjunaspeak23
How many drunks actually drank the hand sanitizer?
waltsuffersfromRBF
According to unintelligent Privates, quite a few in Basic Training.
wannagohome
one may never know. i once had an alcoholic pt who said he fell onto a bottle of cologne that went up his nose and "accidentally" snorted it
JaredKidd
Wait.... You have to pay for ambulances? Dear lord..... That's barbaric.
Figuritot
Worth noting, depends on the company. My company's bill starts at $3000.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Whenever we get a patient transfer the patients insurance company pays a $3,000 minimum no matter how short the trip.
JaredKidd
ಠ_ಠ .....But it's an emergency service....
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Transfers are considered non emergency. We're either taking a PT to their house, to a doctor, or to another facility for long term care.
Bulletsandbandages44
Yeah it's usually around at least $1000 per ambulance ride. Usually charges to the insurance. People still call for stupid stuff though.
JaredKidd
It's an emergency service.... It should be free. (Maybe with fines for misuse)
umpbumpfizz
Welcome to America ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bulletsandbandages44
I agree, but it's medical transport. And anything medical in America is expensive as fuck. I'd love for ambulances to be free.
srsfaceI8C
Anyone else ever watch the show "Sirens"? I was really sad when it got cancelled. Great show, great EMT humor.
SomeOldDude
I'm a cop. I hate the "suicidal" calls and the guys says first thing, they need to take me to "X" which is 5 ERs away. ...
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
BUT THEY GIVE ME PERCOCET AT THAT HOSPITAL! I DEMAND YOU TAKE ME THERE NOW!! I DON'T WANT YOUR SHITTY FUCKING IBUPROFEN GODDAMNIT.
SomeOldDude
"Nah, they'll take you to the closest." They get pissed because they know the jig is up. (They're looking for a free ride.)
SomeOldDude
"Free" as in they get charged, but they never pay. EMS has to take them regardless. The fight is over where.
spiderqueendemon
Knowing how poorly paid EMTs are, is it appropriate to tip them after they save you? I mean, money might be problematic with their bosses, 1
spiderqueendemon
but perhaps a nice thank-you note with some generous restaurant or shopping giftcards would be good? It's not like they see any of the bill.
DixieForever
So what do balls sound like?
MtDewJitsu
Asking the important questions.
CobaltLion
They sound like a doctor saying "What the hell are you doing?" It's crazy. You should try it.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Oddly enough, they sound kinda like a heart. Lots of whooshing and blood pumping. I mean, how the hell would I know.
TheAwfulNene
There's no need to go-nads about it
LosMinefield
As a male nurse, I know you know
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Let that be our little secret. It's even worse on an ultrasound. SHWOOOOSHH SQROOOOSHHH
bendap
I admire anyone that can work as an EMT. Underpaid, over-stressed, poor diet, unhealthy sleep schedules and above all, underappreciated.
Nimix21
I start training in the fall, and the group I'm gonna work with is all volunteers.
Gutso
EMT here. EMS/Fire are super appreciated. The cops are the unsung heroes. They keep everyone safe and still soak all the hate.
HighrockTendales
Under appreciated? I don't know anybody who doesn't think paramedics are fucking heroes
IronicUsername
I don't think I could do their job for triple the pay. EMTs are awesome.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
"But you get sleep pay." And one of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth. Sleep pay = Pay while getting 2 hours of sleep in a 72
BiteTheHandsThatThieve
I thought about it, for a few seconds. Then I realized I would not be able to handle it. I've survived crazy shit, but that's too much.
zamielvanweber
The "no one multiplies" rule is so true. NY EMT and if a kid is born while I am responsible I am on the hook for 18 years. 1/2
zamielvanweber
Age 15 that kid is diagnosed with anything parents can sue me if they claim I screwed up the delivery. Odds are I won't have insurance then.
ControlZee
What the actual hell?
SeaHutch
What do you do to stop the baby from coming out?
zamielvanweber
I am legally not allowed to. The goal is to get them to the hospital FAST and hope for the best.
vilecomfort
This makes absolutely no sense!
mrDword
I'm a NY medic and I have never heard this before
zamielvanweber
Bad luck? It is drilled into me every time I renew my license. Every. Single. Time. Different teachers, same story.
mrDword
The poor diet is completely avoidable, just bring your lunch and dinner. I always rag on my partners for getting fast food. Rest is true
doobiedoobiedoobiedoo
Agree completely, diet is a choice, as well as physical exercise. I bring my meals to keep them reasonable
internetpotato
Meh but sometimes I'm lazy and just want McDonald's
mrDword
Well then don't complain when you can't see your pecker without a mirror
ruthbaderginsburg
Then that's your fault, not the job's doing
internetpotato
True. It's more of a treat. That shit is expensive these days
internetpotato
Plus I've given my buddies permission to shoot me if I become one of those 400 lb medics
choicebutts2
What is #9?
Peteonemillionandone
The bottom of my washing machine every time I do laundry.
choicebutts2
LOL
internetpotato
Gloves in a washer. My company only has shitty grey gloves so I snag a handful of gloves from the ER and keep em in my pocket. You forget
JohnnySpringBreak
pair of gloves in a washer
iamthisguy247
Baby don't hurt me..
internetpotato
About them and they end up in the wash
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
It happens every time I was clothes, it's from leaving gloves in your back pocket and forgetting about them.
cantbeasadmuffin
Isn't that unsanitary to keep gloves in your pocket? I'm a CNA while in in med school and we aren't allowed to do that because it will
cantbeasadmuffin
Contaminate the patients since we go from place to place with the gloves in our pocket.
thimple
They're clean, extra gloves for when you tear one while away from the truck.
cantbeasadmuffin
I know they're "clean" but I meant carrying them from place to place may contaminate them. That's what the nurses are told anyway
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
There are worse things they can come in contact with.
cantbeasadmuffin
So true
choicebutts2
Oh! It's a washing machine. I wondered what was so special about some gloves in a trash can with a jug of milk.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Lmao
RageBaneblade
What in the hell kind of freaky industrial-sized jugs of milk are you buying? And who puts a milk jug in the trash? Recycle that shit!
IronicUsername
The recycling bin at my apartment is like 10 steps further than the dumpster so....
choicebutts2
pacey5714
1:If you have some time and are will, I have a few questions. I have seriously been considering becoming a EMT but haven't yet.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Ask away, if I can't answer your questions then there's someone here who can.
pacey5714
2:I'm trying to save up at my shitty retail job. Is there anything perspective EMT should know before becoming one? I do appreciate any help
FireFighterPuddin
It's the job you'll forever love and always hate. Make sure your significant other can handle the time being apart. Mine is currently (1/2)
AnnaKareninanananananaBatman
Definitely volunteer first. By me there are EMT schools that will let you attend for free if you're a volunteer.
InboxMeYourSpacePics
If you have the time, try volunteering before making the career switch. Most volunteer services pay for your class. See if you like it first
FireFighterPuddin
(4/4) but I can live with that. Long nights bad calls and some good. Just know that you'll be there on somebody's worst day. Love this life.
bendap
Make sure to do some ride alongs if you havent already. They will give you the best window on life as an EMT.
FireFighterPuddin
(3/4) but I can say this. I never go home thinking I didn't make a difference, even in my worst call I know I tried my best and I can live
FireFighterPuddin
(2/2) currently sleeping and since I just got off shift I'm at ihop. Also it's not for everyone you'll see stuff of nightmares (2/3)