So you wanna work in childcare?

Mum sends her child in with a lunchbox packed with butter. You know those little fake butter single serves? Yeah them. About 15 of them. "He won't eat anything else, so I think he's deficient in good fats.. He needs the fat at the moment". Needless to say I fed the kid out of my own pocket.. he ate all the food.

So I had a parent come in to meet me, have a look around, etc. She was super lovely and kind, she loved everything about the daycare, her kid was an angel, they were literally the perfect family. They said they'd like to enroll. Then she said "Oh, there's just one thing though.. when he's in care ill need you to turn your phone off, and your wifi because she gets ADHD tendencies when she's exposed to radiation. Same with the microwave.."
Dude. I use the wifi for all my paperwork. The phone to be in contact with parents and update them and especially for emergencies. And the microwave for heating food. That ended up being a no..

We get this aaall the time. So child and mum come in as usual. I usually ask how everyone's been. Mum says child's doing really well. Child says 'I'm ok but I vomited in my sleep last night'. Mum awkwardly says 'Ha.. she woke up from a nightmare that she was sick!'
Day goes on, child mentions mumgave her panadol this morning. This pisses me off to no end and happens on a daily basis. Parents dose sick kid up before coming in, child arrives bright eyed and happy with no mention of previous sickness, cue 4 hours when it wears off and bam, child down. Along with the rest of the kids and staff who have been exposed all day. Does your child get sick at daycare? You can thank these type of people.

Anyway, next the kid says she vomited so many times last night. Suspicions hitting. Cue the 4 hours later. PROJECTILE VOMIT ERRRYWHERE x3. Thanks for the gastro guys, it's especially appreciated for spreading it to a grandparent who ended up in hospital and a newborn, as well as the rest of the kids.

Constantly late with payments. Like, this is my income, I care for your kids, I need my money. It's an equal trade.

So this one time she puts her best puppy dog eyes on and says she needs another week to get the money together, as usual. Hear her chatting with a parent about how she got her boobs done last week. I also have her on Facebook and she's always out at breakfast, getting her hair and nails done etc.

I will never forget this. I had a parent who was preeetty alternative. Her child has 'everything wrong with him' (he's perfectly healthy) so they're always trying new things. Anyway she brings in a bottle with aluminum foil on top. She says it's salt water (but a special salt, from somewhere in the ocean') and she says you need to put the foil on top, tip the bottle upside down three times (not shake it) and it'll charge the water which he,ps his digestive system.
Im no scientist but I'm pretty sure if you drink straight salt water you're gunna be on the toilet. I didn't do the foil thing, but mum came in the next day and said how great his bowels have been..k.

We'd all done a massive day at work. Home time comes and the poor kid hasn't been picked up. We called everywhere, all emergency contacts, and was down to the police as we couldn't get in contact with anyone. Cops find mum playing pokies. Apparently she didn't realize it was 9pm (we close at 6.30).

ALL THE FRIGGING TIME. Parents send in clearly unwell child. "It's just teething" they say. High temps, clammy, sore belly, vomit, miserable, exhausted.. its teething. It's always teething. Who knew teething was contagious? Me neither but we always end up sick from it.
I'm gentle with parents, especially new parents, but if your child is unwell, and even if it's genuinely teething, keep them home! They want their parents, not a busy and noisy environment.

I can't really expand on this. Feeling extra valued rn.

Yeah so.. mum comes in.. has a tiny chat.. and starts feeling my house. Like ru bing her hands on photo frames, random decor, candles, the tv. She says "I hope you don't find this rude, I just can tell a person better by the vibe I get from their belongings than talking or looking at them" apparently she liked my vibe but I didn't take them on. Next she'll be touching the kids t see if they're a suitable friend.

Anyway, thanks guys for reading. I have a million and one stories so let me know if you want more. I've worked in centres but most of these are from my family daycare, we get the interesting ones here.