Sliding up between those cheeks!

Get your cooking bra on and get ready for an adventure! We're beatin' cheeks tonight and making Cachete de Res.

3lbs/1.4kg beef cheeks
4 large carrots, peeled and quartered
1large sweet onion, sliced
Olive oil, or preferred pan lube
Salt/pepper/garlic to taste
2 cups/475mL dry red wine
2 cups/475mL tomato sauce

And I was being literal. We're about to braise up some beef cheeks in a damn good (very cheap) wine sauce.
Preheat a frying pan with a little oil, and make sure your meat is room-temp before you start browning it.

Get 4 carrots and peel them sumbitches.

Get 1 big onion.

You'll need 2 cups of dry red wine. That's about 475 world-units. (mL)

Salt.

Pepper.

Garlic. I'm a dork and didn't notice that this was garlic SALT until posting. Use plain old garlic, or 2-3 fresh cloves if you have it.

Get all those cheeks, and plate them up. Pat them down and get ready to brown the dick off of them.

Gratuitously salt and pepper your cheeks, and give your sausage tweezers a test click, make sure they work.

I'm using the Instant pot, but a deep pan, or dutch oven works, too. Just press the "saute" button, grease it up, and wait until it's hotter than Satans taint. Throw the cheeks in one at a time, DO NOT CROWD YA MEAT. Y'all know that crowding can really mess up good cheeks.

Grab a drink while you get those cheeks toasty.

Go back to the cutting board, grab your carrots and onion.

Cut the carrots until they're "average". Ya know, not too big. Not too small. They've got to fit in with the cheeks.

Slice up that organic tear-bomb

Grab your wine, and measure out 2 cups, or 475 mL.

If there's any left, take it straight to the brain.

Keep browning the beef, one piece at a time. This was the most time consuming part, because I couldn't leave the meat unsupervised.

Drink and brown, drink and brown.

Look at that crust! You want the pan to form a really good frond, so don't be afraid to brown the tits off of this cow.

Keep browning, at this point, we see that sexy frond developing on the bottom.

All of your glorious beef. No, it still isn't ready.

Grab your wine, grab a whisk, and deglaze the dick out of that pan.

Get frisky with the whisk.

Add 1 can tomato sauce. That's 15 oz, or about 475 mL!

Whisk me away!

Add your beef back in and make sure its under the sauce.

Smother your cheeks in onions and carrots

Sprinkle with the garlic, and seal the instant pot.
If you're using a dutch oven, bake for 3 hours at 300 freedoms.
If you're using a slow cooker, set it on low, and leave it until it is fork tender.

If you're using this dude, lock the lid and hit the "meat/stew" button. It will do the rest.

LOOK at these gloriously braised cheeks.

We started forking it, and it fell apart.

Finally done! The instant pot took about 2.5 hours, a slow cooker should take maybe 6, and a dutch oven should take about 3.

All dressed with our veggies! See those taters? Those are a sidequest, and I'm going to post that soon, too.
Tossed the cheeks on top of zucchini noodles, added avocado and fresh tomatoes on top. Mmm girl!

Get up in my cheeks with that sauce! These things are beefy and tender as hell, and we forked them apart. No knives needed at all. The sauce is rich and a bit wine-y.

BOOP! The angry dumpling sends her regards.