Learning about Belgium, with the country's newest, biggest fan

I recently had cause to become a big fan of Belgium (https://imgur.com/gallery/E3JwRum) but if you'd asked me a few weeks ago what I knew about the country, it would have been something like

"Well uh... the waffles of course... and... it's near France and Germany... right?"

So come along with this clueless American while I learn a little about my new favorite country where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

^ Actual photo of OP on the way to learn about Belgium ^

The first weird thing I found was that there's a King AND multiple parliamentary governments, but sometimes there's no national government at all, and that's apparently not a big deal.

https://www.brusselstimes.com/124777/belgium-breaks-own-record-for-longest-period-without-government

Next - Let's say for the sake of argument that you're a vampire. You've just bought your first velvet cloak and finally saved up enough for a down payment on that countryside castle you've always dreamed about. So - you head off to Transylvania, right?

Nope. You go to Belgium. Most castles out of anyone anywhere.

Every other country in the world needs to step up their castle game.

Bigass taxes, but they fund the healthcare system, education, and social security.

Based on the memes I came across while researching this, it kinda seems like maybe a little more of that should go to roads? Belgians, any thoughts on this?

They really like statues of things peeing on things. Not just the famous Mannekin Pis pictured above, but there's a girl version called Jeanneke Pis (which I'm not posting here for multiple reasons) and a dog one as well called Zinneke Pis.

And then there's the chocolate

I've learned that you do not argue with a Belgian about chocolate.

Just don't.

And of course the beer. It seems that there are over 1,000 different varieties of beer brewed in Belgium, and EACH ONE HAS ITS OWN GLASS.

That one on the bottom, third from the right - I believe that's called the Walter White Ale.

They have a beer pipeline, guys. A beer pipeline.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jul/08/bruges-pipe-dream-a-reality-beer-pipeline

Also fries. It seems they made fries first. One article I encountered said that it wasn't so much about France taking claim, more about American soldiers buying them from French-speaking people (in and around Belgium) and dubbing them French Fries as a result. I dunno. Wasn't there.

Speaking of which, it's an extremely multilingual country. The data I found says that about 10% are FULLY bilingual or more, with most people even in the single-language regions speaking at least a little of another.

Things I'll just brush over because this post got long:

* Belgium was the second country in the world to legalize gay marriage
* They invented the Smurfs and the Saxophone (though I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that there was debate about the saxophone)
* Many public bathrooms are paid access only. That's a little weird, guys.
* Sadly, Belgium has its share of racism/Islamophobia/far-right extremism

(Disclaimer: I deliberately didn't touch on Belgian war history and such, as I don't yet feel qualified to explain or debate that)