Ayxu22
488611
11231
273
I'm not even kidding, I'm farting like one or two huge, rampant, rippling farts like every minute, send help. I cannot comprehend how much I am farting out of my ass right now, I feel sick!
Never again will I use yoghurt drinks to fill up a bowl of bran. I'm sorry, lord am I sorry.
Update on my well being as you were so sympathetic - My farts have subsided to one every 20-30 mins, but these are not to be trusted. Possible shart. Trust no one.
raisinjones
I put strawberry kefir on my granola all the time where are my amazing farts?
ABadManWithABeard
I've seen it a million times, but in this one case I think someone should actually listen and send help. Not me, right, but someone. +1
ourari
Climate change is about to speed up.
Cobes
I fucking love you
ourari
♥
Mengimal
Your digestive system is so populated now that it has become like the opening scene in Bladerunner
xochiluvr
Soundtrack by Vangelis!
MrMantastic
"Don't get me involved in your gastastrophe." -God
IfYouDontLikeItSuckMyDick
* asstastrophe?
xJohnn
Well, this settles my plans for the weekend. Time to terrorize the gf with my ass cannon
tbell84
We can't digest cellulose, the bacteria in our gut do though. You ate a bowl of cellulose drenched in bacteria. I salute you.
Kind0ne
Hey look, It's OP!
hbunny
That was a risky click
MP050617
Alright please explain.
Kind0ne
It's supposed to be a fart as seen by infrared but it's actually a spray can I believe.
NotaLizardmen
But for OP, it really is fart.
allthenamesaregone
Correct, else it'd be a lighter colour indicating a higher temperature.
MP050617
That is exactly what was confusing me
CobraDBlade
Record it, auto tune it, top Billboard Top 100.
welluhwhatdoyouwantmetosay
Billions of bacteria cried out in happiness within your gut.
Omny
[FARTING INTENSIFIES]
GrizzlyWicks
I just blew in from the windy city
AddictedToCycling
I feel like you missed an opportunity by not titling this "Probiotic tip"
SlutAtNight
OMFG I'M LAUGHING MY DAMN HEAD OFF
Ayxu22
Glad I've managed to shine a nicer light on my reality. I'll be laughing about it soon enough, just .. not yet.
SlutAtNight
Well, you have given many people a bit ole smile, so even out of darkness, there is light.
Ayxu22
and more gas.
SlutAtNight
HAHA and, yes, more gas
riversonglovestardisblue
I snorted so hard I scared both my dog and cats!
SlutAtNight
They alright?
balkolicious
I'm next to my wife in bed trying to keep the convulsing laughter contained!
missladymondegreen
me, too! i think i'm done, then i have another fit of titters! (I SAID "TITTERS".)
SlutAtNight
TITTERS OMFG
bigdonkey
I'm crying from laughing so hard
verlonica
Me too. Omg.
QuadrilateralEnix
I laughed so hard I actually farted :)
dontmindthescreaming
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
ShakeyBox
@fartharder
fartharder
Do eet!
thereisnolifeiknowtocomparewithpureimagination
I'm sorry for your pain, OP, but this is really hilarious
Kosmonavt
I drink cartons of chocolate soy milk every couple of days. I farted other day and it came out like rapid gunfire. My ass is a machine.
Corona688
I suspect the only true word in 'chocolate soy milk' is the 'soy'.
HPWombat
I thought FiberOne breakfast bars would be perfect to eat on my way to the airport and waiting for the plane. Most. Flatulent. Flight. Ever.
atomicthumbs
You *fucker*
CyriousLordofDerp
I made a similar mistake but with the Chocolate bars instead. Holy god was i ripping some potent ones.
CaptainKarlisle
The changing air pressure can't have helped.
terbril
At least you increased the buoyancy enough to save the plane some fuel.
RoboLuddite
The gas inside is as dense or more dense than the gas they're displacing so they're actually less buoyant. They'd be more buoyant in water!
ConfederacyOfDunces
I am pretty sure I sat directly behind you.
bannerz
I call dibs on flatulence flight as a band name
ChocolateFrostedButts
I made that mistake on an international flight from the US to the Netherlands. Most painful gas ever. it was awful.
CaptSumTingWong
It's due to the chicory root extract (not the fiber), avoid at all costs
UDBV
I ran out of milk one christmas season and used eggnog as a replacement, horrible decision. Trust me on this.
isittoomuchtohopethismesscleansitselfup
In high school, I literally cleared a room one morning after drinking two glasses of egg nog
Alaskabound
Get ahold of Kylecorn, he can help plug you if nothing else
GodEmperorOfImgur
@Kylecorn pls
TheOneTrueGosh
Had constipation bad once, took a laxative, waited about 1 hour - nothing happened so I took another, turned the box over and read on (1/2)
TheOneTrueGosh
The back of the box "take 1 and wait 5-6 hours". I shat my poor little heart out every 10 minutes once they hit, worst 24 hours of my life.
disenchantedgrl
I would have run to the hospital the moment i realized my mistake.
noveltyanomaly
i call them the shit chills. they kick in around hour 7.
angyaVU
How do you take medicine without reading what it's for and how much of it you're supposed to take?This baffles me.
Evyreid
Hey OP, you know what would make you feel better? Sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.
ZizzyDizzyMC
@Evyreid LMAO
LePiggy
My friend bought a 5lb bag for his family on Christmas. When he came back a few hours later, the bag was gone and every toilet was occupied.
chemistsdoitintesttubes
itsybitsyspider
alazyamerican
Woa Satan! You have just created a new lever of hell. Congratulations,
LostInSpates
Now, pull it, Kronk!
Thefacts
YES.
dubbelu
This mother fucker right here.
Rothinator
Cruel
eruval82
As a lyft driver, I wanna keep a bowl and give em to pax. Omg >_<
TexanScrubLord
omg i remember that amazon reviews those were fucking hilarious to read
Thefacts
Those are honestly still one of my favorite things on the Internet.
Tails143
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/reviews/B008JELLCA/ref=mw_dp_cr/186-7095920-2863347
PunchViolenceInTheFace
Wow
SometimesISayDumbShit
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
RoboCritter
Make a YT video
ImperialSquid
-All of imgur
dellie281
Not much makes me laugh uncontrollably but OP you win
zackofspades
I am laughing as hard as OP is farting his nuts off holy shit.
dontmindthescreaming
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Omg this is great
StephanieWasTheTrueVillainOfLazyTown
I am way too fucking high for this post. I'm crying from laughter.
MyPenisGrantsWishes
PPPPPPPRRRRTTTTPRPRPRRTTTTTT
LisaMegatron
Burrrrrrrrrrmp Burrrrrrrrrrmp brp
ChuckTingleBattlesTheAssGoblinsofAuschwitz
BRRRRRRrrrr?
ThisIsAUsernameThatIMade
+1 still laughing
PenisDonaldTrump
I laughed so hard, I farted.
girlsomewhere
I couldnt even hit the upvote I was giggling so hard.
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
*sharp intake of breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
nation543
well as a survivor of colon cancer (7 years now) i would definitely suggest to take fiber daily. but jesus lord almighty, not THAT much
Malikhi
I love that a fart joke made it to the front page
evilmidweekcutie
i wasn't laughing at OP until i saw this. thank you for getting me to laugh.
stopdropandrollout
The greatest top comment ever.
FLDairyTrooper
I was eating a cookie while reading this and now there's bits of chewed up cookie all over my computer and I still can't stop laughing.
darearkin
This effectively sums up my reaction. It's the little "send help."
WhereLBJsNutsHang
I'm laughing AND farting huge bubble gut farts. The Mexican did me IN and I can't trust that I won't shit myself
yerglion
I am laughing to the point of tears. This is golden
prettykitties
I'm laughing so hard my cat extended a paw out to shut me up. LOL
robertshockley
Im hearing this as Drax.
W12A1TH
Omg this. I can't fucking stop
FishingForConversation
This basically sums it up.
therealsiem
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-31074-J-Jonah-Jameson-laughing-gif-S-NWLY.gif
NoTrumpEver
Exactly
burgermei5ter
...feel good
soarta
4Head
QuantumSupersexposition
being lactose intolerant, this is me if I DO fill up my cereal bowl with milk… endless farts and massive shits
Coffiend
Nailed it.
Evyreid
Hehe he said fart
GavinScreaming
Well this sums it up perfectly.
johnnya10
had exactly the same reaction (the laughing, not the violent farting)
kelestofkels
I'm glad somebody is. I have the opposite problem.
MileHighLivin
Oh no, now I'm imagining OP laughing uncontrollably and winding up in an endless cycle of farts and laughing at his farts
Ayxu22
I can see how this might now be funny to everyone, but please, heed my advice!
rbudrick
Kashi go lean crunch. Eat two bowls of this and call the epa.
trustmeimalinguist
I used to eat this daily...can confirm.
portnoyd
They created Colon Blow?
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
+1 for "and call the EPA."
JustASlightJingleOfPocketChangePulsing
is everyone to young on here to know about the Colon Blow skit on SNL?
growlingmeattank
Not me. Thanks for the memory. Get off my lawn.
GetOffMyLawnYa
Yes?
lethaldeathmittens
Nope. My brother and I still reference Colon Blow from time to time, because funny.
smoothaseggs
Not sure this is a 'pro tip'. More like a 'how not to fuck up'.
chloramphenicolderivative
It's a pro...biotic tip
ABadManWithABeard
"I've made a huge mistake."
TheDude12345
I ate a whole box of Fiber One Brownies. Didn't stop farting for 24 hours. I'm not even joking
fastolaf
Had the same problem eating a fiber and protein cereal. Never again.
leeuhnotlayuh
Omg anything from Fiber One is no fucking joke. My manager used to have a bunch of them at work, never again...
ilovelucyloo
Oh the "shit your pants" bars! I had one once. Never again.
bukketl4d
I did that with the Fiber One granola bars. Never again.
DahliaDollface
My wife and I refer to ALL Fiber One products as "fart ____", ie fart bars, fart brownies, etc.
EchinodermataWhatAWonderfulPhrase
I refer to the Starbucks Double shots as Doublesharts, I don't think I have to explain why...
blitherypoop
This happens to me if I eat raw mushrooms on their own. Cooked or in a salad, I'm fine, but raw white mushrooms are a ticket to fart city.
Ispentthelastfewyearsbuildingupanimmunitytoiocanepowder
Did this once. Literally pooped 11 times in 24 hours. And not diareah. 11. Solid 5-6 in long and 1-1.5" diameter semi soft stool.
apotatochip
I scrolled down to find this comment. Knew I wasn't the only one who made this mistake before. I didn't even eat a whole box, just 3 or 4.
sithchild2014
My son once got ahold of and ate two whole rolls of bubble tape, and crapped a giant wad. It smelled like strawberries and raw sewage.
TheDude12345
http://imgur.com/hfQi8nD
cmsport2
Dude...I totally did this, too. I was frightened, startled, shamed, and uncomfortable. Fiber is a bitch in excess.
YellowDrank
If you are not use to a lot of fiber then a few brownies should be enough. Too many will cause a stomach ache.
spannnumber72
I did that with the regular fiber bars. My stomach hurt for days and I was shitting every hour for 2 days. Never again
suckstoyourauntie
Why u do dis?
SuperRockinMrMagic
They are so freaking good though! It's hard to stop
wizardboy24
One time I ate too many prunes. I felt like I was dying while having explosive diarrhea.
SchitzPoppinov
Did this on CQ once, didn't put 2 and 2 together till I was peeing out of my butthole an hour later
Nowihaftathinkofausername
Once I binge ate a full packet of prunes. Worst tummy ache ever, hours of farting. Had to call in sick to work! Lesson learned.
ChickenandFishMakesAGreatDish
I once ate half a box of Kashi Go Lean. 12g fiber per serving...I had 6 servings
waterHeatedByPhotosynthesis
Inulin is nasty stuff.
Emmaniac
The amount of imgurians who have ingested excessive amounts of fiber is much higher than expected
CenturianImgurian
THEY TASTE SO DARN GOOD.
spannnumber72
Lmao. I just replied and then read the other comments and I'm like "oh... I thought I was the only dumbass who did that.."
HottestHottieThatEverHottied
I had like 5 activias and peed out of my bhole :(
suckstoyourauntie
I tried Activia and it was delicious, but it made my stomach overactive and noisy, like a rave in my belly. I think I need the opposite.
QuadrilateralEnix
speaking of peeing out your butthole http://imgur.com/e4CLDNS
Selalalalah
Thank you for sharing this...made my day! ...yeah...poop jokes. I swear I'm an adult. Sometimes.
difficultdifficultlemondifficult
Happened to me with artichoke ravioli. Sweet fancy Moses.
mehgs
+1 for artichoke ravioli. And a request for a recipe. Not THAT recipe.
CanadianOneDollarCoin
+1 for Sweet fancy Moses
blameitonmyjuice
I didn't realize what Fiber One brownies were and wondered why no one in the office was taking them. So I had them all, but noticed nothing!
blameitonmyjuice
Like, even after eating the whole box, I legitimately didn't know the purpose of Fiber One since it didn't affect me. What's wrong with me?
jitspoe
You are The One! The Fiber One!
blameitonmyjuice
I knew I was meant to live for so much more.
DrHarleenFrancesQuinzelMD
This was fucking hilarious and I wish more people saw it.
HeyFreckleFace
Same freaking thing. Our van broke down and it was the only food we had. We all wanted to die. We don't speak much of that day.
MoreAwesomerDan
just groaning and farting then?
HeyFreckleFace
Non stop. The best part was when we got too exhausted from saying "Sorry!" every .5 seconds we just stopped saying anything at all.
ConfederacyOfDunces
This is the best story ever.
MoreAwesomerDan
to investigate why the car is pulled over. They look in the window about to say something when someone groans loudly and rips 2/3
MoreAwesomerDan
I just imagine the driver being overcome by the collective gas of the car and pulling over only to pass out while the police pull up 1/2
MoreAwesomerDan
a little bit escapes to the officers standing outside and they just slowly get back into their car to call the emts to do it instead 3/3
HeyFreckleFace
Hahahaha, that would have been awful! We were in a news van, too. I can imagine a very embarrassing found footage movie inspired by that.
EternalSenshi
Oh my god. I love this. I'm laughing so hard right now.
EchinodermataWhatAWonderfulPhrase
MY BROTHER AND I DID THIS ONCE. We almost shit our pants at a debate tournament. I will never forget the frantic terrified eye contact.
SenorChrzo
I imagine like a fight scene in an old Kung fu movie. Dramatic zoom on eyes, furrowed brow, sinister sneer. Fart to relieve pressure.
EchinodermataWhatAWonderfulPhrase
Actually it was more of us running around the campus with our cheeks clenched trying to find a bathroom, and I was in six inch heels
Mairoa
Ahhh, debate tournament disasters. Gonzaga is a huge campus in January with a broken heel.
finallystoppedlurkingonimgur
I was so confused for a sec, then realized you're a girl.
EchinodermataWhatAWonderfulPhrase
I am, there are dozens of us. Dozens!
Arracor
Are they? How sure are you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
TheRicM
Can you control this outcome? Like if you were going on a road trip and wanted to fart on your siblings the whole way? Or is it too much?
sweaterpuppies
You're asking the real questions
CenturianImgurian
As someone who ate THREE boxes of those things during a 6 HOUR sailing regatta, you can control the outcome if you really, really have to.
TheRicM
Three boxes? WOW
CenturianImgurian
You can control it... if you sacrifice walking and generally having a butt for several days. It wasn't fun, that's all I'll say.
TheRicM
So you basically ate your ass off. Intense.
mcj36
You will shit. A lot. Would not recommend.
Erdan
I once ate an entire box of Fiber One brownies. Costco sized. It was honestly just a LOT of farting, not really much shitting.
TheRicM
Yikes! Thx for the info...
TheDude12345
There's no way to control. It'll come in bursts every 30 minutes for the whole day.Recommended only on super long road trips. Hotbox them
cmc8290
I'm crying.
whyshouldiworry
I wish I could favorite a comment...
TheRicM
Haha! Thx. You know what really works for stinky burps? Raw radishes. We did that once, ate raw radishes and burped the whole way to L.A.
TheDude12345
If you're feeling adventurous, try durian. The stinky Asian fruit. I LOVE it. But the fart and burp. You die along with them, my friend
TheRicM
Oh man. I've smelled the fruit, ate Durian candy, but never actually ate the fruit. I gotta try that sometime. Thanks for the tip! Lol
rattlesnail
In 1 week I will be traveling 4 hours in a car with my husband... To do or not to do?
FirefighterExtraordinaire
"Farting out of my ass right now" - I would be alarmed if you were farting from any other orifice
BinkyTheRabbit
It's called "whizpopping," you commoner
pussyfarts
Do queefs alarm you?
TheMrMul
OP's farting so much it's seeping out their pores!
SepiaSkies
Storytime, you sick fucks. Once when I was a youngin' I was trained to be an EMT. Part of that training involves ER shifts as an ER tech.(1)
SepiaSkies
So this guy comes in and he's nonstop puking. Just a little bit at a time, and it looks and smells awful. The nurse practitioner asks him(2)
SepiaSkies
How long has it been since you've had a BM? He says, "multiple day.. *hurgle* puuuuke." So we load him with contrast up the kiester and (3)
SepiaSkies
send him to radiology. He comes back and holy fuck, this mans upper GI is backed up to his stomach. So every time his intestines would (4)
SepiaSkies
contract, shit from small intestine would squirt back into his stomach, and he'd puke. So shitting and farting from your mouth is possible.
startrekpotato
As a lady...
TheGoddamnDanman
That one came out my penis!
SuitGuy
I don't fart out of my ass. Then again, I have a stoma, so, that's probably ok.
justbecauseimparanoiddoesntmeanyourenotouttogetme
Queef! (Works in scrabble too, FTW!)
LittleWhales
One time I could have totally played this in scrabble and gotten a zillion points. But I was playing with my mom...
resipsaloquitor
That's what I thought, "this person must not possess a vagina"
nkaplan89
Worst moment of my life is when I farted like a horrid I should poop soon fart. And then seconds later sneezed. Never ever do that.
gingerschnapps
It was so bad they felt the need to clarify
AyAyRonn
I hate those damn toenail farts. They're always so awkward
Godislove1980
My dad had a fistula connecting his colon to his bladder. He was farting out of his penis.
IWishIWasBlank
Wouldn't be much of a stretch in this situation.
nihilzero
If I could fart out of my penis I would never stop giggling.
cardboardisdelicious
To be fair a lot of people do talk shit..
soso456
some write a lot of it and it's not even an orifice!
AsSeenByMacaroni
Once I had a fistula from a parasite. Before surgery it opened up on my left buttcheek. Farts invariably exited through the second hole
IWishIWasBlank
That's not something that should be shared. Congrats on being OK after your parasite though.
AsSeenByMacaroni
Which is why I'm sharing it with you all, the wonderful and faceless internet
kfrex
Noooo
wandergeist
...and he called it macaroni
thelonepig
Oh for fuck's sake just kill me now. I can't live on this planet anymore.
AsSeenByMacaroni
Weird and uncomfortable
BattlefieldCounterStrike
Stay classy imgur
Ayxu22
Well.
soso456
that excalated quickly
AsSeenByMacaroni
those were different times.
thelonepig
I checked for pics. I want an ama but I kinda would almost rather die.
AsSeenByMacaroni
I'd be happy to, but I don't think there's any interest
ApocWarlock
Yo! I had a life changing moment when I tried to force a fart and burped instead.. I had to do some soul-searching after that...
importvita
You should have been (•_•) / ( •_•)>⌐□-□ / (⌐□_□) hole searching....YYYEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!
ApocWarlock
... Take my upvote..
pancreas
Did it taste like shit?
ApocWarlock
Funny thing.. I had eaten beef taco hot pockets.. So I'm not sure which it tasted like.
missmaryMACKMACKMACK
this is amazing
keeniemccormick
A burp could be viewed as an oral fart
redshadow1000
If a feetus farts in the womb and the fart travels out of its mother's vagina making an audible sound, is that fart still a fart?
foxhoundunit89
No, it's a queef.
TheDudeanator
Better to fart and taste it than burp and waste it.
dangerkitty
And a sneeze a nasal fart.
danceyoucandanceeverybodylookatyourpants
You can't view a fart. They're invisible.
QuadrilateralEnix
No, farts are primarily methane; burps aren't
LoookMaNoHands
My mom calls farts bottom burps.
SlickBJJ
And a queef as a vaginal fart.
whulfy
#showerthoughts
Markuspsyches
Just gas around the heart, if it had comes out the other end it would have been a fart.
WallpaperQuotes
Thefacts
.
PSIhateyou
A fart could be viewed as an anal burp.
IHaveALurkersSoul
You are now my spirit animal
obeyzz
"Damn that was a sweet ass anal burp dude"
WallpaperQuotes
obeyzz
I will cherish this, thank you.
likeallthethings
Agreed lol. But it's disaster ... Wait. Did you mean to put ass in there or ...
WallpaperQuotes
MrHarryBallzac
Dayum :D
PSIhateyou
Replying because we can't favorite glorious comments.
CarinotetraodonTravancoricus
I once ate a full package of sugar-free Icebreakers in 5 min. Had diarrhea showcasing the three states of matter at the same time.
TheWorldsGreatestPlagueDoctor
So you was shitting plasma?
Ayxu22
Glorious, and I'm glad I'm not alone in my ignorance
MariamK
I'm super relevant right now and I cant stop laughing. Keep going guys
Ificknlovethisshit
I ate a whole bag of sugar free Reese's in HS. Spend the latter half of my day in the bathroom. Was then ostracized bc girls don't poop.
professorx
what the fuck?! your school was stupid
ienjoymoonlight
I can't stop lolling that is the best description I've ever read you'll only know if you've experienced it
mcj36
I used to eat one of those every 15 minutes or so when i was first dating. Figured my stomach was hurting from holding in farts. TIL, nope.
ChemicalPizza
MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL
sednaxii
I too have done this...
nym23
be happy that you didn't eat chili that day or you could have added the 4th state, plasma to your list
thatclimbingguy
You ever thought about doing standup? I'm in tears
nym23
With just one line?...probably more than most of the comics have ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TheCanadianNerd
Here's to hoping op didn't find a way to add superfluids to that list because i would be seriously alarmed.
kidsencyclopedia
A lot of sugar free candies have sorbitol in them. In larger amounts, it is a laxative.
LiamNeesonOfficial
An episode of House. Some guy went to clinic chewing gum and said quitting smoking have him diarrhea. It was the 10 packs of gym a day.
MagnetBox
Same thing happened to me, and as I was shitting my soul out I remembered that episode.
AngelSnipe
I AM SO HAPPY YOU KNOW THIS, SORRY FOR ALL CAPS, I AM JUST FUCKING EXCITED!!! I LOVE HOUSE!!!
DDPB9k5G
how sublime
lazerbream
damn it, I'll upvote that. even if no one else gets it.
DDPB9k5G
To be fair, I was 6 hours late. As recognition for a fellow traveler, I present you: http://imgur.c">om/CmlZe">http://imgur.com/CmlZe /1tqJIS1
Phillthy
I...don't get it.
DDPB9k5G
sublimation is when a substance exists simultaneously in multiple states. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublimation_(phase_transition)
DDPB9k5G
e.g. ice, water, and gas at the same time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jvicQ2Xj0o
malachitekell
Pbbbbtbtbtbblllblrlrlrtttt
QuadrilateralEnix
probably more like PBBBBBBBBBTBTBTBLLLRLRLLRLRTTT
CarinotetraodonTravancoricus
Add sone G's in there and it's pretty close.
malachitekell
You can only do so much with a mobile keypppbppptpptpptlrlrlrlttttrtttt
BoxesofFoxes
There are 4 states of matter.
Marclivis
There are more than 4. A lot more.
BoxesofFoxes
Solid, liquid, gas, plasma...what else? DID HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE LIE TO ME?! D:
Marclivis
Most people don't even know plasma! :D Those are the 4 main states that you see every day. Wiki article on states of matter has a good list
KingoPants
There a lot of them, a lot are hypothetical or only in extreme conditoons though. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_states_of_matter
keyserv
Let's have a moment of silence for OP's butthole.
Curranimo
That moment of silence sounded more like me giggling like a schoolgirl. (I'm a guy FYI.)
6ft1DickC
How about a moment of silence for anyone in a 50 ft radius of OP
smoochmysnoot
Anyone within a 50 foot radius of OP has cleared said radius
QuadrilateralEnix
or is already dead
ImPickleRRRRRRiiiiiiccccccckkkkkk
As a dead person, I can confirm.
sallytheseashellseller
He put the "hurt" in "yoghurt"
QuadrilateralEnix
Nested Comment of the Day
sallytheseashellseller
I'm flattered :D
SweetBabyYeezus
*Farts amazing grace*
WeePhiggy
In my head. Damn you. +1
Mentalguy15
but, it could be deadly.
halborski
...because it sure won't.
pvncake
Dat yogurt made his hole weak.
GodEmperorOfImgur
prrrrrrt
novaprime
That's what he wants, so no.
thedictionary
Looks like OP needs @kylecorn
almostsomething182
I'd feel more for OP if they had eaten a few fiber one bars. Just a couple of those and it's like you become a wind tunnel.
d0o0o0d
That's not the problem I had. Wasn't gassy at all, just felt like my butthole had been packed full of sawdust. Ow ow ow.
dairios
Made me think of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmnSmoFu0-8
splitalterego
Have a moment of silence because they won't.
BlowDog
Why should we if OP cant even silence their own butthole.
FrauBlucher
RIP. Literally.
Itspronouncedjif
Never forget
svga
couldn't if he tried
dylandylandylandylananddylan
not gonna happen with all those probiotix
hotwheeler89
Kylecorn could plug it up for OP.
iamOzymandiasLookOnMyWorksDumbassAndDespair
'pro'biotic? More like 'amateurbiotic' amirite
tiduszecht
Cornholio can preside over it
monsterram1500
I dunno why i thought, but i thought of this when reading his comment. "I am lord! Ya ya ya!"
TooManyDamKids
Why should we? His butthole didn't have a moment of silence.
theaeronaut
Someone needs a box of Desitin ASAP. Let's start a GoFundMe account in honor of OP's butthole.
Burntoutwaiter
Let's hope OP gets a moment of silence from their butthole
worxharder
OP first! ;)
Nenebinx
Oh wait, you can't
Moloyer
*toot*
Sw1gg1tysw00ty
Where's that post about the guy who are a whole box of those bars and whose ass was violently screaming?
notablequotableupvotable
Because OP's butthole won't be silent any time soon
babbzilla
NO! The silent ones are deadly!!
DidItForScience
A bit difficult at the moment with the 21 gun salutes, fireworks, chainsaws ripping logs & the freight train at OP's back door.
lowkeybrotherofthor
Silent...but deadly
AnimosityTowardTheContrivance
After this experience, OPs farts will all come out as gentle whispers, so this is fitting.
keeniemccormick
......prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp......
NaySayerWasTakenButIAmActuallyNaySayerDoe
ppsssssshhhhhhhfffpp
keeniemccormick
Might want to check your pants after that one :O
NaySayerWasTakenButIAmActuallyNaySayerDoe
I should, I think it soaked through the diaper D:
missmaryMACKMACKMACK
i said this in my mind and laughed
invisiblelurker
It would be easier to have a moment of silence for OP's butthole if he could stop farting.
TheUnsolicitedDuckPic
Damnt laughed so hard i pinched off the turd to soon.
invisiblelurker
Never had that happen to me, do you just stop pooping after that or do you continue on?
NarySummation
Hate that. Ruins your momentum.
SgtCookie111
This is one of those comments that deserves more points than the original.
invisiblelurker
Thank you :) It was one of my funnier moments
keyserv
Goddamnit, OP.
ABadManWithABeard
Ruining everything.
IrohJR
It would be easier to do a 21 gun salute.
IAmNotASkeleton
More like a 21 fart salute, am I right?