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BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. - A man yelling obscenities, calling himself a saint and threatening to send his turtle army to destroy everyone has been arrested, according to an affidavit from the Indialantic Police Department.
Officers responded to at least seven calls about disturbances at Starbucks Coffee, Surfanista Café and Sassy Granny’s Smoothies along N. Miramar Avenue.
Lane then left the department but was later located at a 7-Eleven on Fifth Avenue.
As an officer stood by, Lane called 911 and told the operator, “I need to leave now or you will all be sorry you (expletive) with the saint,” according to the affidavit.
Police said Lane refused to leave his car, so an officer forcibly removed him and placed him under arrest.
https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-man-threatens-to-destroy-everyone-with-army-of-turtles-police-say
taroband
Orland is Florida right?
ToSisPoS
100% chance Carl Hiassen wrote a novel about this.
quincythomasthedisappointing
Oraculator
Florida man in the News again.
Perfzilla
richitobandito
Simpson's predicted again!
ImTheJuggernautBricks
goddamn this is a deep cut. +1
freddyflash311
How about we let him out of jail and see how this plays out. A turtle army sounds kinda funny
OverthoughtUnderedited
All fun and games until someone suggests countering them with a crow army. Then you'll all wish you'd soaked your logs in wood. You'll see!
freddyflash311
I would be more afraid of a crow army than a turtle army, you have me there