DnD Dump of the Mad Mage

Nov 8, 2023 3:17 AM

grimgrinner

Views

83589

Likes

1208

Dislikes

45

dnd5e

dndmemes

dungeons_and_dragons

#6 sometimes I wish I made this instead of a gunslinger

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's metagaming and I'll have none of it, sir.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

#6 I have a cyborg detective who specializes in gunkata in our homebrew game and he’s amazing

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 The monk doesn't need to ask who has darkvision.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#34 - Disagree on this. Primarily because Tolkien absolutely hated battles. He never really wrote the stuff because it would trigger his PTSD from his time fighting in WWI. Outside of the money, he probably would have hated the movies for the same reason, because he would not have been able to stand watching it.

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Excellent point.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#6 Ah, Equilibrium. Yet another movie where Sean Bean dies.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

#13 by session 24: “Hold fast! For I am Robert Hobby, Grand Artificer of the Shire, and I will lay my model train tracks across thine grave, villain!”

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I am playing Baldurs Gate and have never played DND. I feel like I understood like 40% of these

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#47

2 years ago | Likes 88 Dislikes 0

Perfect. Just perfect.

2 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

Without hope, there is no peace.

2 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

#1 My homebrew game has a villain the party is NOT MEANT to do battle with, ever. Only one of the major NPCs is able to fight and win, the party has to run around securing objectives to make sure he CAN win. I run it best in pathfinder, since both the villain and NPC are 20+ level and 10 mythic ranks. So far the numerous times I've run the game, the parties have always enjoyed it.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#49 warlocks do things in exchange for their power. They are magical salarymen. Clerics are the magical super babies.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My only DnD joke ever: *looking through spellbook* "Hmm, this spell would have been handy on 9/11" GM: "What? Which spell ??" *showing Players Guide* "7th level, Plane Shift"

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

"You and up to eight willing creatures who link hands in a circle are transported to a different plane ..."

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#5 can someone unnerd this for me?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Warlocks get a very limited selection of wizard/sorcerer spells, but they have a pact (usually with an evil entity) where they sell their soul for eldritch power, eldritch blast being a simple (but endless) damage spell. So rather than telling the paladin that you're serving an evil entity, you say wizard... That is, until you run out of wiz/sor spells and to continue to contribute, you cast eldritch blast which reveals your true nature. The paladin, unable to collaborate with evil, is unhappy.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank my dude!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#19 My friend doesn't understand how this would help you sleep with a dragon.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#50 Take time to decompress. Eat chocolate. Wrap in a blanket and drink something warm. Yes, this is similar to aftercare. No, it's not that different. You just experienced a massive rush of emotions and adrenaline. Take some time to breathe, relax, and think about what you enjoyed in the last session.

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

... I had never considered that the two kinds of DM may be more similar than the jokes make it out to be!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I point at his weapon and open my hand.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

that last one hits

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#35 can someone explain this for my friend?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Warforged are constructs, so kinda like a magic robot. Hence they lack the organs needed to consume things. Usually. WD 40 is a penetrating oil used to lubricate moving parts on simple machines. Not usually sold in a pop top can.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It all makes sense now. Thank you. Kind stranger for the wonderful explanation.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#50 yep.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#29 the thing about magic missile is that it can't miss

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#24 this is legitimately what I'd do if I were an undead BBEG, but im not sure how to fit it into rules.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#5 In 3e I was playing a cleric of Evening Glory. She is a goddess of eternal love. As in, become undead and you can last as long as your love does. I was just a friendly love priest (generally not mentioning the undead part) until we ran into some undead. Instead of turning them I rebuked them, which is something usually only evil clerics did. One other player caught that and gave me quite the look.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 Perhaps the BBEG is actually an illusion? #15 That... is rather concerning. #20 Try more like "sorry bud, not today" #24 Smart! But not everything that moves breathes. #28 Both. And the sheer amount of spiders involved. #32 HAH! You bet she would. #35 heheh yeah! #37 a cleric is not necessarily a medic. #40 the boss fight is how many cats you can kill before getting covered in them and being immobilized. #41 #47 #48 HAH! #45 accurate! #49 "witches" have a very different method of 1/2

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

performing magic than other types of spellcasters. Witches aren't alchemists despite heavily using magical ingredients to create concoctions which they can augment with their own relatively weaker, but still notable magical capability (alchemists have none or very little). This "liquid ritual" style of spellcasting is usually less direct or offensive in use, but it allows them to create potions, or even outright cast potent spells. They can create magical charms with/without such as well.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I will ALWAYS upvote D&D.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#20 I would ask my dm if I could use skywrite to do this.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#4 Kinky!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 1

I'm in agreement with this. Appreciate the perspective change.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

But what was his phylactery? My head cannon is that it was the cross, which is why he is canonically depicted as wearing a crucifix

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

His phylactery was literally a phylactery, as defined in the dictionary. “A small leather box containing Hebrew texts on vellum, worn by Jewish men at morning prayer as a reminder to keep the law.”

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Points to magitek for their knowledge of ancient Hebrew customs and linguistics. From the 5e manual: "The most common form of phylactery is a sealed metal box containing strips of parchment on which magical phrases have been transcribed. The box is Tiny and has 40 hit points, hardness 20, and a break DC of 40."

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's bread and wine. "My body given for you." "My blood given for you." We take communion and consume his blood and flesh. We are his thralls. (Christians, I mean.)

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#46 as someone who doesn't play d&d, why would the lich care if his spell got changed from fireball to fire bolt?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fireball makes a big explosion. Fire bolt is only big enough to hit a single target.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Firebolt does 1d10 to 3d10 to a single target. Fireball does 8d6 damage to everything in a big circle. Fire bolt is a "fuck you" while Fireball is a "to whom it may concern."

Bullet vs grenade.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#2 A Pathfinder 1e meme? In a DnD dump in 2023? Colour me surprised. So what does that build even do?

2 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Nothing well. None of those spellcasting classes stack, you'd have a base attack of 0, and you wouldn't qualify for any prestige classes anytime soon. It's an absurd build. You would get a very decent number of level 1 spells per day, 1d6 sneak attack, and surprisingly high saves, though.

2 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Wrath of the Righteous only came out 2 years ago. I just picked it up after seeing a review saying it "does a lot of things better than BG3", and trying it out and loving it. (oh, and idk about that build either. it almost sounds more like a PF2 build except there's no arcanist)

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Variant multiclassing is a huge giveaway. But he's also obscure and horribly balanced so don't expect it to be making its way to the CRPG anytime soon.
https://legacy.aonprd.com/unchained/skillsAndOptions/variantMulticlassing.html

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A lot of things impressively poorly XD. Once he gets some more magus levels, maybe he'll have a bunch of extra shocking grasps to slap people with, but very little at level 3.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I really liked Inquisitor in Pathfinder. Annoyed that it's not in D&D.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Summoner and Shaman were both super fun classes. Thankfully 5e has Artificer and Warlock.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There are dozens of us that still play 1e! Dozens!

2 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

yep, i'm here !

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

dozen!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dozens!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I do!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sounding off!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#49 I knew who... I was reading about it a couple months back. He wrote the encyclopedia of Witch Identification in the 1400s and was the one who made it specifically anti-feminist

2 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 1

He wrote it because a woman called him out on his hypocrisy, and the Chuch sided with her when he accused her of witchcraft and heresy.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

well, there's also a modern author who has deeply held beliefs about asserting and enforcing gender roles who also popularized the notion of wizards being men and witches being women more recently. but yeah to the best of my knowledge thats where much of the notion comes from. but funny enough, his ideas weren't really in popular use at the time and gained an outsized influence later on

2 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

https://youtu.be/SjXETCPMuHo?si=9EcJ8P9AFhzOS-lb this is actually covered in this video essay

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Heinrich Kramer

2 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

I was super confused, thought we were talking about the Tumblr dude

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For the record: in French, cramer is slang for "to burn". The irony is strong.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I'd love to know the etymology of that. Did the slang term exist before he started burning witches, or did it come about because he burned witches?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I highly doubt that there is any etymological link between these: I believe Kramer was from the HRGE, so his name influencing French lexicon seems hardly plausible. I'll check the actual etymology and will get back to you.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0