Starting to feel in control again

I used be be a coffee fiend. Couldn't go to class or work/couldn't be productive without a venti black coffee, multiple in a day usually. In August 2015, I moved to New York City to attend grad school. When I moved, a lot of negative things happened in my social life. The stress of moving to a new country and the stress of doing a masters on top of the stress of my personal life became all too overwhelming. I developed crippling anxiety, I spent days in my bed terrified of the thought of socializing, even with my roommates. It held me back from getting studying done or just feeling normal. My reliance on coffee triggered awful panic attacks, lasting about 5 or 6 hours. It messed up my sleeping because I felt like I was going to have a stroke in my sleep (a common fear with anxiety). Even a tiny coffee would make the rest of my day hell, feeling like I was losing my mind and my grip on reality. When I learned that caffeine wasnt helping me, I stopped drinking cold turkey. Over the past 15 months I've been getting better at taking care of myself, knowing how to get myself through really rough attacks. Part of that is thanks to my good friend who also has experienced this. One of the scariest things about anxiety is the feeling that you're the only one going through it, validating your worries that you're going mad and you're gonna die. I had caffeine today, and no anxiety attack!

Post will probably get lost in user sub. Just wanted to give myself a pat on the back for gaining back control. Still don't think I'll drink coffee, but feels good after going through 15 months of torture.

TL;DR: had a really stressful period that lead to crippling anxiety. Had to give up caffeine because it triggered horrible panic attacks. Had caffeine today and no attack. Feeling good!